The Remaining Warmth Of Fog Harbor Chapter 48

Daisy as inscription

There is always fog on the beach in Qingchuan, especially in the early morning. The mist is like a transparent veil, covering the rocks and beaches, and even the sound of the waves becomes gentle and distant.Lu Wanheng chose such an early morning to hold a burial ceremony for Shen Zhiyi.There were no guests, no joy and sorrow, just her, holding the small, off-white urn, walking step by step towards the hillside by the sea.

Living on a hillside facing the sea, with a wide view, you can see the entire blue sea. It was Shen Zhiyi’s favorite place to sketch during his lifetime.Lu Wanheng specially asked someone to open a small cemetery here. There are no luxurious tombstones, only a flat blue-gray rock that she personally selected from the seaside. It bears the traces of waves washed away, rough but gentle.

She was wearing Shen Zhiyi’s favorite light blue shirt – she found it when she was sorting out Shen Zhiyi’s belongings. It was washed a little white, but still had a faint fragrance that belonged to Shen Zhiyi.Her arms holding the urn were shaking slightly, and her steps were heavy, as if she were stepping on the tip of a knife.The morning dew wet her trousers, bringing a biting chill, but she didn’t feel it at all. The coldness in her heart had already spread to her limbs.

Walking to the cemetery, Lu Wanheng slowly knelt down and gently placed the urn next to the pre-dug pit.She did not bury it immediately, but squatted down, stretched out her hand, and gently touched the urn.The box was small and light, so light that it made her panic, as if Shen Zhiyi would completely disappear from the world if she let go.

“Zhiyi, we’re here,” her voice was as soft as mist, with a strong nasal tone, “This is your favorite place. You can see the sea every day and hear the sound of the waves. You will definitely like it.”

She remembered that Shen Zhiyi always said that when he got old, he would find a seaside town like this to settle down, paint and watch the sea every day, and live a peaceful and stable life.Now, Shen Zhiyi has finally “settled” here, but this stability comes at the cost of eternal silence.

Lu Wanheng took out a fine-tipped paintbrush and a can of white paint from his canvas bag – these are Shen Zhiyi’s commonly used painting materials.She took a deep breath, tremblingly picked up the paintbrush, dipped in a little paint, and carefully painted on the blue-gray rock.Her painting skills are not exquisite, and are even a bit clumsy, but every stroke is filled with extreme seriousness and longing.She painted a daisy.Shen Zhiyi likes daisies the most, saying that they are pure and tough, like the light in ordinary life.

The paintbrush slid on the rock, and the white paint outlined the outline of the daisy little by little. The petals were layered on top of each other, with a light yellow stamen in the center – she specially used Shen Zhiyi’s favorite lemon yellow paint.Halfway through the painting, her hands trembled uncontrollably, and the paint dripped onto the rock, leaving a small trace of white.She stopped writing, wiped her tears with the back of her hand, took a deep breath, and continued drawing.

She remembered that Shen Zhiyi once taught her to draw, holding her hand and teaching her to draw lines one by one, and said patiently: “Wanheng, you have to calm down when painting and follow your own feelings.” At that time, the sun shone in through the window and fell on their intertwined hands, which was warm and beautiful.But now, no one teaches her to draw anymore, no one holds her hand and tells her to “follow her feelings”.

It took a full hour and the daisy was finally finished.It’s not perfect, even a little rough, but in Lu Wanheng’s eyes, this is the most beautiful flower in the world.She put down her brush and looked at the daisies on the rock, tears welling up again.”Zhiyi, I drew this for you,” she said softly, “From now on, this daisy will accompany you for me. You will not be alone.”

She did not carve any words on the tombstone.She felt that no words could summarize Shen Zhiyi’s life, nor could she express her love and longing for Shen Zhiyi.This hand-painted daisy is the best testimony of their love and the warmest mark left by Shen Zhiyi in this world.

Next, she began to bury the urn with her own hands.She picked up a small shovel and shoveled the soil into the pit bit by bit, gently, as if she was caring for a rare treasure.The soil fell on the urn, making a slight sound. Every sound was like a heavy hammer, hitting Lu Wanheng’s heart.

She recalled the breakup letter written by Shen Zhiyi when he left Wugang, saying, “From now on, the mountains are high and the rivers are far away, we are all in peace and will never see each other again.”At that time, she thought that this was just a temporary separation, and that as long as she found her, she could break this oath.But now, they really “never meet each other”. The mountains are high and the water is far away, Yin and Yang are separated, and there is no possibility of meeting each other again.

The soil gradually buried the urn, and finally formed a small mound.Lu Wanheng put down the shovel, knelt in front of the mound, and gently stroked the soft soil with his hands, as if stroking Shen Zhiyi’s cheek.”Zhiyi, I’m sorry,” she choked, “I failed to protect you, failed to let you live a happy life, and even failed to accompany you in your last days.”

“Zhiyi, I love you,” she lay on the mound, crying bitterly. “In this life, I have only loved you. In the future, I will come to see you often, bring you your favorite daisies, tell you about Wugang, the cities I walked through, and the sea I painted.”

The morning fog gradually dissipated, and the sun shone through the clouds, falling on the rock with daisies carved on it, on the small mound, and on Lu Wanheng’s body.The sun was warm, but it couldn’t dispel the coldness in her heart.She knelt in front of the tomb and cried for a long time, until her tears dried up and the sun rose above her head, then she slowly stood up.

She took one last look at the hand-painted daisy, glanced at the small mound, and turned to leave.After walking a few steps, she couldn’t help but look back, as if she could still see Shen Zhiyi standing there, wearing a white dress, smiling and saying to her: “Wanheng, you are here.” But in reality, there was only the empty hillside, the quietly blooming daisy, and endless thoughts and regrets.

She walked slowly along the seaside trail, and the sea breeze blew in her face, carrying a salty breath and blowing her hair.She remembered that Shen Zhiyi once said that the sea breeze has memories, and it will carry people’s thoughts far away.She closed her eyes, letting the sea breeze blow her cheeks, and said silently in her heart: “Zhiyi, will the wind bring my thoughts to you? Can you feel it?”

Love hidden in paintings, lifelong obsession

After burying Shen Zhiyi, Lu Wanheng returned to the small house Shen Zhiyi rented before his death.Mrs. Chen found out about Shen Zhiyi and was full of sympathy for Lu Wanheng. She sorted out all Shen Zhiyi’s belongings and put them in the room.

Everything in the room remains as it was when Shen Zhiyi left: there is an unfinished sketch on the desk, a seascape painting that has just been started is placed on the easel, a bottle of withered daisies is placed on the bedside table, several pieces of clothes she often wears are hung in the closet, and a thick stack of sketches is piled in the corner.

Lu Wanheng walked into the room, and a familiar aura belonging to Shen Zhiyi hit her face, making her eyes red instantly.She walked to the desk and gently touched the drawing paper and brushes on it, as if she could still feel the warmth of Shen Zhiyi when he was painting here.

In the next few days, Lu Wanheng began to sort out Shen Zhiyi’s drawings.This is a long and painful job. Each drawing carries Shen Zhiyi’s emotions and memories, as well as the love between them.She sat on the floor, spread out the drawings one by one, arranged them in chronological order, and looked through each one carefully, for fear of missing any detail.

The top pile was drawn by Shen Zhiyi when he first arrived in Qingchuan.The paintings depict the mountains and rivers of Qingchuan, the flowers and plants in the courtyard, and the people walking leisurely on the street.The colors are fresh and the style is soft, full of tranquility and hope.Looking at these paintings, Lu Wanheng could feel Shen Zhiyi’s determination to start over and his efforts to get rid of the pain of the past.

She picked up a painting, which was of daisies in the courtyard of the B&B.The daisies in the painting are in full bloom, with white petals and yellow stamens. The sun shines on them, making them warm and dazzling.Lu Wanheng’s fingers gently brushed the daisies in the painting, and tears fell unconsciously.She thought of their apartment in Wugang. Shen Zhiyi was the same way, carefully taking care of the daisies on the balcony, watering and fertilizing them every day, with a gentle smile on his face.

She continued to scroll down, and the tones of the drawing gradually became more complex.There are several paintings depicting rocks on the seashore. The waves are beating against the rocks. The sky is gloomy gray, with a touch of loneliness.Lu Wanheng knew that this was painted by Shen Zhiyi when his condition was relapsing.She could imagine Shen Zhiyi sitting alone on the rocks by the sea, looking at the gloomy sky, filled with pain and confusion, and could only vent these emotions through a paintbrush.

Just then, a drawing caught her attention.The painting was from Wu Gang’s studio, where they first met.The windows of the studio are open, and the sunlight shines on the painting table. On the painting table, there is a bouquet of daisies and two paintbrushes close to each other.In the corner of the painting, there is a small, almost imperceptible figure, wearing a white dress, sitting by the window painting – that is Shen Zhiyi.And at the door of the studio, there was a vague figure standing there, as if hesitating whether to go in or not – that was herself.

Lu Wanheng’s heart suddenly shrank, and tears instantly blurred his vision.She remembered this day, the day they first met.Because she was in a bad mood, she accidentally walked into Shen Zhiyi’s studio and saw the girl sitting by the window painting.At that time, she was wearing a black suit. She was in an extremely bad mood because of the pressure from her family and the strife in the workplace.But the moment she saw Shen Zhiyi, her heart suddenly calmed down.

She didn’t expect that Shen Zhiyi would draw this day.Moreover, she also drew her into the painting.Although the face of that blurry figure could not be seen clearly, Lu Wanheng recognized it at a glance and it was her.It turned out that from the moment they first met, she had entered Shen Zhiyi’s heart and her paintings.

She tremblingly picked up another drawing, which was of the seaside of Fog Harbor.As the sun sets, the sky is dyed orange-red, and the waves roll up the fine sand and lap at the coast.There are two girls in the painting, holding hands and walking on the beach, their backs are intimate and happy.One of the girls was wearing a white dress with long hair shawl-that was Shen Zhiyi; the other girl was wearing a black shirt with neat short hair-that was herself.

This was the first weekend after they confirmed their relationship, and she took Shen Zhiyi to the beach to watch the sunset.The sunset that day was beautiful. Shen Zhiyi leaned on her shoulder and whispered softly: “Wanheng, it’s so nice to have you here.” She held Shen Zhiyi’s hand tightly at that time, her heart was filled with happiness, and she vowed to protect this girl for the rest of her life and make her always so happy.

But now, the oath is still in my ears, but the people have long been separated from each other.Lu Wanheng looked at the two back figures in the painting, tears pouring out of his eyes like broken beads.She thought of the sunset that day, the waves that day, Shen Zhiyi’s gentle words that day, and the happiness and determination in her heart that day.But all these have become memories that can never be repeated again.

She continued to scroll down, and her figure appeared in more and more drawings.Sometimes she watched Shen Zhiyi paint in the studio, sometimes she accompanied Shen Zhiyi in the kitchen cooking, sometimes she held Shen Zhiyi’s hand for a walk in the park, and sometimes she held Shen Zhiyi while watching a movie on the sofa.

Some of these drawings are very detailed, and her face can be clearly seen; some are very blurry, with only a rough outline; some are even just a small silhouette, hidden in the corners of the painting, and cannot be found without looking carefully.But every figure and every detail could be recognized by Lu Wanheng at a glance. It was her.

She found that there were almost no traces of her missing in Shen Zhiyi’s paintings.From the first time he met her and left Wugang, from the time she fell ill to the time she came to Qingchuan anonymously, Shen Zhiyi recorded every important moment and every warm scene with a brush, hiding her figure deeply in the painting.

There is a drawing of them decorating a Christmas tree together in their apartment.It was their first Christmas together. She took a special leave and went to buy a small Christmas tree with Shen Zhiyi and decorate it together.Shen Zhiyi hung the painted daisies on the Christmas tree, and she placed a bunch of gifts under the tree.In the painting, they smile so happily and sweetly, and the love in their eyes almost overflows.

Lu Wanheng picked up this drawing and put it on his face, as if he could still feel the warmth and happiness at that time.She recalled that Shen Zhiyi said to her with a smile: “Wanheng, this is the happiest Christmas I have ever had.” She hugged Shen Zhiyi tightly and said, “I will be with you every Christmas in the future.” But she failed to fulfill her promise. They only spent one Christmas together before they were forced to separate due to family opposition and secular prejudice.

She turned to the last few paintings Shen Zhiyi drew before leaving Wugang.The paintings are of the apartment they once lived in together, the sofa in the living room, the vase on the dining table, the wardrobe in the bedroom, and the group photo on the desk.Every corner is drawn so carefully and so familiarly.The apartment in the painting is empty, without anyone, only those objects full of memories, placed there quietly, with a touch of loneliness and reluctance.

Lu Wanheng knew how painful and reluctant Shen Zhiyi felt when he left Wugang.She couldn’t let go of this apartment full of memories, couldn’t let go of everything here, let alone her.But she still left, taking her love and disappointment with her, and went to a strange city alone.

Finally, she turned to the last painting “No Return” and a thick album of paintings with “Fog Harbor Without You” written on the cover.

“No Return” depicts the Wugang Studio where she first met. It is very similar to the painting she saw before, but the tone of this painting is darker and more lonely.The windows of the studio are still open, and the sunlight is still shining on the painting table. There is still a bouquet of daisies on the painting table, but the two brushes close together have become one.In the corner of the painting, Shen Zhiyi’s figure is still sitting by the window, but her eyes are full of despair and emptiness.Under the painting, there is a small line of handwriting, which is Shen Zhiyi’s signature. Next to it is written: “I love you, but there is no return date.”

Lu Wanheng looked at these words, and her heart felt like it was pierced by a cold dagger. The pain was so painful that she couldn’t breathe.She could feel Shen Zhiyi’s despair and pain at that time, and her reluctance and helplessness towards this relationship.I love you, but I have no return date.These six simple words express all the regret and sadness between them.

She opened the painting album “Fog Harbor Without You”, which contained all the important paintings of Shen Zhiyi from the time he first met his death, and each painting was marked with a date.From the day they first met, to the day they confirmed their relationship, to the day they spent Christmas together, to the day she was placed under house arrest by her father, to the day she left Wugang, to the day she fell ill in Qingchuan, and finally to the last moment of her life.

The last page of the album is a blank drawing paper, with only a line of Shen Zhiyi’s handwriting on it: “Wanheng, meeting you is the luckiest thing in my life; falling in love with you is the bravest thing in my life; leaving you is the most painful thing in my life. If there is an afterlife, I hope we can love each other well in a world without prejudice and restraint, and never be separated again.”

Lu Wanheng couldn’t bear it anymore. He hugged the album and collapsed on the ground, crying bitterly.Her cries were shrill and desperate, echoing in the empty room, as if she wanted to vent all her thoughts, all her guilt, and all her pain.

She finally understood that Shen Zhiyi had never given up on this relationship and had never forgotten her.Her love is always there, hidden in every painting, every detail, and every word.From the first time she encountered death, Shen Zhiyi always had a place for her in his heart.

But she understood too late.If she could discover the secrets in these paintings earlier, if she could know Shen Zhiyi’s thoughts earlier, if she could find her earlier, would everything be different?Wouldn’t it be possible for them to get to where they are today?Will she not lose her forever?

But there are no ifs in the world. If you miss it, you will miss it. If you lose it, you will lose it.

Lu Wanheng held the album and sat on the floor, crying for a long time.The sunlight in the room gradually slanted westward, streaming in through the window, falling on her body and on the drawings, with a touch of warmth, but it could no longer warm her cold heart.

She carefully organized all the drawings and put them into the off-white painting folder – it was her birthday gift to Shen Zhiyi.She wants to take these drawings back to Fog Harbor and the studio where they first met.She wants to hold a painting exhibition, a painting exhibition that belongs only to them, to show Shen Zhiyi’s paintings to everyone, so that everyone can know what an excellent painter Shen Zhiyi is, and let everyone know how pure and firm the love between them is.

She stood up and took one last look at the room.This place where Shen Zhiyi once lived, worked hard, and struggled, this place is full of their memories.She gently closed the door, as if saying goodbye to Shen Zhiyi, the love that ended in nothing, and the beautiful and painful times they spent together.

When we walked out of the B&B, the sun had already set and the sky was dyed orange, exactly like the scene in the painting.Lu Wanheng walked slowly along the seaside trail, holding the picture folder tightly in his hand, as if holding Shen Zhiyi’s life and the last thoughts between them.

The sea breeze blows in the face, carrying a salty breath, which seems to be telling endless thoughts and regrets.Lu Wanheng looked up at the sea in the distance and said silently in his heart: “Zhiyi, I will take your paintings back to Wugang. I will fulfill your wish and let more people see your talent. I will always remember you and love you until the end of my life.”

Although the remaining warmth of Fog Harbor has dissipated, the love in the painting will never disappear.Those longings hidden in the paintings, those obsessions engraved in the bottom of my heart, will accompany Lu Wanheng through the remaining long years until they meet again in another world.

Banxia novel, a lot of fun