The Remaining Warmth Of Fog Harbor Chapter 27
byThe lack of heart gradually fills up
Shen Zhiyi was lying on the painting table on the balcony, and her fingertips gently rubbed the hand-painted bookmark that Lu Wanheng carried with her. The foggy blue cardboard glowed with a warm light, and the tassels hung down on the watercolor painting, blending with the brushstrokes of the “Evening Thoughts” series.The Wugang River outside the window was sparkling, and the sound of Lu Wanheng cooking sweet soup came from the kitchen. The aroma of cinnamon and snow pear filled the studio and enveloped her. This was a sense of solidity and warmth that she had never experienced in her more than 20 years of life.
She grew up in an environment lacking love.My parents always favored sons over daughters, and there was always only arguments about food, rice, oil and salt at home. There was no gentle advice, no affirmative praise, and no careful cherishing.No matter how good her paintings were when she was a child, they would just be thrown into the corner and gather dust; when she was sick and had a fever, she could only drink hot water while wrapped in a quilt; the reunion dinners during festivals were always filled with accusations that she was “not good enough, not as good as her brother.”For a long time, she was used to being patient, used to digesting her emotions by herself, used to hiding all her expectations in her heart, and decided that she was not worthy of being cared for.
Before meeting Lu Wanheng, painting was her only salvation.She hid in the old studio and painted the fog in the foggy port and the deserted river scene. She locked all her loneliness and longing into watercolor paints, thinking that she would write alone like this for the rest of her life and spend her whole life in loneliness.Until that beam of cold light penetrated the thick fog and fell in front of her easel, until Lu Wanheng understood her thoughts, caught her fragility, and regarded her existence as a unique treasure.
What really made Shen Zhiyi break through his defenses were countless small and cherished moments.
She casually mentioned that when she was a child, she envied others for having their own special storage boxes. Within three days, Lu Wanheng had customized a complete set of solid wood storage cabinets for painting tools. They were partitioned according to her usage habits, and each box was labeled. The brushes, paints, and drawing papers were divided into categories, and even the soft cloths for wiping the brushes were neatly folded. When she stayed up late to paint, Lu Wanheng never urged her to take a rest, but just cooked quietly.Warm tea, wrapped in a blanket, sitting on the lazy sofa with her the whole time, and gently brushing away the paint marks on the tip of her nose while doing work; when she was curled up on the sofa with abdominal pain during her menstrual period, Lu Wanheng put aside all work and stayed by her side to rub her belly, apply hot compresses, and brew brown sugar and ginger tea. Even the water temperature was controlled at the most suitable temperature. The distress in his eyes was more real than she had ever seen.
And the hand-painted bookmark that Lu Wanheng had hidden in the middle of her wallet and never left her had touched the softest corner of her heart.She never thought that the small objects she drew casually would be regarded as life by others, would be carried close to the body, and would be taken out repeatedly to look at and cherish during business negotiations, while waiting for a red light, or when alone late at night.In Lu Wanheng’s wallet, there are backup copies of million-dollar contracts and black cards from major banks, but the core mezzanine position is reserved for her hand-drawn feelings. This preference is more powerful than any sweet words.
That day while sorting out the couple’s books, Shen Zhiyi dug out an old drawing from her childhood. The paper was yellowed and curled. It was a treasure that she secretly picked up after being discarded by her parents.After Lu Wanheng saw it, he specially customized a moisture-proof picture frame, carefully framed the old manuscript, and hung it in the most conspicuous place in the studio. He said softly: “You were so talented when you were a child. Those who can’t see your light are their loss.”
One sentence made Shen Zhiyi’s eyes turn red instantly.Over the years, she had heard countless accusations, denials, and contempt, but for the first time, someone told her that her light was worthy of being seen, and her efforts were worthy of being cherished.She threw herself into Lu Wanheng’s arms, and the grievances she had suppressed for many years finally broke out. Her tears wet the other person’s sweater, letting out all the lack of love and low self-esteem brought by her original family.Lu Wanheng just held her tightly, caressed her back again and again, and whispered comforting: “With me in the future, I will make up for the love you lost in the past bit by bit. You deserve all the tenderness and preference in the world.”
From then on, Shen Zhiyi began to slowly let go of her inner guard, learned to accept being loved, and learned to believe that she was worthy of being cherished.
Lu Wanheng will remember all her preferences: raspberry jam should be sugar-free, latte should have half sugar and less ice, she likes to listen to soft music when painting, she will be depressed on cloudy days, and she should remove all shrimp lines when eating seafood.Her tastes, habits, and moods have all been carefully collected by Lu Wanheng and integrated into every daily detail.Early morning breakfast is always her favorite meal, the paints in the studio are always replenished, the clothes for the changing seasons are arranged in advance, and even the revision opinions of her paintings are carefully recorded in notebooks and considered over and over again.
“The “Wately Meaning” series is about to be launched. You are an excellent painter. I will always accompany you and support you. Others may not recognize it, but please do not deny your efforts.” Lu Wanheng held Shen Zhiyi in his arms and wiped her tears with his fingertips: “Don’t care about their evaluation. Your value is never defined by others. To me, you are the best little painter and the person I hold in my heart.”
This was the first time that someone supported her, someone stood in front of her, blocking those hurtful words and affirming her worth.Shen Zhiyi leaned on Lu Wanheng’s chest, listening to the steady heartbeat, and the gap in his heart was filled bit by bit. The loneliness and inferiority that had been entrenched all year round slowly melted away in this firm love.
She began to dare to express her needs, dare to act coquettishly, dare to show vulnerability, and no longer carried all her emotions alone.When the drawing encounters a bottleneck, he will take the initiative to hold Lu Wanheng’s arm for help; he will nestle in the other person’s arms for comfort; occasionally when he loses his temper, he will also look forward to Lu Wanheng’s tolerance and persuasion.And Lu Wanheng always gave her the most abundant emotional value, guided her patiently, was gentle and tolerant, and made her understand that being loved never requires caution or deliberately trying to please.
On the easel of the balcony studio, a new painting “Heart Full” has been added to the “Late Night” series. In the painting, a huddled little person is tightly wrapped in a warm light. The gap behind him is filled with love. The mist in the foggy port turns into gentle wings, protecting the little person as he sleeps peacefully.This is a portrayal of Shen Zhiyi’s inner self, from being lonely and lacking love to being healed by love, from being closed off to opening her heart. Lu Wanheng’s love is like the morning light penetrating through the thick fog in a foggy harbor, illuminating all the dark corners in her heart.
After Lu Wanheng saw this painting, he framed it to the largest size and hung it on the main wall of the living room. It replaced the original “Cold Light” and became the core decoration of the home.”This is the most touching work I have ever seen,” Lu Wanheng kissed the top of her hair. “I have witnessed the whole process of my little painter being slowly healed by love.”
Shen Zhiyi shook his head with a smile and stroked the drawing paper with his fingertips: “It was you who taught me that I deserve to be loved. It was you who made up for the missing warmth from my original family bit by bit. It was you who let me know that it is such a solid feeling to be cherished at the top of my heart.”
She began to take the initiative to share her daily life with Lu Wanheng. Seeing how much Lu Wanheng valued her and the recognition the “Late Night” series received, Lu Wanheng’s close concern and simple words made Shen Zhiyi feel warm in her heart.She knew that even if the emotional pattern of her original family could not be completely changed, she already had enough love and confidence that she no longer needed to seek approval from her parents.
Lu Wanheng was still her exclusive model during the weekend sketching at the pier. She collected polaroid photos one after another, the couple’s book was full of sweet thoughts, and the hand-painted bookmarks still lay safely in the compartment of her wallet.Shen Zhiyi’s posture when writing becomes more and more calm, the inferiority complex in his eyes fades away, and is filled with tenderness and confidence. The mist in the painting is no longer a lonely cold color, but a human firework full of warmth.
Late at night, the two of them cuddled up on the bedside, looking through the records in the couple’s book. From the restraint of first acquaintance, to the sincerity of confession, from the sweetness of living together to the tenderness of healing, every page witnessed Shen Zhiyi’s growth and transformation.Lu Wanheng gently held her hand and rubbed her knuckles with his fingertips: “Do you still feel that you are not worthy of being loved?”
Shen Zhiyi shook his head and buried his head in the crook of her neck. His voice was soft but firm: “No, because of you, the gap in my heart has slowly been filled. I dare to believe in love, dare to accept love, and dare to become a better version of myself.”
“Every day from now on, I will continue to love you, cherish you, and supply you with the warmth you are missing.” Lu Wanheng lowered his head and kissed her. The gentle kiss fell on her forehead, eyebrows, and lips, as if caring for a rare treasure. “What your family of origin owes you, I will use the rest of my life to make up for it. I will let you live in love forever, and never have to suffer loneliness and denial again.”
The lights of Fog Harbor outside the window are bright, the mist on the river floats gently, the lights in the balcony studio are still on, the sketch of “Heart Full” shimmers under the light, and the tassels of the hand-painted bookmarks sway gently in the evening breeze.Shen Zhiyi hugged Lu Wanheng tightly, feeling the warmth and love in her arms. The void in her heart was completely filled. The trauma caused by her original family gradually healed with day after day of cherishment and preference.
She finally understood that the lack of love in her native family was never her original sin, and the appearance of Lu Wanheng was the light sent by God to heal her.This beam of light passed through the thick fog of Fog Harbor, passed through the lonely years, fell in front of her easel, fell on her heart, pulled her out of the abyss of lack of love, and allowed her to learn to love herself, learn to accept love, and learn to believe that she is worthy of all the beauty in the world.
In the days and nights to come, there will be a lover by your side, a paintbrush in your hand, an overflowing love, and a heart that is filled and complete.The “Late Intentions” series is still going on, the couple’s books are still being filled, and the hand-painted bookmarks are still carried close to the body. Lu Wanheng’s preference will accompany Shen Zhiyi through every spring and autumn of the rest of her life, filling her heart’s gaps, making her love last forever, and letting the light of Fog Harbor illuminate her world forever.
Banxia novel, a lot of fun