ABRIWMTHM Chapter 59

Shi Xing raised his head, most of his anger dissipating, but the discomfort in his heart remained unchanged from the beginning.

In fact, the deep sense of helplessness only grew stronger.

Shi Xing pointed out, “Who talks like that? If you say that, wouldn’t it make me seem unreasonable if I get emotional?!”

Shi Xing felt like he was on the verge of a breakdown.

After speaking, he heard a soft chuckle.

Shi Xing was stunned, looking at Chi Yao, who had his head slightly lowered, but the corners of his mouth were indeed turned up.

Shi Xing: “……”

Shi Xing: “Your Highness, my emotions haven’t subsided yet.”

With that emphasized again, his tone was stiff.

Shi Xing felt somewhat self-destructive, thinking that Chi Yao’s reaction was worse than just refusing to admit it, and then they could have an argument. After arguing, he could vent his emotions and would probably feel better…

Would he?

Maybe.

Shi Xing wasn’t sure.

In fact, he didn’t want to get into a quarrel with Chi Yao, but he really felt uncomfortable about all the things kept hidden from him.

Moreover, it was a matter of many small details connecting, making him feel increasingly uncomfortable.

Chi Yao’s voice relaxed, “I know.”

Chi Yao: “I just found it amusing to see you talk so earnestly while holding back.”

Shi Xing: “……”

Chi Yao stated confidently, “You are not someone who is good at exploding in conflict, Xingxing.”

Shi Xing: “…………”

Shi Xing let out a heavy sigh.

He leaned his head against the door, mumbling, “Since you know, why are you joking with me like this…” pausing for a moment, in a fit of emotion, he said, “Do you really think I wouldn’t argue with you?”

Chi Yao briefly lowered his gaze and answered honestly, “I wasn’t able to anticipate all your behaviors, but probably because I’m also like this, that’s why I said so?”

Shi Xing was left speechless.

Indeed, Chi Yao was someone who liked to joke about some small details and didn’t go overboard. Sometimes, if one didn’t know him, the person involved might not even feel it.

Shi Xing exhaled again, feeling annoyed.

The room fell silent for several seconds before Chi Yao spoke again, “If you really want to throw a tantrum, you don’t need to think of so many reasons, nor do you need to be rational about it. Throwing a tantrum itself is not a rational behavior. If you want to find a reasonable motive to get angry, based on my experience dealing with so many people, the more you think about it, the harder it will be to start.”

Chi Yao wasn’t wrong about that.

Shi Xing was defeated, feeling frustrated, “Then forget it, I… am not that kind of person.”

Unless his emotions escalated to an irreconcilable point, Shi Xing indeed found it hard to get angry easily.

With the odd rhythm of conversation where what Chi Yao said made sense yet seemed outrageous, Shi Xing thought that he would probably hold it in until internal injuries developed, and in this rhythm, he wouldn’t find a point to explode emotionally.

“Then no fighting, shall we sit down and talk?”

Chi Yao suggested.

He patted the sofa beside him, “I guess you still have a lot to say.”

Shi Xing: “It feels humiliating to walk over like this, Your Highness.”

He felt that walking over would be admitting defeat.

Chi Yao smiled, “Then I will beg you to come over, don’t be mad at me?”

Chi Yao lowered his posture once again, and under this soft tone, Shi Xing’s anger subsided.

“No need.” Even though the tone was still stiff, he eventually moved over and sat beside Chi Yao on the sofa.

As soon as he was on the sofa, he grabbed a support pillow, curling up at the other end of the long sofa.

Chi Yao suddenly thought of something, “Has your mental thread grown back?”

Getting Shi Xing’s confirmation, Chi Yao continued, “Then you can start healing again recently?”

Shi Xing’s tone was still not good, “It could have been done a few days ago, but I just don’t know how to face you.” After saying that, he deliberately added, “Don’t change the subject, Your Highness.”

Chi Yao waved a white flag, “You can start.”

Shi Xing indeed wasn’t someone who liked to clash with others. Letting him take the lead meant he didn’t even cut to the subject, instead choosing a slightly gentle angle to ease into it, asking about the contract, “Is it true that there is no second Mother Tree in our galaxy?”

“To my knowledge, yes.”

Shi Xing hesitated, “Then… do you know why Blue Star disappeared? Can you tell me?”

Citizens might not know, and there may not be information in textbooks, but the leadership of a country might not be completely unaware.

However, Chi Yao’s response wasn’t what Shi Xing hoped for. Chi Yao shook his head, “The information about Blue Star that all the planets in our galaxy have is the same as what you have learned; it disappeared very suddenly. At that time, the Alliance was discussing the transplanting of the Mother Tree, and it was their diplomat who first discovered it, and then… there was no follow-up.”

“Following that, the Empire became the only planet with the Mother Tree, and on the Blue Star human side, a series of contradictions also broke out with the Alliance afterward.”

Shi Xing knew that the Alliance and the Empire were not on good terms, but he wasn’t sure how they were not good.

He vaguely felt that this was a point he should know. Shi Xing looked at Chi Yao and asked, “Can I ask what the contradiction was? What have been the main conflicts between the Alliance and the Empire?”

There was nothing that couldn’t be said.

“Concerning the Mother Tree, the Alliance once wanted to pull the Empire in. Though they were from different factions, they had fought side by side for a long time back then, so relations had eased quite a bit.”

Shi Xing hadn’t known that, “But in the end, the Empire didn’t join the Alliance, right?”

Chi Yao nodded, “The Alliance demanded the transplant of the Mother Tree, claiming that once the Empire joined, it would be a part of the Alliance, but the Empire has a strict contract with Blue Star, plus the political divisions in the Alliance made it impossible to lure the Empire while fantasizing about splitting the Empire’s benefits, thus, the matter of joining was left unresolved.”

“The main conflict is over the issue of stationed border lines.”

“The capital star of the Empire is located on the edge of the galaxy, and the average mental power of the Empire’s people is the highest in the galaxy. They believe our combat abilities are strong, and due to our unique geographical location, the stability of the border line is crucial for the Empire. The Alliance wants to extend the border lines stationed by the Empire every year, thinking that it would be safer for the internal planets of the galaxy.”

“They are not wrong in their thinking, but why should we sacrifice more for the sake of common peace? Therefore, every time the border line stationed on the small asteroids changes, the Alliance will come to disturb the Empire, resulting in a particularly tricky situation due to the frequent trade interactions within the galaxy.”

After a brief pause, he summarized, “In recent years, the number of star beasts has increased, and mutated star beasts have made it difficult for all the planets, making the border issue a constant point of contention. Moreover, the tree nest has already cultivated numerous therapists, and all therapists are prioritized for the imperial military officers, leaving the Alliance and other planets with no access to medical resources, sharpening the conflict even further.”

Shi Xing seemed to understand.

As for why other planets couldn’t access medical resources, he also knew; there were simply too few therapists to supply even the Empire, and under the circumstances of stationed border lines, the Empire wouldn’t, and couldn’t distribute therapists to the outside.

This exchange lightened the atmosphere, and in a daze, Shi Xing seemed to return to normal, as if there were no conflicts with Chi Yao.

When it came to things he didn’t understand, Chi Yao was just as patient.

But what needed to be said couldn’t be avoided.

Even though he didn’t know how to continue, nor did he know what direction the conversation would ultimately take, Shi Xing still chose to ask, “Your mental sea, why is it shattered? When… when did this happen?”

“Has it always been like this? Can I ask? Is it something that can be talked about?”

Originally expressionless, hearing the last two questions, Chi Yao chuckled, “Of course you can ask.”

After a moment of silence, his voice grew darker, “I can say, it’s just that usually I don’t want to bring it up.”

Seeing Shi Xing’s tense gaze sweep over, Chi Yao revealed a faint smile, “Don’t be nervous. The reluctance to mention it is not really related to the matter itself; I think it’s probably because it brings up my parents.”

Shi Xing felt a bit confused.

He had never heard Chi Yao mention his parents.

Anxiously, he asked, “Is your relationship with them not good?”

Chi Yao laughed again, shaking his head. The atmosphere of their conversation was relaxed and pleasant. Even though he said he didn’t want to bring it up, when he did, Chi Yao was straightforward, “It’s not that it’s not good, it’s just… too good. I tend to not want to recall the past.”

He succinctly laid out the facts.

“Technically speaking, Bi Shu is also my nephew, but he’s my cousin’s son.”

“I’m my parents’ only child.”

“My birth was a mission to take over the Empire. Moreover, since my parents’ mental seas weren’t in great condition because of a previous border hunt, since I can remember, the burden of learning was heavy. However, other than that, my family has never wronged me. They provided me with the best education and a loving home.”

“The injury to my mental sea was an accident; during a border inspection, I encountered a star beast, and at that time, my mental power levels hadn’t stabilized… and it ended up like this.”

“The subsequent events are what you already know.”

That was a remarkably straightforward narrative.

Shi Xing took a moment to digest the information but couldn’t help but comment, “It’s hard to hear you summarize things so briefly.”

Chi Yao paused for a moment but didn’t shy away, lowering his gaze for a brief moment, smiling as he said, “Though the past was nice, it’s all in the past. It’s pointless to keep thinking about it; one should look forward.”

“Don’t you… ever miss it?”

After a pause, Chi Yao’s voice softened, “Maybe, but reminiscing doesn’t really help me. Indulging in the past doesn’t benefit me.”

For a moment, Shi Xing felt the fatigue in Chi Yao.

From every dimension, he was exhausted.

Not only dealing with all kinds of affairs every day, enduring discomfort in his mental sea, but internally, he also had to keep it together.

Moreover, he was acutely aware that no one could share the burden for him.

Whether it was Bi Shu or himself, their involvement only added weight to Chi Yao.

With this thought in mind, Shi Xing felt as if he had no standing to interrogate Chi Yao about anything, even though that wasn’t his initial intent…

The room fell quiet.

As if roles had reversed, this time it was Chi Yao asking, “Now that you know the ins and outs, do you still have feelings?”

Shi Xing didn’t know how to respond.

He remained silent, but Chi Yao added, “Actually, not telling you is also my consideration; it’s…”

Shi Xing interrupted with three words, “I know.”

Chi Yao was taken aback.

Shi Xing: “Your Highness, I can still think clearly about these matters over the past two days.”

Shi Xing really understood what he was thinking.

Unconsciously, his tone began to turn sour again, “There are only a few reasons: I’m still in my maturity period, I don’t want the pressure and burden of treatment; the shattered mental sea is no small matter, I… I don’t want to make you worry too much; and if I were to keep talking, I would probably still face pressure from the Elders Council and the Senate in the future, under such circumstances, you wouldn’t want to tell me in advance what I might face, fearing that I wouldn’t be able to handle it while also being overwhelmed by the pressure.”

Chi Yao rarely fell silent.

After a while, he acknowledged, “You’re right in your thoughts.”

He exhaled lightly, abruptly stating, “You don’t need to worry too much; since you’re matched with me, I have already thought out the path ahead. Bi Shu is progressing rapidly, and you two are compatible in personality. If… then you both should follow my arrangements…”

There was nothing particularly noteworthy in the preceding context, but when Chi Yao suddenly dropped that line, as Shi Xing finally processed what his notion of “worry” referred to, his emotions suddenly collapsed.

“I’m not worried! My emotions aren’t because of that!!”

“I…”

A wave of despair washed over him as Shi Xing buried his face in the pillow, mumbling, “Please don’t say that, I will get angry.”

Chi Yao fell silent for a moment before gently saying, “But that’s very realistic…”

“I really am angry!”

Shi Xing’s voice surged suddenly, interrupting Chi Yao once more.

Chi Yao opened his mouth but was at a loss for words. After a moment, he could only utter three pale words, “Don’t be angry.”

“It’s too late.” Shi Xing felt annoyed.

What clamored more tumultuously within him than annoyance was pain.

It was an uncontrollable anguish accompanied by the mere thought of the possible results of a shattered mental sea.

The core of Chi Yao’s words was essentially a final warning.

“What if” something happened, they both knew what that meant. If one day the contract no longer restrained the mental sea, the mental power that could cause such serious harm to the mental sea, after it broke down, would what that did to the body… Shi Xing had already witnessed it once before…

That was before he returned when he encountered Chi Yao.

Upon seeing him again, not knowing if it was instinct or some other reason, his mind unconsciously ignored Chi Yao’s condition at that time. But after dreaming about it yesterday, Shi Xing remembered clearly, and he confirmed that at that time, the Prince would probably have not had much time left either.

How deteriorated could someone’s body be to want to see more of the scenery outside?

No one understood better than Shi Xing.

And because of this, knowing the possible future, he didn’t know how to face Chi Yao these past couple of days.

He couldn’t accept it.

Shi Xing’s voice was hoarse, “I’ve never worried. Do you think that knowing the true state of your mental sea would make my first reaction be about losing your protection, and how am I supposed to handle myself? Do you see me so selfish in your eyes?”

Chi Yao: “But these are things I have to consider. You can not worry, but I cannot help but plan.”

Shi Xing’s emotions completely crumbled, defiantly stating, “Can we not talk about this? If I really can’t heal you, I will come and ask regardless of whether you say anything or not!”

Feeling Shi Xing’s resistance, Chi Yao fell silent.

Shi Xing buried his face deep into the pillow, finding solace in the darkness.

He knew he shouldn’t be angry…

He also knew that everything that Chi Yao did was for his own good…

But, but who wants this kind of goodwill for him?!

The mere thought of being unable to heal Chi Yao was unbearable for him, completely, utterly inacceptable.

“Are you… okay?” After a long time, Chi Yao tentatively asked.

“Not good, I’m angry.” While saying that, his voice was riddled with nasal tones.

Shi Xing once again recalled the question Tan Bai Shan had asked him before leaving the Northern Territory.

—“I’m actually quite curious about how you view the Emperor now, the Emperor of the Empire, your superior, family, or perhaps, your partner and lover?”

Now he understood why Tan Bai Shan would ask him that.

Because with every identity confronted with the possibility of losing Chi Yao, the feelings experienced were different.

And the way he was reacting now, the emotions he could not control…

Chi Yao sighed, “Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?”

Shi Xing: “You should recover your mental sea now.”

Knowing that Shi Xing was throwing a tantrum, Chi Yao asked him kindly, “Can you change it up?”

Shi Xing: “You should have told me this matter from the start, with no concealment.”

Returning to the past would be nice, but that was impossible.

Chi Yao was utterly speechless.

Just as Shi Xing felt that Chi Yao had given up and would no longer speak, his pillow was suddenly yanked away, and as his eyes adjusted to the brightness, it went dark again.

Chi Yao came over and hugged him.

His chin rested against Shi Xing’s forehead, his warm breath brushed against his skin, and he lightly sighed, “Xingxing, don’t feel bad.”

Shi Xing’s eyes became moist.

Chi Yao placed a kiss on the corner of Shi Xing’s brow. The movement was gentle, but as Shi Xing realized what that soft touch meant, he froze entirely.

Chi Yao’s voice was filled with helplessness, “I didn’t want to tell you this either, nor do I want to see you like this.”

Too many people suffered for the longevity of Chi Yao’s life, and he didn’t want Shi Xing to become one of them.

Shi Xing felt that his emotions could no longer be salvaged, crumbling completely, unable to control himself.

Chi Yao kissed him again.

Accompanied by his uncontrollable emotions, Shi Xing distinctly felt that within this contact, his heart was uncontrollably racing.

And Shi Xing dared not think about the implications of it all.