DF Chapter 44

Chapter 44: I’m Sorry, I Can’t Do It

Sheng Jia and Song Ji’an planned to fly back to Jingjiang with the other three on Sunday.

That night, after Sheng Jia and Song Ji’an returned to the hotel from the auction, Xu Lijing and the others had already finished their leisurely stroll and returned to the hotel, waiting for them to have barbecue skewers together.

Luo Ling’s barbecue skewers were superb. This time, everyone had received generous rewards, which was a considerable sum of money for high school students. Even Xu Lijing, whose parents only transferred money to her card every month, felt that the reward for this two-and-a-half-day business trip was too generous. In fact, they hadn’t played a significant role in the process, but rather learned a lot of knowledge from Song Ji’an.

Feeling a little ashamed to receive such a sum, the group simply bought a large table of midnight snacks and waited for Sheng Jia and Song Ji’an to return and feast together.

For Sheng Jia and Song Ji’an, this was like directly pulling them from the dizzying, extravagant life floating in the clouds back to the warmth and liveliness of everyday life, finally giving them a sense of being grounded.

“You’re back?” Su Zhaolin raised a skewer and joked, “You two are dressed like secret agents on a mission, so cool!”

“Now can our agents come and enjoy the post-mission dinner?” Xu Lijing also joked.

Song Ji’an, exhausted, smiled. She pulled Sheng Jia to sit in the empty seats that the three had specially left for them, like two drops of water naturally merging into the ocean. She casually tied up her hair and complained, “The two agents just attended a meaningless dinner tonight, and also taught a self-righteous idiot a lesson. This little gathering is the most relaxing.”

Song Yi blinked upon hearing this, “Did you argue with someone?”

“No, it was a unilateral crushing, and we politely asked the other party to leave the banquet.” Song Ji’an opened a can of beer and took a hearty sip, “Compared to champagne, beer is more enjoyable.”

Seeing this, Su Zhaolin quickly shook Song Ji’an, “Don’t keep us in suspense, tell us quickly what happened.”

So Song Ji’an vividly described how she had severely lectured Li Mingliang at the auction. Sheng Jia probably hadn’t eaten dinner and didn’t like the snacks at the auction. After returning to the hotel, she didn’t say a word and buried herself in eating.

Su Zhaolin and the others were thrilled to hear this, and they enthusiastically raised their glasses again. Xu Lijing even poked Sheng Jia’s waist with her elbow, “Sheng Jia, join us. Didn’t they feed you at your dinner? Look how hungry our Sheng Jia is.”

Sheng Jia put down the bamboo skewer in her hand and opened a bottle of beer, silently complaining, “They really didn’t feed us much.”

Then she added, “And the snacks at the banquet weren’t very tasty.”

“Because tonight’s auction wasn’t held around mealtimes, maybe they would have prepared something delicious if it were held around mealtimes—” Song Ji’an said, paused, and then smiled, “Delicious cookies and desserts.”

“Ah?” Xu Lijing widened her eyes upon hearing this, “Can you get full on that?”

“No,” Song Ji’an shook her head, “Because they want to ensure everyone’s decorum, they won’t serve anything that would ruin makeup or clothes. The main task of such banquets is socializing, not eating.”

Song Yi patted Xu Lijing on the shoulder and said in a deep voice, “Luckily we didn’t go, or we would have been so hungry that our front chest would have stuck to our back.”

Su Zhaolin nodded in agreement, saying emotionally, “Yeah, you don’t know how much good food we ate tonight. We even went out for a barbecue before coming back. The meat was so fragrant that our mouths were watering, especially the Wagyu beef, it was so tender that our mouths were numb. Later, we went to the food street. You don’t know, you could smell the fragrance from 500 meters away in that night market, we ate…”

“Stop talking,” Sheng Jia rarely interrupted them. She continued to complain expressionlessly, “The more you talk, the hungrier I get.”

The air was silent for a moment, and then everyone burst into laughter. Song Ji’an shook her head helplessly, “I knew you were saying that just to see me and Sheng Jia make a fool of ourselves. Congratulations, you succeeded. This boring banquet is not as interesting as you guys.”

After saying that, she raised her beer can and touched Sheng Jia’s can, “Let’s eat all of these tonight, and not leave a single bit for these gloating people.”

The room was filled with laughter. Song Ji’an’s room was a three-bedroom luxury suite. She, Sheng Jia, and Su Zhaolin lived together in it, but tonight everyone was a little tipsy. This belated little celebration party for the five of them made them lie haphazardly on the plush carpet and snore in the deep night, only Sheng Jia remained somewhat sober.

She looked up at the huge floor-to-ceiling window in the living room. This was the best hotel in Luo Ling, and this floor could overlook the city that was still brightly lit even in the deep night.

Sheng Jia’s shadow was vaguely reflected on the floor-to-ceiling window. She stumbled over and moved a chair over, silently admiring the night view.

At three o’clock in the morning, there was hardly anyone on the streets. This floor couldn’t hear any noise from outside the window. She was a little lost in thought, and after a long time, she took out the business card that Fu Minglang had given her from the pocket of the suit that had been hanging on her arm.

Black background with gold lettering, extremely hard texture, with Fu Minglang’s own name handwritten on it, written with a fountain pen dipped in gold ink, and even with a faint scent of perfume.

Sheng Jia held it in her palm and took out her mobile phone to search for the other party’s name.

Soon, Fu Minglang’s information appeared on the search page. It had a rich resume, even surpassing Song Ningqiu, whose resume was unshakable in her heart. It took more than ten pages to scroll to the bottom of the encyclopedia.

She scrolled back to the top again and started reading from the beginning, carefully reading the legendary woman’s life, from taking over the family business at the age of sixteen, to handing over the group to a professional manager at the age of thirty and living a life away from home. Sheng Jia spent a whole hour reading this resume, gaining a deeper understanding of Fu Minglang, and incidentally saved the few remaining photos of Fu Minglang on it, including photos from her youth, her old age, and group photos with several friends.

Sheng Jia was not accustomed to fighting unprepared battles. Since she suspected that Fu Minglang’s purpose in giving her the business card was not simple, she had to learn more about the other party during this time. She had a hunch that she would have a day to find the other party.

“What are you doing?”

The sudden voice made Sheng Jia subconsciously put her phone and business card back into her pocket. At some point, Song Ji’an was standing behind her with a head full of messy hair.

Sheng Jia met her gaze, but Song Ji’an’s eyes were full of confusion after being drunk. She took two more steps forward and leaned against the edge of Sheng Jia’s chair, seemingly also looking at the night view outside the window.

“Song Ji’an,” Sheng Jia suddenly called her name.

Song Ji’an lowered her head in confusion, “Are you calling me?”

“Yes.” Sheng Jia looked at her deeply, “You’re drunk.”

“I shouldn’t be,” Song Ji’an tilted her head, but contrary to what she said, her legs went weak and she fell to the carpet. After falling to the ground, she couldn’t help but look around, seriously saying to Sheng Jia, “It seems like something just bit my knee.”

Now she had to look up at Sheng Jia.

Sheng Jia didn’t move. She found that Song Ji’an was really drunk, silly and cute when drunk, without any of the sharpness she had when sober.

She also didn’t realize that in this dim room, Sheng Jia was bending over and getting closer to her.

By the time she realized it, Sheng Jia’s face was already close at hand. She was startled and subconsciously wanted to step back, but Sheng Jia grabbed her shoulders, finally feeling the unusualness of the atmosphere at this moment.

Drunk, she couldn’t see what was surging in Sheng Jia’s eyes. After struggling twice without being able to break free, she became a little angry, raising her chin and saying, “I don’t like you grabbing me like this.”

Sheng Jia laughed.

Her laugh made Song Ji’an feel inexplicable, but for some reason, the roots of her ears began to turn red, “What are you laughing at?”

“Song Ji’an, you’ve been protected by your mother since you were a child, right?” Sheng Jia asked.

Mentioning her mother, Song Ji’an’s eyes lit up slightly. She said with a slightly proud expression, “My mother didn’t just protect me blindly. I’ve been very capable on my own since I was a child.”

“No, she’s protecting you, so you rarely face the malice of others directly,” Sheng Jia didn’t give her time to refute, and said in a low voice, “Just like now.”

Song Ji’an was slightly stunned. Only then did she realize that the unsettling thing surging in Sheng Jia’s eyes was called malice.

“Do you hate me?” Song Ji’an didn’t think of who the person in front of her was, or why she would say this, but her heart couldn’t help but twitch. Alcohol surged into her limbs, as if even her emotional management ability had been paralyzed. She met Sheng Jia’s gaze, and faced with such a strong malice in the girl’s eyes, her eyes turned red.

“I don’t hate you,” Sheng Jia stated calmly.

In the dead of night, everyone was drunk, even Song Ji’an was drunk, only she was half-drunk and half-awake, and could no longer suppress the malice buried deep in her heart towards Song Ji’an.

Only Sheng Jia at this moment could no longer control the resentment in her heart.

Someone was enjoying a life that should have belonged to her, living a life she craved, possessing the care she had been pursuing for eighteen years, and wielding the power that her family background gave her.

But what was Song Ji’an saying? She didn’t like power, she liked fairness and justice.

It was so ridiculous.

No one knew how much she wanted to laugh out loud and ridicule Song Ji’an’s naivety in pursuing fairness when she heard those words.

But later she realized that it was right to pursue fairness and justice at this age. Even most of her classmates believed in truth and fairness. They were naive and carefree, and she herself was the outlier.

She had countless times wanted to expose the truth, but her cautious nature made her suppress these desires time and time again. She couldn’t accept Song Ningqiu acknowledging her in the future and bringing Song Ji’an to welcome her, she couldn’t imagine how she could coexist peacefully with Song Ji’an after the truth was exposed, and she was even less confident that she could surpass Song Ji’an’s position in Song Ningqiu’s heart by virtue of her blood relationship.

Before solving these problems, she would never reveal everything.

These repressions turned into malice, even if Song Ji’an was so innocent, it allowed the malice to find a chance to break through the shackles in the deep night, or perhaps Song Ji’an’s innocence was also the power that allowed the malice to break through the cage.

Why did it seem like only she was guilty in this world, only she was a villain.

“Then why are you looking at me like this,” Song Ji’an murmured, “I don’t like this kind of gaze.”

Saying that, she paused slightly, “You’re crying.”

Sheng Jia expressionlessly wiped away the tears that overflowed from the corners of her eyes, bent down and took the initiative to hug Song Ji’an’s warm body. She stroked the other party’s neck, her fingertips cold, causing Song Ji’an to shrink her neck instinctively and want to retreat.

This time, Sheng Jia’s grip was even stronger, holding her tightly, leaving no room for struggle. She said extremely lightly and slowly, “Sometimes I really hate you.”

“I’m sorry.”

— How deep my hatred for you is, that’s how deep my apology is.

Even in a half-drunk and half-awake state, Sheng Jia didn’t say these words buried deep in her heart.

Song Ji’an was hugged tightly by her, her chin resting on Sheng Jia’s shoulder, turning from confusion to helplessness, and finally only smiling and saying, “Then if you start liking me from this moment, I’ll forgive you.”

The opposite of hate is like, sorry is an apology, that needs to be forgiven.

The drunken Song Ji’an’s thinking was simple to the extreme.

She waited and waited, wanting to wait for Sheng Jia to answer, but in the end, she only lay in her arms and fell asleep with the help of alcohol.

Sheng Jia stared at the girls embracing tightly in the floor-to-ceiling window, and after a long time, she said in a low voice, “I’m sorry, I can’t do it.”

As soon as her voice fell, a WeChat friend request notification sounded.