DF Chapter 23

Chapter 23 Even if it’s a bit deformed, she can’t help but feel envious.

Chapter 23 Even if it’s a bit deformed, she can’t help but feel envious.

“I don’t want to go home.”

This was the first time Su Zhaolin said no to her sister.

After saying it, she felt a little nervous.

She looked up, staring intently at the woman in the car window, her palms sweating.

But the woman in the car didn’t show any anger. She was as calm as ever, looking at her. The only additional emotion was perhaps surprise.

A hand grasped Su Zhaolin’s trembling palm. She was slightly stunned. Xu Lijing behind her squeezed her hand and quickly let go, only whispering, “Su Zhaolin, don’t be nervous.”

They might find it hard to understand why Su Zhaolin would be nervous just from saying such a sentence, but that didn’t stop them from encouraging and supporting this young girl they had only known for a short time.

Nervousness and fear wouldn’t solve the problem. She and her sister clearly had a strange dynamic.

Being stared at by an adult for so long would always make a teenager feel timid and guilty. But at this moment, perhaps because she had company by her side, the courage in Su Zhaolin’s heart welled up like water from a spring.

“Sister, I don’t want to go home right now,” she repeated.

She faced off against her sister. After what felt like a long time, the woman across from her lowered her eyes and slowly said, “Call me before nine o’clock. I’ll come pick you up.”

“Really?” Su Zhaolin’s eyes immediately lit up. She couldn’t believe her sister would agree.

She subconsciously took two steps forward, raised her hand, wanting to reach across the car window and hug her sister’s neck, but in the end, she only clung to the car window, her eyes red, unsure whether from nervousness or joy, and said seriously, “I will definitely call you before nine o’clock.”

Her sister hesitated for a moment before reaching out and touching her head.

The car window went up, and the sedan quickly drove away. Su Zhaolin turned around and saw ten eyes staring at her, and she bit her lip a little embarrassedly.

“What’s wrong?” she asked cautiously.

Zhou Yijia stroked her chin and slowly said, “Is that the parent you argued with? She seems pretty easy to talk to.”

She spoke what was on everyone’s mind.

Looking at Su Zhaolin, they had thought her parent would be the controlling type, managing her in every aspect, which would explain her personality where she even felt ashamed to refuse.

But in reality, the other party seemed overly easygoing at the moment.

“She’s my sister,” Su Zhaolin explained. “I’m actually a bit surprised. She seems suddenly very agreeable today.”

The group didn’t plan to stand in front of the restaurant in the cold wind. This matter clearly had a lot of inside information, and Su Zhaolin also looked confused and wanted to confide, so they changed locations and went to Greenery Cafe.

The manager wasn’t there. Sheng Jia was handing over with another employee. Tonight was rare in that there weren’t many people, and the cafe could even be considered their little world.

This time Xu Lijing wasn’t allowed to pay. After all, Xu Lijing had been treating them to drinks for almost a whole week. Song Ji’an felt it wasn’t necessary to let her bleed so much, so this time she paid instead.

It was Su Zhaolin’s first time seeing the ice cream here, and she was amazed for a while before digging in.

When she finally finished eating, she slowly said, “Actually, the reason I argued with my sister today is because she thought I was dating.”

“Huh?” The others looked up.

Dating was actually quite common in school, happening secretly, but as long as it didn’t affect grades and become too obvious, most teachers would turn a blind eye.

Of course, this kind of gossip, if not the whole grade, would at least be known by the surrounding classes. Sheng Jia and Song Ji’an’s class was next to Class Two, and they had never heard of this.

“She said she found a love letter in my drawer and said my recent behavior has been very abnormal. She started being even stricter with me two weeks ago.”

Sheng Jia calculated the time. Two weeks ago was when they saw Su Zhaolin and her sister at the Sky Restaurant.

“Have you started dating?” Xu Lijing asked curiously.

Su Zhaolin frowned. “Of course not. I’m almost dying from studying every day. Where would I have time to date?”

“She started managing my coming and going to school every day, demanding that I go home after school, and requiring me to call her three times a day to report. Otherwise, she would call me crazily. I really couldn’t take it anymore. But what made me the most upset was when the monthly exam results came out a few days ago, and my ranking dropped to third place. She suspected it was because I was dating, which led to a drop in my grades. Today, after the monthly exam summary, I received a bonus, and she went to see Teacher Fang. That’s why I argued with her on the spot.”

A suffocating two weeks. Just hearing Su Zhaolin mention it, they could feel the suffocation and discomfort. Especially for someone like Song Ji’an, whose mother had always respected her and whose family life was very relaxed, she felt even more uncomfortable after listening.

“I’m actually very curious why she let me go out so easily today.”

She rested her chin on the table, disbelieving. “I originally thought that if I said those words, she might get out of the car and have a big fight with me.”

“But you still said it,” Song Ji’an put her face on her arm and looked at her. “Haven’t you ever argued with your sister before?”

“No,” she shook her head. “My… my family situation is a bit complicated. I’ve been raised by my sister since I was little. She’s been very attentive to me, working alone to raise me. Most of her focus in life is on me.”

“She’s very tired and works hard. I don’t want to argue with her.”

Su Zhaolin pursed her lips. “Since I was little, I haven’t really wanted to reject her requests. I want to be sensible. Whatever she says, I try to do it, but I didn’t expect that I still couldn’t help but rebel against her when I grew up.”

Her sister’s kindness and anxiety had reached a level that terrified her.

Terrified to the point that she could no longer endure it today. It wasn’t because of Song Ji’an and the others’ words that she learned to refuse, but because there was already a ball of stifled fire in her heart with nowhere to express it. Today, after meeting them, a faint spark ignited everything, turning into a raging fire that supported her to say what was on her mind.

Of course, her sister’s sudden relaxation of control over her didn’t make her relax. Aside from the initial surprise, now she was a bit worried, afraid that this was the calm before the storm.

After all, her sister never liked to argue loudly in public. The last time she and her sister went to the Sky Restaurant, her sister asked her about dating without any warning, and after the two almost argued, her sister’s first reaction was to leave quickly.

“Have you looked at your phone?” Sheng Jia suddenly said, “You argued at the school gate today. There should be a lot of people discussing it. Haven’t your classmates sent you anything?”

Su Zhaolin shook her head. She hadn’t looked at her phone since meeting them. Now, after turning it on, in addition to missed calls from her sister, WeChat messages were also stacked to 99+, of course, most of them were messages from the public accounts and micro-businesses she followed.

Their class group was very quiet. No one was discussing her, but a few of her classmates had sent her some messages.

— Class monitor, Teacher Fang has asked your sister to go to the office. I saw her crying.

— She stayed in the office for half an hour before coming out, but your sister looked calm when she came out, not like she was angry.

— She left, and Teacher Fang went back to the classroom and looked at those of us who stayed for evening self-study, sighed, and left.

Only these three messages were useful. She passed the messages to the others, not caring much. Six heads huddled together, and no one spoke for a moment.

“It looks like Teacher Fang must have said something to your sister.”

Zhang Jing said, “Teacher Fang is old and definitely a master at doing ideological work. Her home is in the staff residential area near my house, and she’s also the head of the residential committee.”

“Huh? When did that happen?” Su Zhaolin raised her head blankly. How did she not know that Teacher Fang had this skill?

“Hey, it’s mainly because my grandma is also in the management of the residential committee. She told me when she came back,” Zhang Jing replied. “Teacher Fang joined the residential committee in recent years. It’s said that she used to work in the Women’s Federation. Even after becoming a teacher, she still worked part-time in the Women’s Federation’s mediation group. Later, when the old residential committee head moved away, she passed the heavy burden to her. I heard that she’s especially good at mediating disputes. In the past two or three years, she’s helped several old women in the neighborhood who were being bullied after working like cows and horses for the old men get divorced.”

“In short, Teacher Fang is good at advising people to break up,” Xu Lijing helped her summarize.

Su Zhaolin didn’t know what she was thinking about, her face turned pale. “Then Teacher Fang wouldn’t also advise my sister to break up with me, oh no, to not care about me anymore.”

After saying that, she realized that Teacher Fang had been her homeroom teacher for two years. How could she not know that Teacher Fang was such a good person?

“Why don’t you just go ask your sister tonight?” Song Ji’an said, “Some things are best to be said openly.”

Su Zhaolin showed a bit of embarrassment on her face. She and her sister had become like this because they lacked communication. Having a mouth was indeed a good thing, but unfortunately, she and her sister didn’t have it in the past.

It was indeed difficult to have someone who only listened and someone who only gave orders communicate, and just thinking about talking to her sister face-to-face about her feelings made her a little embarrassed and ashamed, and she subconsciously wanted to escape.

But Su Zhaolin still agreed with the others’ views. She nodded. “Then I’ll go ask her tonight.”

Perhaps it was Song Ji’an and the others’ attitude that encouraged her, causing her to make this decision.

The others didn’t express too many opinions on this matter. This was something that the person involved had to think about clearly. One of the two people had to back down. Perhaps Su Zhaolin’s sister had figured something out today and was preparing to be the one to back down.

Their topic quickly shifted to other things. Song Ji’an even invited Su Zhaolin to participate in the marathon together, but Su Zhaolin refused.

Her physical strength wasn’t good, and she also had a bit of a respiratory illness. She probably couldn’t last running a marathon, but she could be a supporter, find a support point to deliver water. The school would definitely organize a support group, and she could try to apply to be the captain of the support team.

The longer she stayed with Sheng Jia and them, the more comfortable she felt. This was a kind of comfort she had never felt before, studying and chatting at the same time, accompanied by the soft music in the cafe. Time passed by unnoticed.

Usually, nine o’clock was about the time they dispersed. The black sedan that said it was coming to pick up Su Zhaolin arrived as scheduled, and Su Zhaolin smiled and said goodbye to Sheng Jia and them, then got into the car calmly.

After Xu Lijing and the others also left, only Sheng Jia and Song Ji’an were left in the cafe.

During this time, Song Ji’an always waited for her to get off work and accompanied her home.

At first, Sheng Jia had refused, but Song Ji’an’s decisions were rarely swayed by anyone. She sat in the cafe, and there was no way Sheng Jia could chase her away, so she gradually let her do as she pleased.

After they cleaned up everything, most of the shops on this street had already closed. Looking around, there were only a few shops with a few amber-colored lights.

Today Song Ji’an didn’t ride her little scooter, but had contacted Auntie Liu early on. She pulled Sheng Jia to wait at the bus stop in front of the door.

When there were a lot of people just now, the cafe was noisy, but now that everyone had left, it felt a bit quiet instead.

Only half of the moon was visible overhead, but it was very bright. It was still humid and hot outside, and even the occasional breeze felt stuffy.

From time to time, a few late-returning Sanzhong students walked past the two of them. They were mostly doing their own things, some reciting textbooks, some chatting, and a few loners, walking in the corner accompanied by the moonlight, striding forward.

Song Ji’an rested her elbow on her knee, propped her chin up with her hand, and quietly observed. After a while, she gently hummed a song.

There weren’t many words, but the tune was very pleasant. Accompanied by her upbeat humming, the whole song felt extremely cheerful.

“You seem a bit unhappy today,” Song Ji’an said suddenly.

Sheng Jia, who was sitting next to her, didn’t say anything.

“When Su Zhaolin mentioned her sister, you seemed a bit unhappy.”

“How can you pinpoint my unhappiness to such a precise degree?” Sheng Jia’s fingertip landed on her knee, and she couldn’t help but rub it.

Because my peripheral vision is always focused on you.

Song Ji’an said secretly in her heart.

These days, Song Ji’an had become very accustomed to capturing Sheng Jia’s emotions. It wasn’t that she didn’t have a desire for control. Her desire for control was to be able to understand the emotions of everyone around her at all times. Xu Lijing and them wrote everything on their faces, and she could know without even having to feel carefully.

Only Sheng Jia, if she didn’t carefully capture and sense, she would know nothing about Sheng Jia’s emotions.

She also couldn’t know what Sheng Jia liked or disliked, and might do things she hated without knowing it.

But she didn’t say that. She only raised her chin and smiled, her eyebrows curving. “Of course, I’m very good at it. None of your little emotions can escape my eyes.”

“Is that so? Then how do you think I’m feeling right now?”

Sheng Jia turned her head to look at her.

Her inky pupils instantly crashed into Song Ji’an’s eyes. She was slightly stunned, then put away her smile and said seriously, “You also don’t seem too happy. Is it because you think I’m prying into your emotions?”

“No,” Sheng Jia’s eyes reflected Song Ji’an’s figure, a small one completely focused. She said softly, “It’s because I think I’m ridiculous.”

“Huh?” Song Ji’an couldn’t understand what she meant.

But Sheng Jia didn’t want to talk anymore.

She looked up at the end of the long street, where a car was slowly approaching.

She really thought she was ridiculous.

Ridiculous to the point that even Su Zhaolin could become an object of her brief envy.

Because she sensed the intense, almost suffocating love that Su Zhaolin’s sister had for her, the dedication and care, the concessions made for love.

Even if it’s a bit deformed, she still couldn’t help but feel envious.

Envious of this kind of love that could be obtained without having to give anything in return.

How ridiculous.

Sheng Jia was self-deprecating, she couldn’t suppress her heart, the things beating in her chest, these days were rekindling, evoking her childhood panic and helplessness.

Because she was a child who had failed to seek love, she had hardly felt the love of her family.

She had once painfully begged Sheng Huaiying to look at her more, to call her mom, but in the end, she was pushed away harshly, and her lower back hit the corner of the table.

Later, when Sheng Huaiying and Wang Jian argued, she was stuffed into the room by Sheng Huaiying and the door was locked. She screamed while leaning against the door, her childish voice cursing Wang Jian harshly, calling for her mother.

Her door was also being hit. She had heard Sheng Huaiying desperately hugging Wang Jian’s leg, cursing him as a beast, even hitting her own daughter. The bastard couldn’t open Sheng Jia’s door, and finally left cursing.

When the sound of footsteps left, her door clicked open, and she scrambled out, hoarsely hugging Sheng Huaiying, wanting to touch her swollen forehead, to tell her not to be afraid.

Then Sheng Jia would be pushed away by her fiercely.

Sheng Huaiying’s love for her was always aloof and elusive, hot and cold. Children weren’t puppies. After being disappointed too many times, their hearts grew cold.

Feeling Sheng Huaiying’s love when she was little was like looking for candy in broken glass. She could swallow the candy and the glass together, but later found that it hurt too much, so she gave up.

She and Sheng Huaiying were like two hyenas with a glossy surface, barely surviving in secret, sometimes licking each other’s wounds, but most of the time facing each other indifferently. They had gotten used to it after so many years.

When she heard how Su Zhaolin’s sister treated her, she saw the indifference in Xu Lijing’s eyes, the disbelief in Song Ji’an’s eyes, but she didn’t dare let them see the envy in her eyes.

She was thinking at the time, if she were Su Zhaolin, perhaps she would enjoy this almost suffocating love.

Then she suddenly woke up.

But that moment’s emotion was still captured by Song Ji’an.

“Sheng Jia, you don’t seem to have ever told me about your family,” Song Ji’an’s voice interrupted her thoughts.

Sheng Jia asked expressionlessly, “What do you want to know?”

“I want to understand you a little more. Aren’t we friends?” Song Ji’an asked, “Of course, it’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it.”

Song Ji’an was ridiculously perceptive. She could even feel that Sheng Jia’s unhappiness was because of her family.

But was it the right time?

Sheng Jia thought silently in her heart.

It wasn’t the right time to let Song Ji’an know what her family was like.

She usually smiled so brightly and confidently, and the way she frowned slightly now was a bit unaccustomed.

Based on Song Ji’an’s empathy, Sheng Jia could even imagine her reaction after knowing her life trajectory.

She would probably be hugging her and comforting her while her eyes were red, and might even say a few apologies, and from then on would care for her even more and stay by her side for longer as company.

Sheng Jia curled her lips mockingly, not knowing whether she was laughing at her understanding of Song Ji’an, or laughing at Song Ji’an’s naivety.

Her care might be heartwarming to anyone else in this world, having someone who would always pay attention to your mood, provide emotional support at the right time, and even provide real help that took care of your dignity. This kind of friend was rare.

But Sheng Jia wasn’t included in anyone else.

She couldn’t accept her kindness with a normal heart.

The two people’s conversation ended there that night. After Auntie Liu arrived, she was already familiar enough to greet Sheng Jia and then let the two children get in the car quickly so they wouldn’t get hot.

The car was prepared with chilled juice. Sheng Jia and Song Ji’an didn’t say anything, only quietly leaning on the back seat and drinking it.

Auntie Liu thought they were sleepy, and quickly turned down the air conditioner temperature. “If you’re tired, take a nap.”

With her saying that, Sheng Jia could justifiably close her eyes and pretend to be asleep until the car arrived at the gate of her neighborhood.

Song Ji’an, who had been silent all along, looked at her through the car window, opened her mouth, but in the end didn’t say the usual good night.

She could feel Sheng Jia’s more unhappy emotions after she asked about her family situation.

She was perhaps a little anxious, and now she didn’t know what to say for a rare moment.

But Sheng Jia didn’t leave. After closing the car door, she leaned over and stood by the car window and knocked on the glass.

Seeing this, Song Ji’an rolled down the car window and asked her, “Is there anything else?”

“Song Ji’an, good night.”

After Sheng Jia said these words, she turned and left, leaving Song Ji’an in the car in a daze for a while, her heart beating wildly.

Her listless expression just now instantly rejuvenated.

This was the first time Sheng Jia had taken the initiative to say good night to her.

It felt too novel.

She widened her eyes, staring at Sheng Jia’s figure gradually disappearing into the darkness, covering her mouth and laughing.

Turns out it wasn’t just her who could feel Sheng Jia’s emotions, Sheng Jia could also feel her emotions.

Auntie Liu looked at her ridiculous expression in the mirror, clicking her tongue in wonder. “I haven’t seen you get along with anyone else so well usually.”

Song Ji’an rolled up the car window, leaned back in the car, and finally had the mind to open another drink. “Because no one else is as special as Sheng Jia. Like a difficult topic about how to get along with people, even a little progress is enough to make me happy for a long time.”

“Did you two argue today?” Even Auntie Liu could see the unusual atmosphere in the car.

“No,” with Sheng Jia’s temper, she didn’t look like someone who could argue with people. “Maybe I was too forward. I thought we were familiar enough to ask about her family. But it might be some taboo she doesn’t want to talk about. It was my fault today.”

For someone like Sheng Jia, to get into her heart, you have to take it slow.

The more energy and emotion Song Ji’an put into Sheng Jia, the more she wanted to get equal friendship from her.

This was the greedy attribute that everyone had, but Song Ji’an’s advantage was that she could control her heart and behavior. She always believed that her and Sheng Jia’s friendship would last forever.

Auntie Liu hesitated, wanting to remind Song Ji’an that treating getting someone’s friendship as a topic might be a bit utilitarian, which would make her pure emotions turn into a bargaining chip in her heart. There didn’t need to be too many routines in the interactions between people, and there was no need to divide them into several stages at all. It should be a natural emotion.

But when it came to close friends, Song Ji’an actually didn’t have any very close friends in the past. In her original school, even if she tried her best to resist the hierarchy there, she was still inevitably affected by it.

It was very easy for her to get someone’s friendship. She would also make a plan like this, probing a little to wait for the other person’s response before making a corresponding reaction.

It was for this reason that Song Ningqiu transferred her school urgently.

She hoped that her daughter could live in a more relaxed environment, learn how to make friends properly, and enjoy her rare youth like an ordinary seventeen-year-old girl.

But some things, no matter how many times adults say them, they might not be able to get the children to listen, let alone a child like Song Ji’an who looked soft on the surface, but was actually very stubborn at heart. For her, the best way to learn might be to run into a brick wall.

If one day her sincerely paid friendship was misunderstood because she was dividing the process step by step in her heart, perhaps she would feel pain and find that her way of making friends was wrong.

Auntie Liu understood her better than anyone.

Compared to the original private high school, she had absolutely put in twelve times the sincerity to Sheng Jia, and even Xu Lijing and these classmates, but she still found it difficult to change the habits she had cultivated.

They weren’t afraid of Song Ji’an getting hurt, but they were worried about Song Ji’an getting hurt.

Auntie Liu glanced at the back seat and saw Song Ji’an, who had started mindlessly browsing her phone again, and even sent Sheng Jia a few voice messages. She sighed silently, and felt that she should still call Song Ningqiu, President Song.