DF Chapter 74
by VolareSong Ji’an wanted to ask something, but Sheng Jia could already guess it through her eyes.
It was the confession she almost blurted out, her blatant favoritism towards Sheng Jia throughout the year, and a young girl’s most sincere and ardent feelings during puberty.
Song Ji’an’s clear and bright eyes curved slightly when she heard Sheng Jia say the same words she was about to say.
She thought Sheng Jia was asking if she would be in pain if her confession failed.
So she only looked at the reflection of the two of them standing side-by-side in the glass wall and said with a smile, “Whether it’s painful or not, you should do what you want to do. Even if the result is painful, it’s better than leaving regrets behind, isn’t it?”
Sheng Jia carefully pondered her words, her gaze a little lost.
Taking advantage of her unguarded state, Song Ji’an quietly took her hand, just like she did on Ansdert Island.
Their soft palms touched, and Song Ji’an could feel the thin calluses on Sheng Jia’s fingertips. Sheng Jia could also feel the thick callus on the side of her right middle finger, left behind after long hours of writing.
This was the only scar on Song Ji’an’s body, stemming from her diligence and her efforts towards the future.
The warmth of their palms was transmitted between them. Sheng Jia felt a chill run down her back. The skin that touched Song Ji’an felt as if it was about to be burned, causing her to suddenly withdraw her hand.
“Song Ji’an,” she warned, “what are you doing?”
Song Ji’an tilted her head, not intimidated by her at all, and said silently, “Just holding your hand.”
Like a little rogue.
Sheng Jia lowered her eyes and put her left hand into her pocket, unconsciously clenching her palm.
“Come on, come on, it’s not easy for us to have a get-together. Let’s take a group photo,” Xu Lijing said from the other side, already setting up the Polaroid camera she brought. “There are still several photo papers inside, and we can keep them as souvenirs.”
This time, Sheng Jia reacted faster than Song Ji’an. She turned her chair around and sat at the very end of the group, also making the ambiguous atmosphere between her and Song Ji’an disappear completely.
Su Zhaolin quickly squeezed in between Song Ji’an and Sheng Jia, touching their heads respectively while muttering, “I hope sitting in the middle can absorb the spiritual energy of two top academic achievers.”
“You’re also a top academic achiever,” Song Ji’an affectionately rubbed Su Zhaolin’s face. “It’s just that you look like you’re possessed now, and your brain doesn’t seem to be working very well.”
“Oh, Song Ji’an, you’re actually making fun of me!” Su Zhaolin stretched out her hand and kneaded Song Ji’an’s face hard, like kneading dough.
Song Yi quickly tried to mediate, saying, “We’re going to take photos soon. It wouldn’t be good if Song Ji’an had a red face in the photo.”
But her words reminded Xu Lijing that opportunities to see Song Ji’an make a fool of herself were rare. With quick eyes and hands, she immediately pressed the shutter.
Click, click, click. She captured the scene of the group making a ruckus. Xu Lijing stood in the front making a V sign, smiling brightly. Several photos were ejected from the Polaroid camera. Su Zhaolin and Song Ji’an immediately stopped their fight. Su Zhaolin leaned over to look at the ejected photos and couldn’t help but laugh and scold, “You took such bad pictures of us, but you’re gloating on the side.”
Xu Lijing dodged her slap and immediately shifted the blame, “It’s not just me. Sheng Jia was clearly gloating on the side too. Look, look, she’s also smiling!”
The others then carefully noticed Sheng Jia in the corner, who was watching Song Ji’an and Su Zhaolin with a slight smile on her lips.
Su Zhaolin clicked her tongue lightly. “Too much!”
“Exactly,” Song Ji’an nodded profoundly beside her. “Too much. I strongly demand that you take a picture of them too.”
Song Yi glanced at the half of her face that was exposed in the photo due to her mediating the fight and silently breathed a sigh of relief.
“No more photo paper,” Xu Lijing smiled slyly. “Next time, next time.”
The group laughed and made merry, and the night passed just like that. The moonlight outside the window shone in. Sheng Jia quietly watched them and couldn’t help but purse her lips and smile lightly, as if briefly loosening the stone that was weighing down her heart.
The fourth mock exam came quickly. As expected, Sheng Jia still took first place. When she brought her report card and scholarship home, Sheng Huaiying had just brought back the photos they had taken a few days ago.
The dozens of retouched photos were a hundred times better-looking than the raw photos they had seen that day. Sheng Jia stood under the wall, looking up and gazing at the smiles belonging to “Sheng Huaiying and Sheng Jia” on them, like an extremely ordinary and happy mother and daughter. The warm yellow lighting made their expressions even more gentle and radiant.
“So beautiful,” Sheng Huaiying clapped her hands. “We should take more photos in the future and fill this wall even more.”
Behind Sheng Jia was the fragrant aroma of food, illuminating the warmth of the room.
“Come on, come on, let’s eat,” Sheng Huaiying called out. “The college entrance examination is in a month. We have to take good care of our bodies.”
Sheng Jia sat back at the dining table, quickly finished her meal, and then returned to her room to study as usual.
At four in the morning, Sheng Jia woke up in shock. She looked up at the dark sky outside the window and stared blankly at the ceiling.
In reality, the closer it got to the college entrance examination, the shorter her sleep time became. The emotions pressing down on her chest, about to erupt, made her toss and turn. Even though she had already made up her mind, she wasn’t as capable as she thought she was of suppressing all the emotions that might affect her decision.
She took out her phone. She had rarely looked at her phone recently in order to make a final sprint. She hadn’t responded to the messages that [R] had sent her in the past two days.
——The time is getting closer and closer. You won’t regret it or soften your heart, will you?
It was like a test, and also like an interrogation.
She remembered that she had said that she would put everything off until after the college entrance examination. R had actually sent her another message.
——Sheng Jia, you’re softening your heart. Actually, there’s no problem with our plan being brought forward or delayed. You think the college entrance examination is very important to both you and Song Ji’an. Once something happens, what impact will your triumphant success have? The only one whose college entrance examination might be affected by emotions is Song Ji’an.
Sheng Jia didn’t reply to this message at the time. When she saw it, she could almost imagine the playful look on R’s face behind the screen.
But now, she scrolled up, found it, and very slowly tapped the screen.
——Yes, I have indeed softened my heart. But so what? Since it doesn’t matter whether we do this before or after the college entrance examination, why can’t I give Song Ji’an some time or a good score as consolation after the college entrance examination?
She admitted it.
She softened her heart, she hesitated.
But this couldn’t stop her from moving forward, from taking back what belonged to her.
Only the weak dare not face their inner selves.
Sheng Jia stepped down from the bed and walked to the mirror on the desk. She saw her pale face.
The emotions in her eyes were so complex, but there was absolutely no guilt.
Her throat was dry, and she opened the door and walked out. Unexpectedly, a small lamp was lit in the living room. Sheng Huaiying no longer had the vigor of the day. She sat almost blankly under that wall, not even knowing when Sheng Jia had walked behind her.
“What to do…” she murmured in a low voice, “What will Sheng Jia do if I’m gone…”
Sheng Jia silently listened to her muttering.
She saw the calendar unknowingly held in her hand, a scarlet circle drawn around a date half a month later.
“You don’t have to worry about these things.” Sheng Jia slowly opened her mouth, her voice a little hoarse.
Sheng Huaiying was startled and suddenly turned her head. “You, you’re still not asleep?”
Her tone and facial expression quickly recovered to the amiable expression she had recently shown Sheng Jia after a brief moment of stiffness. “It’s the middle of the night. If you don’t rest well, what will you do if you don’t have any energy tomorrow?”
Sheng Jia didn’t answer her words, only quietly stared at her. “I’m saying, Mom, throw away the knives in the kitchen that are too sharp. You’ll cut your hand.”
Sheng Huaiying’s pupils trembled slightly upon hearing this, and she almost couldn’t maintain her expression.
“I will use the most reasonable method to get rid of Wang Jian, just like I got rid of Wang Jian’s Brother.” Sheng Jia said in a calm voice, “You just need to live your own life well, and you don’t have to think about sacrificing anything for me.”
“You, I…” Sheng Huaiying was a little incoherent. She didn’t know when Sheng Jia had found out. She had clearly hidden it very well, acting happy every day.
She really liked the days after she and Sheng Jia reconciled. It was also when she finally faced her own heart that she discovered that she had an immeasurable maternal love for this daughter.
She had eyes and could see how hard Sheng Jia was working. Her grades were so excellent, and a bright future was close at hand.
But another layer of shadow still loomed over them. The day Wang Jian was released from prison was getting closer and closer. She was still filled with fear of him. Three years of imprisonment was not enough to change a scumbag.
He would definitely Twist her and Sheng Jia like a ghost, dragging them back into the sea of bitterness and pain.
How could Sheng Huaiying possibly watch Wang Jian, who was about to be released from prison, destroy Sheng Jia and her proud daughter?
Those panic and resentment had long been twisted into intense murderous intent in the daily anxiety and happiness of being with Sheng Jia.
She wanted to make Wang Jian disappear forever.
Not just thinking, but wanting.
She wanted him to die.
For such a long time, she had treated every day as her last day.
She took on the responsibility of a mother in front of Sheng Jia. She no longer put any pressure on Sheng Jia. She guiltily calculated the end of her life that she might be about to reach.
This warm home might be the last gift that this not-so-smart woman planned to leave for Sheng Jia.
But all of this was seen through by Sheng Jia.
Sheng Jia looked up at the photo wall that was spread out and sighed silently.
She squatted down beside Sheng Huaiying’s legs and slowly said, “I will have a very good future, and you will also have a very good life. And he will rot in prison until the moment of his death.”
“You believe me.”
Sheng Jia’s hand on the ground felt a bit of wetness. Large drops of tears fell from Sheng Huaiying’s eyes, and she sobbed uncontrollably.
Just when she was about to walk towards a dead end, Sheng Jia stopped her once again.
This only made her feel like she was such a failed mother.
“What are you going to do?” she choked. “You’re so young, how can you do it?”
“I can’t tell you,” Sheng Jia’s gaze never left the entire wall of photos. She said softly, “Please believe me.”
She couldn’t tell Sheng Huaiying what she was going to do, nor could she tell her that she might lose her daughter for a period of time, long or short, in the future. All of this was too cruel for her.
But at least, she didn’t need Sheng Huaiying to sacrifice herself like this; she couldn’t repay it.
So she could only repeat that sentence in the darkness again and again.
——Mom, please believe me.
Throw away those sharp knives, enjoy the current life, and show a sincere smile, okay?
Sheng Huaiying fell to the ground, and she hugged Sheng Jia and cried loudly.
She repeated one word in her mouth, which was a promise to Sheng Jia.
She said okay.
She said Mom believes in you.