DF Chapter 51
by VolareLu Jing’s parent-teacher conference was truly a meeting designed for parents.
High school seniors experience great psychological pressure, and this conference was intended to teach parents how to adjust their relationship with their children in the coming six months. The school even opened a psychological counseling hotline for parents to call for advice.
Sheng Huaiying was actually the last one to be kept behind. She had always been somewhat afraid of teachers since she was a child, and she felt a little nervous being kept behind by Liu Yidong.
Although Sheng Jia had repeatedly told her that she would only feel honored because of her daughter, Sheng Huaiying couldn’t help but feel inadequate.
Liu Yidong was a young teacher, but she had a very strong personal aura. Otherwise, she wouldn’t be able to control so many proud Heaven’s Chosen Ones. As her star pupil, she knew Sheng Jia’s family situation very well. She kept Sheng Huaiying behind based on a bit of her own personal interest.
She double-majored in education and psychology in college. Facing Sheng Huaiying, she didn’t speak harshly or sternly. She simply stated Sheng Jia’s efforts over the past three years and her hard work in part-time jobs after school.
“Sheng Jia’s mother, next semester is the sprint stage. With Sheng Jia’s condition, it’s not a problem for her to get the top score in the province. What she needs now is not hard work, but rest and a relaxed environment. She’s pushing herself too hard.”
“If parents can give her more care and support, it may be able to alleviate her stress very well.”
Although Liu Yidong didn’t use any serious words, and the whole chat process could be described as amiable, Sheng Huaiying still inevitably felt stung.
How Sheng Jia had spent these nearly three years, even Liu Yidong knew so clearly and thought about it so deeply, but she, the person who should have been closest to Sheng Jia, knew almost nothing.
She knew that Sheng Jia was working part-time, and she also knew that Sheng Jia was working hard enough, but she had always thought that everything was easy for Sheng Jia. She had her own ideas and her own opinions. Sheng Huaiying had always felt that she was not qualified to intervene in her choices and could not intervene in her choices.
But she also forgot that Sheng Jia was only a seventeen-year-old child.
She’s only seventeen years old.
Now that this veil was torn open by an outsider, Sheng Huaiying couldn’t ignore it or escape it even if she wanted to.
But she didn’t dare to reveal these complex emotions anymore.
No matter how heartbroken she was, she had to grit her teeth and endure it in her heart.
She was already forty-five years old, but she was still not as mature as Liu Yidong, who was in her thirties.
For so many years, the person who had truly been taken care of was her.
In the interaction between people, there is always one person who will give more. If emotions are not transformed into each other, then it is probably one person enduring the other.
Over the years, Sheng Huaiying had been immersed in her own world, complaining about herself. She was the one who acted as the child in this mother-daughter relationship.
Sheng Huaiying almost didn’t know how she left the school. She walked unsteadily.
Liu Yidong’s words would not defeat her, but reflecting on her actions over the years was enough to make her extremely ashamed. Sheng Jia never complained about her hardships and sadness, and Sheng Huaiying thought so too. Even today at school, she was still the one who relied on Sheng Jia.
She was determined to get along well with Sheng Jia and be the most normal mother and daughter in the world, but she could only think of such superficial things.
She had never thought about how sensible Sheng Jia’s behavior was in calmly accepting her show of goodwill.
Until this moment.
She learned to hide her emotions, crying outside and then sending Sheng Jia a message as usual, wishing Sheng Jia a happy time playing on the beach today.
After Sheng Huaiying returned home, she rarely went to play mahjong. Her mind was very confused, so she couldn’t help but grab a broom and start cleaning up and down as soon as she got home.
By the time Sheng Jia got home, she was still cleaning non-stop. The house, which used to seem a little cramped and dim, had been completely renewed, so that when Sheng Jia saw it, the panic in her heart that had not yet been sorted out was replaced by surprise.
But Sheng Huaiying had completely figured it out after these few hours.
She decided not to give Sheng Jia any more pressure or negative emotions. Liu Yidong was right, what she should give Sheng Jia was care and support.
“You’re back? Were the fireworks pretty?” She asked with a smile.
Sheng Jia nodded obediently, “They were pretty good.”
As she spoke, she looked at Sheng Huaiying hesitantly, “You…”
Sheng Huaiying hugged the mop and said softly, “Mom was so proud today. My daughter is so amazing and excellent. I think I shouldn’t hold you back. The environment in your classroom is so good, how can our home always be dim?”
“Look, actually when we were studying at that time, we were taught a lot of specialized skills. I’m not that useless either. I can actually change light bulbs and paint walls.” She pointed to the bright incandescent lamp above her head, “Tomorrow I’ll get a bucket of cleaner paint and we’ll paint the walls, okay? Paint them snow-white. I was too embarrassed to go into your room, but your lamp should also be very old. How about I help you replace it tomorrow or now?”
Sheng Huaiying rarely said so many words at once. She suppressed her dodging and guilt and looked at Sheng Jia with care that almost drowned her, so that Sheng Jia didn’t know what to say for a while.
But Sheng Huaiying didn’t urge her. She just waited patiently for Sheng Jia to reply.
The mother and daughter stood in the living room. After a long time, Sheng Jia slowly nodded, “Tomorrow, I’m a little sleepy.”
“Okay! Okay!” Sheng Huaiying visibly cheered up, “Then you go to rest quickly, I’ll help you change it tomorrow.”
Sheng Jia blinked and entered the room almost as if she was running away.
She almost collapsed to the ground as soon as she entered the room, breathing lightly.
She hated change and hated the feeling of not being able to control herself even more.
Song Ji’an’s confession by the sea and her own abnormality were still stuck in her chest. Sheng Huaiying’s concern after returning home made her feel even more pressure.
Even if there were only a few exchanges, Sheng Huaiying seemed to have a more mature mask in front of her. If it was normal, she should be lying on the sofa watching TV or playing mahjong downstairs. After Sheng Jia came back, she would ask her as usual if she was hungry and wanted to eat.
She had never been stared at so eagerly by Sheng Huaiying, as if she was also her unique treasure.
What exactly happened at the parent-teacher conference?
Sheng Jia didn’t know, she only knew that she couldn’t face Sheng Huaiying well with her current state.
On the beach, she was already trying her best to restrain herself, lest Song Ji’an notice anything unusual. She couldn’t pretend to be as good as she could in front of Sheng Huaiying, and she didn’t want the other party to see her gaffe.
Phone.
Sheng Jia groped for her phone, the message from [R] was so dazzling, floating on the lock screen page.
Sheng Jia took a deep breath, unlocked the phone with a trembling hand, and opened her text message page.
—Are you not afraid that you will be increasingly entangled in maternal love and eventually lose your way?
This message was sent at eight o’clock in the evening, when Sheng Jia was in the crowd, the message couldn’t get through at all, and she didn’t see it.
She wanted to reply that she wasn’t afraid, but thinking of Sheng Huaiying’s changes during this period, she had to admit that she couldn’t type these two words.
She couldn’t refuse Sheng Huaiying’s concern.
But this was not the most important thing now.
People can’t change suddenly, especially Sheng Huaiying. Sheng Jia knew her well enough, so she would feel a little strange about her changes tonight, but not too scared. She had plenty of time to figure out what Sheng Huaiying had encountered today.
What she was really afraid of was that she couldn’t control her heart.
How could she suddenly want to give Song Ji’an and herself a chance?
In that vast and magnificent fireworks display, she couldn’t control her thoughts, which was the most terrible thing.
–She might also have fallen in love with Song Ji’an.
This possibility was enough to collapse her long-held beliefs, and she didn’t know what to do.
In this late night, the only person who could talk to her was [R].
But she couldn’t say such embarrassing words, and she couldn’t confide in others.
She might have fallen in love with the person who had taken away her life for seventeen years. When did she become so kind and be dominated by emotions?
Sheng Jia finally lay quietly on the bed, staring at the ceiling to calm her mood.
She shouldn’t be so flustered, she should remain calm as usual.
Until her heartbeat completely calmed down, and until the dark sky outside the window had a little light, Sheng Jia sat up from the bed, brushed the messy hair behind her head, and lay on the windowsill near the bed, quietly watching a sunrise.
Those panicked, fearful, and uneasy emotions were once again buried deep in her heart. She seemed to have returned to the Sheng Jia who could handle everything with ease.
A few rays of sunlight poured in from the window, and the dust in the room was reflected, showing the trajectory of circles spinning. Sheng Jia’s astringent eyes were sore, but she was a little reluctant to move her gaze away.
This low floor could also see the sunrise, just like she had for more than ten years. The sun rose as usual.
Like doesn’t mean anything.
She stared at the sun, which was divided into several pieces by the bare branches outside the window, and said softly in her heart.
Love can be suppressed, and heartbeats can also be inhibited.
This is not difficult.
Covering her already calm chest, she didn’t dare to look at her face in the mirror by the windowsill.
She also couldn’t see how pale her face was at the moment, and how stubborn and terrible her eyes were.
Until Sheng Huaiying came to knock on her door lightly.
“Sheng Jia, are you awake? I bought you breakfast.”
It was now seven-thirty in the morning, and the sun had just risen. According to Sheng Huaiying’s experience, Sheng Jia should have woken up long ago. She also had to go to work in the factory. She had specifically asked for leave for the parent-teacher conference yesterday.
Sheng Jia’s head felt as if it was filled with lead at the moment, and she was much slower to react. It took a long time before she replied, “Okay, I know.”
Only then did Sheng Huaiying feel relieved, smiled and said to her that Mom was going to work, followed by the muffled sound of closing the door.
As Sheng Huaiying left, the room became quiet again.
Sheng Jia felt as if she had come back to life again, coming back to life from that pale and self-consuming world.
She was once again pulled back to reality full of the smell of fireworks and food by Sheng Huaiying.
A few casual words from Sheng Huaiying could make her feel relieved, just that simple.
Sheng Jia couldn’t help but curl the corners of her lips weakly, feeling a little self-deprecating.
Look, she just longed for maternal love like this. This was different from her admiration for Song Ningqiu. What she wanted to ask for from Sheng Huaiying was originally a common mother’s concern for her daughter.
Just like Song Ningqiu to Song Ji’an.
The breakfast on the table was eaten clean by her.
Sheng Jia took out her mobile phone and finally replied to the message that [R] sent her last night.
—Are you not afraid that you will be increasingly entangled in maternal love and eventually lose your way?
—Not afraid.
She wasn’t afraid.
She couldn’t wait to have more love.
—More, love from her mother. No matter which mother it is.