MTMIO Chapter 76

Chapter 76: The Process of Quantitative Change in Emotion

Chapter 76 The Process of Quantitative Change in Emotion

“Clearly, she had practiced the piece until she could play it backwards, yet she couldn’t produce a single note.”

“What happened next? It must have been Napoleon meeting his Waterloo.”

Yun Zhu’s words kept swirling in her mind, Lu You’s eyelashes were dampened, weighed down heavily.

She pushed herself up from the sofa, slowly sat up, faced Yue Yunxi directly, and spoke softly, her voice hoarse with a choked feeling: “Is it… related to me?”

Yue Yunxi’s fingers stroked her cheek, the touch was very light, as gentle as her voice: “It’s a problem with my own mentality.”

She didn’t deny it was about her.

She just objectively attributed the reason to herself.

Lu You’s throat felt instantly blocked and painful.

Her vision was blurred by a mist of water, Yue Yunxi’s figure in her eyes, like the hazy moon in the night outside the window, the light was obviously gentle, yet it seemed lonely.

She dared not look at Yue Yunxi’s face, dared not see her comforting her with such a relieved expression, yet she was reluctant not to look, couldn’t help but look, to the point that her eyes became increasingly moist.

“When is the competition?”

Yue Yunxi took a deep, long breath, like a soft sigh, without answering her question.

Lu You lowered her eyelashes, without pressing, because she already guessed that at the same time Yue Yunxi was preparing to compete, she was cooperating with Tao Xin to post an official announcement.

Tears flowed down instantly, hitting Yue Yunxi’s hand.

The scalding temperature seemed to burn her heart through her soaked fingertips, Yue Yunxi couldn’t help but curl her hand back, frowning slightly.

It was like she was about to be infected with the same emotion by her tears.

Lu You covered her eyes, sobbing softly.

She was so sad just because she wasn’t satisfied with her ranking, just because she didn’t get first place, but she still had Yue Yunxi.

Therefore, Lu You couldn’t imagine what kind of emotions Yue Yunxi was trapped in that day.

Everyone’s lives were proceeding along their tracks.

Only hers, like a collapsed kiln, fell into a dark abyss of despair.

Yue Yunxi leaned forward, wrapped her arms around her neck, and hugged her, as if she could see through her thoughts, understanding the reason for her emotional collapse at this moment: “Do you feel sorry for me?”

Lu You wrapped her arms around Yue Yunxi’s armpits, rested her head on Yue Yunxi’s shoulder, and gave a soft “hmm.”

“It’s quite miserable, love life failure, competition failure.” Yue Yunxi’s tone was relaxed, full of an attitude of having already let go, “Compared to me at that time, don’t you think you’re actually pretty good today?”

What witty and humorous words, if she didn’t like Yue Yunxi so much at this moment, she would probably be amused.

But now, listening to it, she only wanted to cry more.

How could she be so cruel?

Deliberately dissecting her own wounds in such a nonchalant way, just to soothe her emotions.

“Think about it, every time you competed in the past, didn’t you feel a lot of pressure? Because everyone around you, including yourself, had high expectations for you.”

So that competition, everyone around you also had high expectations and high demands for you.

Lu You’s throat was severely congested, unable to make a sound for a moment, she could only listen to Yue Yunxi whispering comfort in her ear.

“The first competition after starting over, this ranking is actually pretty good, it means we still have a lot of room for improvement, next time we can get second place, the time after that we can get first place, and the time after that, let’s perform on the same stage together…”

How could she be so gentle?

“Stop it.” Lu You squeezed out a voice urgently, pleading weakly, “Please don’t comfort me anymore… please don’t comfort me like this…”

What first and second place didn’t matter anymore.

She clutched Yue Yunxi’s clothes tightly, so tightly that deep wrinkles were pressed into them, “I just want to know, how… how did you get through that day?”

She paused, and then said: “Don’t lie to me.”

The powerless voice was like some kind of expensive fragile item.

In her arms, Yue Yunxi’s body trembled very lightly.

As if the tremor was caused by recalling the darkest moment.

After a brief silence, Yue Yunxi confessed, “That is, I never got through it…”

The voice with a smile was like swallowing a handful of coarse sand, truly unpleasant.

Lu You’s hand holding her clothes instantly tightened, feeling her chest beating, as if it was also being squeezed in her palm until it ached.

Yue Yunxi seemed to be able to see through her thoughts, perceive the reason for her low mood, and said to her in a low, gentle, and serious voice: “Those are all my own problems, me liking you has nothing to do with you.”

Objectively speaking, that was true.

But human emotions always override objectivity.

“But I’m still so sad.” Lu You sobbed, “You’re doing it on purpose, deliberately making me feel so sorry for you.”

“Yes, I’m doing it on purpose.” Yue Yunxi admitted frankly, her low murmur had a kind of suppressed madness, “Feel a little more sorry for me, just treat it as making the me who got through that time happy.”

“I hate you so much.” Lu You almost broke down.

Yue Yunxi understood that this was the opposite, but still thought, it’s better than having no emotions towards me.

A long period of silence.

Lu You’s chin rested on Yue Yunxi’s shoulder, raising her damp eyes, the tears had all slid down, her vision became clear.

She could see the bed opposite, and the sky outside the floor-to-ceiling windows on the side.

Like ink ground in an inkstone, occasionally revealing the crescent moon hidden in the ink.

Her empathy, anchored by Yue Yunxi’s sentence—”one heartbeat after another”—constructed a scene in her mind.

As if she could see, every throbbing coming back, the curled-up, lonely-as-the-moon figure on the bed would wake up suddenly in the middle of the night, and then sit alone all night.

In the chaotic thoughts, Yue Yunxi would occasionally have a thought.

—The day she lost the competition and missed Lu You, what she experienced was not a night where the rain would stop and the sky would clear.

But a humid, pervasive back-to-spring weather.

“Yue Yunxi.” Lu You called her softly, her crying voice was not so heavy anymore.

Her initial self’s emotions seemed to be completely covered by the salt in the tears, like a pain point smeared on the wound.

And the source of the tears was Yue Yunxi’s casual disclosure of her past.

Yue Yunxi gave a soft “hmm.”

Lu You didn’t speak again, she just wanted to call Yue Yunxi, without reason, without purpose.

Perhaps waiting for her next words, Yue Yunxi released her hands clasped behind her neck, held her shoulders, and pulled away a little.

Lu You raised her eyes and collided with Yue Yunxi’s concerned gaze.

A gentle gaze, like a night where you can see the full moon.

Yue Yunxi’s fingertips wiped across her cheek, wiping away a little remaining dampness, “Are you hungry?”

Such familiar lines.

Lu You tugged at the corners of her mouth, feeling the tightness of the skin on her face, a sequelae of having all the tears dried, “Will you cook noodles for me?”

Yue Yunxi was stunned, her red lips parted slightly, hesitant.

From her unnatural expression, Lu You slowly realized that this sentence was ambiguous, and quickly explained: “I don’t mean that!”

“Which meaning?”

“You know, which meaning.”

Lu You lowered her head, feeling that her tight face was like being thinned, quickly feeding back the heat of the deep blood.

“I don’t know.” Yue Yunxi asked, “Not that meaning, then do you want to eat my noodles, or don’t you want to eat my noodles?”

Natural to the point of showing a few points of sincerity, as if she was really just asking her if she wanted to eat boiled noodles.

Could it be that she was overthinking with a brain full of dirty thoughts?

Lu You secretly reflected on herself, dispelled distracting thoughts, and answered seriously: “Want… is want.”

But the hotel didn’t have a pot, or noodles, not even instant noodles.

Lu You didn’t say a word of the second half, her collar was suddenly grabbed by Yue Yunxi, she leaned forward following the force.

Yue Yunxi kissed her, the conditioned reflex closed eyelids, along the mottled tear marks, to her lips.

This kiss was like Debussy’s Clair de Lune prelude, gentle, long, like flowing moonlight, and finally flowed into Lu You’s sensitive ears.

Like plucking the strings of a qin, Yue Yunxi played her a tune with her tongue.

The final ending was a sentence: “I’m going to take a shower.”

Her ears were damp, that kind of heart-wrenching itch, caused Lu You to tremble uncontrollably, when Yue Yunxi stepped back, the remaining touch left her brain still in a blank state.

Until Yue Yunxi stood up and turned around, suddenly sitting on her lap.

Lu You shook her mind for a moment, unconsciously rubbing her ears and asked: “What’s wrong? Aren’t you going to wash up?”

“No… I squatted for too long, my legs are numb.” Yue Yunxi frowned, her expression had a kind of unbearable pain.

Lu You pinched her calf under the cheongsam skirt.

“Hey, don’t.” Yue Yunxi instantly softened in her arms, tightly grabbing her collar, softly glared at Lu You.

“Rub it, it will get better faster.” Lu You explained innocently, “It’s just that it will be a little uncomfortable at the beginning, just bear with it.”

Yue Yunxi closed her eyes, prepared herself mentally before letting her continue, waiting for the numbness to subside a little, reaching out and rubbing her ears and asking: “Do you want to wash together?”

Lu You realized that her sentence was extremely impatient.

“I’m just purely, wanting your legs to get better faster, not impatient.” Lu You’s hand rubbed on her well-proportioned calf, swallowing her itchy throat, “Although I really want to, but not to that extent, really not to that extent.”

Yue Yunxi smiled, her shoulders trembling slightly: “I know, I just suddenly thought that there’s a qing bar nearby, saying it’s a paradise for musicians, not only has various instruments, but also sheet music. The owner has a rare Philharmonic Orchestra’s original sheet music, I want to see it.”

Lu You asked with great interest which street the qing bar was on.

“I won’t tell you, if I tell you, you will definitely set off right away now.” Yue Yunxi’s legs were not so numb anymore, adjusted her posture, the legs that were together slowly staggered, enchantingly leaning on her, “Let’s wash together, do something happy, have dinner, and then you accompany me to see it, okay? I’m a little horny now, you can’t leave me alone…”

Lu You lowered her eyes and stared at Yue Yunxi’s red lips opening and closing, quietly listened to her arrange all the things, rubbed on her side neck, sighed and said: “Good sister, you think of me too… nobly.”

ˉ

Yue Yunxi’s cheongsam was taken off by Yue Yunxi herself, unbuttoning each knot one by one in front of Lu You.

Lu You discovered that she not only liked to see Yue Yunxi wearing a cheongsam, but also liked to see her take it off.

Although the second half was all peeking through her fingers.

Entering the shower, turning on the showerhead.

The water that initially fell was cold, the cold water of this season, as cold as ice, splashing on Lu You’s body, freezing her and causing her to shiver.

Then warmth came from her back, that touch made her tremble again.

After a while, hot water finally poured down, Lu You turned around, Yue Yunxi pressed her shoulder, letting her squat down.

The shower room was filled with layers and layers of heat, the glass was atomized, everywhere was misty, with a kind of unreal blur.

Lu You raised her chin, slowly moving her lips.

The sound of water rang in her ears, like rain that didn’t belong to this season.

Yue Yunxi looked down at her, her fingers fiddled with her ears, combing her wet long hair.

At some point of eye contact, Yue Yunxi seemed to hear a thump in her heart. Because Lu You’s eyes that had cried before still had a hint of red at the end, that look was too pure. And that clean and neat face, in the white mist, was just like in the dream she longed for day and night, so she had a contradictory feeling.

A contradictory feeling intertwined with blasphemy and the desire to destroy.

Before the desire to destroy could be suppressed, Yue Yunxi pulled Lu You up.

Lu You was not satisfied, kissed her, let her taste her own taste, mischievously said in the gap: “Thought of a poem.”

Yue Yunxi asked: “What?”

Lu You tilted her head to her ear, reached out at the same time, and said in a breathy voice: “Deer drink from the stream in the empty forest.”

After saying that, she felt shy first, and wanted to retreat at the elbow.

Yue Yunxi chuckled, grabbed her wrist that wanted to be taken back, and ordered hoarsely: “Go in.”

Lu You’s eyes widened slightly.

This had never happened before.

Was it okay?

Before she had time to ask, she had already received the answer.

She also realized that Yue Yunxi’s tone was giving instructions, not coaxing and discussing.

Lu You felt hot, not only because of the warm water falling from the shower, the heat radiating from the inside out made her whole body seem to be rusting in the humid atmosphere, her hands were full of rust water, her movements became more and more slow.

And the heaviest stroke in her memory was that in the end Yue Yunxi hugged her and told her again and again—

I like you.

I like you very much.

I like you the most.

I really like you so much.

It seemed like a process of quantitative change in emotion.

To the point that this emotion rose to its peak, when she heard Yue Yunxi’s subtle sobbing, she was once again wrapped in a long-lost emotion that suddenly surged up.

She regretted it, regretted agreeing to Tao Xin.

In the past, she regretted the previous relationship, regretting that friendship had deteriorated into love, and could never go back.

Now that regret was even deeper, she regretted that this relationship that should have deteriorated long ago, why did it come so late.