MTMIO Chapter 106
by VolareChapter 106: “Yue Yunxi, I’m so uncomfortable…”
All the beautiful visions they had imagined that day were like a delicate model violently damaged by express delivery.
The box hadn’t even been opened, and the contents were already fragmented.
The snow in the yard was churned into dirty and chaotic tracks of vehicles and footprints.
There wouldn’t be any adorable little deer snowmen…
The door opened, and the curtains were lifted by the wind, creating sharp and mournful whistling sounds. The light that entered the room illuminated a scene of mess and desolation.
There wouldn’t be the fresh aroma and warmth of shrimp wontons spreading above the hall…
A yo-yo rolled out from under the sofa, whimpering as it trotted over. In its path, fragments of crystal trophies and teacups were scattered in front of the coffee table.
Next to the white-and-blue porcelain shard that had flown the furthest, lay a feather duster made of rattan.
Under the illuminated chandelier, the porcelain shard reflected a sharp light.
It stung the eyes painfully.
It was bought after moving in.
Lu You still remembered that day. It was a warm afternoon.
The TV opposite the coffee table was on, playing a family drama. The old lady was nestled on the sofa, cracking melon seeds while watching TV, occasionally making sarcastic comments about the ridiculous plot.
Lu You wasn’t watching TV, but was browsing online shopping on her tablet, offering somewhat perfunctory agreement.
The old lady turned her head, leaned closer to look at her tablet, and suddenly remembered something, saying, “Hey, buy me that.”
“Which one?”
“That, that thing for patting the quilt!”
“A feather duster?”
“Not a feather one, a rattan one.”
Lu You searched using keywords and casually asked, “Grandma, what’s that thing called?”
“What’s it called? What was it called? Can’t you find it by searching for a duster to pat quilts? When your dad was disobedient, I used that thing to beat him! Or you can search like this – a paddle for beating kids!”
In her memory, the old lady laughed so hard she bent over.
Just like Lu You at this moment, so uncomfortable she hunched her back.
There would no longer be the old lady appearing in front of her with a beaming smile, acting like a treasure following them around…
Lu You had imagined the scene of her grandmother’s passing.
Life within an aging and frail body seemed so fragile.
Therefore, when she saw topics about the death of relatives online, she would always involuntarily project herself into them.
She would cry bitterly in her fantasies of losing her grandmother.
But when this event suddenly and unexpectedly happened, she realized that people in this situation could even lose the ability to cry.
She personally dressed her grandmother in her funeral clothes, following Auntie Liu’s instructions, coaxing her with kind words: “Grandma, I’m going to dress you now, relax your body, you won’t be pretty if you don’t wear nice clothes.”
Her limbs really did relax.
Looking just like when she was sound asleep.
Only her slightly open mouth and ashen face showed subtle differences.
Auntie Liu raised the old lady’s chin, but couldn’t close her mouth.
She raised it again, but still couldn’t close it.
Lu You saw it.
Inexplicably, she wanted to call out “Grandma.”
As if just by calling out a few more times, the old lady could give a clearer response, could get up and greet the sunlight like every morning.
“Grandma…”
The sun is high in the sky, it’s time to get up.
Everyone says old people don’t need much sleep, why are you sleeping so much today?
You even said you’d cook small wontons for Yoyo, you’re not keeping your word, you silly old thing.
Oh well, this time I’ll…
“Forgive you.”
Lu You leaned over to arrange the old lady’s collar, unconsciously murmuring in her ear.
As soon as the words fell, Auntie Liu raised Grandma’s chin again, and this time, her mouth closed.
A white cloth covered the old lady’s face, and Lu You’s eyes reddened.
But the tears were like molten lava trapped in a volcano, scorching her eyes, never quite flowing out.
The train of her life controlled by her grandmother stopped in this harsh winter. Heavy snow fell on her rusty trachea and lungs, and her heart was sealed in cracked ice.
The pain was excessively numb.
So much so that she always felt like she was in an absurd imagination, or in a daze, not yet awake from a dream.
Only the feeling of unreality was clearest.
She didn’t dare ask Auntie Liu when Grandma was taken to the hospital.
She didn’t dare confirm whether Grandma was lying in the ambulance she had seen.
Whether the siren she heard contained the long beep of a heart monitor, and whether the flashing lights she saw were the moment she missed her grandmother.
She also didn’t actively ask Auntie Liu what had happened.
As if as long as she was a little confused, she could make it all seem more unreal.
In the past two days, many relatives from afar had come. After finishing the funeral feast, they would gather in small groups, chatting about this and that. On the first day, they were all discussing her gossip.
“A waste of raising her, not a single tear shed.”
“She sold the house her dad bought for the old lady and bought herself a house, they say.”
“Just like her mother, a cold-blooded animal.”
“And there’s that thing, have you heard? First she was with that little singer, both women! Isn’t that a mess? Later she messed around with the little singer’s sister. I think the old lady was angered to death by her.”
As luck would have it, Tao Xin, who came to offer condolences, overheard it. She directly squeezed into the crowd and said angrily:
“What nonsense are you talking about? Grandma was very open-minded when she was alive, unlike you, every single one of you shameless old things, it’s fine if you’re uneducated, but don’t go around spreading rumors.”
“Who are you calling shameless?” The auntie who started the gossip pointed at Tao Xin’s nose, trembling with anger.
Finally, someone else persuaded, “Alright, alright, let’s all say less.”
Only then did the crowd disperse.
Tao Xin rolled her eyes, and as her gaze returned, she was slightly stunned.
Across the room, at the corner connecting the bathroom and the living room, Lu You and Yue Yunxi stood side by side, quietly watching her.
The three of them walked out together, passing through the crowd who were constantly casting scrutinizing glances.
Lu You whispered to Tao Xin, “Thank you for speaking up for me just now.”
“…It’s all the truth, it’s not really helping.” Tao Xin paused. “Actually, I came here today not only to offer condolences, but also to say goodbye.”
Yue Yunxi asked, “Where are you planning to go?”
Tao Xin glanced at Lu You and said, “A friend opened a bar in Beicheng and invited me to be the resident singer.”
She used to dislike the small stage at Lost Deer, wanting to go to a bigger one. After going around in circles, she was back at the starting point.
Lu You lowered her head, stepping down the steps of the corridor: “That’s good.”
Tao Xin didn’t say anything.
After a brief silence, Yue Yunxi opened her mouth to ask, “Did you finish your lawsuit?”
Tao Xin “mm”ed.
After another moment of silence, as they walked under the bougainvillea flower umbrella, Tao Xin took a deep breath and stopped, saying, “I’m sorry.”
Lu You paused, looking up at her.
“I know saying sorry is useless, but I really don’t know how to make it up to you guys.”
Seeing Lu You open her mouth as if she had something to say, Tao Xin spoke first, “Let me finish! I think… maybe the best compensation you need is… for me not to disturb your life anymore.”
Lu You lowered her head again, only replying with a “Thank you.”
Tao Xin twitched the corner of her mouth, forcing a look of relief, pretending to be relaxed, “Can I have a hug?”
Yue Yunxi frowned almost imperceptibly, not responding immediately.
Looking sideways at Lu You next to her, she had the same reaction.
Catching their micro-expressions, a look of disappointment flashed in Tao Xin’s eyes, “You still blame me, resent me… right?”
Lu You shook her head, “Resentment and love are equally intense emotions.”
And she didn’t want to give her such profound emotions anymore.
Tao Xin was stunned.
“I don’t blame you, I don’t resent you, I don’t hate you, but I won’t forgive you either. All I can give you is to wish you smoothness and peace in the future.”
Lu You finished speaking completely without emotion, strode away, walking straight towards the parking area.
After a few steps, she turned her head and said to Yue Yunxi, who was following, “Let’s take your cello back first, then go to the cemetery to confirm the location of the tombstone, and then go to the florist to order the flowers for the memorial service.”
Her tone was filled with undisguised exhaustion.
“The flowers have already been ordered.”
“When did you order them?”
“Last night.” Yue Yunxi reached out. “Give me the car keys, you’re not in a good state, sit in the passenger seat.”
Lu You handed over the car keys.
Along with the little moon pendant, it fell from her fingertips into Yue Yunxi’s palm.
The sunlight reflected on the lobster clasp dazzled Tao Xin’s eyes.
She stood blankly under the flower umbrella, watching the car carrying the two of them drive out of sight, before gently blinking her eyes.
Perhaps she had kept them open for too long, they were so sore that tears were about to fall.
“You could have had two sisters who doted on you very much.”
The words Yue Yunxi had said floated into her mind, scattered by the biting cold wind.
Several petals of the bougainvillea were blown off by the wind.
Tao Xin stretched out her hand, and a petal brushed her fingertips, drifting down in the wind.
She inexplicably thought of an earlier time.
After finishing her cello lesson, Lu You came to pick her up from school, and the wind picked up on the way home.
Four-colored sycamore leaves, carrying the seasons, twirled in the wind.
“Will we always be good friends?”
When she asked Lu You this question, she cried so hard that a bubble came out of her nose.
They both froze, she laughed leaning backwards, and Lu You laughed leaning forwards.
Therefore, Lu You didn’t answer her question.
It was like a destiny predetermined in the dark.
–
The aunties gossiping in the house gathered together again, spreading rumors and slander, even more so than before.
This time, Auntie Liu heard it.
Not directly confronting them like Tao Xin, Auntie Liu rolled her eyes and naturally joined in, saying with tears streaming down her face: “Our old lady was so miserable! She went to the hospital twice and was given two critical condition notices, but her son wasn’t even there, it was all her granddaughter taking care of her.”
“Really?” someone questioned.
“May I be struck by lightning if I’m lying to you!” Auntie Liu said, wiping her tears, “The old lady also loved the younger generation, knowing her son was useless, she was afraid that after she died, her granddaughter would be bullied by her own father, so she specifically asked her to buy this house.”
“Is that so?”
“Yes! It’s been so long since they moved, and her son hasn’t even asked about her. He called a few days ago and made the old lady’s blood pressure spike, up to 260!”
One of the fat aunties gasped, “That’s dangerous!”
“It is! The doctor was scared to death!”
“Hey, your old lady, what happened to her?” The person asking the question nudged Auntie Liu with her shoulder, lowering her voice, “How did she go?”
“Yesterday he called saying it was his birthday and he wanted to eat longevity noodles made by his old mother, so the old lady gave him the address, didn’t even sleep, waiting for him all night. The driver brought him over reeking of alcohol, and the old lady wiped his face and gave him honey water to sober him up, happily took out her granddaughter’s trophy to show him, but somehow, he suddenly got angry.”
“Saying the old lady didn’t love him, elbowing him out of the way, smashed the trophy, and the old lady got upset… a sudden cerebral hemorrhage, passed away on the way…”
Auntie Liu choked and couldn’t speak.
The fat auntie handed her some paper, patting her back to comfort her, while indignantly saying, “Didn’t she love him? Who doesn’t know how hard it was for the old lady to raise him, he’s really not a good person!”
That night, Auntie Liu’s words had already spread among the crowd.
By the next day, new content had been added.
“Why did they argue like that?”
“It’s about the divorce of the young couple back then. It was clearly his own fault, but now he’s blaming the old lady… he’s really like an old pig going to the slaughterhouse, or a salamander climbing a tree.”
These words could be heard in every corner of the first floor.
Lu You had only slept a total of four hours in the past two days. Annoyed by the noise, and unable to bear hearing discussions about her grandmother, she simply hid in the sunroom.
The weather wasn’t good, and a gloomy light enveloped the room, adding a touch of desolation.
On the recliner was the new sweater her grandmother had knitted for Yo-Yo, a vibrant red that was particularly striking in the dim room.
The little clothes had a complete deer pattern, cartoonish and cute, but the sweater itself wasn’t finished, missing two rounds.
The image of the old lady nestled in the recliner knitting a sweater while telling Yue Yunxi about her embarrassing moments was still vivid in her memory.
As if it had happened just yesterday.
Lu You hugged the little sweater, sat down on the chair, curled up, like a matchstick that had been burned.
Yue Yunxi silently accompanied her.
The clamorous voices downstairs and the sounds of the opera that the old lady loved to listen to surged upstairs like waves, drowning out the faint breaths.
The light through the glass gradually dimmed, and it was getting dark.
A knock sounded in the room.
Yue Yunxi opened the door, and Lu You heard Auntie Liu’s voice, but didn’t listen carefully to what they were discussing.
After a while, the door was closed.
Lu You’s half-lowered long eyelashes trembled slightly, and she sat up, calling out in a low voice, “…Yue Yunxi?”
“I’m here.” Yue Yunxi moved over and squatted in front of her. “What’s wrong?”
Lu You shook her head, her low, hoarse voice having a broken quality: “Nothing, I just thought you had left.”
Her eyes were terribly red, but she didn’t shed tears.
Yue Yunxi looked into her eyes, feeling like she was standing on the beach at night, unable to see the surface of the water, but able to feel the dense dampness.
“You’re still here, where would I go?” Yue Yunxi reached out and smoothed her hair, her voice even gentler: “Life is long, people will always have things they want to do, I can’t say I’ll be with you forever. But at least at times like this, I can always be with you.”
Lu You’s tears instantly fell.
Yue Yunxi knelt on the floor, looking up, and kissed the corner of her wet eyes.
Following the tear tracks down, she lightly touched the slightly salty corner of her lips, a brief touch. And her fingers wrapped in her hair, pressing on the back of her head, letting her lean on her shoulder.
Lu You’s forehead bumped against it, and the sound squeezed out of her rolling throat was bitter, the first word even failing to be voiced: “…When I was little, I especially didn’t like sleeping alone. When I woke up in the middle of the night, I would take my pillow to the master bedroom. After they divorced, no one accompanied me anymore… Until Grandma and Grandpa came to the city, after Grandpa passed away, I always felt that Grandma was my only relative… But now, I don’t even have my only relative…”
Yue Yunxi’s fingers stroking the back of her head tightened a little: “She’s your most important relative, but not your only one. Grandma has paved the way for you.”
Lu You didn’t speak, her hands clutching the unfinished sweater, her knuckles rubbing against the deer pattern.
The tighter she clenched, the tighter she held it.
What if the pattern was complete?
It was still an unfinished vest.
Low sobs overflowed from her shoulder, restrained and suppressed.
Not knowing how long had passed, Lu You slowly let go, lowering her eyes, stroking a large patch of tear-soaked marks on Yue Yunxi’s clothes.
“It’s okay, it’ll dry in a bit.” Yue Yunxi took a wet wipe to wipe away the tears congealing on her face.
The slightly cool and damp touch moistened the tension on her cheeks.
Lu You took a deep breath, eased her emotions, and asked, “What did Auntie Liu come to tell you?”
Yue Yunxi was silent for a moment, hesitating, “Yo-Yo is gone.”
Lu You rolled her throat, wanting to say something, but couldn’t utter a word, only feeling her throat hurt, hurt so much that she clutched the small sweater in her hand, involuntarily holding her breath.
“She said that in the past two days, it wouldn’t eat or drink. Auntie Liu originally thought it was just for two days, it wouldn’t be a big deal… It was also listless on the morning walk. Auntie Liu was worried and took it to the hospital, but it didn’t have much will to live, and passed away at noon. The pet hospital cremated it, and Auntie Liu came to ask you if Yo-Yo’s ashes could be buried with Grandma’s. She said that in Grandma’s life, besides you, the most important thing was Yo-Yo.”
Lu You slowly exhaled, her eyebrows furrowing again and again, and after a long time, she squeezed out of her throat: “Okay… It should have gone to accompany Grandma.”
“Also, Auntie Liu told you not to buy an urn for Grandma, Grandma had already prepared one for herself…” Yue Yunxi moved her lips, her words still unfinished.
Lu You was stunned, thinking of the ceramic jar painted with various floral patterns on the dressing table, “Is it from Xicheng, the one Grandma made herself?”
To be precise, it was made by her and her grandmother together.
Yue Yunxi looked at her worriedly, “Mm,” she said.
So, it really was a cremation urn.
No wonder, after it was fired, the old lady didn’t want the store to mail it, fearing that the express delivery would bump and damage the jar.
Lu You didn’t say anything more.
Because Yue Yunxi’s legs had gone numb, they stayed in the room for another half an hour before going out.
They happened to bump into Lu Huai’an, who was preparing to go downstairs.
Hearing the sound of the door opening and closing, Lu Huai’an turned his head and looked over.
Perhaps because he felt guilty, or perhaps just because he had been too busy these past two days, his face looked like a piece of dried cured meat, and his whole person, hunched over, had no energy, like a lump of rotten meat stuffed into a wrinkled suit, barely holding a human shape.
Disgust unconsciously showed in Lu You’s eyes.
“What kind of look is that?” Lu Huai’an stopped at the staircase, frowning in dissatisfaction.
A step away, Lu You stopped, staring coldly at him, without saying a word.
“No, why are you looking at me like that?” Lu Huai’an’s frown deepened, waving his hand casually downstairs, “Don’t think I don’t know, it was you who instructed the nanny to spread rumors everywhere!”
“Which sentence is a rumor?”
The look of guilt and remorse was fleeting. The expression on Lu Huai’an’s face suddenly became fierce, as if he was about to explode, but after glancing at Yue Yunxi, he suppressed his temper for the sake of face.
“Every sentence is a lie! Now that the old lady is gone, she’s useless, fire her as soon as possible!”
Lu You turned a deaf ear, her gaze sweeping past the railing, falling on the ice coffin downstairs.
Flowers clustered, colorful lights twinkling, gradually becoming blurred in her misty eyes.
“A son’s birthday is truly his mother’s day of suffering.”
As she was saying this, Lu You caught sight of Auntie Liu leading someone into the house. From her overlooking angle, she couldn’t see the person’s face clearly, until the person looked up.
Lu You’s eyebrow twitched slightly, she turned her head, directly meeting the person’s gaze.
At the same time, Lu Huai’an glared at her fiercely, but found that she didn’t even give him a glance. Following her gaze, he hastily glanced over, reacting a beat later.
–The person was Zhang Wenyin.
Lu Huai’an turned around in disbelief, wanting to take another look, but before he could catch sight of her figure, his own obese body lost its balance, falling down the stairs.
Cries of pain, the sound of his body sliding down the stairs, screams, the voices of people giving instructions and making arrangements rose and fell.
Lu Huai’an lay sprawled on the carpet, his whole body aching. For a moment, he thought of the trophy he had smashed, feeling that the bones in his body, like the crystal trophy, had shattered all over the floor.
In the center of the crowd surrounding him, Zhang Wenyin’s emotionless eyes met his.
And Lu Huai’an’s worthless self-esteem led him to believe that she was laughing at him.
Lu Huai’an painfully twisted his head, his gaze slowly crawling up the stairs like an ant.
He met another pair of eyes.
Eyes very similar to Zhang Wenyin’s, sometimes cold and indifferent, sometimes compassionate.
But at this moment, they were filled with an extremely rare emotion.
Lu You leaned against Yue Yunxi, looking down at him from above.
Those watery eyes rippled with many emotions, the most obvious of which was called “pity.”
Lu Huai’an suddenly remembered the last look his old mother had given him, it was also like this, with pity being the heaviest part of the complex gaze.
And the things that made them feel pity were completely different.
His mother regretted that her son, whom she had worked so hard to raise, had ultimately become useless.
Lu Huai’an shivered.
Not knowing if it was because of the pain, or because of something else.
–
Lu Huai’an was sent to the hospital, his new girlfriend accompanying him in the ambulance.
After dinner, the girlfriend called from Lu Huai’an’s phone to report his condition. Lu You didn’t care at all, only listening to one sentence before hanging up.
No more than five minutes later, the girlfriend called again from her own phone. Lu You thought it was a harassing call and didn’t answer.
Soon after, she sent a text message: [Please, answer, I can’t afford to pay the medical expenses!]
Only then did Lu You answer the third call, the other party saying, “He’s not dead, ask him yourself.”
“Hey, don’t hang up so fast! What if he doesn’t wake up?” The girl whined aggrievedly, “I don’t have that much money to pay his hospital bills.”
Lu You was silent for a few seconds, then asked, “How did you use his phone to call me?”
“By holding his hand and pressing his fingerprint–” The other end realized what she said, and suddenly went silent.
Lu You lowered her eyes, moved the phone away, pressed the end call button, and dragged all of Lu Huai’an’s contact information into the blacklist.
That day, after burning incense and kneeling to worship the old lady, Zhang Wenyin only stood in the corner where she could see Lu You. Several times she wanted to step forward to offer comfort, but she was too timid to take the first step.
Lu You didn’t have the energy to face her.
The mother and daughter just stood on opposite sides of the crowd and the ice coffin, in the same space, all night long.
Until dawn, seeing Lu You enter Grandma’s room, Zhang Wenyin had the courage to step forward, instructing Yue Yunxi, “I have a headache, I’m afraid I can’t go to the funeral home with you, take good care of her, if anything happens, call me.”
Yue Yunxi agreed, telling her not to worry and to go back and rest.
A door away, Lu You held the ceramic jar, listening to Zhang Wenyin’s footsteps fade away, before twisting the doorknob and going out.
She followed the hearse to the funeral home to send off the old lady’s remains.
Before the cremation, there was a farewell ceremony. Lu Huai’an arrived before the ceremony began, pushing a wheelchair in front of Lu You, “I’ll read the eulogy later.”
It was a tone of notification, not a discussion.
Lu You didn’t argue with him, just snatched the paper he was holding and looked at it.
It was a eulogy written by Lu Huai’an himself.
His girlfriend said, “His right hand is broken, he could only use his sprained left hand to write, he wrote it all night.”
A business partner helping to push the wheelchair said, “Mr. Lu is so filial.”
Lu Huai’an forced a smile, “It’s what I should do.”
On the paper, each word was written stroke by stroke, in the kind of font that a child just taught to write by their mother would use.
It was truly ironic.
“At her birthday banquet, she was sharp and alert, and the part she looked forward to most was you reading the congratulatory speech, but you had someone else write it for you. Now that she can’t hear or see, who are you writing this to read to?”
Lu You let go.
The paper floated down lightly.
The ground, only two days after the snow had melted, had lingering wet stains, soaking the paper, and a layer of dirt spread out the memory of the old lady watching her son read the congratulatory speech with tears in her eyes at her birthday banquet.
“Pick it up.” Lu Huai’an ordered his girlfriend.
Before he finished speaking, Lu You stepped on it, “If you really mean it, recite it from memory.”
She left the sentence behind and left straight away, without looking back even once.
Yue Yunxi did look back twice.
She only saw Lu Huai’an’s girlfriend pinching a corner and picking up the paper.
The paper was soft and damp from being soaked in the dirty water, full of stains, and shaking in the cold wind, giving a sense of dilapidation that could break at any moment.
The girl threw the paper into the trash can with a face full of disgust.
Withdrawing her gaze, Yue Yunxi followed Lu You for a distance, hesitantly asking, “Are you sure you want to let… him read the eulogy?”
“…Actually, I really don’t want to.” Lu You stopped outside the waiting hall, turning the photo frame, lowering her eyes to look at the young Ms. Wan Hua in the photo, her fingertip stroking from her clear eyes to her upturned lips, “But suddenly I thought of the day of the birthday banquet, Grandma was so, so happy to hear him read the congratulatory speech…”
She gradually choked up, unable to continue.
Yue Yunxi rubbed her head, “Then burn the eulogy you wrote to Grandma.”
Lu You nodded very lightly.
The memorial service was followed by cremation, which required a wait of forty-five minutes.
Estimating the time, Lu You went to the car to get the ceramic jar, opened the lid to check the inside, only to find that there was something in the jar.
Pulling it out, she couldn’t help but be stunned.
It was a pink letter paper rolled up, with a golden tie wire fixed in the middle, and words written around the outside.
“What’s this?” Yue Yunxi saw her subtle expression and asked a few more questions, “Did you put it in? Or did Grandma put it in?”
Untying the tie wire, Lu You scanned the opening content and said, “It’s a letter Grandma wrote in the Xicheng tree hole.”
Yue Yunxi raised her eyebrows slightly, already guessing that besides taking the finished ceramic back that time, she had also salvaged the letter from the tree hole, but she didn’t say anything.
First, it wasn’t the time to talk about this topic. Second, there was nothing to talk about. She had already revealed the thoughts on the letter.
“This… I remember it was placed in the drawer of the bedside table.” Lu You frowned, glancing at the ceramic jar in confusion.
“Did you remember it wrong? Did you put it in when you brought it back, and then forget about it?”
Lu You shook her head, “My memory isn’t bad enough to that extent.”
Yue Yunxi thought for a while, then guessed, “Maybe Grandma saw it when she cleaned your room and tidied up the things on your bedside table, quietly took it back, and put it inside.”
This was very likely.
Lu You grabbed the letter, “So this is… not wanting me to see it?”
Did she want to take it into the soil?
“I think, Grandma wants you to see it,” Yue Yunxi said.
Lu You raised her eyes to meet her.
Yue Yunxi’s eyes were very gentle, her voice was gentle: “Because she knows you very well, knows that the one who will pick up her bones will definitely be you, and only you. When you open the lid, you will see this letter. So I think, she doesn’t not want you to see it, she just wants you to see it later.”
Lu You’s slender and fragile eyelashes trembled lightly, half-lowered, her gaze falling on the first paragraph of the letter.
She only read half of it before she was interrupted by the staff telling the family to hold the ashes, she folded the letter and put it in her pocket.
Sorting out the remains, driving to the cemetery to place the urn, and returning to the small building to watch her relatives and friends leave by car.
The large house was finally not as crowded and noisy as it had been in the past two days. In contrast, a sense of empty desolation oozed from the silence.
Yue Yunxi received a video call from her teacher.
Lu You walked into Grandma’s room alone.
The bedding was folded neatly, and the sheets were also flat, with no trace of anyone having lain on them.
She leaned against the bed, sliding to sit on the floor, sitting in a ray of sunlight that poured into the room.
Throughout the process, the first sentence of the letter would pop into her head from time to time—
“I don’t know if this letter will really be salvaged by you, but I still want to write it to you…”
After she took the letter out of her pocket and slowly unfolded it, it fell on the paper from her mind:
“My dear granddaughter Yoyo, from the moment you came into this world, I became the happiest grandmother.
I still remember when you were nine months old, you went to get your birth certificate. You were very good, not crying or fussing in my arms. You were very pretty, everyone who saw you would praise you.
The nurse asked what your name was, your mother went to rest, and I couldn’t remember how to read or write that word.
I looked at you, and you were looking at me. It was the first time you spoke to me, before you could distinguish “you, me, him”, and gave me a brief self-introduction.
You said: You, jio, yoyo.”
What, so the name was registered as “Yoyo”, it was her own blunder.
Carrying the blame for so many years.
Is it heavy, Ms. Wan Hua…
The sunlight was receding diagonally from her body towards the window, like the tide, spreading from her upward-curving mouth to the ends of her downward-drooping eyelashes.
Her long eyelashes trembled slightly, and a mist of water fell, blurring her vision.
Lu You blinked hard and continued reading.
“Speaking of which, Grandma watched you grow up, followed you to learn to read and write, listened to you share your daily experiences, I live in your world, knowing your likes and dislikes, understanding your character.
But I have never let you understand me.
Understand what kind of person Wan Hua is.
I have an older brother and a younger sister at home, my father likes the clever and sweet youngest sister, my mother values boys over girls and only loves my brother, only I, who am neither up nor down, am the most eyesore.
Until I met your grandfather, I married him without hesitation, for love.
But marriage requires more than love, there is also firewood, rice, oil, and salt. Your grandfather worked and earned money in other places all year round, and rarely came home. I started a long-term marriage, and even pregnancy and childbirth were alone.
My son became the whole of my life. I raised him, gave him everything, and wanted him to become a dragon.
He was very promising, and was admitted to a top university. I was proud of him, but also increasingly painful, because the frequency of his returning home was getting lower and lower.
From returning once every two or three months to returning once a year, and then to returning once every two or three years.
Later, he brought home a girl, who is your mother.
Wen Yin is very beautiful and talented. I still remember her saying to me that she has no mother, and from now on I will be her mother.
She is also a kind and filial good girl.
But I am still not satisfied, I feel that she is not worthy of my son.
After she gave birth to you, she suffered from depression, and I only felt that she was too pretentious.
I cannot understand or empathize with her pain.
One day, we quarreled. It should be said that only I was quarreling, she did not respond to me, her attitude made me even more angry, and I fainted.
When I woke up, she had already been sent to treatment by your father. The job of taking care of you naturally fell on my head.
That was the happiest time of my life.
You would snuggle in my arms every day, smile at me, and call me Hua Hua, reaching out to hug me.
The first complete sentence you would say was, Yoyo loves Hua Hua, Hua Hua loves Hua Hua.
In your world, I am finally not someone’s daughter, someone’s wife, someone’s mother.
I seem to be your whole world, Wan Hua who is loved by you.
After half a year, your mother came back.
I think she must have said something to your father. Before she came back, your father sent me back to my hometown.
After your first birthday banquet, your mother started sending me discs, all of which were your videos. She meant well, but I was petty.
Watching you and her get along in the videos, I missed our time together even more. I was jealous and resentful, wanting her to completely occupy your world, not willing to free up a small space for me, and also wanted to declare sovereignty.
So when they were getting a divorce, I threatened to die, wanting Huai’an to fight for your custody.
Later one day, Huai’an sent you to me in the middle of the night, asking me to hide you, and I did.
People are watching what they do, on the day your father got custody, I injured my leg, and the old man was diagnosed with bowel cancer.
When I recovered and saw you again, I realized that Huai’an had not taken good care of you at all.
I regretted it very much, very much.
This feeling of regret, every time I found you thinking about your mother, would increase.
But it cannot