TFOD Chapter 100

“…”

Wei Wuxian said, “Let go.”

Lan Wangji raised his head and chest, maintaining a cold gaze. He leaned forward slightly, biting Wei Wuxian’s finger from the first joint to the second, his teeth clamping down harder.

Wei Wuxian said, “It hurts!”

Lan Wangji slightly loosened his teeth, and Wei Wuxian seized the opportunity to pull his finger back, rolling away. This bite made his hair stand on end. Anything that bit him made him think of dogs, and thinking of dogs made his skin crawl. Before he could roll far, Lan Wangji suddenly drew Sweep Away the Dust, forcefully stabbing it into the mat, pinning a corner of Wei Wuxian’s robe to the ground.

The clothes they were wearing were the ones they had changed into at Lotus Pier, made of a special fabric that wasn’t easily torn. Wei Wuxian was held back by this corner of his robe, so he couldn’t roll far away. He casually said, “Lan Zhan, look at you, you’ve poked a hole in the mat and the floor of the shop; you have to pay for it…”

Before he finished speaking, he felt someone grab the back of his collar and drag him back. Wei Wuxian’s back collided solidly with a chest, and Lan Wangji’s low voice came from beside his ear, “Pay!”

After saying that, he pulled Sweep Away the Dust from the ground, seemingly wanting to stab a few more times. Wei Wuxian hurriedly jumped back to stop him, saying, “Hold it! What’s wrong with you? How did drinking a little wine turn you into this? Doing such bad things.”

His tone was one of reproach. Lan Wangji looked at him, then looked at his own hand, and then at the hole in the floor. He seemed to suddenly realize what he had done, and immediately dropped his sword. Sweep Away the Dust fell to the ground with a dull thud, rolling away. Wei Wuxian held the sword’s scabbard in his right hand, and flicked his foot, picking it up. Sweep Away the Dust accurately and stably inserted back into its scabbard. He lectured, “Such dangerous things, don’t throw them around.”

Hearing this, Lan Wangji sat up straighter, lowered his head, looking like he knew he had done wrong and was sincerely accepting the lesson. It was always Lan Wangji who would sternly lecture him; only when he was drunk did he have the chance to turn the tables. Wei Wuxian folded his arms, with Sweep Away the Dust tucked under his arm, tilting his head to look at him, suppressing his laughter until his whole body trembled.

He really loved the drunk Lan Wangji!

The moment he was drunk, all the hesitation and difficulty Wei Wuxian had felt for the past few days instantly vanished, as if all the pent-up energy he had felt found a place to release. Walking two circles around the stiffly seated Lan Wangji, Wei Wuxian turned and sat beside him. He pinched the torn corner of his robe, showing it to him, and said, “Look at the good thing you’ve done, you ripped my clothes. You have to fix them for me later, you know?”

Lan Wangji nodded. Wei Wuxian asked, “Can you fix them?”

Lan Wangji shook his head. Wei Wuxian said, “I knew you couldn’t. If you can’t, then learn. Anyway, you have to fix my clothes. Got it?”

Seeing Lan Wangji nod again, Wei Wuxian contentedly picked up a cushion and, when no one was looking, covered the hole made by Sweep Away the Dust, saying, “I’ll hide this hole for you, so no one will find out that you caused the damage.”

Lan Wangji took the small, exquisite purse from his chest, presenting it to Wei Wuxian, shaking it as he said, “Pay.”

Wei Wuxian said, “I know you’re rich, keep it, keep it… what are you doing?”

Lan Wangji stuffed the purse into his chest. Wei Wuxian touched the heavy bulge on his chest and asked, “Is this for me?”

After putting the purse in, Lan Wangji pulled up Wei Wuxian’s collar and patted his chest, as if worried that he might drop it, saying, “Keep it safe.”

Wei Wuxian asked, “Really for me? So much money.”

Lan Wangji said, “Yes.”

The poor Wei Wuxian said gratefully, “Thank you, I’m rich!”

However, Lan Wangji’s eyebrows immediately furrowed. He quickly reached into Wei Wuxian’s chest, snatched the purse back, and said, “Don’t want!”

The money Wei Wuxian had just received was gone again. He was stunned and asked, “Don’t want what?”

Lan Wangji looked very disappointed and restrained, just silently shaking his head, dejectedly taking back the purse, looking a bit sad.

Wei Wuxian said, “Didn’t you just say you’d give it to me? Why aren’t you giving it to me now? You’re going back on your word?”

Lan Wangji turned his body away. Wei Wuxian grabbed his shoulders and turned him back, coaxing him, “Look at me, don’t run away. Come on, look at me.”

So, Lan Wangji looked at him. Both of them stared intently at each other’s faces, so close, they were close enough to count Lan Wangji’s long eyelashes. The clear sandalwood scent and the ambiguous wine fragrance mingled, lingering in the almost imperceptible breaths.

After staring at each other for a while, Wei Wuxian’s heart beat faster and faster. Finally, he couldn’t hold it any longer and was the first to retreat, shifting his gaze.

He said, “Alright! You win. Let’s play another game. Just like before, I’ll ask, and you answer, no lying…”

However, as soon as he said the first word of “play,” Lan Wangji suddenly said, “Okay!”

He grabbed Wei Wuxian’s hand and, like a gust of wind, dashed out of the room, down the stairs. Wei Wuxian was confused as he was pulled down to the lobby. The landlady and her helpers were eating around a long table on the first floor. Lan Wangji didn’t even look at them, his head lowered as he dragged Wei Wuxian towards the door. The landlady stood up and asked, “What’s wrong? Young masters, did the food not suit your taste?”

In his hurry, Wei Wuxian managed to say, “It did! Especially the wine; it’s really potent…” Before he finished speaking, Lan Wangji had already dragged him out of the inn.

They were already on the street, but Lan Wangji still didn’t stop, continuing his rapid pace. Wei Wuxian asked, “Where exactly are you going?”

Lan Wangji didn’t say a word, running to the yard of a house before suddenly stopping. Wei Wuxian found it strange and was about to ask when Lan Wangji held up a finger, placing it in front of his lips, saying, “Shhh.” He reached out and put his arm around Wei Wuxian’s waist, tapped his feet on the ground and then took them lightly to the eaves of the wall of the house, crouching on the tiles. He whispered, “Look.”

Seeing him being so mysterious, Wei Wuxian felt a little curious and followed his focused gaze, looking into the yard at a chicken coop.

“…” Wei Wuxian asked, “Is this what you wanted me to see?”

Lan Wangji said softly, “Go.”

Wei Wuxian asked, “What are we doing?”

Lan Wangji had already leaped up suddenly, landing in the center of the yard.

If the owner of this house were awake, they would surely wonder if a celestial being had descended to the mortal realm upon seeing a white-clad man with an extraordinary appearance and bearing arrive as the moon shone. However, what Lan Wangji was doing was not at all like a celestial being. He slowly searched around the yard. The more Wei Wuxian looked, the more he felt uneasy. He jumped off the wall, tugged at Lan Wangji’s forehead ribbon and asked, “What exactly are you doing?”

Lan Wangji touched his forehead ribbon with one hand and reached into the chicken coop with the other. The few hens, who were sleeping peacefully in the coop, suddenly woke up, flapping their wings wildly, trying to flee. Lan Wangji’s eyes sharpened, and with lightning speed, he grabbed the fattest one in his hand.

Wei Wuxian was stunned.

The yellow hen squawked in Lan Wangji’s hands. Lan Wangji solemnly presented it to Wei Wuxian. Wei Wuxian asked, “What is this?”

Lan Wangji said, “Chicken.”

Wei Wuxian said, “I know it’s a chicken. Why are you giving me a chicken?”

Lan Wangji said with a straight face, “To give to you.”

Wei Wuxian said, “Give to me… Alright then.” It seemed like if he didn’t take it, Lan Wangji would get angry again. Wei Wuxian took the chicken, saying, “Lan Zhan, do you know what you’re doing? This chicken has an owner. What you’re doing is stealing.”

The dignified and honorable Hanguang-Jun, if it got out that he went out and stole someone else’s chicken while drunk… He couldn’t imagine it.

But at this time, Lan Wangji only listened to what he wanted to hear, pretending not to hear anything he didn’t. He continued busying himself, and in the chicken coop, there was a chaotic sound of “clucking” and “squawking,” a horrible racket.

Wei Wuxian said, “I didn’t tell you to do this.”

Each of them carried a trembling hen. After climbing back over the wall and walking for a while, Wei Wuxian was still wondering why Lan Wangji suddenly wanted to steal chickens, did he want to eat them? Suddenly he noticed a chicken feather stuck to Lan Wangji’s dark hair.

With a “pfft,” Wei Wuxian couldn’t help it anymore and was about to reach out to remove it, when Lan Wangji once again leaped onto a tree.

This tree was in someone else’s yard, growing too well and having branches stretching beyond the wall. Lan Wangji sat on a branch. Wei Wuxian looked up and asked, “What is it now???”

Lan Wangji lowered his head and said, “Shhh.”

Hearing this, Wei Wuxian thought that what he was going to do next was probably similar to stealing chickens. He saw Lan Wangji reach out and pick something from the treetop, throwing it down. Wei Wuxian, with one hand holding the hen, caught it with the other. He looked at it and found it to be a half-green, half-red, round jujube.

Sure enough. After stealing chickens, he was now stealing jujubes!

Wei Wuxian wasn’t unfamiliar with stealing chickens and fruit. He even enjoyed doing it as a kid, often gathering a crowd for the boisterous escapades. But having Lan Wangji as his accomplice was astonishing. No, he couldn’t be considered an accomplice; Lan Wangji was clearly the ringleader.

Thinking about this, a thought flashed in his mind.

Earlier at Lotus Pier, when he took Lan Wangji to see the old grounds of Yunmeng, he had told him many stories about his childhood, including quite a few such “glorious achievements.” Could it be that Lan Wangji had listened, remembered, and was now eager to experience them himself?

It was very possible!

The Gusu Lan Sect had very strict rules. Lan Wangji had been confined to the sect since he was young, reading and writing. Every word and action was according to the standards set by his elders. He had never engaged in such unruly behavior. When sober he couldn’t do it, so he was doing it now that he was drunk?

Lan Wangji in the jujube tree was like the wind. Before long, he had completely cleared all the jujubes from the tree. He put them all into his Qiankun sleeve. Then he jumped down from the tree, opened his sleeve, and showed Wei Wuxian his “spoils of war”. Looking at these round jujubes, Wei Wuxian didn’t know what to say. After a long time, he praised, “…So big, so many, so impressive! Well done!”