SM Chapter 62

Chapter 62: Not Ugly, Not Ugly At All

The night was too long, and Ye Lai had a heavy dream. In the dream, memories were like birds flying across the sky, white wings cutting through the sky, leaving a deep, lingering trace.

The trace began from when Ye Lai had memories, the life in the orphanage, the nervousness and anticipation of being chosen each time, the first time he was adopted, and then being returned not long after.

Further back, the pale student days, the daily life and time were almost the same.

Until a volunteer came to the orphanage.

The volunteer was a middle-aged man who, in addition to donating to the orphanage regularly, would bring many gifts each time he came. The children would swarm around him. For the children, that was one of the happiest times, not only could they get gifts, but also a hug each.

The volunteer’s clothes were neat and clean, he had a faint cologne smell, and always wore a smile on his face. Everyone said he was a good person, kind and gentle.

Every time he saw Ye Lai returning from school, he would always say a few more words to him, chat about his school life, ask about his usual activities, and several times he waited for him at the school gate, took him to eat, and took him to the playground.

The volunteer would appear at a fixed time every month, and it lasted for more than a year. One day, he told the director that he was single and wanted to adopt a godson, not for anything else, but just so that his life wouldn’t be so lonely in the future.

Before the director could ask who he wanted to adopt, the person had already spoken, saying that he was very fond of Ye Lai.

Ye Lai yearned for a home, but that was also the beginning of his nightmare.

The birds in the air fell, the traces in the sky slowly dissipated, and memories crawled in the black hole.

For the first two years of being adopted, life was plain and peaceful, without any waves.

The dark and humid smell of the basement began suddenly from an ordinary night, pressing down on him.

The house was very secluded, with no one around. The basement was surrounded by thick iron walls, covered with rust, and the pungent smell of rust made his scalp tingle.

Calling, crying, no one could hear. He tried countless times to escape, but all failed, and what he got in return were only punches and kicks.

That “kind and gentle” person took off his disguised skin, revealing his original fangs and fierce eyes.

Ye Lai couldn’t distinguish between day and night, seasons and summers. The light overhead was on 24 hours a day, and the wind blowing in from the ventilation pipes was always stuffy, with a fishy smell of wet soil.

The old bed creaked, the quilt was always damp, food, water, poisonous insects under his feet, and the devil’s claws that reached for him would bring pain.

His body was stained with the smell of garbage, and the pain began from that time.

Time would slowly wear away a person’s desire to resist and break free, until the newspaper hidden under the pillow was discovered.

“Like this movie actor? Not bad taste, handsome, and talented.”

“No wonder you said you wanted to watch movies, I even got you a TV and discs.”

“The newspaper is hidden so tightly.”

“Give it back to me.” Ye Lai roared.

That newspaper was already dilapidated, with severely worn edges, and the creases had been carefully smoothed by him. He could trace the contours of the face on the newspaper with his eyes closed.

The newspaper was snatched away, and Ye Lai tremblingly climbed up, staggering to grab it, but was tripped hard, and fists and feet landed on his face and body.

“What’s the use of liking him? You can’t get out. I told the director that you ran away from home because of too much study pressure, and I also reported your disappearance to the police station. You’re already an adult, and if you disappear for a few more years, I can apply for a death certificate for you. By then, you won’t exist in this world.”

The shreds of the newspaper fell, covering the last bit of light and breath.

Winter.

Ye Lai knew it was winter. The wind from the vent was dry and cold, his clothes were too thin, and he couldn’t stop shivering from the cold.

“I found that movie actor, it took me a lot of time and effort.”

“But it’s a pity, now his eyes are blind, he had a car accident, at Guangming Hospital, I guess he won’t be able to make movies in the future.”

“Fu Xiang, did you do it?” Ye Lai pounced on him like crazy. (translator note: the name has been changed to Ye Lai because that is the name we have been using)

“Don’t get excited, I don’t have that much ability. I was just walking in the middle of the road, and he just wanted to avoid pedestrians. Don’t blame me, it’s just that the snow outside was too heavy, and the road was too slippery. If you want to blame, blame this heavy snow.”

At that moment, the anger in Ye Lai’s body exploded to the limit. His thin and weak body jumped up and pinned him down, desperately biting.

Finally, he ran out through the not-completely-closed door.

Went to Guangming Hospital…

–

–

The dreamscape shifted.

Ye Lai fell into a deep lake, the water flowing around his painful body. Sheng Mingqian pulled him out of the man-eating lake before he drowned.

His body was too painful, he bit Sheng Mingqian, and blood seeped into his body.

Ye Lai was a little obsessed with the subsequent scene. Sheng Mingqian kissed away the water droplets and tears on his body, with a curved red paint on the corner of his mouth, like a Clown.

Sheng Mingqian pulled the corners of his mouth to make him laugh.

Sheng Mingqian also said that he would be his Clown in the future.

The cell phone ringtone was caught off guard, followed by the smell of disinfectant.

Ye Lai hadn’t seen enough of the “Clown’s” smile, and mumbled a dissatisfied murmur.

Ye Lai turned over, groggily waking up. His body was dry, very painful, but it wasn’t a pain inside his body, it was skin pain, every inch of his skin was burning, as if there was fire constantly baking him.

“Little Yezi, you’re awake?” Li Xun pressed off the cell phone call. Seeing Ye Lai move, she knew he was awake, leaned over the bedside and looked at him, then touched his forehead.

“You scared me to death, you don’t have a fever anymore. I knocked on your door this morning and no one answered. People at the hotel said you came to the hospital last night.”

Ye Lai heard Li Xun’s voice, and also realized that he was lying on a hospital bed. He slowly propped open his sore eyelids.

The figure behind the white vision gradually became clear. Ye Lai saw Li Xun’s anxious face and smiled at her: “Sister Xun, I’m fine, you don’t need to worry.”

After saying that, Ye Lai slowly moved his neck, his gaze swept across the ward. The drip bottle above his head was still dripping, the back of his hand was stinging, the light on the ceiling was dazzling, the white bed, the white door, turned to the other side, empty, there was only him and Li Xun in the ward.

“Looking for someone? It’s just me in the ward.” Li Xun said, standing next to him.

Ye Lai straightened his head, and Li Xun asked him again: “Are you hungry? Thirsty? Your lips are cracked.”

Ye Lai shook his head: “Sister Xun, I’m not hungry, nor thirsty.”

“Not hungry, not thirsty,” Li Xun drawled, “Then later, if that someone named Sheng comes back with breakfast, I won’t let him give it to you.”

Ye Lai suddenly opened his eyes, his dark eyes looking at Li Xun.

Li Xun laughed at him: “Tsk tsk tsk, just now you couldn’t find someone, that disappointed expression, don’t be so obvious.”

Ye Lai hurriedly denied: “I didn’t, Sister Xun, don’t talk nonsense.”

As soon as he finished speaking, the ward door was pushed open, and Sheng Mingqian came in carrying a lot of things.

Li Xun swallowed back the words she wanted to tease him with, looked at Sheng Mingqian, and gave him some space: “Director Sheng, you’re fast enough.”

Sheng Mingqian first looked at Ye Lai on the hospital bed, and then said to Li Xun: “Thank you for your trouble.”

“I’m Ye Lai’s sister, in what capacity are you saying ‘trouble’ to me, Director Sheng?” Li Xun asked, folding her arms.

Sheng Mingqian was just about to speak when Ye Lai spoke before him in a hoarse voice: “Sister Xun, can you pour me a glass of water?”

“Okay, I won’t ask, your business, you can sort it out yourselves.” Li Xun didn’t pour water for Ye Lai, but directed Sheng Mingqian to pour it for Ye Lai, “I’m relieved that the test results are fine. I have a job to discuss, Director Sheng, please take good care of Ye Lai.”

Sheng Mingqian nodded: “I will.”

Li Xun waved goodbye to Ye Lai and left. Ye Lai didn’t come back to his senses until he couldn’t hear the sound of Li Xun’s high heels anymore.

Sheng Mingqian put the things in his hand on the table and poured a glass of water for Ye Lai: “The water is a little hot, let it cool down first, do you feel uncomfortable anywhere?”

“No.”

Ye Lai’s eyes were always on Sheng Mingqian. The last time he saw him was in a photo Zhang Yihao forwarded to him, which was taken from a movie publicity draft.

Sheng Mingqian seemed even more haggard than at that time, with a blue tinge under his eyes, his hair a little messy, and stubble on his chin.

Ye Lai’s eyes moved, his gaze falling on Sheng Mingqian’s rolled-up cuffs. His left arm was exposed, and there was a deep tooth mark on his arm, red and swollen all around, with blood seeping out, which made Ye Lai horrified and his teeth ache.

It wasn’t a dream, he bit him.

The water temperature was right, and Sheng Mingqian handed the water glass to Ye Lai: “Drink some water.”

Ye Lai sat up, licked his cracked lips, took the glass and took a big gulp.

“You.”

“You.”

The two spoke at the same time, and Sheng Mingqian let Ye Lai speak first.

“When did you come back?”

“Last night.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be running publicity?”

“Lin Han went for me.”

For the next city’s publicity activities, Sheng Mingqian asked Lin Han to attend in his place, and to make up for it, he invited two friends in the circle with considerable status to help out as guests.

“When can I be discharged?”

Sheng Mingqian said while unpacking breakfast: “There’s still an x-ray result to wait for, we’ll see it later. Other tests have already been done, and everything is fine except for some low blood sugar, so don’t worry.”

“I know… I know what’s wrong with me.”

Ye Lai didn’t want to expose this side of himself in front of Sheng Mingqian. He tried his best to avoid Sheng Mingqian when the pain attacks happened in those years.

The last time it happened in front of Sheng Mingqian, Sheng Mingqian thought he was acting.

Half an hour later, the full-body X-ray report was out, and everything was normal.

The doctor suggested that Ye Lai could go to the psychology department to have a look. The fever had subsided, the body organs were all normal, no other treatment was needed, and he could be discharged at any time.

Ye Lai was still very resistant: “I don’t want to go.”

Sheng Mingqian didn’t force him: “If you don’t want to go, we’ll go back and rest for a while first, and when you’re rested, we’ll talk about this issue.”

In the hotel, Ye Lai sat on the edge of the bed, holding his full-body x-ray, looking at it against the light above his head.

On the blue-black negative, his pale bones were printed.

“So ugly…” Ye Lai said, staring at the light piece.

“Not ugly.”

“Ugly, very ugly,” Ye Lai’s voice was as if it had been gnawed by the white bones, “Very ugly, after the flesh rots, there’s only a skeleton left, seemingly hard, but actually like ash, it shatters with a pinch, and scatters with a blow.”

Sheng Mingqian’s heart tightened when he heard this. He walked over, squatted by the bed, took the light piece from Ye Lai’s hand, stuffed it into the light piece bag on the side, and put it away, not letting him continue to look at it.

Ye Lai’s chin was tense, and he didn’t say anything.

The lines in Sheng Mingqian’s eyes deepened, he looked up and raised his hand, his index fingertip tapped Ye Lai’s forehead, his fingertip slid down from his forehead, saying “Not ugly, not ugly at all” every time he reached a place.

“Smooth forehead, watery peach blossom eyes, high nose bridge, white and translucent skin, like unmelted first snow.” Sheng Mingqian’s movements were very slow, his voice devout, as if he was stroking the most precious treasure, afraid to move too heavily.

Since returning from the hospital, Ye Lai had taken another bath, wearing only a gown. The front of the gown was hooked open by Sheng Mingqian’s index finger, his fingertip slid to Ye Lai’s collarbone and stopped, then to his chest, waist, and thigh.

Ye Lai wanted to dodge, but in the end he didn’t move, sitting there blankly, his fingers gripping the sheets tightly.

“Exquisite collarbone, thin muscles, slender and well-proportioned legs…”

“I hate my body.” Ye Lai kept his head down, watching Sheng Mingqian’s fingers slide over his body, like feathers falling on his body.

“Your body is fascinating.”

Sheng Mingqian’s words were straightforward, but without a trace of lust. He just wanted to let Ye Lai see how beautiful his body was.

Ye Lai’s heart trembled when he heard this. Sheng Mingqian’s index finger finally stopped on the scar on the back of Ye Lai’s foot, stroking it again and again: “Not ugly, not ugly at all, only the hardest and most beautiful bones can support such a beautiful body.”