SM Chapter 19
by VolareThis was the third time Sheng Mingqian had asked for the time. Lin Han, who was lying on the sofa, was almost asleep. He was nudged awake and quickly sat up to check his phone.
“It’s only seven,” Lin Han rubbed his eyes. “I didn’t sleep well last night, I’m so sleepy. Was I snoring just now?”
Sheng Mingqian was expressionless, “Yes, it was deafening.”
Lin Han stood up and rubbed his face. Sheng Mingqian reached out to him, “Give me a cigarette.”
“Didn’t the doctor say you can’t smoke?” Lin Han felt around his pockets. He had cigarettes but didn’t give him one. “If I give you a cigarette, Ye Lai will definitely make a fuss with me when he gets back. I can’t let you harm people.”
Sheng Mingqian looked at things through the gauze. “One won’t hurt. He won’t make a fuss with you.”
Lin Han didn’t give him one. He went to the kitchen to find something to drink. When he opened the refrigerator door, he exclaimed, “Wow, Ye Lai has really packed the refrigerator full. He has everything. Forget the cigarette, let me get you a bottle of juice. There’s also so much ice-cold beer.”
Lin Han grabbed a beer for himself and orange juice for Sheng Mingqian. “By the way, your agreement with Ye Lai is almost up, right? What are you planning to do with Ye Lai after that?”
Sheng Mingqian touched the gauze on his eyes. Unable to see, he inevitably appeared slightly duller than usual. He tilted his head back and took a sip of the juice, “We’ll see.”
“What do you mean ‘we’ll see’? Yes is yes, no is no. Why so complicated?”
Sheng Mingqian drank his juice in silence, not answering Lin Han’s question.
Lin Han took another gulp of beer and asked, “Do you know that Ye Lai came to me a while ago? He wanted the male lead in ‘The World on the Bough.’ I arranged a movie audition for him. Are you really not going to give him that role?”
“He’s not suitable for the role.” Sheng Mingqian’s voice was still cold, flatly stating a fact.
“I think Ye Lai is quite suitable. Whether it’s his image or his temperament, he fits the character perfectly. Don’t let his constant smiling fool you, I always feel like he has a contradictory and melancholy quality about him, and a bit…”
Lin Han held up his beer can, trying to think of the right word, humming with a long drawn-out sound.
He couldn’t quite put his finger on it. Sheng Mingqian spoke, “A bit what?”
“A bit… of a twisted quality to him,” Lin Han put down his beer can, explaining, “Of course, not the disgusting kind of twisted, but psychologically distorted, and then he tries hard to straighten himself out. Bai Yusheng in the novel is really miserable. If I were him, I’d probably have died several times over. Ye Lai always gives me the feeling that he can survive any hardship, that he can’t die but can’t live fully, yet you can’t quite grasp him. I don’t know how to describe it. I can’t explain this feeling. Hey, you’re the one who makes movies, you tell me, what kind of feeling is that?”
The juice going down his throat felt very cold. The gauze covered his eyes, and instead of pure blackness, there was a sense of emptiness deep inside. A short period of emptiness could bring peace, but a long period had the opposite effect, causing anxiety and an inescapable fear. Sheng Mingqian didn’t consider himself a weak person, but being unable to see for these past few days had indeed made him more sensitive than usual.
He was seriously considering Lin Han’s question. What kind of feeling was that exactly?
Lin Han waited for a long time without getting an answer from Sheng Mingqian, growing anxious. He rubbed his beard and nudged Sheng Mingqian’s shoulder, “So, are you going to give Ye Lai the role of Bai Yusheng or not?”
“We’ll see after his audition.”
“Again with the ‘we’ll see’! It’s so tiring talking to you,” Lin Han took another sip of beer, complaining through gritted teeth, “All these years, hasn’t Ye Lai ever mentioned wanting to run away?”
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Ye Lai had been absent-minded since waking up in the morning. When he went out in the afternoon, he was in too much of a hurry and didn’t bring his bag or drive. After leaving Zhang Yihao’s house, he stood at the intersection for a long time, eventually deciding not to go to that place today. He hailed a taxi and went back to his apartment.
This time, afraid of being recognized and photographed like last time, he grabbed a mask and hat from Zhang Yihao’s place, covering his face tightly.
When he got home, the living room was dark. Ye Lai felt for the switch on the wall and turned on the light, instantly illuminating the room.
Sheng Mingqian wasn’t there. No one was in the living room, and no one was in the bedroom either. Sheng Mingqian’s pajamas were draped over the side of the bed in the bedroom.
Ye Lai called Sheng Mingqian, but no one answered. He had no choice but to call Lin Han.
As soon as the call connected, Ye Lai impatiently asked, “Han-ge, where’s Mingqian?”
“I took him back to the villa. He said he needed to find something. He asked me to leave after I dropped him off.”
Lin Han sounded like he was sleeping, his voice groggy. Ye Lai said, “He can’t see.”
Lin Han laughed, “Ye Lai, you should go over and check on him quickly. Make sure nothing happens.”
Ye Lai hadn’t even taken off his hat and mask. He found his car keys and left, driving to the villa as fast as he could.
The gate opened automatically after sensing his presence. Ye Lai drove the car into the yard. The lights were on on both the first and second floors of the villa, and the area around the swimming pool was brightly lit.
No one was on the first floor. Ye Lai didn’t have time to change his shoes. His heels clicked on the floor, echoing in the empty living room.
“Mingqian, are you home? Are you on the second floor?”
Ye Lai ran up the stairs to the second floor. The lights were on in both the bedroom and the study. The study door was half-open, and the sound of rustling could be heard from inside. Sheng Mingqian was inside, sitting cross-legged on the floor with his back to the door, next to the desk. A large pile of things was scattered around him: books, files, and a pile of discs.
Sheng Mingqian was rummaging through the pile of things with both hands, making the ground even more chaotic.
Seeing that he was okay, Ye Lai breathed a sigh of relief. Ye Lai stepped over the things scattered on the floor, walking in through the gaps. “Mingqian, what are you looking for? Why are you in such a hurry?”
Sheng Mingqian didn’t even raise his head. The rummaging in his hands didn’t stop. “I’m not in a hurry.”
“If you’re not in a hurry, why did you come back at night? I’ll help you find what you’re looking for.” Ye Lai pushed aside the things at his feet and sat cross-legged on the floor, moving his legs so that his knees were touching Sheng Mingqian’s.
Sheng Mingqian felt his way along the discs to Ye Lai’s arm, and then up to the mask on Ye Lai’s face, pausing. He raised his finger and brushed against the brim of Ye Lai’s hat.
“Don’t you usually not wear a mask and hat when you go out? What time is it now?”
“Almost eleven,” Ye Lai took out his phone and looked. “I was photographed coming back from the pub last time, so I’m being very careful now.”
Speaking through the mask made his voice muffled. Sheng Mingqian felt for the thin string hanging behind Ye Lai’s ear and directly removed the mask from his face, then raised his hand and lifted his hat. “Just got back?”
His hair was messy after the hat was removed. Ye Lai shook his neck. “Just got back from Hao-ge’s place. After I got home, I found you weren’t there and you weren’t answering your phone, so I called Han-ge. He said you came back to find something.”
Sheng Mingqian moved his legs. Ye Lai noticed a small red book and a clear folder under his left leg.
The words on them were too obvious for Ye Lai to ignore.
The small red book was their marriage certificate. His own marriage certificate had always been kept in a drawer at home. He had never known where Sheng Mingqian’s marriage certificate was kept. So, it was in the study.
The clear folder contained their marriage agreement. Ye Lai knew the contents by heart, every clause and meaning was all too familiar.
Ye Lai propped himself up on his arm next to Sheng Mingqian’s leg, leaned over him, and reached for the marriage certificate and marriage agreement.
In this position, it looked like Ye Lai was leaning on Sheng Mingqian. The front of his clothes was touching Sheng Mingqian’s chest. The documents were pinned under several thick books, and Ye Lai struggled to pull them out.
Ye Lai steadied himself and waved the marriage certificate and marriage agreement in front of Sheng Mingqian’s ear. “Mingqian, you didn’t come back in the middle of the night to find our marriage certificate and marriage agreement, did you?”
Sheng Mingqian’s face changed, his jawline suddenly becoming sharp in the light. Ye Lai pursed his lips and said nothing, straightening his body and no longer touching Sheng Mingqian.
He didn’t want to bring up the topic, but Sheng Mingqian spoke first: “Do you remember how you married me back then?”
Ye Lai’s hand holding the marriage certificate twitched. His body tensed, maintaining his kneeling posture on his legs. When he spoke again, his voice was extremely flippant, like a protective layer that had suddenly grown, enveloping his uncontrollable heart.
“Of course I remember, it was very memorable. I threatened you, didn’t I?”
Kneeling for so long had made his legs a little numb. It felt like countless ants were crawling on the soles of his feet. Ye Lai changed his posture, supporting himself with his hands on the books on the ground. The sharp corners of the books pricked his palms, but Ye Lai still held onto the marriage certificate. He continued, “After the wrap-up party for the movie ‘Raw,’ I took advantage of you being drunk and went to your room and slept with you. Then, shamelessly, I recorded everything that happened that night from beginning to end. The next morning, you found the video and smashed the camera, but the memory card inside wasn’t broken…”
Sheng Mingqian pushed aside the mess around him and stood up, feeling for the corner of the desk next to him as he turned to leave. Ye Lai tilted his head towards the door, his neck forming a fragile arc. When Sheng Mingqian reached the doorway, he stopped him.
“That video is still on my phone. I often take it out to watch,” Ye Lai narrowed his eyes with lingering interest, his voice with a hint of provocation. “After your eyes are healed, do you want to watch it with me again? Our home theater screen is very large, and the sound system is excellent, surrounding the entire theater…”
“Ye Lai,” Sheng Mingqian interrupted him, “Do you know what you’re saying?”
Ye Lai seemed not to hear Sheng Mingqian’s words. He turned to look at him, the provocation in his voice disappearing, his voice filled with expectation and caution. “Mingqian, you haven’t seen the complete video, have you? Are you sure you don’t want to watch it with me again?”
“Keep it for your own enjoyment.” After Sheng Mingqian said this, he felt for the wall with both hands and quickly left the study, slamming the door so loudly that it shook the room.
Ye Lai trembled. His index finger touched the three raised words on the marriage certificate, slightly prickly to the touch.
When the sound of footsteps in the hallway had completely faded, he opened the marriage certificate. What came into view was the striking red-background double photo.
Ye Lai remembered clearly that it was winter, almost Chinese New Year. When they were taking the photos, the photographer asked them to take off their heavy down jackets and coats. Ye Lai, in order to take the photos, wore only a neat white shirt under his clothes that day. The night before, he had used an iron to flatten every wrinkle.
But that day was just his expectation. Sheng Mingqian sat in the chair, frowning and saying that he wouldn’t take off his coat. The collar of his coat was also a bit crooked, and his face was so pale that the photographer said nothing more, hurriedly pressing the shutter. At that moment, Ye Lai tilted his head to Sheng Mingqian’s side, smiling at the camera, while Sheng Mingqian looked cold.
Two wedding photos cost 99 yuan in total, symbolizing longevity.
Sheng Mingqian took out 100 yuan, took the photos and walked out, only Ye Lai waited for the cashier to give him a coin. At that time, he stubbornly insisted that the agreed 99 yuan had to be 99 yuan, not one yuan more, one yuan more was not right.
At that moment, he automatically ignored his and Sheng Mingqian’s agreement relationship, automatically ignored their most essential problems.
The civil affairs bureau was not busy that afternoon, three pairs got married and five pairs divorced.
Sheng Mingqian almost used the fastest speed to fill out the form and submit the information, the steel seal was stamped, the staff handed them two red books, Sheng Mingqian took his marriage certificate and quickly turned and left the civil affairs bureau.
It began to snow in the evening, Ye Lai went out from the civil affairs bureau and was blown by the cold wind, and then remembered that his coat was left in the photo studio, a thin layer of snow fell on the steps, Ye Lai walked carefully, thinking in his heart, don’t fall.
Life always seems to be like this, the more you fear something, the more it comes, there is still the last step, Ye Lai sucked in that breath of cold air and did not spit it out, his feet slipped or fell down, the hard and cold cement steps knocked on his back and hurt so much that his eyes went black.
The people passing by came to help him, Ye Lai struggled to stand up, his white shirt was covered with black snow mud, how could he not get it clean, the newly fallen folds on the shirt could not be patted flat.
That moment seemed to have foreseen everything in their five years of marriage, what was stolen was stolen, unclean and not smooth.