FBF chapter 7 part 4

Lee Jihoon dismissed Kang Youngsoo’s behavior as a love deficiency. I agreed, but sometimes I didn’t understand. Kang Youngsoo was the type who would go out of his way for anyone he was dating, as if he would give up his gallbladder for them. He would put aside his own identity and fit everything together for that person. This unconditional love, perhaps, made the recipient feel less special, as if they were receiving love that could be easily replaced at any time. It seemed that Kang Youngsoo was trying to find and fix his issues, but it always ended up like this. Perhaps because he was aware of this, I felt my heart soften in front of the quickly sulking guy. Just like now.

“…Wear the second one.”

“The second? The blue shirt? Is that prettier?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay, I’ll definitely wear that. I’ll iron it as soon as I go in and send you a proof shot. If I wear that and someone still doesn’t fall for me, then I’ll have to play it cool. ‘This is what my best friend chose for me, and if it doesn’t look good, then I guess we’re doomed…’”

Just by matching his rhythm once, Kang Youngsoo’s sulking expression vanished, and he grinned while trying to hug my neck. I was planning to brush him off, but his exaggerated act of pressing his lips against my cheek twice made me feel uneasy, as if there was some saliva left on my cheek. Ugh! Disgusted, I pushed Kang Youngsoo away just as Lee Jihoon appeared.

“…Well?”

One guy was sitting in the passenger seat, pushing his head out the window, and the other was glued to the door, trying to press his face against it. That was Lee Jihoon’s brief commentary upon assessing the situation. After realizing what was going on, he lifted his foot and kicked Kang Youngsoo’s butt.

“Ouch!”

“Take it and go. It’s so heavy.”

Rubbing his backside, Kang Youngsoo, while cursing, grabbed the paper bag handed to him. It looked at least twice as heavy as before. His shoulders instantly drooped. He quickly regained his balance and re-gripped the handle, but he started to whine towards me.

“My shoulder hurts…”

“If it hurts, go to the hospital. Or should I just pull your tongue out so you can’t make that short sound?”

At Lee Jihoon’s cold retort, Kang Youngsoo pouted and stepped back, as if trying to make way for the car to pass.

“Take care, guys. Don’t eat anything else until next week, but definitely don’t eat fondue. Got it~!”

Instead of his heavy hands, Kang Youngsoo nodded his head, and as Lee Jihoon looked back through the side mirror, he asked.

“What’s with this fondue nonsense?”

“It’s the dinner menu for next Friday.”

Watching Lee Jihoon frown as if he didn’t understand, I didn’t bother explaining further and turned my head away from the window. Anyway, I was scheduled for night duty on that day. Whether the two stuffed themselves in pajamas and feasted on fondue was none of my concern.

Having given a significant portion to Kang Youngsoo, the amount of food I needed to carry up to the house had drastically reduced. I couldn’t help but admire the neatly arranged trunk, where only the essentials were placed in the center while I looked at the scene. There was no one else who would patiently organize things like antifreeze and snow chains that were scattered in the corner of the trunk in the dark office building parking lot, even more so than in a supermarket parking lot, but Lee Jihoon.

Carrying one grocery bag with one hand and stacking the boxes of tangerines and sweet potatoes with the other, Lee Jihoon pointed toward the remaining items.

“Carry those.”

The remaining items were just a bag of dried persimmons and a bottle of Sikhye. Even that barely filled one grocery bag, leaving my hands light.

“Isn’t it heavy? Give it here.”

My extended hand was refused. Lee Jihoon, leaning his body back to prevent me from taking anything, commanded.

“Step aside. I’m closing the trunk.”

As soon as he stepped back from the trunk, Lee Jihoon lifted his foot and slammed the trunk shut with a bang. I had never thought of closing it like that. Blinking in surprise, I turned my head. Lee Jihoon had already walked to the front of the elevator, watching for when I would arrive.

“Hey. Hurry up and press the button.”

It seemed that pressing the elevator button with his foot was impossible. Reluctantly, I hurried toward the elevator, carrying the remaining items.

“Kang Youngsoo said he broke up?”

Lee Jihoon asked as he glanced at my belongings, still stubbornly clinging to what I was holding. It seemed he vaguely picked up on the conversation Kang Youngsoo and I had while sorting the trunk.

I nodded. I had checked the time before getting out of the car; it was 10:30 PM. I wished I could just sleep right away without eating, but I hesitated because I felt like Lee Jihoon would start nagging again.

Our eyes met through the mirror. It seemed he hadn’t seen me nodding since he was focused on the floor numbers. I swallowed a yawn and spoke up.

“Ah… yeah. He said he has a blind date tomorrow.”

“So?”

“What?”

“Did he kiss you and say to have a good time?”

As I paused, Lee Jihoon focused on me, almost synchronizing our movements. Our eyes met directly without any barrier, and since we were both waiting for the elevator doors to open, we were quite close. Suddenly, I remembered the question Lee Jihoon threw at me earlier. I wondered how tall he had been back during the physical examination. I vaguely recalled what Kang Youngsoo had said about him. While I didn’t quite remember, I was certain he was a bit taller than what I last knew. While aligning our eyes, I thought to myself that today, it felt like we were trapped together in this confined space way too often. It also seemed to build an unnecessary tension between us.

I cleared my throat and turned my head forward.

“What do you mean ‘kiss’? It’s not like he just started that.”

“Well, that’s true.”

Seeing him agree nonchalantly, it seemed there wasn’t any particular intention behind his words.

“……”

“……”

I had thought earlier in the car, but I couldn’t shake off the feeling that this was like a tug-of-war. Talking about kisses or anything that could be trivialized among friends felt like we were embarking on a conversation that we should never start as Lee Jihoon and I.

Avoiding looking back at Lee Jihoon, I focused on the changing numbers on the display. We had to enter the same house eventually, but for now, I wanted to get out of this small space as quickly as possible.

8… 9…

“Now that I think about it, you do everything except me. Kisses, sex, whatever.”

Ding- 10th floor.

Despite having waited for that announcement, I couldn’t move. Lee Jihoon stepped out of the elevator, leaving me frozen in place. I finally pressed the open button as I watched the doors closing. As the guy walked down the hallway, he turned back to look at me only when he stood in front of the door. His expression seemed to say, “Why aren’t you coming?”; it looked as if he was waiting for me to come open the door for him since my hands were too heavy with the bags.

Was it a trick of my mind that his voice seemed slightly twisted? I began to move my steps only after seeing the same indifferent expression on Lee Jihoon’s face that he always had while waiting for me. With each step I took, I tried to ignore the echoing thoughts in my ears.

When I finally reached the door, I set down what I was carrying. I had to drop the things I held to enter the password for the door lock, even if not as heavy as Lee Jihoon. As soon as my hands were free, Lee Jihoon spoke up.

“Hey. Hold on for a second.”

As Lee Jihoon handed me the boxes all at once, my hands became immensely heavier compared to before. Though startled, I felt my recently injured arm twinge as I gripped those boxes tightly. I could see him inputting the door lock code, with the items I had just placed stacked in one hand. Beep. With the sound of the door unlocking, Lee Jihoon held the door for me as if inviting me in with his foot.

I could have just opened the door myself, but why was he doing it this way? Even though I thought it was an incomprehensible action, I stepped in through the door. As I tried to take off my shoes, it was difficult, probably due to my formal shoes. Feeling frustrated, I decided to speak to Lee Jihoon.

“You go in first.”

With two grown men awkwardly standing near the entrance, it was too cramped. One of us had to take off their shoes and step inside for it to be easier. I expected Lee Jihoon to understand and act without needing further explanation, but he remained silent. Suddenly, the silence behind me felt strange.

“What’s wrong? I said go in…”

My action of turning my head to prompt him abruptly froze. I quickly realized that unlike me, Lee Jihoon had no intention of escaping this tight space, now with all the items put down.

“…Ugh!”

My body was suddenly pushed back. My back hit the shoe rack, and I staggered. To prevent me from falling over because of the weight of the boxes, Lee Jihoon stepped over my legs, standing right in front of me and looking down.

It felt just like the inside of the elevator. The only difference was that Lee Jihoon had closed the distance even more. Each time I blinked, he came closer. He moved slowly closer while locking eyes with me, almost as if giving me a chance to run away, but sadly, there was nowhere to escape. As I glanced down, I suddenly realized that as soon as I dropped these heavy boxes, they would without a doubt fall on top of Lee Jihoon’s feet, injuring him, making me lift my gaze back to his face.

I could hear Lee Jihoon’s breathing nearby. Fortunately, our eyes were close enough to meet. I swallowed a few times, trying to speak without any particular emotion.

“…Move.”

Even after hearing my strained voice, Lee Jihoon didn’t budge. He kept his gaze locked on mine, only moving his lips.

“If you hate it that much, drop the boxes.”

“……”

“Why? Can’t you do that because you love me too much?”

My jaw tightened as a muscle tensed up. In the meantime, Lee Jihoon stepped a bit closer. The distance was so much closer than when we had just sat facing each other on the couch. I could now even smell the faint scent of gum on his breath.

“…Don’t do something you’ll regret.”

At the moment our noses almost touched, that was the last thing I managed to say. Lee Jihoon smiled.

“Okay.”

Lee Jihoon pulled his face back for a moment. I briefly expected that he might actually step back, but that wasn’t the case. With a spring-like motion, he advanced even closer, and in the very moment his lips met mine, I realized that all this tension had actually been intended by him all along.