FBF chapter 11 part 1

I woke up to the sound of someone knocking on the wall. As I lifted my heavy eyelids, the first thought that crossed my mind was who could be making noise in the house while I was asleep. As expected, Lee Jihoon was standing by my side. He uncrossed his arms and lowered his hand from the wall. I could see the bent joints of his fingers slowly straightening out.

“Get washed up and come eat.”

With that, he left the room. Through the partially opened bedroom door, I could see his back walking toward the kitchen. I touched my face and sat up. The clock hanging in the room read 7:30 AM. Despite coming home well past 3 AM, I still had to leave for work on time today. Jihoon knew that, which is why he must have woken me up at this hour, and now he was likely preparing breakfast in the kitchen.

‘What kind of pathetic person would run away from someone they love?’

A week had passed since that day. Just like that, both Jihoon and I had remained silent about the incident, as if we had made some pact. As I saw his face turning away from me, leaving me in the bathroom, I thought this might be the last time for us, and that he might actually leave the house. But Jihoon didn’t do that. After going out and returning late at night, he didn’t leave the house the next day, or the day after that. He spoke to me casually as usual, woke me up for breakfast in the mornings, and it seemed he went to sleep only after seeing me return home from work. On the surface, everything seemed just as it always had been. However, both Jihoon and I hadn’t forgotten about that day. We simply chose silence, as we lacked the courage to bear the confrontation that would inevitably arise the moment we mentioned it.

I recalled Jihoon’s posture, which seemed to linger by my bedside for quite a while. Normally, he would have shaken me awake, but instead, Jihoon chose to knock on the wall until I got up. It was today that I became certain of this. Ever since that day, Jihoon had been avoiding contact with me in any form. As if he were being careful.

‘Instead, if we have sex, that would mean the end of our relationship.’

Was my threat the best option working on him? In order to stop him from rushing into kisses and sex, the words I spat out seemed to confirm that with him, any form of physical intimacy wouldn’t lead to the conclusion he wanted.

As I headed to the bathroom to wash up, I watched Jihoon’s busy back that was pretending not to hear my footsteps.

I didn’t know what Jihoon was thinking, but maybe this was our best approach considering we would have to live together for at least another month.

Egg roll, quail eggs in soy sauce, shredded squid, and napa cabbage kimchi. A steaming bowl of doenjang jjigae was placed among the side dishes, enough for just one meal. I looked down at Jihoon, who was sitting across from me and taking off a pair of kitchen gloves I didn’t even remember we had.

It had almost become second nature for me to skip breakfast after coming home late and fainting from exhaustion, only to rush to wash up the moment my alarm went off. That was also why I felt a sense of strangeness seeing the breakfast spread I was greeted with at the start of the week.

“Isn’t it bothersome to prepare this every time?”

After hesitating to ask, Jihoon looked back at me, spooning some jjigae. He frowned slightly and rebutted.

“What’s bothersome about this? If it were bothersome, how would I work? I do it because it’s manageable, so don’t worry about it.”

“I just thought it seems like you’re making an effort in the morning for no reason. If we were taking turns, that would be different, but you make it every day. I can skip breakfast. You don’t have to make me anything. Just eat at your convenience—”

“I usually wake up at this time on my days off. And the one with free time does it, so what’s the problem? It’s not hard to throw in another serving while I’m at it. Besides, it’s also to finish the side dishes Dad sent over. He sent a lot just for us to eat together.”

Having mentioned the side dishes my father sent along with the air fryer he insisted we use, he left no room for further rebuttal. It was only when Jihoon looked away, seeing me silent and holding my spoon that our meal continued, interrupted only by the clattering of utensils for a while.

“You talked in your sleep.”

It was Jihoon who broke the silence. My response was a dumbfounded question.

“…I did?”

“Yeah. I told you to get out of bed from outside the room, and you kept responding but didn’t get up, so I went inside and saw you sleeping.”

“Oh… Is that so?”

“Yeah. I feel like I need to clarify that it wasn’t intentional.”

Jihoon’s expression, as he said something he wouldn’t have wanted to explain just a week ago, seemed indifferent. It was as if he had become accustomed to the situation of having to explain why he entered my room. I looked at his face for a moment before thanking him. Jihoon didn’t respond.

I intended to finish at least one bowl of rice, thinking of the effort he put into preparing it, but I could hardly eat more than half. Moreover, there was a significant meeting scheduled that morning to review the final details before the operation. I had a lot to confirm and had to get to work early. As I checked the time and set my spoon down, Jihoon asked.

“Are you going to be late again today?”

The whole department was busier than usual in light of the big operation ahead. Since last Sunday, I hadn’t returned home before 1 AM. Though he didn’t always wait for me in the living room, hearing the sound of the front door closing had him peeking out to check on me, so asking about my lateness today was expected. I hesitated for a moment before nodding.

“Yeah.”

The scale of the operation was significant enough that all team members needed to be on deck. The overnight duty room had been occupied all week. I hadn’t stayed overnight at the duty room, knowing Jihoon would be waiting for me at home. Truthfully, it was due to his words about ‘abandoning’ me that weighed on my mind.

I wondered if Jihoon would wait for me again today. Given that he always filled my bowl despite seeing me leave half-full, it was likely. I glanced over at him, gauging his reaction, and spoke up.

“I think I might… be really late today. I might not even make it back.”

I started to add not to wait for me, but held back, thinking it would be an unnecessary comment.

Jihoon frowned slightly and seemed about to say something but clamped his mouth shut when our eyes met, as if he were holding back whatever he wanted to say.

“Alright. Make sure to handle that Youngsoo brat yourself.”

“Kang Youngsoo?”

“He’s been pushing you to hang out, right? Since Wednesday, he’s been going on about fondue, fondue, so I was going to send him off to Switzerland.”

“Oh….”

Now that I thought about it, that was true. I had completely forgotten about mollifying Youngsoo, who had been throwing a tantrum since it was just the two of us living together. I had anticipated that I wouldn’t be able to join in, but failing to communicate that to Youngsoo and letting him hear it through Jihoon was my mistake. Jihoon saw me biting my lip in regret and stood up with his bowl in hand. Not saying anything more indicated he had never expected me to remember it.

I sighed and started my apology.

“I’m sorry. I’ll call to tell him not to come.”

“Forget it. That brat has already bought a machine. I might as well smash it to pieces.”

Though Jihoon brushed it off as if it were no big deal, I couldn’t take my gaze off his back, feeling guilty. This strange sense of guilt was likely due to what had happened that day. As if sensing my gaze, Jihoon turned to face me but met my eyes.

It was the longest eye contact we had since this week began. Jihoon shut his mouth as if suppressing something again. But realizing he couldn’t hold back any longer, he spoke.

“Will things be less busy after today?”

It was a question with unclear intentions, but I couldn’t answer with unbridled optimism. I thought about the operation planned for that night. It was a case that could tie in not only the director Kim Myung-rim, who was identified as the organizer of the drug party, but also many other celebrities involved. The team was on high alert. Jihoon’s gentle yet sharp gaze, and my silence indicated we were both aware of the tension looming ahead.

Seeing me hesitate to answer, Jihoon sighed and turned his back. As he splashed water over the dishes, he paused for a moment. The silence didn’t last long. Jihoon’s low voice cut through the sound of running water.

“I received a call from the hospital. They tried to set an appointment for testing and sent a text as well, but they couldn’t get through to you. They asked if this contact info was correct.”

“…”

“I get that you’re busy. But can’t you spare a little time in the morning to go? If you do, I won’t nag you anymore.”

Unlike me, who could easily brush off the fact that I had been getting nosebleeds three to four times a week, it seemed Jihoon found it harder to do so. His concern for my health was a particular expression of care that only someone who was close enough would show.

I nodded heavily, reflecting on the weight of that care more than ever today.

“Once we get through the busy stuff….”

“…”

“I’ll go right away to get it done. It’s just a bit tough right now.”

After a brief pause, Jihoon nodded and put on rubber gloves. It marked the end of our conversation. As I stood to leave, I stopped in my tracks just before exiting the kitchen. There was a coffee machine sitting deserted at the entrance leading from the kitchen to the living room. I had long forgotten when it was purchased; Jihoon likely placed it there.

Noticing the silence of his footsteps, Jihoon, who was headed towards the sink, explained briefly.

“I took it out because it was broken. You can send it for A/S or just throw it out.”

The coffee machine from Jihoon’s house flashed in my mind. Maybe it was because of his frequent absences due to flights, he didn’t seem to take much care of items in the house, yet he always invested in the best coffee machine.

After a moment’s hesitation, I spoke up.

“Just throw it away. I’ll buy a new one.”

I expected Jihoon to agree, but instead, he turned his head away.

“Why do that? How long do you think I’ll be around?”

His ambiguous words were laden with meaning. My gaze lingered on Jihoon’s side profile as he rinsed a plate.

“Hey.”

“…What?”

“I think your phone is ringing.”

Realizing my phone was vibrating only after meeting Jihoon’s gaze, I took it out of my pocket. Checking the name on the screen, it was the captain.

“Yes, Captain.”

As I spoke on the phone while grabbing my wallet and car keys, I took one last look at the kitchen before stepping out of the house. Jihoon was still standing in front of the sink. Even until the door closed, he didn’t turn back to look at me or say goodbye. Just like every time this week when I hurriedly left.

I only finished my call with the captain when I arrived in the underground parking lot. Considering the noises behind the captain, most of the team members seemed to have already clocked in. Though there was still time until the official start of working hours, it also meant it was better to be early. I recalled how the captain’s call ended, urging me to come up to my office as soon as I arrived at the police station.

Driving while nursing a throbbing headache, I accidentally noticed a small café by the roadside. A girl around my age with her hair tied up was placing a sign at the cafe’s entrance. I couldn’t tear my eyes away from the word “coffee” printed on the glass.

I checked the time again. Considering the driving time, I didn’t have much to spare, but I ultimately turned the steering wheel toward the café.

Less than 20 minutes after turning onto the spiral road leading home, I couldn’t find Jihoon. Turning my head away from the perfectly organized sink without a trace of anything used, I noticed the bathroom door was closed and the faint sound of water made me realize he was in there. I briefly paused at the entrance, suppressing my footsteps as I walked toward the kitchen. After setting down a coffee cup on the table, I intended to leave again but changed my mind and took a sticky note from the living room drawer. I hesitated over what to write but, the moment I picked up a pen, only one sentence came to mind.

[Sorry]

I had barely put down the pen when I received a call from Jung Sunbae. Carefully closing the door behind me, I ran down the hallway with my phone in hand. I really had to hurry now.

I barely made it on time at the police station. As soon as I arrived, the captain was waiting for me at the entrance, telling me to come find him immediately. Considering his impatient personality, it was not surprising, but considering he could take time out of his busy schedule to wait for his distant junior, it was questionable. Especially since this personal office, where he was leading me, was where he rarely visited unless something special was happening, given his disdain for pretense.

As evidence, he passed through a table piled high with endless printouts before opening a window for me to speak.

“Have you eaten?”

“Yes.”

“Good. Now, Detective Ji, we’re short on time, so let’s finish quickly and go.”

I shifted my attention from the dust rising off the window sill to where the captain’s body had returned to face me, his eyes fixed on me without wavering. Even as an average-looking man that one might encounter on the street, that gaze made me wonder if his demeanor was intentional when we locked eyes.

He was someone who had been here long before I had made my decision to join the police force. His depth of experience was incomparable.

“Do you have something with Choi Jeong-ho?”

He dropped a printout on the desk in front of me, positioned such that I could confirm it. The thick printout clearly stated “16-20 Taehang Construction Legal Due Diligence Report.” It was information I had no excuse to be unaware of.

I slowly averted my gaze and shook my head.

“Nothing.”

As if anticipating my answer, he continued quickly.

“What about Cha Hyuk-jun?”

He waved a stick over the printout. Another document hidden beneath the thick stack was revealed. The white paper displayed pictures and statements of actors who agreed to testify about the drug party, promising protection as witnesses. My attention was drawn to the rookie actor from Hyunwoo’s agency, the biggest piece of evidence at play. He looked even younger than I had expected.

“Cha Hyuk-jun has been in the industry for five years and has never mentioned his family in any small magazine interviews that an inexperienced rookie would find themselves doing. Not a single person among the entertainment reporters knows anything, so whether that is by choice or not, that means the info is being treated entirely off the record for them.”

“……”

“That means the information that actor Cha Hyuk-jun is the son of former CEO Choi Jeong-ho leaked through you first. Got it?”

His eyes pierced through me, sharp and scrutinizing.

“Have you been steadily digging into Taehang Construction and gathering data? There are plenty of politicians cover for them, so you likely haven’t dared to touch it, but I can believe that your seniors have at least made a folder here.”

“……”

“Did you hear rumors connecting Cha Hyuk-jun to the drug party organized by Director Kim Myung-rim and jump in? If you have reliable sources, it would be possible to gather evidence. I can also let that pass.”

The poking at the printout ceased.

“But the fact that Cha Hyuk-jun is Choi Jeong-ho’s son and could possibly be a middle supplier providing drugs to Director Kim Myung-rim sounds suspicious.”

“……”

“From here, something about the flow seems off, doesn’t it?”

His blade-like eyes warned me, penetrating deeply. My instincts told me that from this moment forward, my answers would determine whether I would be able to go out in the field later that evening.

He didn’t shift gears for further questioning and simply asked, “You understand you haven’t answered my question about your relationship with Cha Hyuk-jun, right?”

“……”

“I’m not asking twice. Answer straightforwardly. Are you emotionally involved?”

It was a simple question. It reminded me of the seniors who had been summoned to answer similar questions. The captain was an exceptionally calm person when it came to such matters. He would remove anyone who might have an emotional involvement in a case from the team. His professional demeanor had become a topic of gossip within the team; a rumor, whether true or not, that one of his juniors who lost a colleague couldn’t restrain himself and charged at a drug dealer in the past. If true, it would be something worthy of respect.

That is, until it became my problem.

I blinked away the tension in my shoulders and kept my eyes steady. I knew that exerting too much force in this situation would backfire. When our eyes locked, I relaxed my shoulders and whispered.

“We were high school classmates.”

“And?”

“Yes, I have feelings.”

I wondered how those seniors responded when they faced the same questions. At the very least, none of them would have admitted so directly that they had feelings. But I knew that it would have been pointless to lie here.

“However, I’m not planning to let that affect my work.”

“…….”

“I know better than anyone that this attitude would be more beneficial for getting a conviction. If I planned to sabotage things, I wouldn’t have waited this long.”

His expression turned cryptic as if he understood something in my gaze. Although I was unsure of his thoughts, I was certain to an extent. That’s why I was able to say it.

“If we’re going to catch Cha Hyuk-jun, I need to go. Captain. Please let me.”

“What about the captain?”

“He said he would step out for a moment to take a call.”

Sunbae Ha, who nodded in acknowledgment, passed by with a cigarette in hand. The meeting wouldn’t start unless the captain came down anyway, so he probably aimed to have a quick smoke before the captain arrived. I considered following but ultimately halted. My phone had vibrated, and the moment I checked the screen, I saw it was a message from Jihoon.

—

Lee Jihoon

9:38 AM

In the photo, he was playfully holding up a coffee cup, grinning. It seemed like it was taken immediately after he came out of the bathroom, his hair still wet. Just seeing him smile brightly for the first time in a while calmed my nerves, which had been on edge. The throbbing in my head had lightened up significantly.

Lee Jihoon

I’m having coffee and a sandwich for lunch, and fondue for dinner. 9:40 AM

So, am I American or Swiss? 9:41 AM

His messages read as if he were talking right beside me. I couldn’t help but chuckle. Noticing the numbers beside the messages were disappearing in real-time because I had the window open, I finally mustered the resolve to reply.

9:42 AM Korean

Similarly, the numbers next to my message were vanishing quickly.

Lee Jihoon

ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

Sometimes, I think you’re the funniest. 9:42 AM

Staring at his message composed solely of consonants, I imagined his laughing face, feeling lost. I scrolled slightly higher; when I pressed and held Jihoon’s photo, a prompt appeared asking if I wanted to save it.

“Detective Ji, the captain has come down.”

“Oh, yes. I’ll be going in.”

Using busyness as an excuse, I pressed the save button and tucked my phone into my pocket. Just before leaving the hallway, I halted, my gaze caught by a curled-up leaf. A slant of fragmented October sunlight fell over it. I pulled my eyes away and moved on with my steps.

Had the leaf been discarded by autumn, or was it simply let go? If even a bystander like me couldn’t be sure, perhaps the two involved were also wandering through the same spot in different ways each time.

“What should we do? I think I’m more nervous than when we were shooting the film.”

The actor sitting in the chair looked anxious. As the white van entered the path and the surroundings gradually grew quiet, he pulled back the curtains to check outside or turned to glance at the seniors sitting in front of me, asking questions.

“Will everything really end without any incidents?”

For the operation, we needed bait. Direct contact from Director Kim Myung-rim’s side to Hyunwoo’s agency right before tonight’s drug party was a stroke of luck that aligned perfectly. The actor’s agency, which didn’t raise any concerns despite the rookie being caught having drugs, likely trusted their standing, and Director Kim Myung-rim was bold enough to invite an actor to a drug party through the agency’s boss. Underpinning this were the respect and confidence that this industry operates within their control.

At the same time, involving any related persons in that manner was a way to secure their loyalty, ensuring that no matter what occurred later, they couldn’t cut ties and flee. It seemed they had been showcasing their influence and creating an environment that was hostile to whistleblowers.