FBF chapter 10 part 3

“…What’s going on? When did you get here?”

I snapped back with a hoarse voice while patting the back of my head. I had no idea how long he had been watching me sleep. Lee Jihoon didn’t answer and tossed aside the dog ear he had in his hand. He suddenly sprawled out on the spot where I had just been lying, making a sound as if he were in pain. He was dressed in a white t-shirt and black shorts. I glanced at the clock on the wall and gulped nervously. When I saw it was 10 o’clock, I felt flustered. Even on weekends, it wasn’t usual for me to sleep this late. Moreover, the alarm I set for every day must have gone off today as well; why hadn’t I heard it?

In front of my bewildered self, Lee Jihoon threw something my way.

“Looking for this?”

It was my phone.

“…Why do you have this?”

“Since the alarm was ringing non-stop, and you didn’t seem to have any intention of waking up.”

The guy responding with a tone of indifference was comfortably lying on the pillow I had just been using, his eyes closed while wedging the pillow between his legs. His hair was fluttering in the breeze from the fan. Speaking of which, why was there a fan in my room?

There were so many things in front of me that I couldn’t understand. I picked up my phone and checked the alarm, which was shut off, and I hesitated before asking.

“What time did you come?”

On weekends, I usually set my alarm for 9. Judging by Lee Jihoon’s words, he must have heard the alarm, which meant he had been in this room for at least an hour. Lee Jihoon yawned widely and stretched his arms up as if he were getting ready for a workout, replying smoothly.

“Don’t you know? Was it eight or eight-thirty? Dad said he was going fishing with your grandpa, so I came along.”

“Ah… he went?”

“He left a while ago. Both of them are so impatient, you know. They paid to make you breakfast and didn’t even look back when they left.”

Only then did I start to piece together the situation. It wasn’t unusual for Lee Jihoon to come to my house occasionally for fishing, whether it was to pick up my grandpa or for us to send them on their way. The only difference was that this was the first time Lee Jihoon had come into my room to wake me up. Now that I understood what was going on, I got up from my bed. I figured I needed to wash up first.

“Where are you going?”

Lee Jihoon grabbed my foot as if trying to prevent me from leaving. The sensation of his cheek against my bare instep sent chills down my spine. I tried to shake my foot off, but the strength of Lee Jihoon’s arm wrapped around my ankle only seemed to tighten. This kind of prank was something Kang Youngsoo usually did. The only difference was that I didn’t struggle this hard when I brushed off Kang Youngsoo. I couldn’t manage to keep a straight face as I looked down. Our eyes met as Lee Jihoon peeked at me with one eye open, looking up.

“What are you doing? Move aside.”

“Where do you think you’re going without me?”

“…I’m going to wash up.”

“Let’s wash up together then.”

It was absurd from the start of the morning. Lee Jihoon started giggling at the expression on my face.

“We’re married again. You’re so eager.”

With a light jab, the foot he had been holding was freed. Lee Jihoon, who had just been lying around, pushed on my back. I found myself pushed out of the room and across the living room, finally stopping in front of the bathroom. He opened the door and whispered in a soft tone close to my ear.

“Hurry up and wash up, dear. I’ll prepare steamed eggs beautifully for you.”

He slapped my butt and stepped back. Hey! I shouted after him, but he was already rushing to the kitchen. Is he really crazy this early in the morning? Just as I was about to chase him, I caught sight of my reflection in the mirror and stopped. My ears and neck were all flushed red.

I had no answers. I didn’t even know that I liked him, yet there he was, acting all bold. Nor could I understand why I was being drawn into the antics of that bold guy. I muttered a curse while turning on the water. I needed to calm the heat rising in my body.

When I came out of the shower, breakfast was indeed served. Even if it was the usual side dishes commonly found at home, the steamed eggs were definitely made by Lee Jihoon just moments ago. As if he felt my gaze, Lee Jihoon, who had just set down the doenjang jjigae on the pot holder, looked over at me. I had some questions in mind, so I didn’t hesitate to ask.

“You said to order food, yet why did you go through the trouble of cooking?”

Seemingly anticipating the question, Lee Jihoon looked away and handed me some utensils.

“Why order something for breakfast? With that money, you can either buy lunch or dinner.”

It was just a trivial matter, yet I ended up swallowing hard. It felt like he meant he would stay until lunch or dinner, which strangely stirred up feelings in me.

“…Are you not going to the academy today?”

Lee Jihoon seemed taken aback by my unexpected question. He wrinkled his brow, looking as if he was trying to recall something he had completely forgotten about. But for a moment, he casually moved the utensils around.

“Look.”

It was an ambiguous response, but it didn’t mean he was skipping it. I nodded absentmindedly and began to eat. It was obvious for me not to go to school on weekends during the vacation, but I knew that Lee Jihoon could still go without a weekday or weekend distinction.

Suddenly, I felt a jolt as our knees bumped under the table, and when I looked up, Lee Jihoon was staring at me intently.

“By the way, why did you text me in the early morning?”

“…What?”

“You asked where I was. You texted me at midnight.”

He was referring to the message I sent last night. The way he spoke sounded as if he found it strange that I even sent the text. Was it now natural for me not to speak about whether we were carpooling or not? I felt a surge of unfairness at that thought, but somehow voicing it felt like it would hurt my pride. I averted my gaze first and replied bluntly.

“I didn’t see you come down for the van, so I just wanted to check. Forget about it.”

“What nonsense is this? Didn’t you get my text last night?”

“…What text? I didn’t receive anything.”

As I looked up, I saw Lee Jihoon looking more flabbergasted than I was. After gazing at me for a moment longer, he suddenly shot up.

“Wow, this guy really makes me want to scrutinize people.”

“Wait, hey. Where are you going in the middle of breakfast?”

“I’m going to get your phone. Why?”

In less than three seconds, Lee Jihoon returned holding my phone. He dropped it casually onto the round table and gestured at me.

“Open it.”

“What for?”

“Check your messages.”

“Why?”

“What do you mean why? You claim you’ve never received a message from me. I sent one, but you didn’t receive it. That doesn’t make sense, does it?”

The way he crossed his arms indicated he wouldn’t move until I checked my inbox. Feeling pushed, I picked up my phone and accessed my message inbox. Just then, I noticed there was a new message from Lee Jihoon.

The text that came in at 3 AM looked quite baffled, just as Lee Jihoon did earlier. As I touched my phone, Lee Jihoon leaned in, watching intently as I opened it.

“Wait, not that one. Did I text you on Ahn Hee-yeon’s phone number?”

“…Ahn Hee-yeon’s phone?”

“Yeah. My phone died at the academy yesterday, so I borrowed Ahn Hee-yeon’s to send you a message. This is strange. I checked that it was sent back, but why didn’t you get it? Isn’t your number this one?”

Lee Jihoon rattled off my number in order.

“…That’s correct.”

As he pressed down on the keypad with a puzzled look, Lee Jihoon suddenly let out a hollow laugh, as if he had found an answer to something.

“Hey, found it. Here it is.”

In unison, he handed my phone back to me. The first thing that caught my eye on the screen was the label that said spam folder. Among the various advertising messages flooded with special characters, a simple text message without any special characters stood out. Clicking on it revealed a full page of messages.

I never even thought that he would text someone using another person’s phone. Even less so did I expect that the message would end up in my spam folder. Lee Jihoon seemed equally incredulous and chuckled, snatching my phone from my hand and tossed it aside. Staring blankly at the phone rolling on the table, I lifted my gaze when I felt his eyes on me. Lee Jihoon looked overwhelmingly playful as he continued speaking as if he had been waiting.

“Did it upset you?”

Even though it shouldn’t have, the moment felt like he had found out all the thoughts I had last night. My heart raced unexpectedly. I quickly opened my mouth.

“I’m not a child; it’s ridiculous to get upset over something like that.”

“Why? If it were me, I would have felt hurt.”

“…….”

“While I sent a text to ask where you were, I would have called instead. If you didn’t pick up, I would just show up at your house.”

Despite his joking smile, his tone was serious. Seeing me at a loss for words, Lee Jihoon let out a snicker and shrugged his shoulders.

“Anyway, Ahn Hee-yeon’s phone was wrong. I heard she recently changed her number; must have been from a spammer who owned the previous phone.”

He wrapped up as if to punctuate his statement, then resumed eating. I felt uncomfortable at his words. It was ridiculous that I was overthinking things all night without knowing that. I hesitated before putting my spoon down.

“Did your uncle visit?”

“Yeah. Just for a bit. He ate sashimi and went back up in the morning. He said he was busy.”

I had heard about Lee Jihoon’s uncle on several occasions. He was quite a bit younger than Lee Jihoon’s mother and had always been attached to her since childhood, showing her a lot of affection. Perhaps that was why even after Lee Jihoon’s mother passed, Lee Jihoon’s father and he maintained a close relationship without any barriers. I was aware that his profession as a military officer had influenced Lee Jihoon’s decision to apply to the Air Force Academy.

“…Is he okay?”

And I also noticed how Lee Jihoon would exhibit signs of distress whenever he came to Taean. Everyone said that when Lee Jihoon’s father drank with his uncle, it would end up like that. I had a hard time imagining someone usually so cheerful would break down in tears, but Lee Jihoon’s expression while saying it was vivid. He had described before how he couldn’t believe it.

“My uncle and my mom were nothing alike. But I guess it didn’t matter. It felt like my dad just needed an excuse to cry.”

Since that day when I consoled him after he cried while hugging me with his mother’s keepsake photograph, I hadn’t seen Lee Jihoon cry again. He probably hadn’t allowed himself to cry in front of me or anyone else either. A person who could not even tolerate seeing his own father cry couldn’t possibly allow himself to cry. Sometimes, I felt like that stubbornness was what held him together.

Even now, instead of crying, Lee Jihoon was grumbling as if he were fed up.

“Dad’s not okay. He probably shed tears over even three glasses of soju.”

“…….”

“Yesterday, for some reason, both of them were blubbering and it was chaos. I swear, I can’t even remember how we ate sashimi.”

Suddenly, Lee Jihoon fell silent and began staring at me. More accurately, he was looking past me, at something behind me. I turned around to see if something was there in the yard, but there was nothing special to see. Just the summer sun relentlessly chasing down in every corner of the yard without mercy.

“Ah… I don’t want to study.”

He muttered as he turned back to me. For a sudden confession, his expression was quite serious.

“Hey. Want to go bike riding?”

We rode our bicycles along the coastal road, swerving and weaving around each other so much that it was hard to say who was leading. We pedaled until both of us were breathless. This place was familiar to us; it was where we usually came to watch fireworks. Come to think of it, when did they say the firework show would be? Just as I barely recalled the date that Kang Youngsoo had been excited about, Lee Jihoon tossed me a water bottle.

I took a sip of water and sat down next to Lee Jihoon. He was sprawled out on his back in the pavilion with his arms and legs stretched out. Was it because we had just recently climbed up the hill at a mad pace? I could visibly see his chest rising and falling rapidly. I was similarly out of breath. As I wiped my sweaty forehead with my shirt, my eyes wandered to the view below the cliff. The only sound filling the pavilion was our heavy breathing.

Gradually, our heavy breaths evened out. The first to speak was Lee Jihoon.

“You’ve become quite close with Choi Hyukjun. You’ve even texted.”

I found myself halting at his unexpected question. I looked down at where Lee Jihoon lay, but I couldn’t see his face. The sunlight coming in through the window made his sleeping face seem somewhat pale.

“There are symptoms of drug addiction that include the following; most notably significant changes in appetite or sleep patterns. Unlike before, some may find it difficult to sleep properly or might sleep excessively.”

The symptoms of drug addiction I had looked up on the computer when I couldn’t sleep one night came to mind. Was it because Lee Jihoon mentioned that, now I found it challenging to accept Hyukjun’s appearance which I had viewed lightly in the first semester? After hesitating for a moment, I looked down.

“What do you mean by that?”

Lee Jihoon gazed at the sea as he slowly opened his mouth.

“Do you know Park Cheol-seung did glue?”

It was something I had never heard before.

“Rumor has it that at some point, that wasn’t enough for him, and he started dabbling in other stuff, and Hyukjun happened to be nearby at that time.”

In that instant, I felt a chill run down my spine. The stories Hyukjun casually tossed around intertwined easily with the story Lee Jihoon had just shared. Hyukjun never shared that kind of stuff in front of Lee Jihoon. Yet, Lee Jihoon’s words resonated remarkably with what I had heard before. If it was something that could provide a stronger thrill than glue, did that mean he was referring to drugs? That Hyukjun was there during that time hinted that he had provided Hyukjun with it? But how could Hyukjun…?

Thoughts I couldn’t express swirled around my mind. The moment I realized I was stiff with tension, Lee Jihoon turned his head toward me. Even though he probably had no idea what I was thinking, he laughed, seemingly understanding that I was nervous.

“Why are you so tense? In the end, it’s a story with nothing to do with you anyway.”

Even as I tried to relax in front of his exaggerated laugh, managing my expression wasn’t easy. The smile from Lee Jihoon’s face gradually faded as well. He placed his hand above my head. Ruffling my hair lightly, he retracted his hand and spoke with a softer tone than before, kind of like words meant to assure a child.

“I don’t see you as someone who would get involved in such things. I think I’ve benefited from that.”

Lee Jihoon turned his head towards the sea and sighed deeply.

“Just… don’t act too naïve.”

“…….”

“Hyukjun is not a nice guy who would consider your circumstances.”

Lee Jihoon stood up. Let’s go. We need to eat and study again. His back was moving toward the bicycle. I barely turned my gaze away from him and got up. My heart was still pounding loudly.

* * *

I awoke from a light sleep as I felt a vibration from my pocket.

The bus was still moving at that moment. However, it seemed to be gradually slowing down. Through the window, I could see the rest area sign coming into view. It was easy to deduce that our class’s bus, which had departed last since they were checking the engines, would arrive after the other classes had already reached the rest area. Outside, some familiar faces could already be seen walking around. I began to search for Lee Jihoon’s bus number while replying to him asking where I was.

As the bus came to a complete stop, our homeroom teacher stood up at the front seat.

“We’re taking a fifteen-minute break now. Everyone, make sure to get back to the bus on time. Anyone who is late will be left behind, so keep that in mind.”

With those words granting us permission to move, the bus filled with commotion instantly. Most of the kids stood up and twisted in their seats, preparing to jump out as if trying to escape. The only one remaining still was Choi Hyukjun. I couldn’t help but think of him, as he seemed quite prone to motion sickness and had been silent with his arms crossed since we embarked. I turned back as I began to rise to see if he was okay. The sunlight coming through the window made Hyukjun’s face look a bit pale, as if it were washed out.

“The symptoms of drug addiction include the following; changes in appetite or sleep patterns are predominant. Unlike before, some may either be unable to sleep properly or may sleep excessively.”

The symptoms of drug addiction I had recalled from one sleepless night while researching online suddenly came flooding back to me. Was it because Lee Jihoon mentioned it that I found it harder to accept Hyukjun’s casual demeanor from the first semester? After a moment of hesitation, instead of waking him to inform him we were at the rest area, I quietly exited the bus. It didn’t take long to spot Lee Jihoon. He stood there momentarily among the gathered teachers, bowing his head as if acknowledging them. As he spotted me, our gym teacher smiled and gave him a light pat on the shoulder, permitting him to move away. Lee Jihoon hurried up to me, holding two hot bars.

“Hey, take one. Ouch, ouch, it’s so hot.”

As soon as he handed me one, he was hurriedly shaking his hand as if it had touched fire. I could see he had just picked up freshly made hot bars. The situation he had just created while standing like a model student in front of the teachers was quite hilarious now that he was acting silly in front of me. The hot bar I received was moderately warm. It was impossible not to notice that he was simply messing around.

“It’s not that hot.”

After quickly glancing at my expression, Lee Jihoon casually responded while wiping under his nose.

“My heart is warm for holding onto this for you, not knowing when you will show up. Didn’t they teach you about ‘the heart’s sensitivity’ in Korean class? Korean exam students refer to it as sensory synesthesia.”

He seemed eager to take over the role of Korean teacher. I took a bite of the hot bar before he could rattle off more nonsense. Perhaps because of the meager lunch I had eaten just after getting off the plane, I felt pretty hungry. We both settled on a bench at the end of the rest area, happily nibbling on what we had.

“Hey, the gym teacher said he would have us do something after the class talent show tonight as a group.”

As I was finishing my hot bar, Lee Jihoon informed me. The gym teacher? Now that I thought about it, he had just been standing there earlier. What did he ask us to do? As I pondered for a moment, I looked back at Lee Jihoon, furrowing my brow slightly.

“Why me?”

Lee Jihoon seemed to falter for a brief moment but soon broke into a slightly mischievous smile.

“What’s good about having friends, huh? It’d be nice to see each other’s faces again.”

I wasn’t sure if I should be happy or sad about his words. I sighed and rolled my eyes, spotting our homeroom teacher calling the kids from a distance. Hey, Class 2-1, let’s hurry back to the bus!

“Are you going to do it?”

“I’ll think about it.”

Lee Jihoon continued to smile even after hearing my nonchalant response, his expression suggesting he already knew I would join.

“I told them we would leave the latecomers behind!”