MTMIO Chapter 107

Chapter 107 Iwanttoseeyou

That day, she came home from school, holding a perfect score test paper, and made a silent gesture to the nanny: “Shh–”

The nanny smiled and pointed upstairs.

She tiptoed upstairs, walked to the door, captured Zhang Wenyin’s crying voice, and was about to knock on the door and go in.

She heard Zhang Wenyin’s restrained and suppressed complaint: “…Don’t bring up Yoyo! If it weren’t for Yoyo, I wouldn’t even make this phone call to you! Let’s get a divorce, there’s no discussion…”

Her heart leaped, and she involuntarily called out “Mom”, interrupting Zhang Wenyin’s call with Lu Huai’an.

The inner room fell into a brief silence, broken by soft sobs. After five or six minutes, Zhang Wenyin composed herself and opened the door.

She walked into the room, looked at Zhang Wenyin’s red eyes, took out a tissue from her school uniform pocket and handed it over, hesitatingly said, “I, I heard everything… You and Dad are getting divorced, right?”

Zhang Wenyin didn’t say anything, giving her a tacit answer.

“Why?” She grabbed Zhang Wenyin’s arm and asked, “Mom, Mom, why? We went out to eat together a few days ago, and we were fine, weren’t we?”

She was extremely uncomfortable, not understanding why the family was talking and laughing at that time, the atmosphere filled with the taste of happiness, but now it had become like this.

“Many things are not what they seem on the surface…” Zhang Wenyin stopped her voice, changed the subject, “It’s really impossible to live like this.”

She still didn’t understand, and really wanted to ask, how could they not live like this.

But seeing Zhang Wenyin’s face full of mottled tear stains, crying so hard that she couldn’t breathe, as if she would break at any moment, she couldn’t get to the bottom of it, so she just patted Zhang Wenyin’s back and asked, “Is there no room for maneuver?”

Zhang Wenyin shook her head, waited until she could catch her breath, and asked her: “Who do you want to be with? If… if you’re with me, you may have to suffer. Mom doesn’t earn as much money as Dad, and you may have to transfer schools…”

She understood that Zhang Wenyin had made up her mind.

She understood that even if she avoided such a question today, she would have to face it in the future.

She replied: “Don’t you want me to be with you?”

Zhang Wenyin shook her head crying, “I do, I’m just afraid you won’t be able to adapt. It’s hard to go from extravagance to simplicity.”

“Then just say you want me, why say so much.” She was extremely aggrieved, “I thought you didn’t want me.”

“How could I, how could I not want you, Mom can give up anything, as long as you…”

Even knowing that the superior material life was provided by Lu Huai’an, and that following Zhang Wenyin might be hard, she still preferred Zhang Wenyin, who would respect her and give her a rich spiritual life.

“I’ll go with you! You have to take me with you.” She choked and emphasized, wiping away her tears, “Mom, you have to take me with you, don’t leave me here alone.”

Zhang Wenyin sobbed out loud and said, choking, “Okay, okay, Mom will take you with you… I will definitely take you with you…”

The last frame of the video was frozen on the two people’s hands, hooked together.

The pads of their thumbs touched, which was the sign of a stamp.

This was also the scene that Lu You would always remember when she recalled Zhang Wenyin’s departure.

Then she imprinted a sentence in her heart: Liar.

ˉ

Sitting for a night, her neck was stiff and her back was sore. Lu You slid down a bit, her body completely lying on the carpet.

The sunlight shone on her face, very close, close enough to clearly see the floating dust.

If the river of time and fragments of memory could be visualized, maybe this is what it would look like.

Lu You raised her arm and probed her fingers into the light, “Yue Yunxi.”

“Hmm?”

“Help me make an appointment for her to come out and meet me this afternoon.” Lu You paused, “Just her and me.”

“…Okay.” Yue Yunxi sat beside her, pressing her phone.

Not long after, just as Lu You was about to take her hand back from the pale yellow sunlight, Yue Yunxi stuffed her phone into that hand.

Yue Yunxi’s body temperature still remained on the phone, a slight warmth.

In the chat history, Yue Yunxi thoughtfully selected a place to meet, in the area of ​​the gym they always went to, a quiet cafe.

Below the address, Yue Yunxi asked Zhang Wenyin: [Yoyo wants to chat with you alone, when are you free this afternoon?]

Zhang Wenyin replied quickly: [I have time! It mainly depends on her.]

Zhang Wenyin then asked: [Is she okay?]

Yue Yunxi replied: [Then let’s meet at three o’clock in the afternoon, she didn’t sleep all night, let her catch up on some sleep.]

Zhang Wenyin: [Okay, thank you for taking care of her.]

After reading it, Lu You lowered her hand, pressing her forearm on her eyes, blocking the dazzling sunlight.

There was a cool dampness oozing from the corners of her eyes.

Perhaps she hadn’t slept enough for the past few days and was too tired, she lost consciousness before lying down for long, until Yue Yunxi carried her to the bed.

Picking up a person lying flat on the ground is not an easy task, and the movement was not small.

Lu You’s consciousness floated on the edge of vagueness.

The quilt covering her body vaguely still had the aura belonging to her grandmother.

She curled up her body.

In a daze, she felt a bit of cool softness.

As if a cool ray of moonlight gently fell on her forehead.

–

With something on her mind, Lu You woke up inexplicably after sleeping until a little after one in the afternoon.

Opening her eyes, she saw a layout that was completely different from her own room, and she was a little dazed.

As if she had returned to the past, on a certain winter afternoon, she burrowed into her grandmother’s quilt for a nap, her hand stretched out from the edge of the bed, and after counting down three numbers, she could hear the sound of the yo-yo’s fleshy paws stepping on the floor.

The wet dog nose would rub against her fingertips, and she would take the opportunity to rua the dog’s head.

Turning over, she inadvertently touched the back of the little old lady’s hand, and her grandmother would wrap her entire hand in her warm palm, warming her while scolding her: “Little hands are cold, you’ve been letting the dog lick them outside the quilt again.”

After a moment of Trance, Lu You only felt empty in her heart.

The most painful thing for people is to recall the past that cannot be returned through familiar scenery and smells, to reminisce about people who cannot be touched, and to realize that the most ordinary happiness has become an illusion.

She curled up in the bedding her grandmother used to cover, pillowing on the pillow her grandmother had used, tears wet the pillow towel, biting her lower lip tightly, but still couldn’t help sobbing.

The door was pushed open gently.

In her sight, the figure arched by the quilt was trembling, Yue Yunxi stopped her hand holding the doorknob, and didn’t push it in any further.

Until Lu You sat up, wiped her tears and blew her nose.

Yue Yunxi turned around and left, to pour a glass of hot water.

When she entered the room, Lu You had already adjusted her state, and asked Yue Yunxi with concern: “Did you catch up on sleep?”

“I did, I took a shower and slept on your bed for a while.”

Yue Yunxi asked her, “Do you want to take a shower first or eat first?”

Lu You rubbed her head, which was swollen from crying: “Take a shower.”

As soon as she spoke, her throat was terribly hoarse, rough and unpleasant, she swallowed, and Yue Yunxi immediately handed over the water glass.

“Are you hungry? Should I cook you a bowl of wontons? Or eat noodles? Or something else?”

Lu You took the cup and replied weakly: “I can’t eat anything, I don’t want to eat anything.”

Yue Yunxi didn’t force her: “Drink some water before taking a shower.”

“Yesterday, Auntie Liu told me before she left that she had to clean up Grandma’s things and dispose of them.” Lu You rubbed the slightly hot wall of the cup, “But I don’t want to clean them up.”

“Then don’t clean them up.”

“But when I see these, I will think of Grandma, and I will be very sad.”

That feeling is like being in the plum rain season, the longing that grows in the humidity, viscous and suffocating.

She added: “But I can’t bear to, I’m afraid that one day, I will forget her. They say that forgetting is the real death.”

“Actually, if you think about it from a different perspective, it won’t be so sad.” Yue Yunxi sat opposite her, met her gaze, and said softly, “Every time you think of Grandma, you will see her one more time in your thoughts.”

Lu You’s eyes flickered, and she suddenly lowered her head.

The rising heat from the cup steamed her sour eyes, creating a layer of water mist, she sniffed and said in a muffled voice: “…What a romantic saying.”

Her throat was blocked by something, so that she couldn’t ask – when you can’t get the love you want, is this what you think?

It is the experience that makes it romantic.

Yue Yunxi rubbed her head.

After drinking most of the hot water, Lu You got up and returned to her room.

Opening the closet, she stared at the clothes inside and carefully selected a set, the same color scheme as Zhang Wenyin in the last video.

Yue Yunxi was worried about her, watched over her outside the shower room for a while, and left after confirming that she was okay.

After washing up and drying her hair, Lu You went to the living room.

Yue Yunxi was placing a steaming small pot of soup on the table, “I stewed a pot of small pear soup for you, drink some to moisten your throat.”

Lu You sat down, and saw a bowl of noodles with very little portion opposite her, with eggs and green vegetables added, which looked very good.

Unfortunately, she didn’t have much appetite, a bowl of soup was enough.

The soup was too hot, and the heat steamed her eyes, which was quite comfortable. Lu You held the spoon and scooped a few scoops absentmindedly to dissipate the heat.

“Yesterday the teacher called…” Yue Yunxi suddenly spoke.

Hearing this, Lu You raised her head.

“She said that she has an old friend who injured her hand a while ago and can’t play the cello anymore. She locks herself at home every day and gets drunk. The teacher and another old friend took advantage of her drunkenness and Sneeed her to the pickup truck they used to drive when they went out to play.”

Lu You blinked her eyelashes, and her eyes were no longer so lifeless, “Then what?”

“Then, the three of them are now driving the pickup truck on a road trip, so she can’t accompany Elena to complete the performance in Salzburg.”

Lu You understood the implication and clenched the handle of the spoon: “Are you going?”

“I want to take you with me. I wanted to ask your opinion before giving her an answer, so I didn’t agree directly. I just told her that I was a little busy these days and wasn’t sure if I would have time. I have to give her an answer in a few days.”

Yue Yunxi paused and said again: “The teacher has other options, not just me. If you don’t want to go, I can turn it down.”

Lu You knew that Yue Yunxi said this to avoid putting pressure on her. If she didn’t want to go, she wouldn’t go.

But she also knew that if Yue Yunxi declined this matter, it would be the second time she refused the teacher’s request for her sake.

Lu You didn’t think much about it and made a decision directly: “Let’s go, I also need to relax. However, I want to leave after Grandma’s First seven is over, can we make it?”

“Yes.” Yue Yunxi said, “The teacher has an idle house in the 19th arrondissement, which she rewarded me with for winning a competition against her rival’s student. There is a Steinway piano and a fireplace you like. We can live there for a while.”

“Okay.” Lu You’s tone was obviously much more relaxed, “Sure enough, the closed disciple is the teacher’s favorite.”

Yue Yunxi’s eyebrows stretched, and she silently hooked her lips, “Maybe, the youngest. The youngest senior sister is nine years older than me.”

“What about the oldest?”

“About the same age as Auntie Liu.”

Lu You remembered and asked: “By the way, what about Auntie Liu?”

She couldn’t bear to fire Auntie Liu, so she just gave Auntie Liu a ten-day paid vacation.

“I’ve thought about this question before. What I’m thinking is, let Auntie Liu go to my mom’s.” Yue Yunxi asked softly, “What do you think?”

It can be said that she considered everything carefully, and she didn’t need to worry about anything.

Lu You raised her lips and said, “I have no objection.”

She lowered her head and scooped a spoonful of soup into her mouth. The deliciousness of the pear meat and the mellowness of the soup blended together, the temperature was just right, warming her heart.

After drinking the soup, the two simply cleaned up and went out.

The weather was very good, and the sun shone warmly all the way. Along the way, they could also see big cats licking the fur of little kittens in the flower bed.

As the distance got closer, Lu You became more and more restless, and even breathing was not smooth. After changing her sitting position several times, she couldn’t help but open the window a little.

The cold wind poured into the car.

Yue Yunxi glanced at her and drove into the open-air parking lot next to the diving hall, “Let’s walk a bit.”

Lu You slowly breathed out a breath and appreciated the agreement.

There was a short distance from the coffee shop, and the two slowly swayed over.

Yue Yunxi only sent her to the entrance of the mall, and the coffee shop was on the right after entering.

“Send me a WeChat message when it’s about to end. If I don’t reply, call me.” Yue Yunxi sorted out her long hair that was messed up by the wind, “Chat slowly, don’t worry about me. There is a cat cafe nearby, I’ll go there to Rummycats, I’m not in a hurry.”

Lu You bit her lower lip, “Hug.”

Yue Yunxi hooked her lips, took a step forward, hugged her, and rested her chin on her shoulder, “Don’t be nervous.”

“…I’m not nervous.” Her tone was very weak.

“Well, okay~” Yue Yunxi’s voice was full of indulgence, “I’m afraid you’ll be nervous.”

“Tch, you’re overthinking it!” Lu You reluctantly let go of her, “Then I’m going in.”

“Go ahead.”

Lu You took two steps and folded back, “Damn, no, I’m nervous, hug me again.”

Yue Yunxi smiled and opened her arms.

This time she let go, walked to the tea-brown glass door, Lu You didn’t fold back again, just turned her head and glanced, Yue Yunxi was still standing there, waving to her.

The anxiety swirling in her heart seemed to have been waved away by half.

The glass door opened automatically, Lu You walked in, turned right, and pushed open the door of the coffee shop.

“Welcome!”

Almost at the same time, a voice came from the right: “Yoyo, here.”

Lu You turned her head along the voice.

In the most inconspicuous corner, the semi-enclosed circular seat, Zhang Wenyin stood there, looking forward and apprehensive, one hand nervously pressing on the table, and the other hand suspended in mid-air.

She seemed to want to wave and say hello to her, but she was afraid that she would dislike her being so familiar, so she forcibly restrained her enthusiasm.

Lu You hesitated for a few seconds and walked over slowly.

As soon as she sat down, Zhang Wenyin handed her the menu, “See if there’s anything you want to drink or eat.”

The small pear soup had not been digested yet, and Lu You was not thirsty or hungry.

But looking at Zhang Wenyin’s eager gaze, the words of refusal were stuck in her throat, and she couldn’t say them no matter what.

In the end, Lu You said casually: “The same as you.”

Zhang Wenyin’s eyes flickered, rang the bell to call the waiter, and ordered a pear cream latte and an orange pudding.

After all the coffee and desserts were brought to the table, Lu You realized that Zhang Wenyin had ordered a hot Americano for herself.

There was a time when Americano was very popular, and Lu You tried it twice, once with cold and once with hot.

She forgot the specific taste, but she only remembered that one was more bitter than the other, comparable to Chinese medicine.

“I heard that your throat is a little hoarse, so I thought the pear cream latte would be more suitable.” Zhang Wenyin explained softly, “And their orange pudding is delicious, sweet but not greasy.”

Lu You took off her coat and said, “Thank you.”

She was very polite, and therefore seemed very distant.

“…” Zhang Wenyin reluctantly squeezed out a smile, making herself appear not so concerned about this sense of strangeness.

People came and went in the coffee shop, and the piano music of classical music was mixed with the voices of people ordering and chatting, setting off the corner where only two people were in particular silence.

Time evaporated in the heat rising from the cup, minute by minute.

The quiet atmosphere was rendered more and more delicate by this heat.

Suddenly, a customer’s phone rang at a certain table, and the ringtone was very loud.

Zhang Wenyin was startled, and the spoon in her hand fell on the table, making a crisp sound. Before she could recover, she was startled by the sudden cry of a baby.

She forgot where she saw it, but it said that people who are easily startled are weak.

Lu You curled her knuckles, held the thin spoon, and stirred the coffee unconsciously, “You—”

“You…”

Two voices collided in the air.

After a few more seconds of silence, Zhang Wenyin asked softly, “What do you want to say?”

Lu You pursed her lips and said, “After you left, I sent you messages, but I never received a reply…”

Her throat choked, and she couldn’t ask the next sentence.

Why were you so stingy with even a reply to me.

“I replied!” Zhang Wenyin was still speaking softly, but she was very excited, and her upper body straightened and leaned forward with her words.

In the next second, she collapsed again.

“I was… sent to a mental hospital… and my phone was taken away on the day the lawsuit ended. I only saw the message you sent after I recovered.”

Lu You was stunned for a moment, and immediately thought, “Then maybe it just happened to be when I lost my phone.”

“So…” Zhang Wenyin said, “No wonder, there was no response when I sent messages and made phone calls to you.”

“But later I saved up living expenses and bought a new phone, and also retrieved my account. I sent messages to you more than once, at different times…”

——[Mom, I miss you so much]

——[How long do I have to stay here? When will you come and pick me up?]

——[I will be very good, I will listen to you, I can help you do housework, I can not eat snacks, I can eat less meat, I can not go to private schools with such expensive tuition fees]

——[Mom, do you not want me anymore?]

——[Do you really not want me anymore?]

One by one, accumulating her thoughts, day after day, turned into resentment, deeply engraved on her crushed self-esteem again and again.

“I always…” Lu You said those two words almost grinding her back teeth, “Never received your reply, not even once.”

Emphasis but lost strength.

After waiting for a long time, she didn’t hear Zhang Wenyin explain, Lu You raised her eyes slightly.

The room had air conditioning, and Zhang Wenyin’s coat was taken off and placed aside. Inside was a mink velvet sweater. Her left hand was tightly grabbing her right arm, her knuckles kneading the sweater on the sleeve into deep wrinkles, and her right hand placed on the table was shaking.

Looking up, it was a pale face, covered with a painful expression.

“Are you… not feeling well?” Lu You looked at her and felt that she was not quite right. She stood up and said, “I’ll take you to the hospital, we’ll talk next time—”

“No!” Zhang Wenyin raised her hand and refused, “It’s okay, I’m okay, I’ll be fine in a while.”

As she said this, she picked up the coffee cup in front of her.

Her hands shook so badly that she spilled two or three drops of coffee before taking a sip.

Lu You slowly sat down, staring at her, still worried.

Zhang Wenyin exhaled slowly and slowly, and rolled her throat with difficulty, squeezing out a low and light voice: “I was… sent to a mental hospital at that time… My phone was taken away.”

The air suddenly became thin.

Lu You only felt a chill rushing from the soles of her feet all over her body, straight to the top of her head, making her feel cold.

She didn’t have to try hard to think of all kinds of speculations she had made about Zhang Wenyin not replying to her messages.

She was full of complaints, hating Zhang Wenyin’s neglect, but she never thought that Zhang Wenyin didn’t want to reply.

But she simply couldn’t reply to her.

“I suffered a lot when I was pregnant with you, and I had a lot of bleeding when I gave birth to you, and I even stepped into the gate of hell. Therefore, my feelings for you are particularly complicated and contradictory. I was happy and cried for your birth, and I regretted giving birth to you after paying too much for giving birth.

I gave birth to you when I was 21 years old…”

At 21 years old, she was still a child herself.

Lu You opened her mouth, wanting to say something.

Zhang Wenyin said: “Let me finish.”

Lu You pursed her thin lips and stopped talking.

“To be honest, I didn’t make enough preparations to become a qualified mother.”

Zhang Wenyin smiled helplessly, her eyes passing over her and looking at the hidden corner opposite.

There was a young mother there, feeding her baby in her arms with a nursing scarf around her.

“Breastfeeding is very painful, you have to feed during the day and at night, sitting for the confinement is very annoying, you can’t eat well or sleep well. Your body is out of shape, your position is replaced, you don’t have time to lose weight, and you don’t have time to practice piano. Everyone around you keeps saying – you have to do this and that for your child… The child’s needs are paramount, and no one cares about my needs.”

“No, it’s not that no one cares. Your empathy seems to be particularly strong. Every time I’m sad, you can detect it, and even be sad because of my sadness.

But, I can’t control my emotions, it seems to be out of my control, making my condition worse and worse.”

“Ah Shao, that is, your Aunt Yue, was the one who found out that I was wrong and took me to the hospital. Only then did I know that I was sick.”

“But your grandma and them don’t think it’s a disease, they just think I’m thinking too much, too pretentious.

My condition became more and more serious because it was not effectively controlled, and my emotions towards you became more and more numb.

You are actually very good, even if you are very hungry, you will not make a lot of noise. You will just look at people with tears in your eyes, and everyone who sees you will feel sorry for you.

I also feel sorry for you, but my body seems to be frozen, and my thoughts are also emptied. I don’t know how to feed you, and I don’t know how to coax you, I just sit by the bed and stare at you blankly, crying with you.

After many times, your grandma couldn’t bear it anymore, pointed at my nose and scolded me, saying that I was irresponsible. I was actually wronged and angry, but I couldn’t respond at that time because I was sick.

She thought I was deliberately ignoring her and passed out.

Because of this, I and…”

Seeming unwilling to admit the identity played by Lu Huai’an, Zhang Wenyin directly said his full name, “I had a big fight with Lu Huai’an. I couldn’t control my emotions at all, hysterically like a madman. The former me would never be like this. He finally realized that I was really sick.

He has a friend whose family runs a mental hospital. The next day, he completed the procedures and sent me in.”

Lu You’s hand hanging on the table moved slightly, and she subconsciously held the coffee cup, but she was scalded and Shrink a little.

“That was the first time I was sent in. At that time, we still had feelings. He really wanted me to be cured, and he specifically greeted his friend, so this time, the people inside took good care of me, the service was meticulous and thoughtful.”

I stayed there for four months and twenty-seven days, and he took me home.”

Looking at her, Lu You’s eyes involuntarily dyed a layer of compassion.

The experience from a long time ago, until now, Zhang Wenyin still remembers the time inside, even to the day.

It is conceivable that even with good treatment, every day inside was like a year.

“Maybe he was afraid that I and the old lady would have conflicts again. Before taking me home, he sent the old lady back to her hometown.

Maybe it was for some other reason, I didn’t ask, but I’m very grateful for his decision, giving me enough time to spend alone with you.

I enjoy every minute and every second I spend with you. Although I still feel very hard at the beginning, the happiness you bring me is much more than the hardship.

You have a thriving vitality, you are very good at perceiving emotions, and you are also very good at expressing emotions. When I am with you, my spirit is very relaxed and my heart is also calm.

Time has repaired the close relationship between us, and you have tightened the connection between family members.

I thought our family would get better and better, until I discovered… some very bad things…”

Zhang Wenyin’s voice stopped, her lips moved again and again, but it was still difficult to say.

“He cheated.” Lu You suddenly spoke, calmly piercing the fig leaf.

Zhang Wenyin was a little surprised by her knowledge: “You… you all know?”

Lu You nodded very lightly: “I only found out a long time later. Before, I always thought it was just because he rarely came home.”

“How can home be as comfortable as a gentle township.” Zhang Wenyin sighed, “The decision to divorce was made in a hurry. I blame myself for thinking too simply, thinking that the mistake was his, so I would be given you.

What I didn’t expect was that the evidence of opening a room can only prove that he cheated outside, and does not constitute cheating.

He had also made sufficient preparations long ago, just to prevent me from divorcing him after discovering the truth.

The house, the car, the funds… even you, were all transferred.”

Perhaps in order to preserve the image of her grandmother in her heart, Zhang Wenyin did not say in detail how she was transferred.

“I lost miserably, and even your visitation rights… I didn’t even fight for them. The moment I got the result, I almost collapsed and fell ill as soon as I left the court.

During that time, it was your Aunt Yue who took care of me. She often persuaded me to think about it, saying that it’s not bad for you to follow Lu Huai’an, at least the material conditions are superior, and your grandma and grandpa also dote on you.

I brainwashed myself on the one hand – Lu Huai’an has money and connections, after all, you are his daughter, and there are grandparents protecting you. In the Lu family, you can not worry about food and clothing, and you can go to the best schools. It is indeed better than following me who has no money, no job, and an unstable mental state.

On the one hand, I was very reluctant to part with you.

I couldn’t help but secretly go to see you, begging grandma to let me see you, even once.

As a result… on the day we agreed to meet, I waited for my father who hadn’t contacted me for twelve years…”

Zhang Wenyin bit the last two words, rolled her throat with difficulty, as if she had swallowed a fly.

“He only knew that I was married, and didn’t know that I was divorced, so he went to Lu Huai’an first… They colluded! Calculated me! And sent me to that place again…”

The treatment was completely different from the first time. She was like a fish being sold. No matter how much she struggled, she would be caught back and pressed hard on the “cutting board” to be slaughtered.

Even if she realized that the medicine should not be taken, it was useless.

The attitude of the nurses was very bad, the medicine was fed by stuffing it, and the infusion was tied up.

The side effects of those pills were very large. They burned her heart and hurt her stomach, would make her memory decline, and she would be 혼혼 Damn all day long. And they were very addictive. Once she stopped taking the medicine, she would not be able to sleep all night.

The injected medicine always gave her a feeling of dying. Every time before losing consciousness, she thought she would never wake up again.

And when she thought that it would be good if she couldn’t wake up, she would suddenly pull herself out of the unconscious state and suddenly wake up.

“…I don’t know how long I will stay inside, I don’t know when I can get out, I only know that this time no one will come to pick me up and leave that place. No one can help me escape from there… The sun in the window rises and falls, I don’t know when it will end…”

Lu You felt that the hot air from the air conditioner in the store was like a transparent film, covering her mouth and nose, making it difficult for her to breathe.

And the pain derived from it, fragmented and trivial, but could not be ignored.

“I was only able to come out when that hospital was investigated and the person in charge ran away.” Zhang Wenyin held the coffee cup tightly, took two deep breaths in a row, but her voice still couldn’t stop trembling, “After I came out, I thought about going to see you, but my illness relapsed, sometimes good and sometimes bad. When my condition was okay, I thought about going to see you, but I was afraid of running into Lu Huai’an, afraid that he would find out that I was out and send me to another mental hospital… I just…”

Zhang Wenyin raised her hands and covered her face, “I left Nanquan…”

Action preceded consciousness. By the time Lu You reacted, she had already moved and sat next to Zhang Wenyin, raised her arm, and gently patted her bowed, trembling back twice.

Zhang Wenyin paused, and then sobbed and said: “I listened to the doctor’s advice and changed to a city, went to Xicheng. I thought Xicheng had mountains and rivers, it was a place with very good scenery, it should be nice to die there…”

Lu You’s hand patted her back suddenly stopped, like a needle was tiein, with pain as the anchor point, shrunk up.

Zhang Wenyin was still continuing: “I stayed there for about a month, the landlord’s daughter, who is also your Teacher Zhong, brought a baby back… I was grateful to Granny Zhong for her care and care for me on weekdays, so I postponed the plan to die, helping her take care of her worrying daughter and high-demand granddaughter… That day, you complained that I gave all my maternal love to Mimi, frankly speaking, I can’t deny it.”

Lu You’s eyes slowly sank along with her falling hand.

“When Mimi was over one year old, I felt that they didn’t need my help anymore… But just when I was about to go out, I suddenly heard Mimi’s cry.

She actually cried every day, but only that day she cried her heart out. In that moment, I thought of you.

Thinking of the first night after I came home, you had a nightmare and woke up, thinking of grandma, and cried like this…”

Zhang Wenyin cried until she choked, and after a long time, she squeezed out a broken voice from her choked throat, “Yoyo, you are the only hope for mom to live on… But my life is too dark… I know it’s very unfair to you, but, Mimi’s birth gave me a little glimmer again.”

Lu You felt her cheeks were cold, wiped them with her hands, and then realized that she didn’t know when she had shed tears.

Complex and contradictory emotions accumulated in her chest, making her feel stuffy in her heart.

She couldn’t say that she could understand Zhang Wenyin’s justifiable reason, and she couldn’t say words of complaint.

The former was out of selfishness, and the latter was out of the empathy Zhang Wenyin gave her.

Zhang Wenyin always covered her face, because she clearly knew that everything she did after she went to Xicheng was the real violation of the original agreement.

The daughter she longed for was sitting next to her, a very close distance, only in memories and dreams had such a close distance.

But she didn’t dare to get closer like in memories and dreams, and hug her daughter.

And when she finally mustered up the courage to lower her hand, her eyes turned to the side through blurred tears.

The first thing she saw was Lu You’s left hand naturally hanging on her leg.

The dampness was blinked away, and the winding and ferocious scar on her little finger suddenly became clear.

Her vision blurred again.

Zhang Wenyin tentatively stretched out her hand, wanting to touch the scar on Lu You’s left little finger, but stopped at a fist’s distance away, “I’m sorry…”

Her voice was hoarse, saying in a chaotic manner: “I’m sorry, my mother is too cowardly… Just because I was afraid of going into that place again, I didn’t dare to see you, and I didn’t even dare to contact you again. I always comforted myself, as long as there is enough material, you can live well without me… I could have asked Ah Shao more, asked Yunxi more, and learned more about your situation… Just because I was afraid of hearing from them that you might get along well with your new mother, afraid of hearing you say that you hate me, I didn’t dare to ask more, I only knew how to escape… I’m sorry, I didn’t do what I promised you… I’m sorry, I’m not a qualified mother.

I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry…”

Again and again, voice after voice, her throat became more and more hoarse, her crying became heavier and heavier, and Zhang Wenyin’s head drooped lower and lower.

The constantly falling tears wet the skirt that was crumpled by her hands.

That piece of dampness seemed to seep into Lu You’s heart, and seeped out a kind of unspeakable discomfort.

Not knowing how many times she had said “I’m sorry”, Lu You handed over a tissue.

Only then did Zhang Wenyin stop apologizing and took the tissue from Lu You’s