MTMIO Chapter 2

Chapter 2: It’s Because I’m Afraid You’ll Be Sad

“Jiao Jiao…” Lu You murmured, repeating the name.

Water droplets condensed on the glass, winding down in a trail, sliding past Yue Yunxi’s slightly trembling fingertip, and falling into Lu You’s line of sight. She blinked her eyes lightly.

A mix of sourness and astringency.

Living together day and night, even a deep, unspoken love, loving but being unable to have, to the point of needing to seek solace in a substitute. Even a substitute that’s only thirty percent similar is more pleasing than her, the mosquito blood.

Is that how it is?

Although Chu Xiao hadn’t provided solid evidence regarding this matter, and she didn’t know how much of it was true or false, she also understood that ignorance is bliss.

But at this moment, Lu You couldn’t face Yue Yunxi with a calm and collected demeanor.

She couldn’t stay any longer.

Just as she was conjuring up an excuse to leave, the phone on the table vibrated first.

Seeing the caller ID, Lu You frowned. Unable to bother with leaving, she immediately picked it up and answered, “Grandma?”

“Hey! Yoyo, Tao Tao just called me, saying she couldn’t get in touch with you, what’s going on?” Grandma asked worriedly, “Is everything alright with you two?”

Hearing this, Lu You’s expression suddenly turned cold. The hand hanging by her leg clenched tightly, her fingernails digging deep into her palm.

Barely suppressing her anger, she touched the tip of her nose and explained calmly, “It’s nothing, I was just a bit busy earlier and didn’t have time to look at my phone.”

Her tone was ordinary, almost undetectable of any emotion.

“It’s good that it’s nothing, good that it’s nothing.” Grandma was still a bit worried and asked, “Did you two quarrel? I heard Tao Tao crying, it scared me half to death.”

Lu You pressed her lips together again and said, “No, you know how she is, she just loves to cry, don’t worry.”

Yue Yunxi glanced at her, her eyelashes slowly lowered, and she drank the fruit drink in her glass until only the bottom remained.

The grandma on the other end sighed in relief and said earnestly, “You two need to get along well, you should call her back later, don’t make her anxious.”

Lu You squeezed a soft “Mm” from her throat and urged, “Go to sleep soon, it’s already very late.”

Grandma responded with an “Okay.”

The phone hung up, Lu You’s lips pursed into a straight line. Her face was cold as she dialed Tao Xin’s phone number, got up, and said, “Sorry, I’m going to make a call.”

Before the words had even faded, she held the phone to her ear and left her seat.

Unintentionally catching a glimpse of the character “Tao” displayed on the screen, Yue Yunxi gripped the glass in her hand tightly, until even her peripheral vision could no longer capture Lu You’s figure, then she slowly loosened her grip.

The lemon wedged on the rim of the glass evaporated slightly, and the sound of the wind chimes on the door gently broke through the other noises, instantly shattering everything lively around her into white noise.

Only time was moving.

Minute by second, slowly and long.

Sitting outside was particularly eye-catching. Suitors were rejected one after another, and Yue Yunxi was becoming impatient. She got up, pretending to leave, but her gaze uncontrollably drifted not far away.

The street lamp was like a bright, immaculate moon, suspended above the slender and graceful figure, showering her with pure light.

She’d clearly lost even more weight than when Grandma was hospitalized.

She obviously wasn’t taking good care of herself.

However, no matter how distressed she felt, she didn’t have enough standing to inquire, no closer identity to offer more concern.

Yue Yunxi’s heart felt astringent. She closed her eyes, took two steps, stopped, and her footsteps turned in Lu You’s direction.

Actually, she could have sent a WeChat message to say goodbye and leave.

But, selfish desires were at play.

ˉ

The phone call Lu You made was quickly answered.

Tao Xin didn’t speak on the other end, but she could hear soft sobbing sounds.

Lu You rubbed her temples and said, “We agreed when we first started dating that if we ever broke up, we wouldn’t involve each other’s family and friends. What were you thinking, calling Grandma so late at night? Was my screenshot not clear enough, or is blacklisting you not enough to express my attitude clearly?”

“I didn’t want to disturb Grandma’s rest either, but you won’t even give me a chance to explain.”

Tao Xin’s voice was mature yet sweet. Lu You once described it as a stream in a mountain valley. When mixed with sobs, it was like overflowing into her heart, easily softening people’s hearts.

“Okay, explain.”

“That Chu Xiao is a big fan. My manager keeps telling me to maintain a good relationship with her, so I sometimes like her posts and reply to her. It was just a joke.”

Lu You closed her eyes, unable to bear confronting her point by point, tearing apart the little decency that remained. “She showed me all of your chat logs.”

Tao Xin: “…I admit that I didn’t pay attention to propriety and boundaries.”

Lu You opened her eyes, a look of pain flashed through them. “Tao Xin, I’m giving you face, can you not treat me like an idiot?”

“Then what do you mean?” Tao Xin’s confidence contained a hint of innocence, “Since you’ve seen the chat logs, you should know that I don’t have any kind of relationship with her, did you see me calling her darling, or…”

“So…” Lu You frowned, interrupting her, “As long as the chat logs don’t actually confirm the relationship, it can be categorized as not paying attention to propriety and boundaries.”

Tao Xin was stunned.

By the undisguised disappointment in Lu You’s voice, and by her unprecedented cold, frost-like tone.

Tao Xin also turned cold: “Then what else? Are you insisting that I cheated?”

Lu You laughed in anger. As she laughed, a strong sense of bitterness welled up. She said in a low, hoarse voice: “Let’s break up.”

There was a moment of silence.

After a moment, Tao Xin sniffled loudly, feeling aggrieved and pitiful: “I admit it was my fault, I apologize to you, I promise to pay attention next time, don’t be angry, okay?”

She was very good at showing weakness.

No matter how great the anger, facing such an attitude, it was like punching cotton.

Before today, Lu You’s heart would soften at the sound.

But now, there was only exhaustion. She sighed deeply: “Do you remember when you neglected me at the beginning of the year, and I told you I felt like I couldn’t feel your love anymore, how did you reply to me?”

Tao Xin fell silent.

“You explained that you were too busy with work and that’s why you neglected me.”

“It turned out you were busy chatting with someone else.”

“You promised that you would pay attention next time.”

“The result is, that’s how you paid attention.”

The phone on the other end was so quiet that it felt as if the call had been disconnected. Lu You’s voice gradually became soft and light:

“I’ve already given you many chances.”

Tao Xin stubbornly said: “I know you’re angry right now, I’ll send you tickets tomorrow, can we meet up and have a good talk?”

Lu You lowered her eyes and looked at the damp road surface.

Potholed and uneven, the puddles held scattered light from the colorful neon lights.

Raindrops fell, creating mottled ripples.

Like a shattered mirror.

“What I needed to say, I have already said, let’s just leave it at that.”

The sentence almost exhausted all the strength in her body. Lu You hung up the phone with a trembling hand, her feet as if fixed in place, unable to lift or move.

It felt like something was hollowed out in her heart, both painful and confused.

A umbrella-shaped shadow covered her head. Lu You glanced sideways and caught sight of the familiar black suit pants.

Yue Yunxi stood beside her, her fair and smooth hand holding the umbrella handle.

The end of the handle was a hand-carved giraffe head.

Lu You was slightly stunned.

There used to be an old man selling umbrellas outside her elementary school gate. The handles were all animal heads carved by the old man himself. She liked them very much and saved money to buy three or four. She stuffed them everywhere in her house, bags, and school. Whenever she saw a classmate who didn’t bring one on a rainy day, she would generously lend it out. In the end, she couldn’t find a single one.

When she wanted to buy another one, she learned that the old man had passed away.

Later, when she mentioned it to Tao Xin, Tao Xin gave her one not long after, saying that she had it custom-made, one for each of them.

She didn’t expect Yue Yunxi to have one too.

She lowered her eyes and looked at the umbrella handle. Yue Yunxi was also quietly looking at her.

The dense rain fell, the sound of the raindrops growing from far to near, the tapping and sliding sounds playing a tune that made someone sad.

Lu You rolled her throat and asked: “Yunxi-jie, why did you come over here? Is there something you wanted to say to me?”

She spoke calmly and slowly, sounding clear and collected. Her expression looked as calm as usual, as if nothing had happened.

But the more it seemed that way, the more Yue Yunxi felt the suppressed strength underneath the calmness.

Yue Yunxi turned her head and looked at her, confessing: “Originally, I wanted to say goodbye before leaving.”

Lu You tugged at the corner of her mouth: “So you heard the breakup scene?”

“Sorry.” Yue Yunxi hesitated, “Are you still…”

Are you still okay?

How could she be okay? When she got closer to her, she clearly didn’t see her cry, but it was like approaching a lake, and she heard her voice and breath filled with dampness.

Yue Yunxi had a deep sense of helplessness, because Tao Xin’s actions made all the words of comfort ineffective.

Lu You rubbed the tip of her nose: “I’m fine, it’s nothing, you can go back.”

Yue Yunxi didn’t move from the spot, with no intention of leaving, clearly not believing her words.

Lu You lowered her head and stared at the tip of her shoes: “You heard it, didn’t you? I was the one who initiated the breakup, what could happen to the one who dumps someone.”

It was only misplacing her feelings.

She dared to agree to the pursuit, so she dared to accept this ending.

She emphasized, deceiving herself: “What is there for me to be sad about…”

Yue Yunxi sighed softly: “Okay, it’s because I’m afraid you’ll be sad.”

Indulging her like an older sister comforting her younger sister.

Lu You pursed her lips tightly and looked towards Yue Yunxi.

Yue Yunxi hadn’t been looking at her while she was speaking, but just as she turned her head, she suddenly looked over as well.

Their eyes met.

Everything around them was shrouded in a hazy rain. The sound of the rain hitting the umbrella surface seemed to become clearer.

The warm light of the street lamp dyed the slightly upturned corners of the other person’s eyes, blurring into the amber pupils, like the morning light breaking through the fog.

The tolerance and worry within were undisguised.

Lu You felt like she had been pricked, and immediately looked away.

The more she felt Yue Yunxi’s thoughtfulness, the more conflicted and tormented she became. Her soul felt torn in half, one half feeling disgusted by this, and the other half reminding her that Yue Yunxi was innocent.

She understood the logic, but rationality couldn’t always override sensibility and take the upper hand.

Her eyes rimmed with red, a layer of water mist covering them. The pain that she had deliberately ignored and suppressed surged up forcefully.

Lu You suddenly turned around and walked straight into the deserted alley, regardless of the rain falling from the sky.

“Yoyo?” Yue Yunxi hurriedly followed, holding the umbrella.

“Don’t follow me, I’m sorry, I… temporarily don’t want to see you right now.”

Her voice sounded like it was gradually rusting.

The sound of footsteps behind her slowed, stopped, with the words she spoke.

When it sounded again, it became very light, like leaving and walking away.

It felt more like gently approaching.

Lu You realized this, and at the same time, the rain that kept falling on her head was blocked out by something.

Looking up, she saw the raindrops falling like broken beads, constantly sliding down the umbrella surface.

Once the pretense was broken, the emotions had an outlet.

Just a second ago, she felt that she could get through it by gritting her teeth, but at this second, she couldn’t suppress the urge to cry no matter what.

Tears swirled in her eyes, Lu You bit her lip tightly, unable to say the words to send the other person away again.

She wanted to keep walking forward to get rid of the other person.

The moment she lifted her foot, her wrist was grabbed from behind, followed by a pull backward.

The next second that Lu You’s body turned around, the other person let go of her hand, pressed her against the back of her head, and brought her into their arms.

Everything happened too fast.

When Lu You reacted, her forehead was already resting on Yue Yunxi’s shoulder.

The woody and cool fragrance wrapped around her whole body, lingering at the tip of her nose.

Lu You was stunned and subconsciously wanted to retreat.

But suddenly, she felt her head being gently stroked twice.

Then, she heard Yue Yunxi’s calm voice flowing past her ear along with the fine rain.

“Sorry, I’m still a bit worried about you being alone.”

It was difficult to describe the feeling at this moment. Her grievances were overturned. Lu You suddenly didn’t have the strength to push back anymore. Her thin shoulders trembled slightly, and tears welled up in her eyes.

The suppressed sobs drilled into Yue Yunxi’s ears, like strong acid corroding into her heart.

Her brow furrowed tightly, and a ripple of heartache spread in her usually calm eyes.

The hand gently stroking the back of Lu You’s head moved to the position of her back shoulders, freezing at a slight distance, her fingertips curling slightly, like traces of a struggling soul.

In the end, only the hand holding the umbrella handle tightened more and more.

Twisting with restraint and forbearance.