RMACAUH Chapter 61
by VolareChapter 61 It’s my dirty mind, afraid you’ll despise me…
That day Feng Chao came back relatively early. As usual, Chu Lingqiao brewed a medicinal soup and served it to him.
While drinking the soup, Feng Chao was expecting to hear his Chu *daifu* nag about the day’s events, but he saw him sitting quietly like an honest man, just watching him drink the soup with a serious expression.
Feng Chao couldn’t help but wonder, “What’s wrong? Did you encounter something unpleasant today?”
“How did you see that?” Chu Lingqiao couldn’t help but smile and ask.
“Your emotions are all over your face? Usually, he would tell me about which patient he met today, which family was so poor they couldn’t make ends meet, which family was so rich they even used pure gold bowls…”
“Was I that garrulous before?”
“It’s okay, I don’t find it garrulous. If you don’t say anything for a day, I feel like something’s missing.”
Chu Lingqiao took a deep breath. There were too many things he wanted to ask, but when he thought of the man’s warning, he swallowed the words back down.
Maintaining the status quo had become his greatest hope now.
From the beginning, he knew that his Chao’er would not be an ordinary person. He had lived as a *langjun* for so many years, walking on thin ice. No one could predict what the future held.
Perhaps, he was also an unpredictable variable in his life. His *fu lang* should have feelings for him. If he had no feelings, how could he have agreed to the promise? How could he have left him that night, and secretly given birth to Ying’er for him?
“What do you want to eat tonight? I’ll make it for you.”
“Isn’t *da niang* cooking?”
“Let *da niang* cook her two signature dishes, and I’ll cook what you want to eat.”
“Hmm… braised eel with cucumber. You made it very well last time, with no fishy taste at all.”
“Okay, what else?”
“Also… scallion oil braised chicken.”
Chu Lingqiao smiled and got up to do it. He had all the ingredients at home. The chicken was killed yesterday, and there was half left, perfect for making scallion oil braised chicken. There were still a few live eels in the bucket, but he didn’t know how to kill them. *Da niang* had a special knife for gutting eels, so he would leave them there for her to gut later.
He started the stove, washed the pot, and cooked the dishes with ease. Before, he liked to tinker with medicinal herbs, and usually researched food when he had nothing to do.
Feng Chao had gained weight along with him in these few years of living in Linhuai.
The sumptuous dinner was soon ready. The children ate lightly. After feeding them egg custard, he let Linhuai take them to play in the yard.
Feng Chao and Chu Lingqiao were left at the table, slowly eating their meal.
“How does it taste?”
“Hmm, especially good, I like it.”
Hearing his affirmation, Chu Lingqiao felt both sweet and sour in his heart: “If you like it, I’ll make it for you for the rest of my life.”
A lifetime, it was too far away.
Feng Chao just smiled and didn’t answer.
Chu Lingqiao didn’t have much appetite. He tasted each dish appropriately and put down his chopsticks.
“Are you done eating so soon?” Feng Chao felt that he had something on his mind, and he didn’t know what he was hiding and didn’t want to tell him.
Chu Lingqiao thought for a while, and said in a negotiating tone: “I’ve saved some money over the years, and there’s absolutely no problem in supporting the family. Chao’er, would you be willing to leave this place with me?”
Feng Chao was stunned for a moment, and gently placed the bowl on the table, “Why so suddenly?”
“It’s not sudden. You’ll always get tired of staying in one place for a long time. Moreover, the South is humid and hot, which is not good for your health. We’ll travel to a few more places and see where you like. We’ll live there for a while.”
“Did someone come to find you?” Feng Chao asked with certainty.
Chu Lingqiao’s heart tightened, and even his breathing trembled. He didn’t answer, but asked Feng Chao: “Our relationship, can’t it be exposed?”
Feng Chao took a deep breath and nodded solemnly, “Yes.”
A sourness welled up in his chest, “If it’s exposed?”
“If it’s exposed, there will inevitably be trade-offs.”
Chu Lingqiao’s eyes were red, “Would you abandon me and Ying’er?”
Feng Chao was silent for a long time, and only said: “You and Ying’er are the most important people in my life.”
“Why don’t you answer me?”
“Lingqiao, don’t ask, it’s useless for you to know too much.”
This sentence almost plunged Chu Lingqiao into the abyss, and the only light was extinguished in an instant.
“Sometimes, I hate you quite a bit.” Chu Lingqiao lowered his eyes, and his eyelashes were wet with tears.
“I know.” Feng Chao got up and sat beside Chu Lingfeng. He took his hand, intertwined his fingers with him, and leaned his head on his shoulder, looking obedient.
Only Chu Lingqiao knew that this was his usual method, holding him firmly, without any strength to struggle.
He was also a cheapskate, always falling for his tricks.
“Chu *daifu*, don’t be sad, aren’t I still here?”
“You’re still here now, but you might fly away someday. I’ll be taking Ying’er, calling for help that won’t come. Where am I going to find you?”
“If there really is such a day, don’t look for me, take Ying’er and live the life you want.”
Chu Lingqiao felt his liver qi stagnate, “What are you talking about? You are Ying’er’s father, you are my…”
The two words *fu lang* were stuck in his throat, unable to be said. Was he really his *fu lang*? At most, they could be considered illicitly cohabiting, and could be separated at any time.
“Why don’t you say it?”
“You wouldn’t be happy to hear it if I said it.”
Feng Chao had no temper when facing him, and always wanted to tease him when he saw Chu *daifu* get angry, “If you don’t say it, then I’ll have to say it. You are the husband I have already recognized in my heart.”
Chu *daifu* ‘s ears turned red when he heard this. This man was very wild in bed, but was very innocent in some ways, blushing when teased.
“You’re just coaxing me, anyway, you know I can’t do anything.”
“How could I be coaxing you? If you don’t believe me, take my heart out and see if the three words ‘Chu Lingqiao’ are engraved on it?”
“What nonsense are you talking about?!” Chu Lingqiao was speechless, “These words are so unlucky, don’t say them in the future.”
It seems that Feng Xiao’s visit scared Chu *daifu*.
Chu Lingqiao ignored him, cleared the table and sent the dishes back to the back kitchen.
At night, Feng Chao coaxed Ying’er to sleep and returned to the tent, and saw Chu Lingqiao with his back to him, seemingly asleep.
Feng Chao lightened his movements, pulled up the quilt and lay down, feeling sleepless for a while.
Chu Lingqiao had been lying with his eyes open, not asleep, and he heard every movement when he went to bed clearly. The more he thought about it, the sadder he became, and he asked, “When will you leave? Just tell me, so I can be mentally prepared, don’t suddenly leave without saying goodbye one day.”
“That depends on when my father calls me back. Maybe it’s these few days, or maybe before the New Year’s Festival, or maybe in the spring of next year. I haven’t been back for more than three years.”
“Go back?” Chu Lingqiao was very sad, turned around and asked him with red eyes: “Isn’t this your home? Aren’t me and Ying’er your family?”
“Of course you are my family, and this is also my home.”
“Then don’t go, stay, okay?”
Feng Chao looked at him helplessly, “What did I tell you at first, have you forgotten?”
“I didn’t forget,” A drop of tear slipped to his lips, Chu Lingqiao pursed his lips, it was both bitter and salty, “I’m not a saint, isn’t it normal to have greed? Whatever you want, I will definitely try my best to earn it back for you in the future. Are power and money that important? Didn’t you say that that home has no warmth, and you don’t want to go back? Then don’t go back! Feng Chao, I beg you.”
Feng Chao raised his hand and cupped his tear-stained cheeks, feeling a burst of heartache, “What are you crying for, little *langjun*? It’s not like I won’t come back after I leave.”
“Who knows?” He still didn’t know Feng Chao’s true identity. If he really left, where would he find him? He had no direction.
He was very flustered, and also knew that if Feng Chao wanted to leave, no one could keep him.
Feng Chao propped himself up and kissed his lips, tasting the taste of his tears: “Chu *daifu* is such a sweet person, but his tears are also bitter.”
Chu Lingqiao suddenly pressed him on the bed and kissed him back fiercely. Feng Chao’s slender white arms indulgently wrapped around him, letting him do whatever he wanted on his body.
*
After three days of travel, Si Mo and Feng Xilan arrived at the northern border of Southern Zhao.
Si Qianliu had been working as a leisurely official here for decades. Although he wasn’t rich, his residence was still grand and magnificent.
The servants led them through pavilions and waterside buildings to the main house. As soon as they entered the hall, they felt a refreshing coolness. The hall was paved with polished marble, and a large ice basin, a meter high, was placed in the center of the hall, filled with various iced drinks and seasonal fruits.
Si Qianliu was enjoying himself, lying on a soft couch, letting a maid serve him with a fan.
“Uncle is enjoying himself!” Si Mo still acted like a cocky, unrestrained person, taking a few plump lychees, peeling them and handing them to Feng Xilan’s mouth.
Feng Xilan was thirsty and hot, and didn’t stand on ceremony with him, taking the snow-white and icy fruit pulp. This sweet and crisp bite was very satisfying.
“Hmph~” Si Qianliu smiled sarcastically, and his somewhat fat body rolled over on the couch, finding a comfortable position, too lazy to get up.
“Oh dear, sure enough, my words carry little weight, and there’s not even a place to sit when I come.”
Si Qianliu snorted again, “Stop pretending, what are you doing here, you little brat? Can you bring me any good?”
Si Qianliu’s impression of him was still from ten years ago, just because he compared him to his brother a few times, this little brat sneaked into his room at night and shaved a bald spot on the top of his head, forcing him to wear a hat all summer, covered in heat rash in the hot weather!
When it came to being bad, who could be worse than Si Mo? He was really bad and malicious!
Si Qianliu’s gaze went past him, and he saw a man behind him, a man with a bright cinnabar mole between his eyebrows, who was too beautiful to be approached.
“Who is this little beauty behind you?”
Si Mo moved his steps, blocking the view tightly, “He’s my person.”
Si Qianliu sneered: “I can’t tell, you’ve become promising, with a pretty face, you’re just likeable to beauties. In fact, you’re useless, with a terrible temper. Beauty, beauty, you should abandon him earlier and be with me, eat spicy food and drink, enjoy endless wealth and honor here.”
Si Mo clenched his fists, “Uncle, I’m here to help you achieve a career, if you really want to stay here for the rest of your life, then just pretend I never came.”
After speaking, he grabbed another handful of lychees and stuffed them into Feng Xilan’s mouth, turned his head and was about to leave.
“Stop!” Si Qianliu’s fat body slowly sat up from the soft couch, and dismissed all the maids and servants in the room.
“What did you just say, help me achieve a career?” Si Qianliu thought he had misheard, and picked his ears.
“I’m taking a risk to come here to find you, it’s not without any certainty. If you have this idea, Uncle, why not listen to me and tell you in detail how?”
Si Qianliu had some expectations in his heart that he would bring some different surprises, but on the other hand, he felt that this kid was teasing him.
“Just you? What can you help me with? You have no soldiers, no power, and no influence, you don’t even have a brain!”
As soon as he opened his mouth, he hit people hard. Si Mo had grown up listening to these words from him since he was a child, full of contempt for him, always comparing him with Si Ming, and then belittling him.
Si Mo was vengeful and naturally remembered it in his heart.
Feng Xilan couldn’t listen to these words, and stepped forward past Si Mo and said: “If Commander Si had a brain, he wouldn’t have been stuck here for decades, waiting to be swallowed alive, enjoying being a frog boiled in warm water, don’t you think it’s extremely ridiculous?”
Si Qianliu’s face was flushed with shame, and he was about to explode, when Si Mo suddenly stopped him, “Uncle, you better not touch him.”
“You’re still a tender and protective man?”
“He is King Xilan, and the person who will help you succeed is his cousin, King Guangling, you wouldn’t really go against your future, would you?”
When Si Qianliu heard the identity of this brother, he was also shocked, “King Guangling? Are you telling the truth?!”
“Of course it’s true!” Feng Xilan said in a deep voice.
Si Qianliu paced back and forth, his mind racing.
“Over the years, Southern Zhao has been safe and sound, so what’s the difference to them if Southern Zhao change King, what different with Guangling King? Help me succeed? Is this really a good thing? Haha, I’m afraid this is a trap, right?”
Si Mo: “Uncle is really confused, why do you care what their royal family or King Guangling thinks? Power in your hands is the real thing. As for their thoughts, it’s not difficult to guess, King Guangling is helping you, so naturally he wants to return it.”
Si Qianliu suddenly realized, “Ah ha, King Guangling wants to rebel and usurp the throne?”
Feng Xilan sneered; “Commander Si is wrong, since ancient times, the winner is king, and the able live in it. My brother has the ability, so naturally he should follow the destiny. How can it be a rebellion and usurpation of the throne?”
“What a sharp tongue!” Si Qianliu really liked him more and more as he looked at him, but unfortunately he was full of thorns, and he didn’t know where to start, what a pity, what a pity!
Si Qianliu vaguely had some guesses, but pretended not to know, and looked at Si Mo, who was tightly protecting this little brother.
“I already know what this King Guangling is planning, so what are you planning, virtuous nephew? You help me succeed, why not help yourself succeed?”
Si Mo looked dejected: “Uncle knows me best, I am an incompetent person, only thinking about pleasure, what can I achieve? Besides, didn’t uncle know, I have no military power or influence, and even this identity is just a name without substance.”
“It’s good that you have some self-awareness.”
“You and I are both members of the Si family, but we are different. In the future, the new king of Southern Zhao must also be a member of the Si family to be legitimate, and uncle is the only choice!”
These words made Si Qianliu feel comfortable all over, and he raised his chest with ambition: “Your father has been the king for so many years, and he really hasn’t made any achievements! I have nowhere to use my ambition! Alas, King Xilan has a very good saying, the winner is king, and the able live in it!”
Si Mo and Feng Xilan looked at each other and exchanged a tacit look, it was almost certain.
“What’s the plan? Tell me about it?”
Si Mo said confidently: “Every year at the New Year’s Festival, uncle will go back to the palace to celebrate the festival. During those days, you and the palace guards are responsible for dispatching the palace guards. That day, you can find a way to replace the guards with your own people. King Guangling’s army will block the troops outside the city, giving you enough time to complete what you want to do.”
“You want me to bear the crime of killing my brother and nephew?”
“After the matter is completed, you put the blame on me, isn’t it just a matter of a word?”
Si Qianliu’s eyes lit up, and his smile was greedy and hideous: “Yes! Virtuous nephew is really enlightened! Tell me, what do you want?”
Si Mo looked suave, put his arms around Feng Xilan and hugged him tightly. Feng Xilan was surprised and wanted to push him away subconsciously, but then he thought that this was acting for Si Qianliu, so the hand pushing on his chest turned into stroking gently.
“I and Sister-in-law Alan are in love with each other. After the matter is completed, you can let us leave.”
Si Qianliu stroked his beard and stared at them with a smile, “Also a pair of poor mandarin ducks, you have worked hard on the long journey, come on, take these two distinguished guests to the east wing to rest.”
After the maid sent them back to the guest room, a counselor holding a feather fan came out from behind the screen.
“What does Chang Jun think?”
Chang Mianzhi thought for a while and said: “It sounds reasonable, if you rebel against the kingship, it will definitely be unexpected to the King of Southern Zhao. Who would dare to think of it? You only have a thousand soldiers that can be mobilized, because of this, it is entirely feasible to catch him off guard.”
Si Qianliu nodded: “What is unreasonable?”
Chang Mianzhi: “King Si Mo is the biggest unreasonable thing!”
Si Qianliu secretly took a breath: “You mean, this kid is cheating?”
“Si Mo is a vengeful person, insidious and vicious, how can he be so trapped by love, and want to rebel against this day?”
“A hero is saddened by a beauty, you have also seen it, this King Xilan hehe… is really beautiful!”
“Sir, don’t believe him so easily!”
“Well, Chang Jun is right.” Si Qianliu thought thoughtfully: “Then, what should we do? This is a good opportunity, no matter what their purpose is, they can use us, so can’t we use them in turn?”
“Let them stay for a while first, and then find a chance to test the truth.”
“Why not…”
*
Si Mo asked someone to fetch water, washed Feng Xilan, changed into a light and dry shirt, and opened a small window to let the wind blow in, and he finally felt much more comfortable.
Feng Xilan turned his head and glanced at the person lying on the bed with his arm on the pillow and his eyes closed, feeling complicated.
According to Si Qianliu’s arrangement, he would inevitably have to stay with Si Mo tonight, which made him a little uneasy.
He originally thought he could make a quick decision, and avoid this embarrassment, if he insisted on leaving, he would inevitably be suspected by Si Qianliu.
After a while, the maid brought ice drinks and fruit snacks. He hadn’t eaten much along the way, and Feng Xilan was really hungry at the moment.
He ate a piece of shortbread, looked at Si Mo who was still sleeping, and called out, “Si Mo, aren’t you hungry? There’s food here, they just brought it.”
Si Mo seemed to be leisurely closing his eyes to rest, but in fact he was still uneasy about hugging him rashly before, it was better to play dead to avoid making him angry.
Hearing Feng Xilan calling him to eat in a peaceful tone, he immediately came to life, and jumped up and sat at the table, the speed of which made Feng Xilan dumbfounded.
“Mmm, delicious!”
Feng Xilan saw him gobbling, and poured him tea, “Don’t choke.”
Si Mo’s heart was a mixture of sweetness and sourness, like a child who had done something wrong, burying his head and not daring to look him in the eyes, and asked him, “Don’t you blame me? You even poured me tea, Alan, you are too kind?”
“Pu cough cough cough…” Feng Xilan looked at him suspiciously: “Are you okay?”
Si Mo shook his head, smiling and eating snacks, Alan not only poured him tea, but also spoke up for him when Si Qianliu insulted him before!
He could savor the previous scene a thousand times over as soon as he thought of it.
Alan didn’t hate him as much as before, it seemed that his efforts to perform well in front of him were still useful.
“What exactly is Si Qianliu thinking?”
Si Mo ate some snacks to fill his stomach, got up and walked to the window, looked around vigilantly, determined that there was no one listening, then put down the window and sat back.
“He still doesn’t believe us, he has to test us again and again, and make him believe us, before he will let us go back to Dali.”
“Doesn’t believe… doesn’t believe what? Doesn’t believe that my brother can help him, or doesn’t believe our heart to help him?”
“Doesn’t believe me.”
“Hmm?”
Si Mo looked embarrassed and pursed his lips, remained silent for a long time, before saying: “He doesn’t believe that I will… will rebel against my own brother and father for you.”
“But you weren’t originally for me either.”
Si Mo stopped talking, then nodded and said, “I’m really not for you, I’m for my own selfish desires.”
Feng Xilan avoided his eyes, he didn’t want to delve into the affection contained in Si Mo’s eyes.
They were silent for a long time, and it seemed that even the air became thin.
“Oh, right.” Si Mo had to remind him, “Si Qianliu wants to test me, and I don’t know what tricks he will use, if there is anything offensive later, can you not be angry with me?”
“What time is it? Still talking about this… We only have one common goal now, I know what’s important, and I won’t be angry with you.”
“That’s good.”
“Si Mo…”
“Hmm?”
“In your eyes, what kind of sharp and mean person was I before?”
Si Mo waved his hands in a panic: “How can you be sharp and mean? You are sincere, free and easy, and straightforward, it’s me! It’s my dirty mind, afraid that you despise me.”
“Forget it, let’s not talk about this.” If they continued, they would fall into a strange atmosphere again. Feng Xilan poured a cup of tea in frustration, not knowing what to say for a while.
“Why don’t you rest well in the room, I’ll go out for a walk?”
“Oh, okay, go ahead.” After Si Mo went out, Feng Xilan relaxed, he had ridden a horse for two days and one night, his whole body was sore, and he lay down on the bed.
When he turned over, a faint fragrance wafted into his nose, and when he realized that it was Si Mo’s lavender, Feng Xilan’s cheeks turned red unconsciously, and he lay down a little bit more, avoiding the place where Si Mo had lain.
Si Mo was afraid that he would be embarrassed, so he went to the nearby pavilion to blow the wind for an afternoon, until it was almost time for dinner, before he returned to the room to call him.
Feng Xilan was asleep, Si Mo lightened his steps and walked to the bedside, looking at his bright and deep features, his heart fluttering.
The evening sunset gradually darkened, dragging the tail of the last ray of light in front of the room, Si Mo leaned against the bed, looking at him with tenderness, reluctant to look away.