RMACAUH Chapter 54
by VolareFeng Xilan smiled sarcastically: “I knew it, how could someone like you know how to repent? No wonder…”
“No wonder what?” Si Mo moved closer to him, the distance between them shortening, he could smell the cold plum fragrance on the boy, which had transformed from the fiery sun of his previous memories into another extreme.
The person he took a fancy to was indeed very interesting!
Feng Xilan didn’t dodge, facing a beast, the more you try to escape, the more it intensifies their desire to hunt. “No wonder, your father didn’t like you.”
The smile on Si Mo’s face gradually stiffened and twisted. “Anyone can say that, but you’re the only one who can’t!”
He fiercely gripped his chin, wanting to teach him a lesson, but when he met his stubborn and resolute eyes, Si Mo instantly lost all his strength.
“Why don’t you continue? Want to kill me? Si Mo, someone like you deserves nothing!”
“Shut up!”
Seeing his anger, Feng Xilan smiled triumphantly, “Did I hit a sore spot? You’re so pathetic, despicable, and filthy, no one will like you.”
“No, that’s not true!!” Si Mo’s heart felt like it was being gouged out by a knife, he roared with all his might, but couldn’t refute it, “Do you think I care? Hahahaha… I stopped caring a long time ago.”
The last sentence, “I don’t care,” was filled with loneliness between the lines.
He cared, no one cared more than him, about what Feng Xilan thought of him, but he didn’t know how to gain his love. At first, he thought it was possession, as long as he possessed him, he would belong to him.
But that wasn’t the case, he messed things up, completely backfired, and made him hate himself.
He admitted that every word that came out of Feng Xilan’s mouth was like a knife stabbing at his heart and self-esteem, and he wouldn’t allow himself to be weak, cry, or beg.
Feng Xilan suddenly stood up, no longer looking at him, and walked out.
Si Mo sat in the room in a daze for a long time before reluctantly getting up and chasing after him.
“A’Lan!”
“Let go!” Feng Xilan shook off his hand. “What else do you want to do? Speak properly, don’t pull and tug, I don’t want to have anything to do with you.”
Si Mo’s voice was hoarse, “You…”
Feng Xilan impatiently closed his eyes, “I’m leaving.”
“Don’t go!” Si Mo clung to him. “What I said just now was a lie, I care a lot, can you, please don’t hate me?”
Feng Xilan couldn’t help but laugh when he heard this. “Si Mo, are you acting addicted?”
“I’m not acting!”
“I won’t believe a single word that comes out of your mouth!”
“Then how can I make you believe me?”
“The day you die, I’ll come to your grave and tell you.” Feng Xilan took two steps, then suddenly thought of something and reminded him: “Oh right, the things in the box, I’ll return them to you.”
“What is it?”
Feng Xilan’s smile twisted. “Why don’t you open it and see for yourself, wouldn’t you know?”
Si Mo wanted to say something, but Feng Xilan didn’t give him any more chances.
He stood in the wind for a long time, his eyes stinging from being blown, he despondently withdrew his gaze and turned to go back to the house.
On the table was a black sandalwood makeup box, it had some weight when picked up. Si Mo suspiciously slowly opened the box. A brocade cloth wrapped a bloody mess, emitting a bloody smell.
He used his fingertip to lift a corner of the brocade cloth and saw a newly formed baby. When he realized what it was, Si Mo’s feigned indifference was completely shattered.
His heart felt like it was being torn apart, the pain was extreme but he couldn’t cry. He just hugged the box tightly, opening his mouth and roaring hoarsely. A surge in his stomach made him taste a hint of fishy sweetness in his throat, and he spat out a mouthful of blood.
He seemed to finally realize that once a wrong choice is made, there is no possibility of turning back.
No one would give him a chance to turn back, never.
A’Lan was a person who would rather be a shattered jade than an intact tile, there would be no good outcome between them.
Qing Ya silently followed behind Feng Xilan, recalling the appearance of Prince Si Mo just now, he was actually more human than Si Ming. At least, the way he looked at their young prince seemed to show that he cared, right?
If the marriage that had been arranged from the start was with Prince Si Mo, perhaps their situation wouldn’t be so difficult.
“Young Prince…”
“Today’s events, erase them from your mind when we get back.”
“This servant understands.”
Feng Xilan felt a little more comfortable. How could one person suffer alone? The perpetrator had to be dragged down together, everything had to be fair for him to feel at ease.
The carriage jostled for another half an hour. When they returned to the Prince’s residence, Feng Xilan was exhausted and just wanted to go back to his room to rest.
Just as he reached the back courtyard, a beautiful figure with a bright smile walked towards him, and then bowed to him: “Consort, I have been waiting for you for a long time.”
Feng Xilan sized her up. Golden hairpins, silver rings, Shu brocade silk, eyebrows like distant mountains, face like peach blossoms, she was a delicate and pampered little beauty.
The master didn’t speak, Qing Ya also remained silent at the side, sensing that things weren’t good.
Seeing that he didn’t speak, the woman wasn’t annoyed, and only said: “My name is Lin Yazhi, has His Highness the Prince mentioned me to you?”
“Get to the point.”
“I will also be living in this back courtyard from now on, the Consort should have the magnanimity to tolerate people, right?”
So blatant, she clearly didn’t take him, this Consort, seriously.
But he had long heard that Si Ming already had someone he liked, and even a child, but because of him, he had never brought them into the residence.
Presumably, this Lin Yazhi didn’t come from a very good background, otherwise, why would it be his turn to act as the facade of the Consort?
Ha, how ridiculous!
“Mother! I’ve been looking for you for a long time.” Not far away, a four-year-old child ran from the corridor and hugged Lin Yazhi’s leg.
Lin Yazhi smiled gently, touched the child’s head, and pushed him in front of Feng Xilan: “Yunzhou, pay your respects to the Consort.”
“Why is the Consort a man?”
“Because the Consort is a boy.”
“But boys can’t be the legal wife, the governesses all say so.”
Lin Yazhi looked at Feng Xilan with an apologetic expression: “The child is ignorant, I hope the Consort won’t blame him.”
Feng Xilan had a indifferent face, staring at the mother and son, and said coldly: “Since you know he is ignorant, you shouldn’t let him out to be annoying! Since you want to let him out, as a mother, shouldn’t you teach him how to speak properly?”
The smile on Lin Yazhi’s face froze, full of embarrassment. “The Consort’s words are too harsh, aren’t they?”
“You’ve already done things so ugly, what, can’t you even hear a few harsh words? I wonder what noble fate you have, why aren’t you sitting in this Consort’s seat?”
Lin Yazhi no longer had a trace of a smile on her face, only endless embarrassment, in a dilemma.
“Weren’t you going to come over to test my bottom line today? Now that you know I’m not easy to provoke, take your son and disappear from my sight. Si Ming can go wherever he wants. From now on, we’ll still be like water from two different wells, understood?”
Lin Yazhi hurriedly bowed, putting away those false pretenses, “This concubine understands, this concubine will not appear in front of the Consort again to annoy you.”
Saying that, she took the child and turned to leave.
The child turned his head and made a face at him.
Feng Xilan raised his fist, pretending to hit him, the child was so scared that he shrunk his neck, hid beside his mother, and dared not look back again.
Feng Xilan snorted coldly: “Boring!”
Qing Ya couldn’t help but laugh, the young prince still had some of his old self.
“What are you laughing at foolishly?”
“No, nothing.” Qing Ya hurriedly pursed his lips.
Feng Xilan felt even more frustrated. The days to come were probably going to be even more difficult.
“Oh right, can you do needlework?” Feng Xilan suddenly turned back and asked Qing Ya.
Qing Ya nodded: “I can! But my embroidery isn’t very presentable.”
Like master like servant, they used to run around with their young prince all day long in the residence, never sitting still for a moment, how could they have the mind to settle down and learn embroidery?
“Go, find an embroiderer right now, I want to learn how to make some clothes for my future little nephew.”
Qing Ya was stunned for a moment. Where did he get a little nephew? After thinking for a while, he suddenly understood: “The Guangling Princess is pregnant?”
“Yes.”
Qing Ya sighed: “The Guangling Princess is so lucky!”
“Who wouldn’t like someone like him?” Feng Xilan said, then couldn’t help but feel a burst of loss. Perhaps he was the one who was unlikable.
His father often told him when he was young that he was too proud and sharp, too strong and easily broken, too rigid and easily snapped. Moreover, he was a boy, and not as good as a man, so he was often confined at home to cultivate his character.
But he just wouldn’t learn, he preferred to learn the unrestrained and casual ways of men, doing as he pleased.
Now he had indeed suffered, but he didn’t think he had done anything wrong. Even if he was broken, snapped, or died, he was still Feng Xilan.
Because he wanted to make some small clothes for Xiao Feng’s child, it was the first time he had sat quietly in the room, not going out for more than a month, earnestly learning how to make clothes from the embroiderer.
Time flies like running water, and in the blink of an eye, it was another summer.
At this time, Guangling Prince’s Heir Feng Ying was one and a half years old. The little fatty was very sturdy. He couldn’t walk yet, but he wanted to go everywhere and see everything.
He babbled and drooled, with a strong desire to express himself, but no one could understand what he was saying.
This year was the most leisurely time for Feng Yue. He often took his son to the training grounds to practice with the soldiers. To save some trouble, he used a cloth to go under the little fatty’s two lotus root arms and go across his back, lifting him up from behind.
When the soldiers saw the Little Heir coming, they wanted to tease him. At first, they still strictly adhered to the distinction between superior and inferior, but as the days went by, they discovered that Feng Yue was very serious only when training soldiers. At other times, he didn’t have the airs of a prince at all. He practiced with the soldiers, competed with them, and ate with them, as close as family, so there was nothing that could stop them from teasing the Little Heir anymore.
When the Little Heir saw them riding horses, he cried because he wanted to ride a horse too. He wouldn’t let anyone carry him to ride. If someone sat behind him, he would yell, wanting to occupy a horse himself.
How could a little baby who couldn’t even stand steadily ride a horse?
Luckily, someone was clever and led a wolfhound, letting the Little Heir ride on the dog’s back to run. So for several months in a row, the Little Heir was supported on the dog’s back, running everywhere in the large training ground. The dog even lost weight.
When he was two years old, the Little Heir walked very steadily. He grew taller and slimmer, and still followed his father to the training grounds to practice with the soldiers. Watching the soldiers practice boxing, he also stood on the side and practiced in a decent manner, his horse stance was extremely solid.
Now he no longer rode the wolfhound. He spent all day digging mud and stirring up ant nests with Big Yellow. Big Yellow pawed at the yellow soil with its two legs, digging one pit after another. There were already dozens of pits in the training ground. One could easily sprain an ankle and fall if one wasn’t careful.
Seeing his son digging pits in the training ground again, Feng Yue felt helpless. He picked him up by the back of his collar: “Didn’t Father tell you not to dig pits in the training ground? There’s a mound of earth over there, go dig there!”
“The mound of earth isn’t fun, Father. Ying’er wants to dig his own pits.”
“…”
At an age when even dogs would hate him, he only loved doing things that deserved a beating.
“Then tomorrow you stay at home with Daddy, you’re not allowed to come with me.”
“No!” Ying’er cried with a sad face, “Daddy spanks my bottom.”
“That’s because you keep making your Daddy angry. Your Daddy has such a good temper, and you just bully him because he has a good temper. It’s light to beat you.”
“Ying’er will be good.”
“Good my ass!”
Saying that, Feng Yue threw him next to the mound of earth: “Dig! If you don’t dig a hundred pits today, you’re not allowed to come home with me!”
He didn’t know how much a hundred pits was, but he knew it was a lot, so he and Big Yellow dug desperately. He dug with a small shovel, and Big Yellow pawed with its two claws.
When Feng Yue finished his training and was ready to go back, Ying’er was already lying on the dirt pit, hugging Big Yellow and sleeping.
Feng Yue carried him on horseback back to the Prince’s residence, and he didn’t wake up all the way.
Around this time, Wei Xiaofeng would be waiting for them at the entrance of the Prince’s residence.
Feng Yue jumped off the horse and handed his son to him. Wei Xiaofeng looked disgusted: “Why is he so dirty today?”
Feng Yue laughed: “No matter how dirty, he’s still the one you gave birth to. After washing him, we can still raise him.”
Wei Xiaofeng carried Ying’er and walked to the stables with Feng Yue.
“Was training hard today?”
He asked this every day, it had become a habit. Feng Yue would tell him in detail some trivial things that happened during training today.
Then he took the fodder and personally fed the warhorse before going back to the house with Xiaofeng.
The governess in the residence took the Little Heir to take a bath. He was sleeping so deeply that no matter what they did, he wouldn’t wake up.
This was very much like his daddy.
When it was almost time for dinner, Wei Xiaofeng had the maid wake Ying’er up, which was an extremely difficult thing to do.
After Feng Yue and the others finished eating, the governess brought the Little Heir over. He was still groggy and hadn’t woken up completely, sitting on the stool like a porcelain doll. He obediently opened his mouth to eat whatever the maid served him.
After dinner, it was time to sleep, but the Little Heir suddenly became energetic. He was catching fireflies and swinging on the swing in the courtyard, just not going back to the room to sleep.
Twenty-odd pounds of weight, a hundred pounds of rebellious bones.
It wasn’t until Wei Xiaofeng came out with a thorny stick that he finally knew to be afraid. He hugged Daddy’s leg and acted spoiled, wanting to sleep with Daddy.
Wei Xiaofeng’s heart softened, and he picked him up and went back to the room.
Feng Yue had just come out of the bath and saw him carrying Ying’er into the room, feeling a little helpless: “Why didn’t he go to his own room to sleep with the governess?”
“Ying’er hasn’t slept with us for several days.”
Since Xiaofeng had said so, Feng Yue couldn’t do anything about it, and could only let the little guy squeeze into their bed to sleep.
Feng Yue slept on the outside, Ying’er slept on the innermost side, with Wei Xiaofeng in the middle.
Ying’er had slept for a long time before, and he wasn’t honest at all after lying down. He put the fireflies he had caught in the mosquito net, chasing after the fireflies from the head of the bed to the foot of the bed, and then from the foot of the bed back over the head of the bed, climbing from his father’s head to his daddy’s head.
“Ying’er, stop messing around, come and sleep.”
Wei Xiaofeng hugged him into his arms, Ying’er arched back and forth on his chest, “Zhi Zhi…”
“Zhi Zhi” was a Guangling dialect, meaning he wanted to drink milk. Wei Xiaofeng looked embarrassed, “Daddy doesn’t have any.”
“Daddy has some. When Father is full, he can give Ying’er some.”
Feng Yue’s anger shot up like a flame. He picked him up, pretending to throw him out: “Are you going to sleep or not?”
Before he could do anything to him, Ying’er burst into tears, “Daddy hug, don’t want Father, Father is scary!”
Wei Xiaofeng quickly hugged Ying’er over and scolded Feng Yue a few times: “Don’t be so fierce to Ying’er, he’s still young, he doesn’t understand anything.”
Ying’er lay in Daddy’s arms, sobbing and sniffling, looking very aggrieved. How could he not understand anything? Children understood too much!
“I haven’t even done anything yet, and he already knows to complain.”
Wei Xiaofeng hugged Ying’er and coaxed him softly. After messing around for more than an hour, he was also tired. After being coaxed for a while, he fell asleep.
Feng Yue called the governess to take Ying’er away.
As soon as the little guy left, Feng Yue turned over and pressed on Wei Xiaofeng, kissing his lips tenderly. His palm familiarly caressed the most sensitive parts of his body, and Wei Xiaofeng’s breath came in rapid pants, as if unable to bear such passionate joy.
Feng Yue grabbed his hand, wrapped it around his shoulders, and let him hug his neck…
Before long, the carved yellow pear wood bed couldn’t bear the weight and began to creak and sway.
The next day, Feng Yue accompanied his consort in a lazy sleep, not going to the training grounds to practice. Half asleep and half awake, the door opened with a ‘bang’, and Ying’er ran barefooted to the side of the bed.
“Father! Daddy! The sun is shining on my bottom, shame, shame!”
Saying that, he huffed and puffed as he climbed onto the bed. Feng Yue squinted and frowned, only hearing a strange movement in his arms: “What are you hiding in your arms?”
“It’s Little Treasure.”
“What Little Treasure?”
Ying’er’s little hand reached into his clothes and grabbed out a stink bug, “One for Father, one for Daddy.”
Saying that, he grabbed the second stink bug from his clothes and handed it to Wei Xiaofeng.
Wei Xiaofeng’s pupils trembled: “Throw it away!!!”
The governess ran in from outside in a panic: “Your Highness, Princess, the Little, Little Heir, he…”
“Throw it away!”
Feng Yue grabbed the two stink bugs and threw them out of the tent.
“Ying’er has more.”
Before he could pull out the third one, Feng Yue grabbed the child, using a clever trick to get him out of the tent, “Take the Little Heir away, don’t let him come over until he’s washed clean. Also take the stink bugs away!”
Ying’er’s little body rolled around on the ground a couple of times, not feeling any pain. He was just dizzy from the head shaking. He was picked up by the governess and quickly left the room.
Wei Xiaofeng was so scared that he was about to cry. He was definitely not this naughty when he was a child. He must have taken after Feng Yue!
He was simply a devil incarnate, able to come up with new tricks every day!
Wei Xiaofeng was most afraid of these snakes, bugs, rats, and ants. Stink bugs were even more disgusting to look at. Thinking of the accident early in the morning, he couldn’t even eat his meal.
Feng Yue had the governess take the Little Heir to the market. Everyone in Guangling recognized them. The farmers took out the fruits and vegetables they had grown themselves to sell. When they saw the Little Heir, they would pick the biggest and best-looking ones for him.
“Oh, the Little Heir is out shopping at the market again!”
“Hello, Auntie A’Niu.”
“What a sweet mouth, this is for you. Auntie specially saved it for you.” A peach as big as a bowl, with red tips and green leaves, looked very fresh.
Not far away, someone gave him a bag of plums, washed at home, ready to eat.
After walking down a street, the governess’s basket was full, and the Little Heir had already exchanged for a jar of candied fruits and was happily eating.
The governess didn’t dare to let him eat too much, lest he hurt his stomach, and the Prince and Princess would scold her.
“Little Heir, eat a plum, these are too sweet to eat too much.”
Ying’er wasn’t stubborn. As long as it was food, it was the same to eat something different.
*
For more than two years, Wei Xiaofeng and Feng Xilan had been exchanging letters and sending each other many things.
But this time, after half a year, there was no reply. He had always been thinking about waiting for Ying’er to grow up a bit more before going to see him. Wei Xiaofeng was worried that something might have happened to him.
Feng Yue thought about it for a long time before saying: “Let’s wait another month. If there’s still no news, we’ll take a trip to Nanzhao.”
Wei Xiaofeng: “What if we get news?”
Looking at the expectant look in Wei Xiaofeng’s eyes, Feng Yue couldn’t help but smile: “We’ll still take a trip. We’ve been staying in the Prince’s residence for the past few years and haven’t been on a long trip. I heard that it’s like spring all year round over there. It’s hot here in the summer, so it’s perfect to go there to escape the heat.”
“That’s great!” Wei Xiaofeng was so happy that he almost jumped up like a child, not caring about the composure of a princess, “I’ll go see what I need to pack.”
“Eh…” Feng Yue wanted to say something, but the person had already run far away, “Isn’t there still a month?”
A month wasn’t slow either, it passed in the blink of an eye.
The Prince’s residence had built a large ship two years ago. Dozens of boxes of things were moved onto the ship at night, and the flag with the Prince’s residence’s symbol was removed, secretly leaving Guangling.
Feng Yue was no stranger to the scenery at sea, but it had been a long time since he had spent the night on a ship. The stars in the summer were particularly bright at sea, and the wind blowing from the sea was very cool, taking away the summer heat.
At this time, Ying’er was already asleep. Wei Xiaofeng brought ice cream to relieve the heat. A lot of ice was brought out from the warehouse, which should be enough.
Don’t think it’s cool at night, the scorching sun at sea during the day is really vicious.
Feng Yue looked at the map of Nanzhao while accepting Wei Xiaofeng’s feeding.
This time when going to Nanzhao by sea, their whereabouts must not be revealed. It’s best to disguise themselves after getting off the ship, so that they won’t be recognized.
There were five hundred soldiers accompanying them on the ship, they couldn’t get close to the waters of Nanzhao, they had to put down the small boats and go ashore.
Wei Xiaofeng lay on the table, staring at Feng Yue who was seriously studying the map with the help of the candlelight. Feeling his gaze, Feng Yue raised his eyes and smiled at him gently: “Why are you staring at me like that?”
Wei Xiaofeng was actually a little shy. He felt that Feng Yue was not only good-looking, but also very attractive when he was serious. They had been together day and night for the past few years, but he could never get enough of looking at him.
He thought that he might never get enough of looking at him in his whole life.
“If we could always be together like this, that would be great.”
“Of course we will always be together like this.”
A trace of worry appeared on Wei Xiaofeng’s face, and he remained silent, not saying anything more.
Feng Yue knew his worries and squeezed his hand tightly: “Are you worried about the matter of seizing power in the future?”
“That’s just one of them.”
“Are you afraid that I’ll change my mind after becoming emperor?”
Wei Xiaofeng laughed: “I know you’re not that kind of person, it’s just that when you’re in a higher position, there will be a lot of things that you can’t help doing. Actually, I’m already very satisfied with the current life, but there’s a saying that one should be mindful of danger in times of peace. I also know that all peace is just a facade before a storm.”
This was also why he couldn’t dissuade him, and could only remain silent.
The hand of fate was pushing them forward, and many things were not what they wished for.
Feng Yue looked at him, only feeling that he had changed a lot in the past few years, especially after giving birth to Ying’er, he had become more stable and dignified.
At night, Xiaofeng would occasionally dream of some scenes from his previous life, and would wake up crying, calling his name.
For them, the current stability and happiness was hard-earned after crossing two lifetimes. Actually, Feng Yue would also worry and feel uneasy at times, fearing that he would eventually be defeated and still not be able to change any ending.