PMWAIAAPM Chapter 65

Chapter 65: So Stupid

Tan Zhiyu scrolled through Jiang Cheng’s Weibo from beginning to end; in the past three months, they had traveled to numerous countries, their footprints and happy photos, even making the netizens gasp at how pleasing they looked together.

Because in the subtext of Jiang Cheng’s words, in the angle of each photo, every one of them was taken from the perspective of a lover, capturing moments that spoke volumes, revealing his love without reservation.

Even the netizens were puzzled, wondering if Jiang Cheng really wasn’t with Xing Yang for money; it seemed like genuine love…

But the problem was, it wasn’t Xing Yang at all. They might share a similar physique and skin color, but this was not him.

In the past three months, every time he saw Jiang Cheng post photos and Weibo, he would hide under the covers unable to sleep, his work state in disarray, lost and muddled. He couldn’t return to Butterfly Manor, afraid to see everything there.

Thinking of himself being discarded like a toy that had lost its novelty, he recalled Xing Yang’s unfamiliar and cold gaze, sending chills down his spine.

This was the second time he had pushed himself away. He had deceived himself once again.

Where was the healthy Xing Yang?!

Where?!

In the vast silence of the room, the air released a surge of anticipation and mystery.

Late at night, heavy snow fell outside the window.

His phone rang; it was Li Yue calling to remind him about his upcoming trip abroad: “How long do you plan to rest? We should take advantage of this time to adjust our state. The post-New Year play is directed by Zhang, and after winning the Three Golds, we need to keep our momentum up. The company has sent several scripts; take a look at which one to accept…”

Tan Yushen wanted him to go abroad to celebrate the New Year, with a flight tomorrow morning. The moving company would take all his luggage to the new house this afternoon, starting a new life.

Li Yue spoke for a long time without hearing his reply. Knowing this ancestor had been in a bad mood, he cautiously asked, “Tan Zhiyu, are you listening?”

Sitting on the bed, Tan Zhiyu dazedly looked at the heavy snowfall outside the floor-to-ceiling window, the brilliance of the city’s stars reflecting in his eyes.

“I’m not going abroad.”

“What? But Tan Zong has already…” Before Li Yue finished, Tan Zhiyu hung up the phone, grabbed his coat, and headed out, leaving only the sound of beeping from the phone.

Since Jiang Cheng posted a new Weibo today, Li Yue thought he was just agitated and throwing a fit.

“Truly a living ancestor,” she muttered, continuing to focus on sifting through scripts.

—

As the New Year approached, nearly all the shopping malls in the city had closed, especially at night.

The streets were half-empty, the biting cold wind of the snowy night seemed to sting his cheeks.

Xing Yang wrapped himself tightly downstairs. The old neighborhood was much livelier than the empty streets; children in the yard were building snowmen, puffing out white breaths that immediately turned to ice on their eyelashes.

He stuffed his hands into his coat pockets, carrying the painkillers the doctor had given him as he walked home, contemplating whether to set off the fireworks he had bought in the morning after getting a shot.

One downside of living in an old neighborhood was poor sound insulation and inadequate heating. Plus, there was no security at the entrance; the old security guard had long since fallen asleep in the guardhouse with a small heater.

This house belonged to his grandmother. Since he started working, he hadn’t returned, and now that he suddenly came back to live, many of the old neighbors who knew his grandmother had also moved away. Only a few young people looking for cheap rent had settled here.

“Uncle Yang!” Suddenly, a child dashed out from a snowdrift, tightly hugging Xing Yang’s leg and laughing, wearing a tiger hat and a bright yellow coat like a little lucky doll.

“No hugging your Uncle Yang like this!” Grandma Liu, who was balancing on the fitness equipment, hurried over to stop him: “I’ve told you so many times, this child has no memory!”

“It’s okay.” Xing Yang smiled and pulled out some milk candy from his pocket to give to the child: “Just a little kid.”

“Uncle Yang, do you really have a baby in your belly? I saw my aunt with a big belly when she was pregnant—” Duo Duo grinned, popping the candy into his mouth, innocently asking.

Grandma Liu pinched Duo Duo’s cheeks: “Naughty child, why ask so many questions? Go play!”

“I still want to set off fireworks with Uncle Yang!” Duo Duo protested, missing two front teeth and speaking with a lisp.

“Go, go, go!” Grandma Liu forbade him from causing trouble and sent him to find other children to play with.

Grandma Liu lived downstairs in the neighborhood; her children all worked away from home, leaving her to take care of the grandchildren. Despite being over seventy, she was still vigorous, chasing away her grandson and bustling around to invite Xing Yang upstairs: “Don’t catch a cold.”

Since Xing Yang moved back, he rarely went out, and even when he did, he wore masks and hats. Grandma Liu couldn’t navigate the internet, so she didn’t know how rich and famous Xing Yang had become or what he had been through.

She only saw this child who had grown up in front of her go out to work, now returning looking much thinner and less talkative, with a belly that had grown big.

“Yang Yang, it just so happens to be New Year’s Eve today. Come home for dinner, it’ll be lively!” Grandma Liu said with a smile, pulling out a red envelope for him: “Take it, take it; to me, you’re just like my grandson!”

“Grandma, really, you don’t have to…” Xing Yang smiled but couldn’t help but cough twice.

“It’s for the baby! It should be nearly five months along, right?” Grandma Liu insisted on stuffing it into his pocket and her gaze shifted to the bag he was holding: “That medicine isn’t good; eat less of it. When I make something tasty, I’ll bring it over to you, look at how thin you are…”

Wearing a down jacket and scarf, his face was nearly buried in the fabric, yet Grandma Liu could still see that he had lost weight compared to a few months ago.

She genuinely felt sorry for this child; he wasn’t even an omega, so why come back pregnant?

He probably suffered a lot out there.

“I’ll bring you food later, okay?”

Realizing he couldn’t refuse, Xing Yang nodded: “Okay.”

Before leaving, he turned to ask: “Grandma, does your son-in-law work at Huaxin Technology?”

“Ah, yes! Do you need him to take care of something? He’ll be off work soon…”

Xing Yang’s eyes smiled a bit: “It’s nothing, I was just asking.”

He then squatted down to mold a small snowman, bag in hand as he headed upstairs.

On the fourth floor, there was a middle-aged couple who fought and cursed daily. When the husband saw him while taking out the trash, he spat in the hallway, and inside, a commotion ensued—probably arguing about how useless the child was, Sheila’s ineptitude, and that she had given birth to an omega.

The child’s mother dragged the child by his ear into the living room, and the piercing cries rang out. The mother sharply scolded: “Crying for what, on New Year’s? Can’t even recite a little poem and still want to eat?! Won’t be able to get into school later! Do you see that person outside? You’ll end up like him, with no future!”

Xing Yang was used to it. He lived on the top floor where the lights were broken from the seventh floor onward. Snow was still on his shoulders, amplified by the sheer emptiness of the stairwell, filled only with his footsteps echoing.

As he climbed, he continuously muttered the name Huaxin Technology, worried he might forget it.

He had repeatedly wanted to contact the department to promote Grandma Liu’s son-in-law, but each time he forgot the name. With thousands of people in a company, it was akin to finding a needle in a haystack; he needed to remember firmly this time.

He rejected Fiona’s offer for the gland surgery; he wouldn’t willingly take another young life just for his survival.

However, his original gland was in decline due to a clot in his brain. For over a month now, he could only release pheromones through injections. As for his memory loss, it came and went sporadically. Sometimes he could suddenly recall memories from when he was eight; other times, he’d forget where he placed his phone three minutes ago.

There would come a day when he would forget everything.

Today was New Year’s Eve.

Did Zhiyu see the fireworks?

Xing Yang leaned against the railing as he walked upstairs; his belly had already rounded. Despite having worked out for years, his womb was inherently thin, and the growing fetus would be quite noticeable.

Not even five months along, and already made him so tired; parenting was truly not easy…

In the past couple of months, he couldn’t feel the baby growing, but now he could clearly sense it, even having pregnancy symptoms. He felt nauseous, losing weight, and his previously tight muscles had thinned down to mere lines.

Xing Yang touched his belly: “Be good, okay?”

He was inherently gentle, and during this time, he had no idea how much he had vomited; his voice was hoarse, but he couldn’t suppress the innate affection he felt.

In this world, there would finally be a little life that came for him; he would give birth to a child belonging to him and Tan Zhiyu, a unique person they created together.

When the baby was born, there would be endless wealth, loving family, and happiness.

Xing Yang had never checked the baby’s gender; he hoped for a daughter, having heard that daughters somewhat resemble alphas, and that would be so beautiful.

Upon reaching the sixth floor’s slow-walking ramp, he paused for a while, slowly turning as he prepared to head to the seventh floor.

He looked up and was startled.

The light in the seventh-floor hallway was out; only light passed through the window of the slow-walking ramp, and the flying snow outside created a white haze that made the corridor feel brilliantly illuminated like moonlight.

Standing on the slow-walking ramp, less than a meter away, a man sat on the stairs. He rose when he saw Xing Yang, his face, hidden in the shadows, slowly emerged into clarity in the light, with crimson eyes silently gazing at him.

That gaze felt like a solitary beam of light on stage, encircling Xing Yang.

Xing Yang froze, a buzzing filled his mind, and it seemed like only two words could be articulated, “It’s over.”

He opened his mouth, but his throat seemed blocked, unable to produce any sound.

Tan Zhiyu’s schedule was reported to him each week; in these three months, he hadn’t returned to Beijing at all and would be boarding a flight to Germany tomorrow morning. Before the baby was born, he had never considered they would meet.

“Are you Xing Yang?” he suddenly spoke, his clear voice sounding airy in the icy air, a little tremor in his tone, uncertainly asking: “Aren’t you skiing in L country? How come it’s so coincidental that I meet you in this old neighborhood?”

Xing Yang frowned slightly, took out his keys from his pocket, and walked over step by step.

He quietly hoped to tug his down jacket over himself to blend in unnoticed.

His arm was seized; Tan Zhiyu’s palm felt as icy as if about to melt, and Xing Yang’s strength was too weak now, unable to resist against his strong grip pulling him into an embrace.

“You’ve lost weight…”

Tan Zhiyu wasn’t blind. He came out from home, and the entire city of Beijing was so vast, seemingly the whole world folded into this patch of snow. Not knowing where to go, he eventually parked near Ninth High and found Xing Yang’s old home.

That old house, which should have been long abandoned, still had its lights on inside, just the owner hadn’t returned.

He sat there waiting until he watched Xing Yang dragging himself to walk up, his belly had grown, sounding hoarse.

He was unwell; he hadn’t recovered his health.

At this moment, Tan Zhiyu looked at his face, deeply hollowed in, wishing that the person traveling with Jiang Cheng in country L was Xing Yang; he’d prefer to be dumped himself, to be played around, rather than see Xing Yang lie to him for the second time.

What was worse was that he actually believed it.

Tan Zhiyu’s eyes reddened, recalling the misconceptions of this period, a myriad of emotions swirling in his heart.

“Xing Yang, why don’t you want me? Why?! Why?! You pushing me away was just to fulfill your delusion of doing what’s good for me, right?”

“I’ll tell you! I don’t need it! If you truly loved me, why would you provoke me? Why keep provoking and then casting me aside again and again?! How could you torment me like this…”

Tan Zhiyu’s voice trembled, but it grew softer and softer.

Even the slightest sound of breath echoed in the hallway.

“I’d rather it was the last time you didn’t lie to me. I’d rather you were just tired of me and really didn’t want me…” Tan Zhiyu’s eyelashes fluttered, tear-streaked face pressed against his shoulder, weakly sobbing: “I’m sorry, I’m sorry… I’m so sorry…”

I’m just too stupid…

“Zhiyu, your hands are so cold.” After a long moment, Xing Yang finally managed to say.

They shouldn’t have met, they shouldn’t…

He would forget him next month, right…

How could he warm those icy hands? Xing Yang was so anxious, so very anxious.

He thought he had already gotten used to the days without Tan Zhiyu, but seeing this man finding him again, shattering his lies, felt like all his armor melted away, turning him into water; he was a coward.

He was tightly embraced by Tan Zhiyu, not resisting.

Rationality told him to immediately push this person away; he couldn’t let previous efforts crumble.

But his body didn’t move. He still craved that warmth, longing for everything about him.

Just for a moment, just a moment.