NH chapter 046

Chapter 46: Accomplice

Huo Ye had to admit once again that he also needed a lot of tolerance, care, and love after losing Shen Tingyu.

When Shen Tingyu’s desk was moved to the unreachable corner of the classroom, he could not turn his head to meet his gaze but could only watch his cold back from a distance.

Occasionally, when they would cross paths, Shen Tingyu would deliberately ignore him and walk past, and Huo Ye, suppressing his urge to sneak a peek, found that he really hadn’t looked back even once.

When he had bought Shen Tingyu’s favorite dishes as usual and prepared to cook a meal from the new recipe he learned, he received a call from the domestic services company right as he was about to leave, saying they no longer needed him.

It turned out that he needed it as well.

Unfortunately, this realization came after he was aware of losing Shen Tingyu.

Huo Ye felt lost and often spaced out in class, staring endlessly at the back of Shen Tingyu’s head. Yet whenever Shen Tingyu unintentionally glanced his way, he would hastily look down, pretending to be busy with his own things.

In the unnoticeable glances exchanged, that person had appeared countless times, and every time one tried to move forward, the other would inadvertently step back, thereby missing each other.

Those who waited had gotten used to waiting and were still waiting, but this time, he couldn’t wait any longer.

The proactive person fell in the rain, unable to get up, perhaps hoping to see a umbrella that allows his strength to also be weak.

Hoping that the less-than-excellent version of himself could be less than excellent, or allow himself to be not good enough.

Huo Ye’s days were spent in a cycle without respite, and he no longer had the energy or time to coax someone who had always been hard to coax.

He knew very well Shen Tingyu’s pride; he deliberately didn’t give him a way out. Before the clouds cleared, he wouldn’t dare to ask Shen Tingyu to forgive him as generously as before, so he only shrank into his own shell.

It was as if Shen Tingyu wanted to give him, the weak and troublesome Huo Ye who had stirred trouble but didn’t want to take responsibility, a lesson. Shen Tingyu marginalized Huo Ye and never spoke to him again.

No one expected this cold war to last this long—long enough for them to almost forget the warmth of each other’s embrace and the temperature of their fingertips.

A few days later, after an evening study session, Huo Ye carried his backpack and stepped out of the school gate, greeted by a biting, cold wind.

Taking a taxi at night was expensive, but walking home from school took only fifty minutes. As Huo Ye quietly walked, he calculated how he would pay off this debt, wanting to finish the college entrance examination as soon as possible, and then become financially independent so that he could bring his mother and sister away.

He was so focused on his thoughts that he didn’t realize a faint shadow had silently followed him for a long time.

Not paying attention to which street he walked onto, someone suddenly hugged him from behind, catching Huo Ye by surprise. He was a beat slow to react but quickly countered using the countless experiences he had endured from debt collectors and kidnappers, “Uh!!…”

With a forceful shoulder throw, the person let out a muffled grunt and fell to the ground, crashing into a large pile of discarded cardboard boxes at the end of a dim alley.

Huo Ye was panting lightly, sideways glancing over, trying hard to hide the slight tremble in his body and putting on a calm face.

In the faint moonlight, he saw the person’s face.

It was a very young boy wearing a slightly small and ill-fitting Lan Zhong school uniform, which he had likely bought second hand from a previous year’s senior, and it was also the summer uniform worn underneath.

The school uniform of Lan Zhong Private was also expensive, custom-made and could cost nearly a thousand yuan a set. The school generally required two sets of summer uniforms and two of winter ones, so some students from families with less financial means found it difficult to afford, making the purchase of second hand uniforms not surprising.

The uniform was topped with a black hoodie, and the boy’s face was only partially seen because of the hood, revealing a hint of arrogance in his brows. After being thrown, the hoodie slipped off, exposing his very short, sturdy haircut.

Huo Ye immediately recalled the widely circulated photo; wasn’t this one of the protagonists in the picture, Zhou Shengyi?

Besides that, he finally found a face he vaguely remembered from the few things he could recall. — Yes, they had met.

It was before the second year of high school began.

Right down the alley near Huo Ye’s home.

Zhou Shengyi gazed at him, noticing the change in Huo Ye’s expression as he recalled him after so long. The corner of his lips maintained a sarcastic arc, half lying on the ground, he didn’t get up right away but looked in a certain direction, coldly asking, “Do you recognize where this is?”

Huo Ye followed his line of sight and quickly recognized that it was the back street of Thirteen Middle School. Huo Ye had attended junior high for five years; how could he not recognize it?

“You recognize this place, so do you recognize me?” Zhou Shengyi’s gaze was piercingly focused on him. “I’m from Thirteen Middle School, two grades below you.”

Huo Ye withdrew his gaze and brushed over the school uniform on him, faintly sensing something, and said in a low voice, “You got into Lan Zhong.”

“Yes,” Zhou Shengyi responded, “because of you.”

Huo Ye frowned.

Zhou Shengyi smiled slightly and added, “Is that strange?”

“You…”

“Huo Ye, you probably forgot everything,” Zhou Shengyi called his name so naturally, as if he had rolled it over his heart a thousand times in secret.

He appeared disheveled yet relaxed, slowly rising from the ground and standing up straight. In less than two years, he had somehow grown taller than Huo Ye, despite looking like a mere junior high student then.

Huo Ye stared at him coldly.

His lips pressed tightly together, displaying a guarded state.

“You once saved me, not just once. The first time wasn’t near your house; it was at Thirteen Middle School. I was still very young at that time, so it’s normal for you not to remember me.”

“You were already quite famous back when you were in junior high. There was no one in or out of Thirteen Middle School who didn’t recognize the troublemaker Huo Ye. You were so arrogant, so rebellious, disliked by many, yet liked by many others.”

“You protected me and saved me from bullying. That day, you carried me to the school clinic; the nurse just happened not to be there. You got me some water and smiled at me so many times. Before that, I also hated you like those who disliked you, but after that day, I understood why those who liked you did.”

“But I was too young then. I didn’t know this was called liking. I just felt very jealous of you. I envied all the attention you received, envied that everyone but me could gain your sympathy, all the while resenting you, hating your arrogance, as if you had never regarded me.”

Huo Ye’s pupils subtly constricted, shock and disbelief crashing over him like an invisible wave. He knew he had to interrupt this crazy and absurd statement, but his throat felt tight and unable to voice his words, cold sweat started to dampen his back, and he remained frozen.

Before him floated a delicate and pale face, eyes slightly reddened around their sockets, the dazed expression upon their first encounter seemed to quietly crumble in just a few short seconds.

— So it was you.

That complicated, inexplicable deep gaze; he realized it too late.

Stop talking, don’t say anymore…

“You always looked down on me. Many times, I could only see your indifferent back. I guess I was nothing in your eyes. I wandered in the crowd; there were ten thousand of me in that crowd, yet you could see no one, not me.”

“In order to stand by your side, longing for one day when you’ll notice me, I tried hard for several years until I finally got into the same high school as you. But when I finally managed to get a bit closer to you, I found you had someone else by your side.”

“That person has good grades, a good family, looks good, and made me, who couldn’t measure up in anything, feel like nothing at all. My long efforts became a joke, a monologue no one cared about. There was never a place for me beside you, and I no longer wanted to like you.”

“Guess who showed up in this moment? He has brows and eyes that really look like yours—not like the you now, but like the you from Thirteen Middle School before you fully grew up, a bit innocent, and soft yet handsome. Do you know? He resembled the version of you I first liked even more.”

“So I shifted my fondness for you onto him, including my jealousy and resentment towards you, along with all my unwillingness over the years.”

“He’s a good kid, easy to deceive.”

“I told him I loved him, and he believed me. He thought my love was meant for him. Therefore, the insincerity I gave, the pain and warmth not meant for him, he accepted all naively.”

“Even willing to die for me.”

At those words, Huo Ye regained control of his body; he abruptly grabbed Zhou Shengyi’s collar and slammed him against the wall with a loud cracking sound of bones. His veins bulged on the back of his hand as he could no longer hold back his anger, roaring, “Are you fucking insane?!”

Zhou Shengyi doubled over in pain but remained pinned down, panting heavily and humming a low laugh.

“That kid is only seventeen years old, he’s just seventeen! You know his situation is already tough enough…”

In that moment, Huo Ye seemed to break down as well, and when he finally understood the familiar gaze, recalling it shattered his heart.

Seventeen is a contradictory age; it seems to be the best and worst in one’s life—some people are full of vigor, while others long to grow up, taking a step forward to maturity but still remaining a child in retreat.

Youth is a rainy season, it’s the sprouting green buds, it’s an incredible grand transformation from cocoon to butterfly, but not everyone can break free from their cocoons. Some butterflies, having yet to learn to fly, become forever trapped in cages.

Zhou Shengyi smiled, but his eyes turned red, coldly mocking with an indifferent tone, “Did you think I was the murderer who caused Lin Yu’s death? I never told him to die. No one in this world wanted to love him or treat him well; only I did. I gave him everything I had, and I didn’t even say a harsh word.”

“He was a flower already on the brink of death. I tried to give him tons of water, but if he didn’t want to live, what good would that do?”

“If I hadn’t seen you that day,” Zhou Shengyi cruelly pointed out this fact, “perhaps he could have made it through this winter.”

“No, no… that’s not it…”

Huo Ye shook his head; what did this have to do with him?

Zhou Shengyi ignored his trembling and continued, “Even without your existence, he might one day wither away, but if you didn’t hasten his death, perhaps he could have been saved.”

“Aside from the pain of illness, you are his accomplice in death.”

That day, Huo Ye got home late, having shaken off Zhou Shengyi, yet he couldn’t shake off Zhou Shengyi’s piercing words.

In the corridor, three or four floor bulbs were burnt out, and no one came to repair them. He could only feel his way through the dark. Accustomed to the darkness, Huo Ye surprisingly couldn’t see his feet for the first time and nearly stumbled several times.

There was a faint scent of smoke in the air. He was very familiar with this smell; it was the kind he often smoked—the lotus brand. But since deciding to quit, Huo Ye hadn’t smoked for a long while.

By the intensity of the smell, it seemed fresh, just extinguished not long ago.

Feeling a slight craving, Huo Ye hurried upstairs, avoiding succumbing to his temptation and failing his quit attempt, not daring to think too much.

Recently, the frequency of hallucinations had been increasing. He often felt as if someone was following him, but when he looked back, there was no one; he constantly heard strange noises, like choking coughs coming from downstairs while he was doing his homework.

Huo Ye pulled aside the curtains and looked down at the large banyan tree directly outside his window. The shadows of the tree swayed under the moonlight, and in the silent stillness, it felt as if something was stirring in the dark, but he couldn’t make out more.

Like a startled bird, even the slightest noise could trigger his irregular heartbeat, requiring him to take a handful of medication daily to stabilize.

However, fortunately, those debt collectors had been relatively quiet lately, perhaps because the New Year was approaching. Even heaven, which brought about suffering, had a heart, allowing him to enjoy a period of peaceful days.

This cold war lasted longer than anyone could imagine, almost continuing for a full two months, but there were no signs of reconciliation.

Neither of them spoke, and no one dared to intervene.

The last winter break before the college entrance exam offered students pitifully little time to rest. After just ten days, there were piles of papers to be done, leaving them wishing they could split the twenty-four hours in half.

Occasionally, he would encounter Zhou Shengyi, but Huo Ye was mostly unwilling to engage with him. Whenever they did meet, it often led to Huo Ye coldly scolding him, telling him to get out of the way or to roll further away.

Zhou Shengyi never received a word of praise but seemed to find pleasure in being cursed at by Huo Ye, grinning as if he enjoyed it.

Once the dark side was unveiled, there was no need to continue hiding. After Lin Yu died, Zhou Shengyi let go, placing all the blame for his faults on Huo Ye to make himself feel less guilty.

Huo Ye often thought it was he who was pitiful.

So desperately longing for love yet directing all his hatred towards the one who loved him.

In early February, back to school after the holiday, in one class, Huo Ye suddenly suffered an acute gastric attack. Having experienced this pain countless times during sleepless nights, he often went alone to get an IV, and having seen so many hospitals in the early morning hours, he could calmly make a judgment.

Huo Ye forced himself to lean on the desk, silently enduring until after class when he approached his homeroom teacher to ask for leave. The teacher just noticed his pale complexion, as if he had just been pulled out of water, with his back slightly bent and worriedly asked, “Do you want me to call a classmate to accompany you?”

“No need, I can manage myself.” Even saying this, Huo Ye’s expression remained indifferent, and he even managed a faint smile.

After receiving the leave slip, Huo Ye slowly walked out, using his hand to support the wall as he descended the stairs step by step.

He was lucky that the class bell had just rung; otherwise, if it had been during the break, walking at this snail’s pace would surely have disturbed others.

Huo Ye suddenly felt a moment of blurriness in front of him, accidentally bumping into someone. Instinctively, he said, “Sorry,” wanting to brush past, but the other person grabbed his arm, “Huo Ye?”

Looking up, he crashed into Zhou Shengyi’s deep black eyes.

“What happened to you?” he asked.

Seeing him gave Huo Ye a headache. If he hadn’t lacked the strength to push Zhou Shengyi away right now, he could have punched him against the wall.

However, Huo Ye could only weakly curse, “I told you to get lost! Why do you keep showing up in front of me?”

Zhou Shengyi didn’t retort, seriously gripping him tightly.

The two of them pushed and pulled each other on the stairs when a chillingly strange voice sounded above them—one Huo Ye had never heard before, steeped in a cold tone, as if brewing a storm about to come.

“—Huo Ye, is it because of this person that you want me not to care about you?” Upon hearing this, Huo Ye’s mind buzzed and suddenly cleared.

He struggled to look over; a tall, looming figure overshadowed him from above. Those beautiful and proud eyes were hidden in the dim light, with lashes lowered, carrying an overwhelming sense of pressure.

It was Shen Tingyu.