NH chapter 038

Chapter 38: Different

As they went down the stairs, they passed a few advanced classes for the first-year students when a boy suddenly rushed out of a classroom, colliding directly with the cornering Huo Ye. Both of them stumbled back a few steps.

Shen Tingyu reached out to steady Huo Ye’s back, allowing him to regain his balance. Looking up, he was stunned.

The boy before them was tall and slim, with a small bone structure, but he didn’t appear weak; he exuded a powerful stubbornness. His brow bones were high, his features clean and three-dimensional, and his pair of peach blossom eyes had a profound affection that seemed to lift when looking at anyone—yet that wasn’t the main point; the point was that his expression bore a slight resemblance to Huo Ye.

Although his features weren’t as deep and sharp as Huo Ye’s, the mutual glance shared a hint of familiarity, making even Huo Ye feel a shiver, thinking he had seen a distant cousin he didn’t recognize.

However, it was just a first impression, as a closer look revealed they didn’t resemble as much. This boy was only around 170 cm tall, appearing shorter than Huo Ye and significantly slimmer, looking more delicate overall.

Upon seeing Huo Ye, the boy also froze. His lashes were damp, and his eyes were subtly red-rimmed, staring blankly at Huo Ye.

Staring at Huo Ye’s somewhat familiar face.

For several seconds, he didn’t blink, as if he had known him for a long time.

Shen Tingyu frowned and asked Huo Ye, “Your brother?”

“… Junior,” Huo Ye replied.

“It seems like he’s seen you before.”

Huo Ye nodded, feeling the same, “I don’t know, let’s ask.”

So Huo Ye slightly lowered his head to meet the boy’s gaze and earnestly greeted him, “Hello, are you…”

“Turns out it’s you,” the boy murmured.

Huo Ye: “… Me?”

Turns out it’s you, turns out it’s you.

The boy cast one last profound look at him, an indescribable complexity in his eyes, a wave of strong emotions surfacing. Unfortunately, Huo Ye couldn’t comprehend it at that moment; once missed, it would be forever gone.

Bumping shoulders, the boy brushed past, leaving Huo Ye looking back in confusion.

He must have recognized the wrong person, right?

Shen Tingyu asked, and Huo Ye replied that it should be the case, saying, “Let’s go.”

“Which group are you sending messages to?!” Zhao Jiayan yelled, nearly losing his voice while rummaging through a drawer for his phone, papers flying everywhere, “Revoke it! Revoke it! Hurry up and revoke it!”

“What happened? What happened??”

Zhang Li, terrified, dropped his phone, scrambling to pick it up from under the desk, mumbling, “Revoke it! Revoke it!”

Wu Zhen squatted down to help him gather the scattered papers, but when he got it back, he couldn’t unlock it without his fingerprint and handed it back to Zhang Li; Zhang Li took it in a flurry, unlocking the screen to open their usual group chat.

Zhang Li held on to the forwarded message link with trembling fingers, frozen for a moment, while Wu Zhen urged, “Hurry up and revoke it!”

“… No need to revoke it.”

Zhao Jiayan put his phone down sadly, “Two minutes have passed.”

Wu Zhen sat down weakly on the floor.

“What’s going on? Why do we need to revoke it??” Zhang Li was still in a state of shock, “You all hurry up and explain, explain!”

Returning to the suburban area took about twenty minutes by taxi. On the way, Shen Tingyu developed a high fever, feeling dizzy and unfocused. When Huo Ye suggested going to the hospital for an IV, he refused, insisting he’d be fine just taking medicine at home.

Huo Ye couldn’t argue with him and had to agree.

Halfway through the ride, Huo Ye felt a weight on his shoulder; Shen Tingyu leaned over, his warm nose rubbing against Huo Ye’s neck, feeling somewhat ticklish.

“Do you feel unwell?” Huo Ye patted his forehead again.

Shen Tingyu mumbled an “Mm,” breathing heavily and slowly.

Huo Ye asked, “Do you want to lie down for a bit?”

“Yeah.”

The response came too directly, as if he had been waiting a long time for that question, always so overbearing with solid confidence.

Huo Ye was utterly unaware; he let Shen Tingyu rest his head on his lap. Whenever they drove back to Shanqu, Song Jianlan and Huo Yan would also lie on his lap when tired. —It was just a proper show of intimacy.

Since Shen Tingyu was sick today, he could act a bit less like an “ordinary friend,” and this seemed reasonable.

Suddenly, feeling something nudge his arms, Huo Ye snapped back to reality, realizing he had spaced out again. This time was even worse than when they were in high school; he couldn’t even focus.

Shen Tingyu turned to live his face into Huo Ye’s embrace, his jacket slightly unbuttoned, the warmth there made people long for it. With every breath came the faint scent of Huo Ye’s soap.

Like a cold little animal seeking comfort in its mother’s soft, warm fur during winter, always relying on it.

Huo Ye knew that this creation of dependency wasn’t a good thing for Shen Tingyu, so he tried somewhat to create distance during this time, not without reason.

One couldn’t remain like a child forever, and the first lesson in growing up is learning to separate because time has its end, and the hourglass has been running out since the day they met.

The more they spent time together, the more Huo Ye understood how significant the gap was between him and Shen Tingyu. Now, they were just colliding due to youth; he knew that one day they would no longer intersect.

Letting go while progressing slowly.

Shen Tingyu was different from Xiong Ying and the others, but where exactly it was different, Huo Ye thought deeply and could only say it was a family difference.

From having an aversion to being ordinary friends, to being good friends who come together for warmth, the process was not easy.

Yet to return from being unique good friends back to being ordinary friends treated equally turned out to be far more difficult than expected.

Obviously, the duration of their acquaintance wasn’t that long; Huo Ye often wondered where exactly the problem lay? What did that subtle distance represent? What were those indescribable feelings?

It felt like being on the edge of understanding, yet could not comprehend.

Shen Tingyu soon fell into a deep sleep on his leg, breathing evenly. With the fever, he felt like he was hugging a hot water bag.

Huo Ye absentmindedly ran a hand through his hair, lightly tangling the strands around his fingers, while the other hand casually took out his phone, almost habitually checking the 999+ notifications.

Wait, 999+??

How long had it been since school let out for them to chat so much in just ten minutes? Huo Ye swiped a few times, realizing it was Wu Zhen and Zhao Jiayan frantically spamming messages and sending a lot of emojis.

Huo Ye originally thought little of it, but unexpectedly, his finger slipped and clicked the arrow in the upper right corner, jumping back to the top of information he hadn’t seen, which was a post link forwarded by Zhang Li.

Normally, Huo Ye wouldn’t be interested in looking at it, but fate seemed to enjoy playing tricks since this post had an enticing headline.

“Explosive!! Are the boys at our school getting this bold now? They actually had a passionate kiss in the bathroom during exercise time…”

The original poster: I’m not spreading rumors; I have the proof. I was squatting in the men’s restroom of the west area teaching building when I suddenly heard two people come in. I held on tight to the paper towel, fearing that I’d make a sound by accident, as everyone knows, people are very vulnerable at times like these… went off-topic, but the bottom line is I thought they would leave after a while. Who would have thought that not only did this couple not leave, but I also saw something indescribable!

Following that, the poster uploaded two blurry photos taken from a stealthy angle. Although the pixels were low to the point of being pitiful, it wasn’t difficult to discern the intimate positions of the two boys in the pictures.

One was active, the other passive. The active boy had a clean and handsome buzz cut, his figure slim and powerful, muscle lines thin yet smooth as he pinned the other one against the wall, one hand on the waist and the other gripping the wrist.

It was a strong attack that didn’t seem gentler, as the passive boy looked clearly in some pain, but mingled with the sweetness of a bittersweet torture.

Saying they were a couple didn’t entirely fit; it felt more like a means of emotional release, and although it resembled a kiss, it felt less like a tender exchange more like suffering, tormenting, yet enjoying the moment.

The post quickly topped the forum trending list, the fire of discussions rising rapidly, seemingly uncontrollable.

Since the original poster didn’t blur the other’s faces much, even though their faces weren’t captured well, just from their body shape and partial appearance, soon someone in the comments identified them down to their class and names.

[The guy with the buzz cut looks familiar; isn’t he Zhou Shengyi from Class 5? I think I’ve seen him before; I even said he was handsome, a cool guy with an aloof vibe. I was told by a classmate to try to get his WeChat, but thankfully I didn’t dare. Turns out he likes guys!]

[To the one above, you’re not mistaken; it’s indeed Zhou Shengyi. I’m in the same class as him. The other guy is Lin Yu from Class 7; he often goes to see him, and sometimes they play around, never knowing they were actually dating, wow…]

[Lin Yu?? So close, I’m spilling some tea about someone in my own class. Lin Yu is my roommate, and he’s usually so introverted that he doesn’t talk, existing very low-key in class. I heard he has psychological issues, and the teachers told us not to provoke him, fearing it might trigger him. Now I finally know the problem; turns out he’s gay? It’s kinda dangerous living with him, right?? Shivers.jpg]

[The guy in the same room, remember to wear extra underwear at night, haha, good luck to you.]

[Wow, I just glanced at the photos, gross! How can two guys date like this? Are there any normal people left in the world??]

There were shocked reactions, expressions of disgust, and curious onlookers, all sorts of voices quickly piling up, forming high rise discussions beneath the post.

They were treated as freaks, among the oddities in a crowd.

Moreover, it often seemed that the male group had the most vehement reactions to male homosexuality; straight men, flaunting their sexual orientation, would make the most malicious assumptions about them.

Observing the mocking and disdainful gazes around, the whispers constantly felt like needles in the back, cold laughter ringing in mockery.

As Huo Ye read through it all, his heart felt like it was thrown up high into the sky, then plummeted into an abyss. Within those countless distasteful remarks, he should’ve been able to resist the discomfort and stop reading, yet for some reason, like masochism, he just couldn’t bring himself to exit.

It was painfully clear, as if awakening from a dream.

The vehicle moved unevenly, finally reaching their destination, stopping near the security booth of Half City Liufang. Huo Ye recalled his first day arriving here, so strange yet so familiar, but he could never replicate the feelings from that time.

Clearly, Shen Tingyu was lying in his arms now, but his thoughts flew back in time rapidly, as if they were half a year ago when Shen Tingyu walked through that door, his proud and slightly guarded eyes meeting Huo Ye’s. Huo Ye still remembered it vividly.

That subtle distance wasn’t merely putting each other in the first place of friendship; it was the heart of countless touches long desired but uncertain of which stance to take, having long crossed into unfamiliar territory.

This was the issue of “he is different.”

Shen Tingyu was different.

Because aside from him, Huo Ye had never found anyone cute.

After getting out of the car, Huo Ye habitually used a password to unlock the door; the house hadn’t recorded his fingerprint. However, after entering the code twice, it turned out that both times were wrong, continuously showing “password incorrect.”

“What’s going on? I feel like I’m the one with the fever.” Shen Tingyu leaned against the side, speaking with a nasal tone.

Huo Ye stood there dazed for a moment before saying, “Oh, maybe my memory isn’t so good lately… I remember it; I just forgot.”

Shen Tingyu stepped forward to unlock the door himself, muttering, “How could you forget things you remember? Does that even make sense? Did studying make you dull? Forget it; I’ll ask the housekeeper to record your personal information next time—”

“No need,” Huo Ye suddenly interrupted, “This is your home.”

The door opened, yet neither of them entered immediately. Shen Tingyu raised his eyes to look at him silently, his dark gaze intense.

Perhaps due to a bit of guilt, though he didn’t know why, Huo Ye turned his eyes away and stepped inside.

However, before he could take half a step, his back bumped against the edge of a cabinet. Thankfully, Shen Tingyu had preserved some strength due to not feeling well, so Huo Ye didn’t feel pain, but the pressure that surged over was still considerable.

“Huo Ye, what do you mean?”

Shen Tingyu pushed him against the shoe cabinet by the door. Since that cabinet only reached Huo Ye’s waist height, he had to bend backward awkwardly, his upper body almost hanging in mid-air, swaying perilously.

Huo Ye’s heart skipped a beat as he gripped Shen Tingyu’s arm, barely managing to support himself, forcing a smile as he said, “What do you mean?”

“Don’t act dumb, Huo Ye. I’ve had enough of you.” Shen Tingyu’s eyes were a fiery red due to the fever, and a chilling flame sparkled within them, “You’ve been distancing yourself from me lately, trying to draw a line. You only ever brought breakfast for me before, but starting this month, I’ve noticed you bring it for everyone, and I can’t stand it!”

Huo Ye’s eyelids twitched, “…”

Ah, this.

He tried to compose himself and reply, “Well, isn’t there a soup dumpling place downstairs that’s really good? Zhao Jiayan and the others occasionally found out and asked me to bring them often—”

“I don’t want to hear that!”

Shen Tingyu fiercely interrupted him: “If they want to eat, they can go buy it themselves. Why do you have to bring it? I don’t care who it is, whether they broke their arms or legs; in short, if you bring it for me, you can’t bring it for others. If others can have some too, then I might as well not eat.”

That was jealousy, but he didn’t know what exactly he was jealous about. After all, friends often got jealous of one another. For example, one would suddenly realize that their good friend had developed a new friend. Even though they knew that friend, it wouldn’t be the same as before.

Huo Ye struggled to find a response, and after clenching his teeth, he twisted his body, trying to break free and escape into the room, “… If you don’t want to eat, then don’t.”

While Shen Tingyu, though sick, swiftly acted like he had taken adrenaline, hastily using his knee to prod between Huo Ye’s legs right before Huo Ye could begin to escape.

With a loud “thud,” it nearly shattered the cabinet, and Huo Ye was instantly pinned in place, unable to move.

Shen Tingyu gritted his teeth and declared, “Whether you eat or not, that’s my decision.”

In that tense moment, an elderly lady appeared in the room, trembling as she walked out, startled to see the two of them in a standoff, “Oh dear, what are you doing? Yaoya, let go of Xiao Qi, no fighting!”

Huo Ye quickly shook his head, trying to explain, “No, no, Grandma, we’re not fighting. Uh, we are just…”

Just as he was racking his brains for words, Shen Tingyu suddenly leaned forward, and Huo Ye instinctively turned to catch him, preventing him from collapsing to the floor. The elderly lady gasped, “He… he… he…”

Huo Ye interjected, “He’s fine; he just got a bit dizzy from the fever.”

After a brief explanation to the elderly lady, Huo Ye carried Shen Tingyu back to the bedroom, breaking out in a sweat from the effort.

Just as he was about to extricate himself, his collar was suddenly yanked down fiercely, and Huo Ye nearly stumbled against Shen Tingyu’s chest, his hands pressing against the pillows on either side.

“… Am I allowing you to leave?”

Shen Tingyu clung to Huo Ye’s collar stubbornly. The usually cold gaze now shimmered with tears, while his long lashes barely concealed his emotions.

Huo Ye stared absentmindedly for a few seconds, instinctively avoiding eyes contact, not knowing when he had started to find it increasingly difficult to look Shen Tingyu in the eye.

“I never said I wanted to leave.”

Huo Ye whispered, “I was just preparing to get you some medicine.”

“I don’t believe you.” Shen Tingyu was unrelenting, his voice filled with resentment and sorrow, “You and my mom are the same, both stingy and big liars… You give me something but don’t want to fully give. If you give me more, you take back what you’ve given; how does that make sense?”

“… Clearly treating me so well, all while making me think that you are the one who treats me best, yet then I discover that you aren’t just good to me alone. It’s really annoying.”

“You do what you want; you act however you like, wanting to anger me but then soothe me back with a few words. I let you succeed each time; on what basis?”

“You’re the one who approached me first. You can come and go as you please. What do you take me for, a dog that you have trained?”

“Huo Ye, don’t stay silent.”

“Do you… not want to be with me anymore?”

Feeling as if he was dealt a tremendous grievance, Shen Tingyu’s high fever burned away the last semblance of rationality he had, desperately wanting an answer. All the while pursuing Huo Ye’s evasive gaze.

Huo Ye felt conflicted, speechless for a moment.

—I want to be with you, of course, but not in the way you’re thinking. How can I make Shen Tingyu understand that I may have inappropriate thoughts towards him?

Huo Ye was naturally perceptive to emotions, clearly sensing what one might need to release. It was like every time Shen Tingyu would snap and speak harshly, he would try to push him away; instead of getting angry, Huo Ye would move closer because he knew Shen Tingyu needed the kind of understanding he had always lacked from family and parents.

Just like whenever someone felt down and expressed wanting solitude, Huo Ye would never leave because he knew he should embrace that person without hesitation, ensuring that not a single tear fell to the ground.

Huo Ye caught every single emotion from Shen Tingyu, fully aware that this could lead to dependency, yet after forming it, he would eventually have to force him to break away, showcasing a heart so ruthless.

But what could be done?

Recognizing his perhaps impure motives, he couldn’t continue interacting with Shen Tingyu like he used to.

Their paths were so vastly different, destined to just walk side by side for this brief year or two, short enough that only a few hundred days were left.

“Our two” didn’t have much time remaining.

Shen Tingyu held his breath till the end, even losing the last of his patience. The knuckles gripping Huo Ye’s collar turned pale, trembling slightly from the extra force, filled with hate, yet also pitiable.

Still so proud, uncaring, and not revealing weakness, Shen Tingyu spoke in a tone of throwing caution to the wind: “Do you hate me now?”

Do you hate his pickiness, his temper, his insistence on having all things done in accordance with his wishes? Do you also hate his endless capriciousness?

… No, I don’t hate you.

Huo Ye heard himself softly say, “I don’t hate you.”

Shen Tingyu was like the rose nurtured by the Little Prince; without devoted care and nourishment, he would quickly wilt away, then demand attention by pointing towards his wilting petals, claiming it was because the love he received wasn’t enough.

“I don’t hate you.” Huo Ye reiterated firmly.

“Is that so?” Shen Tingyu asked stubbornly, “Then why do you avoid looking me in the eye when responding?”

His heart thumped irregularly, causing a painful ache in his chest.

Huo Ye fell silent.

— I don’t dare to look at you because I like you.

But no matter what, he couldn’t speak those words.

So all Huo Ye could do was repeat a third time, “I don’t hate you.”

“Bastard, are you freaking…?” Shen Tingyu was nearly fainting again from his obstinacy, “Are you a parrot or something?”

Huo Ye no longer spoke softly, stating firmly, “Let go. If you don’t cool down, your head is really going to go bad. I’m going to get the medicine.”

Of course, Shen Tingyu wasn’t going to let go. But under the nearly forty-degree fever, he helplessly faltered in front of the fully energized Huo Ye, reluctantly giving in.

He wanted to grab hold but ended up with nothing.

As Huo Ye took the last step out of the bedroom, Shen Tingyu pushed himself to say, “Huo Ye, if I don’t wait for you to return in ten minutes, I’ll die in front of you…”

Somehow, Shen Tingyu didn’t die. Less than three minutes later, Huo Ye walked back in with the medicine box and a thermos.

Huo Ye plugged in the thermos, raising his brow, “Is it okay for me to prepare it in front of you?”

“…” Shen Tingyu turned away, burying his face in the pillow, only quietly keeping an eye on Huo Ye’s movements with a little peripheral vision, not saying a word.

He seemed to quite like watching him.

Whenever Huo Ye noticed, he would act nonchalant, but the moment he shifted his gaze, he would immediately turn back to watch closely every single action.

During the few minutes waiting for the water to boil, Huo Ye repeatedly recalled the two photos he had just seen, recognizing that one boy named Zhou Shengyi seemed quite familiar, as if… he had seen him somewhere.

Where had he seen him?

Why couldn’t he remember, why couldn’t he remember?

Sinking into that thought, Huo Ye suddenly noticed Shen Tingyu’s uniform jacket thrown on the bed. A warning by instinct flared up, right, he had forgotten something.

He must find Shen Tingyu’s phone before he managed to see that post, delete that group chat message.

For some reason, Huo Ye had a gut feeling that if Shen Tingyu saw that post about… it might lead to a situation that was even harder to control, which couldn’t happen; it absolutely couldn’t.

“Take this fever-reducing medicine, then sleep,” Huo Ye sat at the edge of the bed and handed over the cup of water while discreetly reaching for the uniform jacket.

Shen Tingyu sat up, looking sluggish but surprisingly obedient, taking the medicine without complaint, as if silently saying, “I’ll settle this account with you after I recover.”

Huo Ye searched through the jacket pockets; from this angle, it was somewhat awkward, but after thorough checking, he found nothing.

Was it still on him?

Most likely, since Shen Tingyu usually kept his phone in the pocket of his jacket or pants; if it wasn’t in the jacket, it should be in his pants’ pocket.

Huo Ye was in a dilemma. How could he smoothly and overtly reach into Shen Tingyu’s pants pocket without it seeming awkward?

As the medicine started to take effect, Shen Tingyu soon couldn’t hold on anymore, but he insisted on Huo Ye staying nearby until he fell asleep.

“How old are you that you still need someone to accompany you while sleeping?” Huo Ye sighed helplessly.

The only strength Shen Tingyu had left was fighting against Huo Ye’s wrist, yet still keeping a proud face, he declared defiantly, “Don’t forget who saved your life before… I signed for the surgery; I kept you company during the night watch. You were moaning in your sleep, causing me to lose sleep all night.”

Huo Ye didn’t remember that happening at all; his first reaction was to deny, “Impossible, I never cry out in pain…”

The grip on his wrist tightened, and Shen Tingyu suddenly coldly called his name.

“Huo Ye, why are you afraid to admit it?” Shen Tingyu asked, not understanding and unwilling, word by word, “It’s clear that you need me too.”

Not just you accommodating me.

… Huo Ye, clearly I treat you well too.