FBF chapter 9 part 3

“Here! Here! Come sit quickly!”

Kang Youngsoo was sitting in the back of the bus. At that moment, he pointed to the two empty seats in front and gestured for me to hurry up and sit down. Lee Jihoon, who had walked ahead, stood in the aisle instead of sitting down in response to Kang Youngsoo’s excitement, and only when I approached him did he shove me forward into the seat.

“Just sit down first. Why?”

His somewhat dazed question received a straightforward answer.

“We’re getting off first anyway. Do we really need to get up twice?”

That was a typical response from someone like him who valued efficiency. It was indeed true that Lee Jihoon and Kang Youngsoo would be getting off the bus before me as they were heading to a study academy. I felt awkward receiving such excessive manners from guys. It just felt strange between men… But unlike me, Lee Jihoon didn’t seem to feel anything odd at all as he plopped down into the seat next to me and set his bag down beneath it. His elbow brushed against mine slightly as he leaned forward, but I pretended it didn’t bother me and kept my arm still.

“Yeah, yeah. Seon-uk, stop being formal and sit down already. What is there between us?”

Kang Youngsoo popped his head between the seats and teased. Instead of pretending he didn’t hear, Lee Jihoon quickly scanned the highlighted English words on the printout in his hands and replied nonchalantly.

“Isn’t it a bit late to be calling us formal? You already did that before we even got on the bus.”

The top of the printout that Lee Jihoon was looking at had the name of the academy we attended boldly printed on it. I couldn’t help but gaze at the name ‘Lee Jihoon’ written right underneath in small cursive letters, swallowing hard without responding.

Kang Youngsoo and Lee Jihoon were both exceptionally expressive. If they were happy, they said so; if they were disappointed, they voiced it; and if they were angry, they certainly made that clear. In contrast, I had always been excessively rigid. My reasons were there. Until I transferred to Taean, I had never been this closely involved with friends, nor had I had many opportunities to express emotions. The sight of Kang Youngsoo and Lee Jihoon openly displaying their affections in words or actions felt foreign to me. The reason I stumbled in return when they did so was because I had never experienced the act of returning affection myself. Both of them jokingly labeled me as ‘formal’ because of this. Even when Lee Jihoon was unable to brush off my words about how he valued my birthday more than I did, he simply misunderstood it as me awkwardly struggling to adapt to his expressive way of communicating.

The term ‘formal’ was something that might seem more fitting between a man and a woman, and there were so many misconceptions that I wanted to correct, but I chose not to. Perhaps it was for the best. The two of them likely considered my lack of immunity to acts of affection from others as simply my nature and thought that I would occasionally forget what to say or respond slowly in front of Lee Jihoon, just a given aspect of my character. For the first time, I felt grateful that my expression was so simple in comparison to theirs.

‘Even though we’re so close, I still have no idea what you’re thinking. I often wonder if you really do like me.’

I recalled the last girlfriend I had, who had confided in me as she gazed into my eyes, sharing thoughts of how I wasn’t fun or whether dating at this infrequent rate was even right. Although there were times we had broken up for similar reasons, I had never been confronted with such direct statements before. Staring at me in confusion, Hyunju sighed loudly and shook her head. See? Even after going this far, you aren’t even flinching.

Was it good that Lee Jihoon wouldn’t catch onto my feelings unless I disclosed them? If I were to never confess my feelings for a lifetime, that could very well be the case. Just the thought of the word ‘confession’ made my heart feel like it was tightly gripped by an invisible hand, squeezing and releasing. It was a sensation akin to motion sickness. I bit my lip and quickly turned to gaze out the window.

“What’s up? Did something happen again? Damn it, if you guys keep this up, I really will consider transferring. Didn’t I tell you not to have fun without me when I’m not around?”

“Just say the first verse, you idiot. They said they couldn’t come.”

“Why? Didn’t a transfer student come to your school? I checked with Woogie earlier, and he said it was true.”

Lee Jihoon lifted his eyes from the printout. Kang Youngsoo’s gaze also turned to me in confusion. Now that I thought about it, I did receive a text from Kang Youngsoo earlier asking about the transfer student. I nodded my head after a beat.

“Ah… yeah. It’s in our class.”

Lee Jihoon frowned slightly in surprise.

“Is that so? What is he like? I heard he talks a lot.”

It seemed he had heard some rumors and was concerned. Well, considering the gossip that circulated in the school before Choi Hyuk-jun transferred, I might’ve asked something similar too.

Well…

I recalled Choi Hyuk-jun, who had called himself a ‘punk’ but had been unusually quiet all afternoon. The only thing he had asked after lunch was, “How many classes do we have left here?” And he had only asked that after napping for two hours. Approaching his desk, I thought about waking him up only to remember how the teachers always passed by him without a word. I resorted to just tapping the timetable on his desk instead. With puffy eyes, he stared at the schedule before once again dropping his head onto the desk. I even thought that it was quieter and easier to study than when I sat next to Noguri.

Regardless of whether he had any grudge against his father, who had sent him to this location, if he just kept out of trouble like he did now, we wouldn’t really cross paths often in the future. He had already gotten a tour of the school, and I had seen him receive his textbooks, so there was no need to pay much attention. Having made my judgment, I shook my head.

“He slept through the whole class today. I don’t think he’ll create any trouble.”

I didn’t know what sort of mischief Hyuk-jun caused to get expelled from his previous school, but right now, he didn’t seem likely to make waves in this school. Just as I was thinking this, Lee Jihoon, who had been studying me closely, seemed to recognize that nothing was off and returned his gaze to its original position.

“Well, that’s a relief then.”

The way he said it was as if he trusted my words.

“Why, why? Why so many questions? I didn’t hear that… huh?”

‘Next stop is Nonghyup, Nonghyup. The next stop you will get off at is Eonhyeong Intersection.’

Kang Youngsoo, who had been poking me curiously while switching glances between Lee Jihoon and me, focused on the closing door and quickly pulled his head back, which had been leaning into the space between the seats.

“Grandma! Please sit here.”

“Oh no, I’ll be getting off in two stops anyway.”

“Eh? I’m also getting off soon, just a little further.”

Kang Youngsoo smiled warmly and insisted to the kind grandmother who was repeatedly shaking her head. Realizing what was happening too late, I tried to stand up along with Lee Jihoon, but before we could react, Kang Youngsoo dove onto our laps.

“Ah, damn….”

I grimaced, reflexively raising the printout in my hands, and Kang Youngsoo blinked exaggeratedly in response.

“Lee Jihoon. Since I did a good deed, how about treating me to cup-bokki?”

“Cut it out and get up.”

“Ah ah ah, I didn’t bring my wallet. You treated An Hee-yeon without any hesitation!”

“What? Am I supposed to split 2000 won with you? And what does that have to do with me?”

“Why don’t you treat me?”

“Why should I treat you?”

“Honestly, you’re so selective with your spending habits. What can’t I do for you better than An Hee-yeon?”

“You should compare apples to apples, idiot.”

“Ah, I want to be treated too!”

Kang Youngsoo squirmed as if throwing a tantrum, and every time he twisted his body, his sneakers flew and clattered in the aisle. Each time, Lee Jihoon replied by slapping Kang Youngsoo on the butt with his fist. The sounds echoed with a sharp ‘thunk’ each time. Aak! Aak! Even as he writhed and yelled, Kang Youngsoo stubbornly refused to get off our laps. It was a sight I had seen so many times that it barely evoked a reaction, but it still made me embarrassed as always. I leaned a bit closer to the window, trying to separate myself from them and gazed outside. While attempting to lift my knees to force Kang Youngsoo off, I listened closely to the announcements. Regrettably, they still had two more stops before getting off.

“Stop pulling up your pants, you crazy bastard. I can see your underwear pattern.”

“Is it showing now?”

“Yeah.”

“I didn’t wear any today. How could it show?”

When I looked at Lee Jihoon, who was at a loss for words, Kang Youngsoo erupted into laughter. In a competition between the two, the one who ran out of words first usually lost. It had been a long time since Kang Youngsoo had beaten Lee Jihoon. However, Kang Youngsoo’s triumph didn’t last long. Suddenly, Lee Jihoon began murmuring while staring at something on the bus.

“You’re not wearing any underwear?”

“Yeah.”

“So, Kang Youngsoo, you’re saying you aren’t wearing any underwear right now?”

Lee Jihoon seemed to repeat the same question as if reading from a textbook, and I instinctively covered Kang Youngsoo’s mouth.

“Uh! Hmph!”

Ding-dong. The bus buzzer rang, and students looking to disembark crowded the back door. Regrettably, among them was a face I recognized. It was Kang Youngsoo’s ex-girlfriend, someone I had hung out with a couple of times due to Kang Youngsoo’s antics. There was no way Lee Jihoon wouldn’t recognize her. The reason he had just purposely brought up Kang Youngsoo’s name was very likely related to this. As expected, Kang Youngsoo’s ex-girlfriend stood with a friend, looking over at us with an awkward expression, almost as if she had overheard our teasing about underwear.

“Jumin-ji, hey.”

Just as I was about to cover Kang Youngsoo’s mouth again because he shot me a look as if asking why this was happening, Lee Jihoon raised his hand and waved.

“Uh… it’s been a while.”

With an expression that was bewildered, Kang Youngsoo’s ex-girlfriend awkwardly returned the greeting. At the same moment, Kang Youngsoo’s eyes widened dramatically.

“…”

“…”

“…”

“…”

With a hissing sound, the back doors opened. Kang Youngsoo’s ex-girlfriend took one last glance at us before she turned forward again to follow her friend out. Before she left, she threw a final comment over her shoulder.

“Did… Kang Youngsoo, I truly didn’t hear anything?”

If she hadn’t said that, I could have hoped for the best. I slowly released my hand from covering Kang Youngsoo’s mouth. Still, nothing came out of his agape mouth. Lee Jihoon was already leaning back against the pole, chuckling quietly.

After a while of mouth agape, Kang Youngsoo finally managed to say something.

“I….”

“……”

“In front of my ex-girlfriend, I just talked about underwear, didn’t I?”

“……”

“No… I had underwear on… It was a joke…”

“……”

“I meant… no… I was wearing underwear….”

Kang Youngsoo, repeating the same word as if buffering, seemed to be in shock. Meanwhile, the stop for Lee Jihoon and Kang Youngsoo was drawing near. Lee Jihoon grabbed Kang Youngsoo by the neck and dragged him to stand up while holding onto his wallet to swipe his card. I heard the voice muttering something about underwear just as the bus slowed down to a stop. I could see the tteokbokki shop outside the window.

I subtly nudged Lee Jihoon while pointing to the tteokbokki shop with my eyes, lowering my voice as I spoke.

“Just buy it.”

It was a hint to buy either cup-bokki or anything else. Even though Kang Youngsoo had started this, I felt it was unfair considering Lee Jihoon didn’t tell Kang Youngsoo he had seen his ex-girlfriend even after they had locked eyes. Lee Jihoon, who must have known this well, responded with a mischievous grin, winking one eye at me. He then raised his right hand so Kang Youngsoo wouldn’t see and gave me an okay sign. While Lee Jihoon swiped the card, he subtly opened his wallet and glanced at the bills inside before turning back to me.

“Do you want to eat too? I’ll treat you.”

I hesitated for a moment, then shook my head. I knew there wasn’t much time left before their study session started and besides, after that uncomfortable lunch earlier, I felt a bit queasy as if food still lingered in my stomach.

“I’m not feeling so well.”

“Because of your cold?”

“No. I think it’s just that I ate too quickly for lunch.”

Just as I finished speaking, the bus stopped. Lee Jihoon quickly said goodbye.

“Got it. I’ll see you at dinner.”

Both Lee Jihoon and I attended the same study room together. Today, he would head straight to the study room right after the academy class ended. Just as I nodded, Lee Jihoon pulled Kang Youngsoo’s neck and dragged him off the bus. The streets were bustling, particularly because it was a popular academy area, so many students in their uniforms filled the sidewalks. People continued to rush onto the bus, causing a delay in how long it took to disembark, allowing me to still see Kang Youngsoo and Lee Jihoon walking toward the academy.

Through the open window, the noise from the street drifted inside.

Lee Jihoon, who had been dragging the dazed Kang Youngsoo, suddenly stopped. A student passing by seized his arm unexpectedly. The girl smiling and talking to Lee Jihoon was someone I recognized from my past. She was An Hee-yeon, who was in the same class as me in middle school. Now that I thought about it, I had heard she attended the same school as Kang Youngsoo, and with the vest and skirt that looked similar to his baggy pattern, it made sense.

Seeing Kang Youngsoo still in shock, An Hee-yeon looked puzzled, and Lee Jihoon explained something to her. Shortly after, An Hee-yeon burst out laughing and playfully patted Kang Youngsoo’s shoulder. After checking the time, Lee Jihoon said something, to which both Kang Youngsoo and An Hee-yeon nodded. Through the momentary silence, three voices drifted with the wind out the window.

“Let’s go. I’ll treat our gloomy Youngsoo!”

“Yes, oppa. I’m feeling so down, so please order me some sundae. You bastard.”

“You’re calling me oppa? This crazy kangyoungsoo is really laying it on thick!”

By the time I looked again, Lee Jihoon was already linking arms with both of them. Although he only had his hand lightly resting on their shoulders, due to his larger size than either of them, from a distance it looked like he was hugging them both tightly. An Hee-yeon was almost completely obscured by Lee Jihoon.

Ding-dong, the sound of card swipes stopped abruptly. The bus, weighted down by the crowd, seemed ready to roar back into motion at any moment.

“Hey, hey, because of this vest, I can’t raise my arms.”

“Does no one say anything when you wear your uniform that way?”

“Who cares? Everyone walks around like this. But I guess if it’s like Youngsoo with no underwear, someone might say something.”

“Hey, Hee-yeon. Can’t you tell I’m about to cry…?”

At a moment when I should’ve turned my gaze away, I found it impossible. I fully turned my head to survey the three standing outside the tteokbokki place. I saw Lee Jihoon burst out laughing and hold the door for An Hee-yeon to enter before finally turning my head back again.

“……”

Even though I wasn’t feeling well, I found myself regretting that I might have been better off simply eating along with them rather than feeling anxious about them getting up mid-meal because of their study session. As an unexpected wave of regret hit me, I tried to clear my throat as if to shake off such useless thoughts while gazing ahead. I had the feeling that it would take a long time to get used to such emotions.

The sound of the door opening quietly followed with a presence behind me. Most likely, it was someone from the same room as me. Come to think of it, the senior in grade 12 who sat furthest inside would usually arrive at this hour. I glanced at the pile of textbooks stacked to the ceiling, including the preparation materials for the university entrance exam, as I pulled my chair closer while keeping my eyes glued to the reference books.

The study room was cramped with six desks squeezed into one space. It was a design that allowed big seniors like him to pass without needing to bump into me.

Contrary to my expectations of him passing by quickly, the presence behind me lingered. I felt a hand gently tap my shoulder. I turned my head to the right. The desk was either glowing yellow or white, making it hard to discern due to the time spent staring at it. Blinking for a moment, I confirmed it was someone I recognized and opened my mouth.

“Ah….”

The sound that unexpectedly escaped my lips was probably louder than I intended, causing someone in another room to clear their throat. It wasn’t an uncommon occurrence to have such disruptions in a quiet study room. At that moment, Lee Jihoon pressed up closely to my desk.

“Let’s go to the lounge.”

He was partially bent over in front of me as if to stand right behind my desk. He propped a hand on the reference book next to me and leaned forward, looking at me closely. The way he spoke, trying not to disturb anyone in the study room, made his face appear smooth. It seemed Lee Jihoon had taken off his academy uniform since he was wearing only a white t-shirt; he emanated a scent of fabric deodorizer. Given his sensitivity to smells and penchant for cleanliness, he always had some kind of deodorizer handy whether it was at school, the study room, or at home. To me, the scent of the blue fabric deodorizer had become synonymous with Lee Jihoon.

Lee Jihoon opened his mouth once more. Speaking even softer than before, he began to nearly whisper.

“Don’t you want to?”

Cough, cough. This time, it sounded louder, as if closer to a warning rather than just a notification. Lee Jihoon looked back in a bemused expression at the disturbance. Even though the rooms were divided, the desk space was open, allowing sounds to cross over from one room to another. Though the earlier commotion was perhaps a little overboard, surely it wasn’t right for someone who was not studying to remain inside. I turned off the lamp on my desk and picked up the English vocabulary book I planned to look over in the lounge.

As I stood up, I gave Lee Jihoon a light tap on the back as he continued to pout. His nature, unwilling to contain himself when faced with something he didn’t understand, hadn’t changed.

‘It’s just typical of dudes who aren’t studying…’

I recalled how notorious the senior in grade 12 was for being sensitive to the slightest sounds, and how he would make a fuss when someone sharpened a pencil. In that context, it’s no wonder that Kang Youngsoo would often recount tales of how, with Lee Jihoon still playing baseball, he would inevitably face problems regarding his character. Even now, Lee Jihoon shot disapproving glances at the empty air once more. Well, at least it was fortunate that although he was getting older, he was no longer as quick to say something outright. Upon noticing the plastic bag hanging from his right hand, I halted for a moment.

The surface of the bag read “Sea Pharmacy” in large letters.

“Here.”

Although I hadn’t expected anything, once we settled into the lounge, Lee Jihoon handed me the medicine bag.

“…What is it?”

He wore a frustrated expression as I didn’t take it right away, finally taking my hand and pulling it to grasp the bag.

“You said you weren’t feeling well, idiot. It’s obvious you didn’t buy medicine, so I brought this for you. So take it.”

I hadn’t complained about feeling ill but had merely mentioned that my stomach was uneasy. Yet, I found it embarrassing to bring up that I hadn’t asked for anyone to buy me anything like this. Inside the bag were an antacid tablet and some liquid antacids. As I glanced at a yellow container whose use I couldn’t quite determine, I hesitated before finally asking.

“Is this yours?”

Lee Jihoon, who had been flipping through my vocabulary book, lifted his gaze. Upon checking the container, he brought his gaze back down and responded.

“No. It’s also yours.”

“……”

“It’s a vitamin. I saw that students preparing for exams really take them, so I thought you might want to try some. It could be that lacking vitamins is why you’re getting nosebleeds.”

It was nothing significant, yet as he spoke so casually, I rubbed beneath my nose without thinking. Ever since I entered the second year, I’d extended my study hours a little beyond my norm. It had even become a little punishment I imposed on myself for drifting off into daydreams while studying recently. Since the time spent in school was limited, I had to pull late-night or early-morning sessions to catch up. Cutting an hour from my sleep led to occasional nosebleeds while I washed my face in the morning. They’d usually stop if I pressed some tissue against it, but there were times when it wouldn’t stop until I boarded the bus. Although I’d only experienced it once or twice, it seemed Lee Jihoon remembered this. A good memory, I thought as my heart began to pound.

As I cleared my throat, Lee Jihoon turned his head up.