FBF chapter 5 part 5

“…What’s that?”

“A bicycle.”

“Did you think I wouldn’t know that?”

After openly scoffing, Lee Jihoon stopped joking. He kicked the bike’s stand lightly and added an afterthought.

“My dad wouldn’t let me borrow the motorcycle.”

I’d assumed he would walk all the way to the good spot, so I asked out of the blue why he had brought a bicycle instead of a motorcycle. It was ridiculous to think he wouldn’t know the answer to that. Nonetheless, I found his reasoning amusing.

“…Would you lend a motorcycle to someone like you?”

A few months ago, I was relieved that Lee Jihoon had even taken his bicycle, given that this was a guy who often flew planes. If it were me, I’d be afraid he might become a bicycle road hog, and I wouldn’t let him ride at all. No, I probably wouldn’t even let him out of the house on a night like this.

Having understood what I meant, Lee Jihoon looked awkward.

“Well, I didn’t ride a motorcycle back then… I even said no when my older brothers offered to give me a ride.”

His meek excuse was especially quiet. It reminded me of times when he came over to my place, and my grandfather would scrutinize the lollipop he was sucking on instead of a cigarette, and he’d awkwardly spit it out to show him. It was just a few months ago, yet he seemed deeply embarrassed by it now.

It was always hilariously funny to see him shrink in such moments, as he usually never did in front of anyone else. I chuckled as I approached him on the bicycle.

“Be nice to your dad.”

Lee Jihoon let out a laugh as if air was escaping, and he stepped closer. He lightly nudged the bike support he had been holding.

“Well then, you should be nice to me. I’m giving you a ride on this bicycle tonight.”

I subtly lifted my gaze from the saddle.

“…You’re going to give me a ride?”

Lee Jihoon boldly responded. Why? Unlike him, I was caught off guard by this new piece of information. I had a bicycle at my home in Seoul too. Naturally, I knew I could carry someone on it. But that was a long time ago when I was smaller, like in elementary school. Would I even fit on that tiny rack behind the saddle?

Lee Jihoon’s gaze also landed on the rack as he assessed my expression. At the same time, as if we were synchronized, we both exclaimed.

“I’ll drive…!”

“I’ll sit in front…!”

Their words intertwined like a perfect audio match. After a brief pause, we both opened our mouths again three seconds later.

“No!”

“No!”

Seeing the same frustrated expressions, I knew our remarks would be similar. After witnessing Lee Jihoon’s hands on his hips, I eventually motioned for him to speak first, being the owner of the bike after all.

Lee Jihoon looked as if he was contemplating how to win this argument before crossing his arms. A sly smile spread across his face.

“If I sit there, it’ll hurt because you’re pressing down on me.”

“……”

“It hurts more the bigger I get. Do you want to see me become a eunuch?”

I wondered if he really meant that, and indeed it appeared that he did. Watching him point at the oddly shaped rack and then at his private parts while making pained expressions felt absurdly crazy.

That said, this was what it was. I folded my arms like Lee Jihoon.

“Are you the only one who’s grown?”

Lee Jihoon, whose mouth had just opened wide, nodded reluctantly.

“Well, now I have nothing to say. I’ve seen you in the bathroom too.”

“Ugh, gross.”

I threw a potato chip at him for referencing my private parts. He caught two with ease while grinning. His movements were precise, like catching a ball. It was all rather dorky and weird due to his smirk, yet it felt like he had anticipated just how much I would dislike it and was having fun at my expense. Regardless, it was clear I wasn’t in a position to tell Kang Youngsoo off.

I seized the moment and quickly continued. Fortunately, the clever idea I’d just formulated seemed quite reasonable.

“Just sit sideways. Problem solved?”

Lee Jihoon hastily plopped down on the saddle to make it hard for me to object.

“Get on the back already. Kang Youngsoo’s waiting.”

That part was true. Our phones had been buzzing back and forth since earlier with messages from Kang Youngsoo. Looking as if he couldn’t help it, Lee Jihoon glanced back at the rack once more, then poked my back repeatedly. He made a falsely innocent face while blinking his eyes.

“You at least have to put a handkerchief down, right?”

After retrieving a towel from the clothesline in the yard, I folded it in half and laid it on the rack. Only then did Lee Jihoon settle in behind me. He spread his legs rather than sitting with them together like someone in his position would normally do. It didn’t seem particularly painful even when the bike hit a bump; instead, he playfully shouted.

Lee Jihoon grabbed my waist with one hand while holding the potato chips in the other. When we had to stop for a passing car, he would tug at my shirt and talk.

“Hey. But you smell like soap.”

What was he talking about? I turned back to find Lee Jihoon, grinning broadly.

“Cucumber soap.”

I turned my head back ahead without answering. Then, unlike I’d been cautious before, I accelerated when getting over the bump. The moment I heard his scream from behind, I revealed my reason for the punishment.

“I use shampoo, you bastard.”

Still, there was a reason Lee Jihoon had brought the bicycle. As the sweat began to bead on my forehead, the bike finally came to a stop after a long way riding against the coastal road. The moment Kang Youngsoo spotted us from where he sat in a gazebo, he jumped up, waving his arms.

“Ah, why did you take so long to get here? I was super scared alone!”

I could understand what he meant. This place was so isolated that I could see how someone might feel frightened given how dark it was. The only sources of light were two flashlights that Kang Youngsoo had seemingly brought along, blinking brightly. Just as I was walking over, my attention was drawn to the scenery behind him.

From this height, it seemed like the sea and sky merged into one point. Even the blackness looked the same yet distinct in an amazing way.

“…Wow.”

I let out an involuntary exclamation. The light festival had seemingly begun. Various colors filled the sky above.

“Isn’t it beautiful? I’m so glad you came to see it!”

There was no choice but to nod agreeably at Kang Youngsoo’s proud voice. It really was beautiful. It was a sky unlike any I’d ever seen in my life. The scenery where the light reflected in the sea looked like a transparent decal, stunningly beautiful.

How long had I been watching like that?

“Now it’s the last part.”

Only after Kang Youngsoo’s words did I come to my senses. I had realized that the festival was already coming to an end. Unlike me, who had been lost in admiration while Kang Youngsoo and Lee Jihoon munched on potato chips and chattered away, they had come closer to the end. They both approached me, seemingly wanting to share the final finale experience together. Before I knew it, all three of us were sitting next to each other at the edge of the gazebo.

We all sat in silence for a while. While it was natural for Lee Jihoon and me to not speak, it was surprising that Kang Youngsoo, too, kept quiet. It was odd and curious, so when I turned to look, a particularly bright burst of light decorated the sky. Reds gathered to form the phrase ‘Make a wish.’

“Seon-uk, make a wish quickly! It’s a once-a-year opportunity.”

Kang Youngsoo nudged my side and demonstrated by closing his eyes and pressing his hands together. I awkwardly looked away. I expected Lee Jihoon, who I thought would tease me for being childish, but surprisingly, he, too, had closed his eyes like Kang Youngsoo. Though he hadn’t put his hands together, it was clear he was making a wish as well.

From the rare serious expressions of both Kang Youngsoo and Lee Jihoon, I found myself wondering about just how sincere the wishes they made were.

I questioned if I had such a sincere wish myself. A moment where when the time comes to make a wish, I could straightforwardly close my eyes and press my hands together.

I looked up at the sky again. After more than an hour of fixating on the sky, I finally let my hands move, which had been still the whole time. With great effort, I brought my hands down and closed my eyes.

Then, I made my wish.

To never forget this moment for the rest of my life.

Thankful for my grandfather who brought me here, and for these kids.

I thought we would return home after the light festival, but Kang Youngsoo behaved as if this was just the beginning. Slamming the guitar he had hurriedly grabbed in our direction and positioning us like an audience signified that fact. Knowing that Kang Youngsoo didn’t quit the practical music school of his own volition, I chose to listen rather than dissuade him.

Of course, that thought vanished in an instant as Kang Youngsoo began strumming the guitar with an expression of deep enthusiasm.

“I felt it instinctively~”

I too felt it instinctively. Kang Youngsoo had absolutely no singing talent.

Hadn’t he claimed he attended a practical music school for over a year? No matter how much I thought about it, it made no sense. The only one who could resolve the mystery was Lee Jihoon, who was now cupping his ears like headphones. It was close to pretending to enjoy the music but really just blocking out the sound.

It implied that Lee Jihoon had watched Kang Youngsoo continue to make noise for over a year without intervening. After confirming that he could not hear us due to the higher octave, I quickly turned to Lee Jihoon.

“…And you’re friends with him?”

Feigning ignorance, Lee Jihoon only offered an excuse when our eyes met.

“A true friend is someone who unconditionally supports what you want to do.”

In moments like these, I started to understand why those two were friends. Instead of pressing Lee Jihoon further for the responsibility, I recoiled slightly. I awkwardly smiled at Kang Youngsoo’s blissful gaze as he held the guitar up to show me.

As it turned out, my mere acknowledgment seemed enough for Kang Youngsoo, who with a rather smug expression, put the guitar down.

“I totally have talent, don’t you think?”

After saying that loudly and glancing at me, he seemed to hope for a nod in agreement. I could manage a clap, but I had no confidence to lie beyond that, so I hastily changed the topic.

“By the way, did you… I mean, have you played this for your girlfriend?”

I had been curious while listening to Kang Youngsoo’s guitar strumming. If it were Lee Jihoon, I’d understand, but why hadn’t Kang Youngsoo’s girlfriend heard about it, given they had been dating for quite a while?

“Minji?”

Whenever the girlfriend topic came up, Kang Youngsoo’s expression brightened, and his voice went a pitch higher. He pushed the guitar aside and nodded vigorously.

“Of course, I’ve played it for her. Minji is my biggest supporter. Sometimes, she won’t even let me serenade her because she says to save my voice for practice. Doesn’t that just mean she wants me to sing better?”

I was left speechless. There were endless ways to endure a lack of talent. But perhaps, in a way, Minji handled it the smartest. Instead of openly hurting Kang Youngsoo by critiquing him, she praised him and found a way to never have to hear him sing again.

“Speaking of Minji, it reminds me. Hey, Lee Jihoon. By the way, why didn’t you reply to my texts?”

“What?”

“I texted you about going out with Minji’s friends on the Sunday after finals. Our Minji says her wish is to go on a couple’s date. She wants to do it just once, so please help me out, okay? I’ll treat you. I’ll pay for everything.”

I had only admired Minji’s cleverness for a moment, but before I knew it, Lee Jihoon and Kang Youngsoo were in a heated argument. The subject was familiar. Kang Youngsoo pushing for that sort of hangout, which was no different from a meetup, and Lee Jihoon persistently shaking his head in annoyance was a sight I’d already seen plenty of times.

Even though Lee Jihoon found it uncomfortable to get along with girls he wasn’t dating, he persisted more than usual this week because Minji had especially asked for it.

“Why not just join us? I mean, they’re asking so nicely.”

Ignoring Kang Youngsoo’s voice entirely, Lee Jihoon turned towards the dialogue for the first time since it began, glancing towards me. He appeared to wonder why I had suddenly joined in. I shrugged. Kang Youngsoo was blissfully unaware since he had gained an unexpected ally.

“Oh right! I’m asking you like this. Come on, Ji-dok. Just once, give it a chance. I promise I’ll do well.”

Kang Youngsoo’s insistence grew.

“You don’t even know the friends of Minji. They’re all super pretty, don’t you? If you don’t believe me, just tell me your ideal type. I’ll make sure to find someone just for you.”

“…Ideal type?”

Lee Jihoon finally offered a response with some substance. Seeing him show interest, Kang Youngsoo nodded eagerly. It seemed that Lee Jihoon was half convinced.

“Yeah! Your ideal type! Just tell me!”

After brief contemplation, Lee Jihoon tossed out his thoughts.

“…Someone who isn’t sick.”

“……”

“And someone who can stay by my side for a lifetime.”

Both Kang Youngsoo and I were left speechless. Seizing the moment, Lee Jihoon snatched up the potato chips in front of us without concern for our silence, continuing nonchalantly.

“But if I tell the girls I meet that sort of thing, they’d think I’m crazy, so I’ll just pass.”

“…….”

“…….”

“And besides, I need to study, I’m super busy.”

With that habitual remark he’d been using so far this semester, Lee Jihoon abruptly ended our conversation. He ended with a tone that made it clear neither Kang Youngsoo nor I would add anything further.

I recalled Lee Jihoon, who had just moments ago prayed with his hands clasped. Perhaps his wish was related to what he had just mentioned.

“…Not so crazy, huh? You’ve thought that out quite objectively.”

After quite some time had passed, Kang Youngsoo awkwardly picked up the conversation again. Just after hesitating for a moment, he affectionately ruffled Lee Jihoon’s hair. Normally, Lee Jihoon would have pushed him away, but today he remained still, receiving the gesture. Instead, I only nudged some potato chips closer to Lee Jihoon.

All three of us understood.

That wish was connected to the moment Lee Jihoon lost someone, which is why, at that instant, none of us could say anything.

The ride home was quieter than on the way there. Perhaps it was because I had just heard Lee Jihoon’s earlier words. Unlike earlier, Lee Jihoon was silent the whole way back.

‘…Someone who isn’t sick.’

‘…….’

‘And someone who can stay by my side for a lifetime.’

I had never seen anyone approach their ideal type like that. In truth, it would be rare for anyone of my age or even adults to express it so bluntly.

Unless, of course, someone had actually lost a sick person before.

“What’s up?”

Ignoring my lingering gaze, Lee Jihoon turned to face me by the blue gate. Due to unexpected circumstances, he had dropped me off in front of my house. Even though I saw him take a natural step down the fork in the road, the unusual atmosphere left me speechless, unable to suggest he leave.

“No, it’s just….”

“…….”

“Isn’t it a hassle to take the bicycle back home? Or do you want to leave it here and pick it up after the exams?”

“When exactly later?”

“…Huh?”

“When later, without you?”

I had not expected such a thought-provoking answer to my innocent question. While it sounded correct, the context made me uneasy.

‘And someone who can stay by my side for a lifetime.’

As I mulled it over, those words had suddenly stamped themselves in my mind. Even though it had nothing to do with who Lee Jihoon considered his ideal, I couldn’t shake the reflection.

“Uh, well, that’s true.”

I clamped my lips shut after offering a half-hearted reply. It suddenly dawned on me that I could never be someone who could stay by Lee Jihoon’s side for a lifetime. This realization might’ve held greater significance for him than it did for me, something I only grasped on this evening, despite my absence for just a semester.

Lee Jihoon briefly gazed at me before halting his bike. He seemed to suddenly remember something and asked.

“Did you talk with your grandpa?”

After deliberating briefly, I nodded. I had indeed spoken with my grandfather, albeit with not much having changed.

“Yeah.”

I thought he would just nod knowingly, yet he probed unexpectedly.

“What did he say?”

“Well, he just said that my mom would come pick me up… And thanked me for everything during my time here.”

“Then what did your grandfather say?”

I hesitated. Memories of my silent grandfather flooded in. Even though I was clearly showing signs of discomfort, Lee Jihoon’s gaze remained fixed on me. He seemed determined to learn every detail. Eventually, I found myself reluctantly repeating our awkward conversation. Yet I knew he was the one who reminded me of the importance of speaking with my grandfather.

“Well… he didn’t say much.”

Lee Jihoon silently observed me. His expression was inscrutable. It felt both pitying and critical of my answers, which made me flush with embarrassment. So, like Lee Jihoon earlier, I added defensively.

“I guess it’s a good thing. My grandfather doesn’t seem to mind me leaving. It was probably a hassle to start caring for me out of the blue, so it all worked out….”

“…….”

“Since my mom asked me to leave, he probably already knew. Guess that’s right. I can’t stay here indefinitely… It wouldn’t do him any good for me to be here, making him worry when he’s already busy.”

As I spoke, I realized I was making excuses on his behalf. I didn’t even know how to stop as I finally caught myself.

We lapsed into silence for a moment, like we did back in the gazebo.

“Hey.”

It was Lee Jihoon who broke the silence. I looked up but averted my gaze from him. He was staring at the blue gate behind me. It was vastly different from before, when he had held back his hand, descending as if my grandfather might hear him.

Before I could think about the change, Lee Jihoon spoke gruffly.

“Isn’t your grandpa working at the same factory as my dad?”

Honestly, I wasn’t aware of that. Lee Jihoon added explanations as if it weren’t surprising.

“My dad is the factory manager. Your grandfather works as a janitor.”

“…Oh.”

“My dad drives him to work every morning. It’s been ten years now.”

“…I didn’t know.”

Even if I were to stay here longer than now, would I have even learned that? I didn’t expect any significant reaction from Lee Jihoon for my awkward answer as he continued talking. At that moment, I could see he was probably trying to convey something through all this information.

I held my breath, full of anticipation. Almost too quickly, Lee Jihoon revealed his thoughts.

“But my dad said this. Your grandpa now seems like he’s living a bit more like a person.”

It was the first time Lee Jihoon referred to my grandfather not as “grandpa,” but as “your grandfather.” Before any surprise could settle, he began pouring out information. However, it seemed like this was already familiar information to the townsfolk, even if it was my first hearing.

“Before you came, he probably didn’t even speak ten words a day.”

“…….”

“The village chief probably had to tell him to at least speak that much. He shouldn’t be quiet all the time.”

After coming here, I had always shared dinner with my grandfather. Generally quiet, he occasionally initiated conversations. Despite being simple and ordinary questions, I knew my grandfather would at least speak more than ten words to me each day.

“Really?”

I exhaled a breath that I might have held in for a while. The instant I saw Lee Jihoon nodding lightly but without any amusement, I felt something swell in my chest. For the first time, rather than holding it back, I let it all spill.

“But even knowing that… I don’t know what I should do.”

“…….”

“I want to stay here as much as I can. Right next to my grandfather. But then my mom…”