FBF chapter 5 part 3

People live their entire lives not knowing things they have not experienced. I was the same. Even knowing that there are parents out there, I had never seen them, so I couldn’t understand what that feeling was like. The reason the banknotes given to me by Lee Jihoon’s father felt unfamiliar was that my own mom and dad had never given me pocket money in cash. The cards my mom and dad would hand me were always neatly tucked away side by side in my wallet.

During my first year of middle school, I once caught a really bad cold during winter vacation. I had lost my appetite and ended up going hungry until I finally went to a porridge shop. As soon as I paid with the card, I received a phone call from my mom. That was the moment I realized the card I used at the porridge shop was the one my mom had given me. She asked if I was sick and told me to skip the academy and take a rest. I said I would. Then I ate the porridge and fell asleep the whole day in a quiet house. My mom and dad didn’t come home until after dawn. Under normal circumstances, that would be expected, but on that day, I woke up several times from sleep, checking the door. Maybe I hoped that day one of them would come in and ask me something, even once. I wanted them to ask why I had paid at the porridge shop, not to make assumptions based on the transaction history, but just to come in and confirm if I was okay.

My grandfather was a man of few words. However, he at least seemed to care about me. He would ask in his own way if I had eaten breakfast or what caused the scars on my face. It was different from the way I had lived, but even if it was unfamiliar, it didn’t feel bad. Because he cared, I could speak up about myself. So I would tell him things about me. That I woke up later than usual that morning, that I hadn’t done the dishes after breakfast, that Lee Jihoon and Kang Youngsoo still fought whenever they had the chance, and that I thought the bathroom light was out and I switched it.

“…Can I just stay here until the vacation ends?”

My mom looked surprised. It was understandable. Usually, I wouldn’t have said anything and would have just gone along silently. However, I didn’t feel like retracting my words. Even if I would no longer be called a good son who follows orders, I was not confident that I could take that suitcase and leave home at that moment.

But I also knew too well that just pushing back wouldn’t work, so I slowly added explanations like I was trying to persuade my mom.

“There’s still a month until the final exams. If I keep going like this, I think I can get first place in the final exams too.”

“……”

“I want to finish well as the class president. If I do well until the end, it will make my student record look good.”

My mom continued to look at me without saying a word. I ended up even mentioning the plan I had prepared for the parts she might dislike the most. Since she had brought up me getting first in the whole school right away, I thought she wouldn’t say much if I told her I had a plan.

“I can prepare for the foreign language high school starting from vacation anyway, so I could go up after the semester ends—”

“What a strange place.”

My mom’s gaze suddenly interrupted my words as she looked out towards the sea. At that moment, I realized that the expression I saw on my mom’s face earlier wasn’t a misunderstanding.

“Someone who grew up in the same place was only waiting for the day to go to Seoul.”

“……”

“Another person says they want to stay here longer.”

“……”

“Isn’t it interesting? Furthermore, considering that the two are in a rich relationship.”

After admiring the sea for a while, my mom slowly turned her head toward me. Perhaps due to the setting sun, the orange hue gradually seeped into my mom’s cold expression.

So she said,

“…Okay. If that’s what you want, do it.”

She looked sad. In a way I had never seen before.

“When you come to Seoul, you will start anew in a new house.”

My mom let go of the suitcase she was holding and picked up the angular work bag resting on the floor instead. She briefly squeezed my shoulder and then stopped before the front door, turning back around. Ah, right. She looked like she remembered something.

“If you need pocket money, contact me anytime. It’s okay to use the card. That’s what I gave it to you for.”

My mom’s gaze was fixated on the cash I was still holding tightly in my hand at that moment. As if she needed to hear my response to that specifically, she stood there patiently, checking her wristwatch with a slightly anxious expression. In the end, I slowly nodded. Then I continued to watch my mom’s figure until she completely disappeared up the alley.

“I’m going now. Ah, yes. The conversation got a bit long. Yes. What does this black one say?”

My mom’s voice gradually faded until I could hear nothing. I stared blankly at my grandfather’s closed door. It felt like that firmly closed door, which had remained shut while my mom and I spoke, was showing what he thought when he came to pick me up at my mom’s request. It also seemed to show that he no longer cared whether I stayed in this house or not, which pricked at my heart.

I hesitated, but ultimately didn’t dare approach my grandfather’s door. Instead, I dragged the suitcase in the yard back to my room. Even though the sound of the wheels rolling on the floor should have reached him, my grandfather never looked outside his room.

* * *

“So you’re dating Yoo Hye-eun, or you’re not.”

“He said it’s boring.”

“Wah, no way, are you really not dating yet?”

“He says it’s boring, but he’s still sitting here chatting all the way to section three. With that dedication, why not study instead, Youngsoo? Are you planning to be 187th for a lifetime?”

“You’re the one who’s playing the field all the way to section four.”

“What nonsense is that?”

“If you contact and play around without any feelings, that’s just playing the field. What else would it be? Huh? If someone else does it, it’s managing a harem, but if you do it, what is it, a luxury cruise?”

“…Damn, for someone who said it isn’t true, you’re really acting like it. You’re making it hard to eat tteokbokki.”

“You’re eating very well for someone who’s supposedly uninterested. You’re really ordering fried food as if I wasn’t going to pay. Seon-uk, before this fisherman gobbles it all up, hurry and eat. It wouldn’t hurt to put it in the future brother-in-law’s mouth.”

“Again with brother-in-law, you stupid kid. That term is for the brother of your future wife. It’s not for the husband of your sister!”

“Here we go again. Did I ever say I didn’t know?”

“Ask him, your Seon-uk.”

“…Seon-uk. Is this guy right? Ugh, if that’s the case, why didn’t you fix it! I told you I saved your name as brother-in-law!”

There were two weeks left until the final exam. My homeroom teacher, who recently asked if I was writing my self-introduction needed for my foreign language high school application, already seemed to know that I would be transferring as soon as the vacation ended. Yesterday, I received a message from my mom too. It was a simple message asking when the vacation would start. While I couldn’t possibly forget the date marked big on the calendar in the staff room, I still couldn’t bring myself to reply to that message up to this moment.

The truth was, I still couldn’t fully comprehend it. The fact that I wouldn’t be here in two weeks.

“…Seon-uk?”

“……”

“Are we arguing?”

“……”

“Hey. Ji Seon-uk.”

“Uh?”

I snapped back to reality at the touch on my back. I realized I had forgotten where I was and with whom I was spending time, getting lost in my own thoughts again. The puzzled expressions of Lee Jihoon and Kang Youngsoo were not unfamiliar as I looked up. It was natural since I had been facing their puzzled faces every time the conversation stalled for the past two weeks.

Just like before, I hurriedly broke off the awkward gaze. The gathering was made because Kang Youngsoo, who quit the practical music academy, decided to treat us to tteokbokki. Since he got out early from the class, he was waiting for us at the back door, where he saw Lee Jihoon playfully greeting Yoo Hye-eun and had teased Jihoon about it the entire way. It seemed I had lost focus on their incessant banter, and it stretched longer than I intended.

“Oh, sorry. I was just thinking for a moment.”

Usually, Kang Youngsoo and Lee Jihoon would quickly fill the silence, but instead, they exchanged glances. The moment I felt uneasy, I soon had my forehead grabbed.

“Ah… come on! Don’t do that.”

Of course, there was only one person who would dare play with me in such a way. No matter how much time passed, I could never get used to Kang Youngsoo’s physical touch like this. Even if I tried to pull away as a sign of dislike, the guy was persistent, turning his hand around to press his forehead against mine.

“Do you not have a fever? Huh? Why can’t Seon-uk concentrate on conversations lately?”

“I’m just thinking. It’s nothing serious, so can you go back to your seat a bit?”

“Spacing out while talking, and thinking about other things while being together. Could it be a fever of love? Huh? It seems like the fisherman is not the one who should be worrying!”

What on earth is the fisherman nonsense?

Just to check, I looked straight ahead and found Lee Jihoon diving after tteokbokki, stuffing his face with it, with three pieces at a time on his fork. Thinking about Lee Jihoon silently indulging himself while I showed Kang Youngsoo the peace sign made me unable to be surprised even when he had suddenly shone with excitement at treating us.

I sighed and pulled my shoulders back.

“…Love? Not at all, so take your hands off.”

“What? This is more disappointing! Then what about our pig? Didn’t you buy snacks for him yesterday at the canteen? Huh? If a man buys snacks once, doesn’t it mean he should buy ice cream the next day? Then after that, a wedding ring. You ignite someone’s heart like that and just ignore them?”

“What flaming… But, how did you know that?”

I had indeed bumped into Kang Youngsoo’s younger brother at the canteen yesterday while waiting in line. It was hard to not notice someone who looked just like Kang Youngsoo standing right in front of me. While we took the bus together every morning, it had been awkward enough to wonder whether we should greet each other or not when meeting separately. The reason I bought him snacks at the canteen wasn’t anything grand either.

No, would I just pass by a kid who was pouting because he was 400 won short for snacks? He’s not a stranger.

In that instant, since Kang Youngsoo wasn’t by my side, I had felt more relaxed when purchasing those snacks, but now Kang Youngsoo seemed to have caught on, that’s why he was throwing out this nonsense. Following the direction of Kang Youngsoo’s gaze, I looked towards Lee Jihoon, who was pretending not to notice.

“…You want to die?”

Now that I think about it, I had gone to the canteen with Lee Jihoon instead of Kang Youngsoo. It was obvious who had exaggerated and communicated that to Kang Youngsoo. Lee Jihoon’s eyes darted away slowly, and he replied casually.

“Yeah. Sorry. But if you want to kill me, do it after I finish eating. They say a ghost that died satisfied looks good. Auntie, can we have another two servings of sundae?”

Seeing that brazen guy casually order more sundae after apologizing made me lose the will to comment at all. Just moments ago, I had been somewhat sentimental thinking that I wouldn’t see these guys again in two weeks, but now I felt embarrassed. I would still be sitting here fighting over tteokbokki every three minutes.

I glanced around the tteokbokki restaurant that Lee Jihoon and Kang Youngsoo had been coming to since elementary school and sighed. I needed to shift the conversation topic as everyone seemed to forget the previous topic of conversation that had left me confused, or else Kang Youngsoo would start prodding for reasons why I was spaced out again.

“So, what were we talking about?”

“Huh?”

“Weren’t you going to ask me something? You called me, but I didn’t hear.”

“Oh… right.”

As if suddenly recalling something, Kang Youngsoo turned his head forward. Despite being in a whisper that seemed like a secret, his voice was loud enough to reach even Lee Jihoon, who was deeply focused on the food.

“Lee Jihoon is dating Yoo Hye-eun.”

“…What?”

This was news to me. Seeing my eyes widen, Kang Youngsoo burst into laughter. “You didn’t know!” I inadvertently nodded in response. Lee Jihoon and Yoo Hye-eun had been a pair for two months now. Although Kang Youngsoo had exaggerated, the two certainly looked close enough that it wouldn’t surprise someone to think they were dating. Kids gossiping or sneaking glances when Lee Jihoon would tease Yoo Hye-eun during their breaks or when Lee Jihoon would bring back snacks or bread from the canteen for her confirmed that suspicion. Still, I had no idea they were really dating.

I thought to myself, being in the same class, couldn’t someone tell me that? Or is it too much to expect to be told everything? While I pondered this, I suddenly froze upon seeing Lee Jihoon’s head hang low.

“Hey.”

Slowly raising his head, Lee Jihoon called out to Kang Youngsoo. His tone was firm, and his face was devoid of expression. I had seen him get irritated when teasing Kang Youngsoo, but I had never seen him get serious like this, so it surprised me. Kang Youngsoo seemed taken aback too, and there was a brief pause as he sensed the tension.

“Keep it appropriate, alright?”

“……”

“That’s not true, I’m telling you.”

It felt like a warning. The chilling look and fierce attitude reminded me of a delinquent I had seen at the beginning of the semester. Fortunately, Kang Youngsoo, who resumed speaking right after, seemed entirely unfazed by Lee Jihoon’s intensity, just as he had been back then.

“Don’t think I’ll be scared just because you’re glaring at me like that. You’ve been managing your harem all year, and your reputation is the worst, you know? Even if you say you don’t care, honestly, Yoo Hye-eun probably likes you. Try denying that.”

Seeing Kang Youngsoo glaring back at Lee Jihoon made me realize that this wasn’t just a casual topic of conversation. I knew very well that at the beginning of the semester, Lee Jihoon was seen as the top troublemaker, but now he appeared suddenly transformed into a model student who considered meal times too precious to waste. The gossip had reached even me, being in the same class and always hanging out with Lee Jihoon, so it was only natural for Kang Youngsoo, who had connections in different classes, to hear even more. However, Lee Jihoon didn’t even flinch at the harsh criticisms. With his black eyes locked on Kang Youngsoo, he asked again in an even tone.

“Did Yoo Hye-eun say she likes me?”

“…What?”

“Did Yoo Hye-eun say she likes me?”

Kang Youngsoo looked perplexed. Even after clearly hearing that, Lee Jihoon remained calm, avoiding any panic. Then he poked at the last piece of tteokbokki left on his plate.

“I never heard that from Yoo Hye-eun.”

“Hah… After a moment of forced laughter, Kang Youngsoo defended himself.

“Maybe she didn’t have the courage to confess!”

“If she doesn’t even have the courage to confess, do I have to answer her feelings?”

Kang Youngsoo’s mouth dropped open at Lee Jihoon’s immediate retort, looking as if he had been verbally slapped.

“What an impudent jerk…”

Despite being cursed directly in front of him, Lee Jihoon didn’t let it phase him. He placed his fork down elegantly and picked up a tissue to meticulously wipe his mouth. The area around his mouth, which didn’t have anything on it, became cleaner than if he had never eaten at all.

Lee Jihoon raised his head again, yet this time with completely different eyes. It seemed almost as if he was putting an end to the tense atmosphere with Kang Youngsoo.

“End!”

With his hands raised high and a broad smile on his face, Kang Youngsoo could no longer hold back and lunged across the table. Wrapping his arms around Lee Jihoon’s neck, he mercilessly rammed his fist down on Lee Jihoon’s head. Whack! Whack!

“You bastard! Acting like you wrapped everything up alone!”

The aunt bringing tteokbokki to the next table looked over at them and shouted. “Oh dear, my brain cells are all dying!”

While waiting for Kang Youngsoo and Lee Jihoon to come back from the restrooms, I found myself staring at the arcade machines lined up in front of the stationery store right next to the tteokbokki place. One of them was running a Tekken game. As always when there are no players, the characters programmed into the game moved around as if engaged in a fight in a predetermined sequence. Usually, I would have dismissed it, but now I had a moment of free time and the rattling of the coins in my pocket caught my attention, especially since it was leftover change after buying snacks for Kang Youngsoo’s younger brother yesterday.

I took out all the coins. A total of 300 won. I dropped a 100-won coin into the front slot. As I selected the character that had spikes sticking out of its head like a cactus, the game began. The automatically designated opponent character wore a judo uniform.

Game Start!

Hearing the announcement sound, I awkwardly moved the joystick. This way? Oh, no, I also have to press the red button. I hesitated for a bit, but soon the bar shown at the top diminished quickly and my character fell flat on its face, gasping for air.

In that instant, I understood why people were often glued to the game machines for so long. Feeling competitive, I placed a coin right above the game console and picked up one to insert it into the machine.

This time I chose the character a little more carefully. Coincidentally, the opponent character was the same as earlier.

“…Ah!”

Thanks to focusing, I managed to last a bit longer than before, but again, my character fell flat on the ground. I had to win at least once. Fueled by my ambition, I swiftly inserted a coin into the slot. This was my last coin. Knowing it was my last round, I felt nervous, and my hand tightened around the joystick.

Alright, I tripped them. Next, I’ll throw a punch.

“Seon-uk.”

At that moment, someone had stuck themselves to my back and rested their chin on my head. The playful tone and their unrestrained physical touch left no doubt as to who it was. Without even checking, I pushed my back against them, building strength to break free.

“Ah, don’t stick to me.”

Even while this was happening, the game continued without interruption. The opponent character’s health gauge diminished far faster than my character’s. I might be able to win. I pressed the red button with a firm push and twisted my shoulder to shake off Kang Youngsoo, who was trying to lean on me. His weight was heavy, and moving my body became uncomfortable.

“Get off! Kang Youngsoo.”

Only after I warned him once more did he finally detach himself from me. He must have finally decided to be considerate. My shoulders felt lighter. I felt liberated, but just as I was reaching for the yellow button, I abruptly froze.

“I’m not Youngsoo.”

My shoulders became weightless. Just now, it seemed as if he had been leaning awkwardly against me, but now it felt like he was hugging me from behind. The arms stretching around my back settled on my hand that held onto the joystick, lightly shaking it left and right.

The opponent character flew through the air and then crashed into the ground, all thanks to someone deftly taking over my controls.

“Not Young-eun either.”

Since he was hugging me from behind, his voice was extremely close. I couldn’t even swallow. My focus was solely on the screen. Just then, I realized the person who had been hugging me from behind was not Kang Youngsoo. That realization brought on a strange feeling. Because that boy wasn’t the type to do this playfully with me, and moreover, he wasn’t someone who called me Seon-uk.

YOU WIN!

Underneath the large victory message, my character was jumping around cheerfully. I had finally succeeded in knocking out my opponent. I turned my head back to the person who had helped me. Lee Jihoon released my hand only after making eye contact with me, a mischievous grin spreading on his face.

“Jihoon.”

I spoke as if I had mistaken him for someone else.

Murmuring that, Lee Jihoon finally released his embrace. The boy, who had been crouched down, trying to hug me from behind, stood up and stretched. He also gestured towards the bus stop as if he wanted to say something.

“Let’s go home. I’ll take you back.”

Wondering if he was simply trying to keep his promise, Lee Jihoon kept his distance behind me as we walked. This was another first. Unlike the times Lee Jihoon had come to my house or when I had gone to his, there had been a clear reason—studying or coming to play games together. This time was different; nobody had planned this, yet he was following me, which felt odd.

The first thought that popped into my head was undoubtedly his boring antics I had seen all day. Even the weight he had put on me over the game console. I sighed as I thought about Kang Youngsoo, who often played around but had disappeared to pick up his girlfriend, leaving me to face the same old pranks. While it was hard to get used to the fact that it was Lee Jihoon doing that, Kang Youngsoo was an overt type, revealing everything, while Lee Jihoon, even when playing typical pranks, managed to remain elusive, which often left me feeling uncomfortable.