FBF chapter 3 part 2

“Is this…?”

I interrupted him. Calling him Lee Jihoon.

“I’ll just say this now, even though I probably can’t say it again in the future.”

“…….”

“Congratulations on your marriage.”

A few hours ago, I had a phone call with Kang Youngsoo. While chatting about this and that, he suddenly mentioned something out of the blue. Lee Jihoon broke up with his girlfriend. The question about our company’s new electronic products was just curiosity, it seemed. Really? The moment I heard my own voice asking casually a few seconds later, I realized I could never become numb to that fact. I would still have to endure this torturous routine a few more times until Lee Jihoon got married.

I would be gnawed by worries each time over who Lee Jihoon would meet, love, and whether he would marry them or not. Before, at least he didn’t talk about romance, but now he’d lay everything out, including the romantic tales, knowing I’d be privy to them. I knew I wouldn’t be able to remain indifferent in front of Lee Jihoon as he spoke about these experiences.

So I had to say it. Even if it was a confession of my limit rather than love.

“Don’t invite me to the wedding. No matter how thick-skinned I am, I can’t stand there receiving cash gifts after making this confession.”

“…Hey.”

For the first time, Lee Jihoon interrupted me and took a step closer. The uneasy quiver in his eyes seemed to have already guessed what I was about to say. A few turning points we had in our friendship came to mind. It was Lee Jihoon who held on to me during those moments each time.

It’s strange to think about. I was the one who couldn’t bear a life without Lee Jihoon, desperately clinging on, yet there were times he acted as if it were the opposite. What could I possibly hope for from someone who could only play the role of a cash gift receiver at a wedding?

“Congratulations in advance for your captain’s stripe.”

“…….”

“If you keep working hard like you are now, it won’t be long before you get one. It might even happen sooner.”

I revived the feelings I had buried to congratulate him on the significant events in his future, thinking that having to bury one heart just to save another shows the impossibility of this love.

“So what I mean is… live well. Just like you do now.”

“…….”

“I know you’ll be fine even without me saying this… but it’s the last time, so.”

I thought it was okay until the moment I said “last time.” I could not avoid Lee Jihoon’s gaze. I didn’t have the courage to face the look on his face upon hearing those words. I quickly broke my gaze and stepped back.

“I’m going.”

Before I could hear his reply, I turned my body. I slipped my foot through the open door and pulled my body out. I heard the sound of the door lock clicking shut behind me. Even as I prepared to run away, I knew he wouldn’t follow me while simply standing there. Still, I had to sprint down that apartment corridor at dawn. I only realized I had just run away from 14 years of memories once I could barely breathe.

I didn’t cry. I only tasted blood in my throat. As I coughed, unable to bear it, my nose started bleeding. Unlike yesterday, I didn’t even have tissues, so I hurriedly wiped the blood under my nose with my empty hands as I walked quickly. I parked the car deliberately far from Lee Jihoon’s apartment, not in the basement parking lot where he lived.

Once I got into the parked car, I buried my head in the steering wheel and caught my breath. The blood I couldn’t wipe dripped onto the mat below. It suddenly hit me. This mat was also a gift from Lee Jihoon.

“What’s with the state of your car? I was going to wash it and got freaked out. I got the best one, so use it for a long time. Take care of it a little.”

I had forgotten that I should have packed this in a box too.

But even if I realized this now, I wouldn’t take this to Lee Jihoon.

Because I had finally lost him.

“…Ugh….”

In the place where my first love was abandoned, I let out my tears.

I just lost everything. Then and now, I was unprepared.