FBF chapter 24 part 1

Side Story 2: This Again

Kang Youngsoo barged into the house the night before the trip. He said he couldn’t sleep because he was excited. He literally packed his bags and headed straight to our home right after work. The sight of him with a bright tube of air hanging around his neck was strange, especially considering that he still had his company ID badge hanging there. It made me fear that he might have inflated the tube at the office.

“Why didn’t you bring a butterfly net too?” Lee Jihoon, standing by the door, sneered, but Kang Youngsoo, with a cheerful expression, brushed him off.

“Come on, a butterfly net won’t help Ji-hoon if he ends up floating in the water.”

He seemed way too excited to care about Jihoon’s sarcasm.

I had noticed a few days earlier when he covered our group chat with various emoticons, but it was clear that the fact we were going on a trip together thrilled him. It had been ten years since the last trip we took together, and considering how we hadn’t had a proper journey since then, it made sense. Jihoon and I, having some responsibility for him, were simply going along with whatever he suggested. Although Jihoon’s patience seemed to be running thin due to Youngsoo’s frequent intrusions lately.

“Hey, damn….”

I shook my head as I grabbed Youngsoo’s arm, which was about to kick at my back in a carefree pose with both hands in my pockets. Jihoon, who saw my expression, clenched his teeth and lowered his legs. Youngsoo, not even paying attention to what Jihoon was doing behind him, started unpacking the bags he brought onto the table. He clapped his hands loudly to draw our attention.

“Let’s check if we have everything we need. Skin lotion, clothes to change into, disposable camera… Oh, right! Did you guys pack your swimsuits?”

Seeing us pause, Youngsoo made a knowing expression and then suddenly raised something into the air.

“I knew it! I bought you both swimsuits too! I’m the best, right, guys? I’m awesome!”

In his prideful hands were men’s swimsuits. They appeared to be the same style but just in different colors. Setting aside how short they looked, the idea that we were all going to wear matching swimsuits was something only Kang Youngsoo would do. While I was at a loss for words, Jihoon unwound his tightly crossed arms and stepped forward. The one who plopped himself down on the sofa extended his hand towards Youngsoo.

“Hey, give it here.”

Jihoon examined the suit he received and shook one in front of me. A bright fluorescent yellow swimsuit fluttered in the air. I barely ignored Jihoon’s expression as if asking if I would tolerate this. I cleared my throat. If I didn’t want to wear that swimsuit, I just had to eliminate the chance of getting into the water. Luckily, there was plenty of time to persuade Youngsoo.

“…Do we have time to swim? I thought we were going to be busy following that plan you mentioned.”

“Come on, it’s summer, so it’s long anyway. The sea out there is really beautiful. It would be such a waste not to go. Why? Does Wook say you shouldn’t go into the water yet?”

“No… that’s not it.”

I accidentally blurted out honestly, seeing Youngsoo’s worried expression, and immediately regretted it when I noticed his brightened demeanor.

“Then it’s settled! Hey, Wook, when else can you show off a good body like this? If I were you, I’d take it off right from the start.”

I involuntarily glanced at Jihoon’s expression. Youngsoo, still clutching the swimsuit, was looking at me. Just moments before apprehension took over, Jihoon poked Youngsoo in the back and asked casually. His expression was calm.

“Is Ji Seon-uk fit?”

“Super fit.”

“How do you know that?”

“Why wouldn’t I? Just touching over the clothes is enough to tell.”

Youngsoo replied nonchalantly and then picked up the camera in front of him, pointing it at me. “Wook, do a V, V!” Even though I didn’t pose as commanded, the flash suddenly went off. Opening my eyes that had closed momentarily, I locked gazes with Jihoon, who was staring at me intently. With a peculiar expression, he looked me up and down.

“Really? I didn’t know since I didn’t get to touch over the clothes.”

Words I would have easily brushed off in the past now stuck in my throat. In some sense, it wasn’t entirely untrue, considering that the last time Jihoon had his hand inside my clothes, it was before Youngsoo came in. The fact that Jihoon was trying to out himself to Youngsoo at any opportunity signified that his mood was tightly knotted. I coughed awkwardly and avoided his gaze. A strong feeling hit me that this trip might not be as easy as I thought.

“Ten years certainly does change things. This feels completely different.”

This was the first thing Kang Youngsoo said as he stepped into the village. His words rang true. It was a place we had visited a decade ago, but aside from the huge flower tree that appeared just after crossing the long forest, there was hardly anything resembling our memory of it from that time. According to Youngsoo, since the beach had opened a few years back, an increasing number of young people engaged in surfing and marine sports could be seen from the entrance lined with pension houses, where young men and women clad only in swimsuits crisscrossed.

The place Youngsoo had booked for us wasn’t far from where we had stayed ten years ago. He had initially planned to book the same house for nostalgia, but after a call with a colleague, he regrettably informed us that the colleague’s grandmother had retired from the pension business, and the place had turned into a small mart. I thought of Jihoon’s expression as he heard that. The one who had insisted on hotels since the idea of cooking while traveling was bothersome had momentarily pondered before nodding his head when he heard where we were going to stay.

‘Wook, you okay with this too?’

The moment I said yes, Youngsoo’s gaze drilled into me as if he were about to book immediately, while I could feel Jihoon’s eyes fixed on my profile from across the room. To be honest, it wasn’t an appealing proposal, considering how deeply the incident from twenty years ago in Gangneung influenced all of us.

But I nodded. If Jihoon was okay with it, I needed to be too. The realizations we made while rummaging through the box of memories wouldn’t resolve themselves simply by pretending they didn’t exist. Sometimes, you have to explore the bundle together, and Jihoon probably perceived this as one of those bundles.

Among the many items in the box, there were no reminders of our memories from Gangneung. This was a recollection of a time when we didn’t even have the luxury to build memories. I used to think it was lucky that there was nothing tangible to breathe life into those memories. It wasn’t until now that I realized that was merely an excuse to avoid confronting it.

“Watch your step on the gravel, Ji Seon-uk.”

I stopped mid-step, following Jihoon, whose hands were stacked with boxes. The two-story accommodation was well-lit. Initially, I thought the light flowed in through the large door facing the sea, but upon closer inspection, it seemed otherwise. The light poured in from the ceiling. More accurately, it came from a window that opened up to the sky.

“It’s going to be a killer view of the sky at night.”

I turned my head. Jihoon, who had dropped off the bags, had also been looking up at the ceiling like me. I nodded in agreement at his remark, but paused when I noticed his hand naturally wrapping around my waist. Out of reflex, I checked around. Luckily, Youngsoo wasn’t in the accommodation. I recalled him saying he was looking for his phone to ask the owner about the hot water. But still, he’d be back in a few minutes. After deciding, I hurriedly pushed Jihoon’s hand away.

“Ah, don’t.”

Even without any effort, his hand secured itself around my waist again, this time slowly brushing along my side. I attempted to remove it, but he only tightened his grip further. Even receiving an absurd look, he winked at me, clearly unfazed. I pointed discreetly towards the door he came in through and whispered a warning.

“If Youngsoo comes in…”

“So what? Even if that idiot sees, it won’t really mean anything.”

“Well, still…”

“‘Seon-uk, is it okay if I stand on the other side?’ I’ll be lucky if that’s all he says.”

Here it started again. I was undecided on how to broach the subject of our relationship, while Jihoon, for the opposite reason, was reluctant to come out to Youngsoo. To be precise, it didn’t help that he was often overly cautious, making it so that Youngsoo couldn’t catch on about us.

Sometimes, it felt like a battle of shields and spears. Jihoon, lately, appeared increasingly emboldened. When Youngsoo had asked why there were two pillows on the bed during his visit, Jihoon had replied with an artful opportunity. While Youngsoo gradually surveyed the room, he pointed at the air conditioner and surmised, “Ahh… so there’s an air conditioner in this room, that’s why we’re sleeping together? Well, it is summer. The bed is big enough anyway.” Jihoon, glaring at Youngsoo until he finally left, leaned toward me with a whisper.

“Isn’t that guy a bit prejudiced against homosexuality?”

“…He knows I’m gay.”

“If that’s the case, then you must be prejudiced against me.”

“……”

“At this point, I kind of want to go all out.”

“…That doesn’t seem necessary.”

“Since it’s come to this, let’s see it through to the end. I’ll make him recognize our relationship, no matter what comes.”

Jihoon’s face held a stubbornness that was evident in his eyes ablaze with determination. It looked like there was no use trying to persuade him otherwise. I shook my head, having said all I could. Shortly after, I became an audience to the clashing trial of Jihoon’s stubbornness and ignorance. Occasionally, I thought about seriously stopping Youngsoo to talk but remained silent whenever Jihoon knocked down the balls he threw, leaving me wondering if Jihoon thought the idea of us dating was a laughable concept not worth considering.

“Did you put on sunscreen?”

A casual touch on my nose pulled me from my reverie. Jihoon’s eyes scanned my face. He seemed intent on checking if I had applied sunscreen. I scratched my chin and awkwardly turned to avoid his gaze.

“Uh…”

Noting his tone, which suggested I was about to be scolded, I couldn’t think of a solid defense. Jihoon, as if he had already figured out my answer, sighed, bent down to grab the bag he left on the sofa, and, upon looking back up, held sunscreen in his hand. It wasn’t something I brought; it appeared he had brought it separately. Watching him open the cap, I hesitated before speaking.

“We’re not going to stay in the sun that long, so why is it necessary…?”

“Uh, it’s a must. The sun is too strong today.”

“…It feels sticky.”

“I can either make you feel sticky now, or you can regret not putting it on later.”

When I hesitated, Jihoon squeezed out a generous amount of sunscreen unreservedly. Seeing the amount was enough to cover more than just a finger made me involuntarily step back. The stern look on his face indicated he might smear it all over my face right away. I backed up, extending my hand.

“Ah… okay. Just give it to me. I’ll put it on myself.”

“Why bother? I’ll do it for you.”

“Who decided that? Don’t overdo it; just hand it over quickly.”

“Hey now.”

“……”

“It’s the privilege of a boyfriend.”

Every time I witnessed how smoothly he delivered such embarrassingly cheesy lines without a change in his complexion, I marveled. It was difficult to beat Jihoon after he figured out how to capitalize on my hesitation in this living arrangement. Just by blankly staring at him, I found his fingers had grabbed both my cheeks already. The sunscreen that had been on his fingers was no longer there. I felt his hand slathering cream on my cheeks. I attempted to escape in vain, but got caught firmly by his grip on my neck. This only made our faces draw nearer. Initially, Jihoon had been grinning playfully, but now he was applying sunscreen with a focused expression. His thumb traced softly over my cheek.

“The fair-skinned guy is being reckless… Did you intend to stay awake all night from the burning?”

As Jihoon remarked, he pulled me closer, seemingly to scrutinize me further. His lips parted slightly as he concentrated on absorbing the sunscreen into my skin. At that moment, I involuntarily swallowed, noticing his distinctive pink tongue peeking between his lips. The hand that had started by spreading sunscreen on my cheeks made its way to my forehead, over my eyes, then down my nose. His pressure was deliberate and gentle. Before long, his hand gripped my chin. Next was my neck. Suddenly, the movement halted. My heart sank, fearing I might have been caught sneaking glances at him. Perhaps he sensed I had been moving my throat nervously as I watched him. I held my breath as I looked up, our eyes met.

“……”

“……”

I could see Jihoon’s eyelashes slowly flickering right in front of me. Underneath them, it was clear his focus was no longer on putting sunscreen on my skin. It felt like an illusion that his lips were gradually lowering toward mine. The angle and gaze felt so familiar. I wanted to push away but couldn’t move.

“Guys!”

The sudden call snapped me to attention. I shoved Jihoon’s shoulder hard. Just then, Kang Youngsoo barged in through the front door, arms loaded with what looked like barbecue supplies. Our eyes met immediately; he looked surprised.

“Wook! Why are you up already? Sleep some more.”

“…I’ve rested enough. Where have you been?”

“Oh, I went out to buy charcoal since we didn’t have any…”

“Charcoal?”

“Yup. But ultimately, I didn’t need charcoal. The people from the nearby pension gave me some when I saw them out buying.”

“How did they know we needed charcoal?”

“Well, I was dragging Jihoon along to buy some, and when I saw them playing foot volleyball, I stopped to watch for a moment. The ball bounced our way, so I picked it up for them, and they invited us to join since they had some extra players.”

Now that I thought about it, Kang Youngsoo’s forehead was slick with sweat. Just as I was about to ask if Jihoon was with him, the door opened again. Jihoon walked in.

“You’re already awake?”

The moment he spotted me, he echoed Youngsoo’s question and tossed aside what he had been holding. Jihoon’s mere presence felt like a wave of heat washed over me.

“…Yeah.”

While responding, I couldn’t help but frown. Realizing it might have been taken differently, Jihoon hesitated to ruffle my hair but stopped in an apologetic manner, smiling.

“Sorry, I smell like sweat. I’ll wash up.”

Before long, I heard the bathroom door shut. As I absorbed Jihoon’s fading presence, I summoned Youngsoo’s attention. The moment our eyes met while he was picking up his phone from the table, the awkward question tumbled out.

“…Why is he shirtless?”

Kang Youngsoo shrugged.

“Probably hot from playing? A lot of others were shirtless too.”

“……”

“They all seem to be athletic students; they weren’t kidding. Jihoon initially pretended to go along with it, but then he got really into it.”

“…So?”

“Did we win?”

“Yeah.”

“It’s Jihoon, though.”

That meant we won.

“I played fantastically against kids averaging twenty-three. By the end, I was emotionally moved just watching. The funniest part was, because the match got intense, more people came over from the other pension to watch. One of the women standing on the sidelines came up to Jihoon and asked… Oh, why have you been getting so many missed calls from Dain?”

Kang Youngsoo laughed as if he were sharing an amusing story, but as he checked his phone, his face suddenly turned pale. I watched him step out to the balcony as he held the phone to his ear. I remained attentive as the sound of running water continued from the bathroom where Jihoon was washing up.

“What’s up? Yeah, oh, that’s true! Well, it’s not something that happens in one or two days. Ah, no, I’m fine… oh, no. Just that… ah, I know. But could we talk about that when it’s just the two of us? Yes, I’m shy about it… no, I’m not embarrassed, it’s just… what if someone hears…”