FBF chapter 23 part 2
by Volare“I know. That’s why I’m saying it. Don’t misunderstand.”
“……”
“Just a little….”
Lee Jihoon trailed off, but the unspoken words he omitted felt painfully obvious. I continued, interjecting.
“Do you still feel like I’m a patient?”
“……”
“Do you think I’ll break if we have sex? Like my head might explode too?”
Lee Jihoon tried to respond but ended up staring at me. The fact that he didn’t outright say no felt like a positive signal, which hurt my feelings. I knew that what Lee Jihoon was doing was for my sake. Even though he was being overbearing, his true intention was to protect me, and the reason was that he cared about me.
“I understand too. I know why you’re doing this… but…”
I choked on my words, overwhelmed by emotions I hadn’t expected to surface. It was as if the feelings I had kept locked away had suddenly broken free from their confines, and I turned my gaze away, wiping my face in an effort to suppress what threatened to spill out.
There are things I had been doing unconsciously. For example, waking up and going to work. Driving to places I wanted to go by myself. Going out to meet or see someone off. Perhaps because I had never faced any restrictions throughout my life, it felt difficult to refrain from actions I had done without conscious thought, and the constant awareness of this fact was exhausting. The realization that I couldn’t freely go to see someone or meet them often made me feel powerless, and sometimes I found myself wondering how long it would be like this.
At the very least, I wanted to seem normal next to Lee Jihoon. I didn’t want to burden the busy guy anymore; I wished he wouldn’t overexert himself because of me. I knew it was something that would take time, but I hoped that time would pass more quickly.
No matter how much I practiced, being honest with Lee Jihoon remained difficult. Swallowing back the words I couldn’t quite say, I shook my head heavily.
“…Forget it. I didn’t mean to cry like this, I’m sorry.”
Once the storm of emotions passed, only regret remained. I felt embarrassed, like a child complaining despite fully knowing everything about the long flight Lee Jihoon had just come back from. Finally collecting my composure, I also suppressed the rough emotions I had just experienced.
“You must be hungry; let’s eat. I asked the lady to make your favorite side dishes.”
The lady who helps with household chores comes twice a week. This was something Lee Jihoon had suggested in hopes it would be good for me, and I had swallowed back my insistence that it wasn’t necessary. As I was about to reassure Lee Jihoon with some comforting information, I stopped midway as my phone suddenly appeared in front of me.
Checking the calendar displayed on the screen, I looked back at Lee Jihoon. Apart from determining that it was next month’s calendar, I couldn’t figure out anything else. What’s this? Just as I was about to ask, Lee Jihoon spoke first.
“I’m counting down the days.”
“Counting down to what…?”
“I’m counting down to the day when it’s okay to have sex with you.”
“……”
“I thought about asking a doctor, but I felt like you wouldn’t leave me alone if you found out later. I researched all the overseas papers and cases. It varies from person to person, but it seems safe from around three months after.”
“…….”
“So I decided to just wait until then.”
I could only stare at him in shock. It was a reason I never could have imagined.
Who made that decision? For such a trivial reason?
Yet Lee Jihoon didn’t stop there. It seemed he had more to say.
“And…”
He deliberated for a moment, his expression shifting from hesitation to confession as he scratched close to his temple.
“To be honest, I’m more concerned about myself than I am about you.”
“…What do you mean?”
“Just hearing your voice these days makes me hard. Yesterday, right after we hung up, I was… ah…”
“……”
“Honestly, if we had sex, it would be even worse, right? In that case, it’s better not to start at all.”
A dumb groan escaped through my lips. I understood why Lee Jihoon would say such a thing. If I hadn’t heard it from him, I never would have thought of it on my own. He was more worried about being unable to control himself than about my well-being. Well, if you think about it, that’s still a concern for me too, right? Or is it not?
While my mind was in turmoil, Lee Jihoon looked calm. Perhaps it was because he had finally let out what he had been hiding over the past two months, but he seemed even lighter. He leaned back against the headboard of the bed and stared earnestly at me. Then he suddenly reached out his hand. His well-shaped finger gently brushed my lips. I thought he would tease me as he had done earlier in front of the elevator, but unlike before, his fingers lingered on my lower lip without leaving. Soon, he started playfully tugging at my slightly swollen lips as if using them like a rubber band, gliding his fingers all the way to the corners of my mouth, pressing firmly. It felt like he was doing it with a certainty that they wouldn’t break. Without taking his eyes off my lips, Lee Jihoon muttered to himself, his expression turning contemplative.
“Someone who hasn’t even jerked off…”
Just as my lips snapped away from his fingers, our eyes locked in midair. Lee Jihoon leaned closer, his hand sneaking between my arm and side. Just as my body turned involuntarily, I realized that our positions had switched when I felt something firm against the back of my head. I was now in a posture that was neither lying down on the bed’s headboard as he had been nor sitting up straight. Lee Jihoon, seemingly lost in confusion over the sudden shift, lifted my leg from where I was. I realized he had grabbed my waist, pulling me down to rest between his legs as he knelt.
“Seon-uk.”
While calling my name, he quickly began to untuck his shirt. In the brief moment I blinked, his bare chest was suddenly in front of me. My heart sank when I saw the playful glint in his eyes. Before I even noticed, his hand had slipped inside my white t-shirt. The hem of the shirt was gradually pushed upwards by his hand.
“Right. I might have thought too narrowly about sex, huh?”
What kind of nonsense was that? I couldn’t even begin to form a question before his lips pressed against mine.
“Mmph—”
It was a kiss that closely resembled blocking my lips, much like I had done earlier. His tongue slipped through my parted lips and brushed against the roof of my mouth. Knowing that Lee Jihoon had been holding himself back from doing this made his actions feel somewhat urgent. His hands also roamed impatiently over my body, touching and exploring everywhere. His hand quickly moved from my abs to my nipple. The way he playfully squeezed it between his thumb and forefinger sent a shiver through me as my nipple firmed up in response. Instead of letting go, Lee Jihoon manipulated my nipple between his fingers as if it were a pair of tongs. Playfully rolling it between his fingers, he occasionally tugged at it as if pulling a cork from a bottle. The sharp sensation made my back arch instinctively. Letting out a small moan that I tried to suppress, I looked up at Lee Jihoon. I couldn’t figure out what the hell he was trying to do, given that he had so adamantly refused earlier.
“What are you… ah, right now…”
“Is sex only defined by going in and out? It’s all about interpretation.”
“…What?”
“Come on, raise your hands.”
Before I could even process my thoughts, Lee Jihoon lifted my arms for me, raising them up. The moment I noticed the odd sensation of my clothing being tugged up from below, I felt the cool air brushing against me; I was suddenly half-naked. It dawned on me that I wasn’t in a comfortable position anymore. Feeling the caressing touch against my bare skin made me realize what was happening. Just as the shame was settling in, I managed to reach out and push Lee Jihoon’s shoulder.
“Hey, hey, wait a minute.”
Only then did Lee Jihoon stop. Still keeping my hands on his chest to prevent him from coming any closer, I quickly opened my mouth.
“You said we wouldn’t have sex until three months?”
“Yeah.”
“Then, why are you undressing me?”
“I wanted to try a mini sex session.”
“A mini… what?”
I was so shocked I could barely process my thoughts and had to swallow them back down. In one swift motion, Lee Jihoon pulled down both my tracksuit pants and my boxers, exposing me. The surprise from the earlier kiss had kept me a little hard, but it wasn’t enough to say I was completely ready. Noticing this, he mercilessly rubbed the head with his thumb.
“Ahh, hey… wait.”
Desperately pushing Lee Jihoon’s shoulder away, I stifled a moan. Perhaps due to the surgery and the low activity I had been through lately, my body had become overly sensitive. Every touch felt much stronger than usual. I could barely even force myself to bite down on my lower lip in an effort to resist. Unlike normal foreplay, I felt completely excited and on the verge of collapsing without any buildup.
“Lee Jihoon, please….”
Trying to pull him back didn’t seem to work at all. Lee Jihoon remained focused on stroking me, as if waiting for something to happen. It was clear he was anticipating my release.
“Ah, ah….”
Inside his hand, I felt my shaft throbbing and moving restlessly. He was right. I hadn’t even jerked off since my last sexual encounter with him. I hadn’t indulged in myself in months, and the way he was continuously applying pressure in that spot was making me feel overwhelmed with pleasure. Each time I tried to push my hands towards his shoulder, they slid down to his chest instead. The deeper our bodies pressed together, the more I felt his body rubbing against my member, creating an intensely erotic sensation. I tried to bite down even harder to stifle any sounds, but it became increasingly difficult.
“Stop… please! …Ah….”
My attempts to pull Lee Jihoon’s hand away from my shaft were thwarted time and again. What I originally wanted was sex, not this sort of handjob in place of it. The experience was so intense that it felt like I was bombarded with sensations, and my head was spinning. I gasped for breath, trying to regain my thoughts.
“…Your hand, your hand.”
“What about my hand? Do you like it? Want me to do it harder?”
“No, stop… please just take it away….”
I tried to push against him, my hand squeezing his arm tightly, but the more I did, the more assertively he manipulated me. Resisting was becoming nearly impossible. Every time I couldn’t hold back and turned my head away, the rhythm of his strokes quickened. A sudden surge of pleasure enveloped me, and with it, I reached the edge of orgasm as his hand worked its magic.
“Ha, ha….”
Just after releasing, I felt completely drained. When I finally glanced down, my body tensed.
“…What are you doing?”
Lee Jihoon was curiously staring at the fluid dripping from his fingers, a silly grin plastered on his face. While at first, that was appropriate, what was most startling was his expression. He had a serious look on his face, as if observing a specimen, carefully dotting my abdomen with the remnants of my release. Then, he moved his semen-soaked fingers closer to his face, rubbing them together like a scientist analyzing results. In a way, his actions resembled someone conducting an experiment in a lab.
He soon dropped his hand, clearly satisfied, clicking his tongue in contemplation as if he had seen enough.
“See? I knew you hadn’t jerked off even once.”
I stared blankly at the absurdity of the situation, only to regain my senses and reach for the tissues on the bedside table to clean his hand.
“Gross, what the hell… wipe your hand, hurry.”
“No way.”
“What do you mean no way….”
I was about to shout, but Lee Jihoon, having crouched down, suddenly took my member into his mouth. I gasped, biting down on my lower lip, but some involuntary moan escaped through the gap in my lips.
“Hah…”
Without intending to, I found myself gripping his hair.
This crazy guy learned how to give head just once….
Because he went straight to my still-sensitive member, Lee Jihoon ended up swallowing down everything, even the remnants near the tip of my shaft.
“Phew… ha….”
Lee Jihoon consumed it all without hesitation. Feeling unsatisfied, he exaggeratedly licked around the base as if he wanted to savor it completely. It made me feel even more pent up. His thighs began to tremble while he maintained his rhythm, and somehow I was able to manage pulling his head away just before I was about to release again.
With just a thin margin, my release shot across the sheets.
“Ah, why. I wanted to compare.”
Lee Jihoon pouted, feigning disappointment. This crazy guy. Clenching my teeth tight, I felt tightness in my abdomen, propelling me to sit up fully. I grabbed Lee Jihoon by the collar and pushed him back. The bed swayed and shook.
Though I would have preferred him to lean back against the headboard like I had, this was the best situation for now.
I didn’t understand what this “mini sex” concept was all about. I definitely was not a fan of being dragged like this.
“Oh, your vigor.”
Even though he spouted nonsense while I crushed him, thankfully Lee Jihoon promptly leaned in and kissed me. The minty flavor overpowered the lingering taste from earlier, thank God. It had a sour tang, though. Perhaps he noticed the grimace on my face; Lee Jihoon chuckled. Ignoring him, I continued to strip him of his pants. While I slipped my hand into his boxers, Lee Jihoon reached out, touching my face. His fingers grazed across my forehead, lightly tapping near my temples, and quickly ventured up to the surgical area beside my ears. His touch was gentle and tender, like he was handling something precious. I couldn’t help but stare at him as he avoided my gaze, his lashes softly brushing against my skin as he lifted his eyes.
When our gazes met, he grinned like a child with joy.
“It didn’t break. Thank goodness.”
I was at a loss for how to react. I never thought that knowing he was worried about me would evoke such excitement in me. My heart raced while warmth crept into my face. My hands, which had been poised to caress Lee Jihoon’s ass, slightly trembled. I found myself lost in thought, staring at Lee Jihoon’s slightly swollen lips; I figured we wouldn’t have stopped kissing since I returned home.
“……”
“……”
Slowly, the smile faded from Lee Jihoon’s face as he looked at me. Almost simultaneously, his hand seized my chin. Gripping my jaw firmly to hold me still, he suddenly lunged at me, seeming ready to push me down right away. His lips met mine again, and while he explored my body, his hands moved downward impulsively. It was a frantic motion that felt more about kneading than merely touching. I felt his erection growing against my thigh.
“Hah….”
Just as my chin began to tingle with the pressure, he paused the kiss, breathing heavily as he spoke quickly.
“Ha… wait. If I keep this up, I won’t be able to handle it properly.”
Lee Jihoon was staring down now. Following his gaze, I noticed his member stood rigidly. I thought it might be an exaggeration that he could get hard just from hearing my voice, but the depth of our previous kiss had shocked me with how much he had grown. It felt like I needed to put on a condom immediately.
“This is really torture, damn….”
After catching his breath, Lee Jihoon finally raised his head. We had both frozen in our awkward positions. Glancing at me before grabbing my arm, he led me closer until I found myself sitting on his knees, face to face with him. After adjusting our positions, Lee Jihoon slid my shaft back into my boxers, then pulled down the pants that had bunched around my thighs. With that, we were both left wearing only our boxers.
For a moment, we stared at one another wordlessly. Lee Jihoon spoke first, his expression grave.
“Hey. Let’s finish this quickly.”
“…Quickly?”
“Yeah. I’m scared that I might get in trouble if I take too long, so let’s just have a quickie and wrap things up.”
To look casually undetected while having sex on the bed was something else entirely. Was he suggesting that was all we would do? Lee Jihoon closed the distance between us, nearly pressing our knees together before stopping.
“Get on top.”
“…What?”
Rather than clarify further, Lee Jihoon tapped his knees.
“Get on to allow me to see your face clearly.”
“……”
“It looks like if I can see your face while feeling, we can finish quickly.”
Even though his words made my face flush, it also seemed like a difficult request to comply with. Where was I supposed to get on? You mean, on your knees?
Rather than waiting for me to react, Lee Jihoon moved. A thought crossed my mind that I had to evade him. My thighs instinctively jumped back a bit. Lee Jihoon, however, push his hand under my thigh, gripping it firmly, lifting me onto his lap.
In an instant, my perspective changed.
“Hey!”
The moment I registered the situation, a scream rather than a shout escaped my lips. My back met the top of the headboard instead of my head, the uncomfortable feeling striking me like a jolt. I had been placed in a position seated awkwardly on Lee Jihoon’s thighs, his legs buckling beneath me. It seemed impossible for him to support my weight so awkwardly like this. Realizing the predicament, I immediately tensed my body. I had to change this mortifying situation ASAP.
“Damn… get down. I said lower me.”
If I couldn’t get down, I might as well push myself off his knees. Just then, I felt the sudden pressure in my mouth.
“Ugh…!”
With my mouth suddenly blocked, I found myself stumbling backward. As my head hit the headboard, Lee Jihoon’s hand grasped the back of my head gently, as if to protect it. I felt his large hand covering my surgical area, tracing a round motion over it for caution. But contrary to that gentle touch, his tongue pushed deep inside, plunging into my mouth. My breathing quickened, and I turned my head in an effort to find any ounce of air.
“…Ha.”
Every time the tip of our noses bumped together and I struggled to breathe, the air escaped in a heavy sigh. Even in that flustered condition, his thighs remained solid beneath me. My hands that had tried to push him away were firmly caught between our grips, fingers intertwined. I recognized that further resistance was futile and let go of my strength.
As I relaxed, the kiss gradually softened. Lee Jihoon’s tongue expertly explored familiar places inside my mouth. The way he controlled the pressure made it feel as if he was tempting me somewhere. I became enraptured, swallowing his breath and saliva with an intoxicating relish. The tension I had been holding in to avoid getting off him melted away.
I began to understand the concept of this “mini sex.” Instead of using his shaft to penetrate me, Lee Jihoon was set on bringing me to a climax some other way. Within the realm of what my body could allow.
“Ha… ha….”
Just as it felt like our lips would remain together for eternity, when they finally pulled apart, a delicate strand of saliva connected us.
Lee Jihoon’s tongue still lingered in my mouth. Instinctively, I recognized the prickly sensation, realizing it was not the same as my earlier thoughts. The tongue that had been exploring my mouth just now was now traveling down my skin, licking every inch of me. Lee Jihoon used the broad surface of his tongue to cover me generously, occasionally curling the tip and poking me with it. With each labored breath he took, I felt excitement coursing through me.
“Phew….”
Each tiny movement he made, thrilling my body, intensified the sensations against his thighs. As Lee Jihoon breathed heavily and licked my earlobe, I sensed the eagerness in his body, ready to enter me at any moment.
“…Ha, ah….”
Feeling overwhelmed, I could do nothing but ruffle Lee Jihoon’s hair. I grasped the meaning of his earlier statements as examples of evidence to support my idea that he could be pleased just by watching me grasp at pleasure. Every jerky movement of his waist sent jolts of pleasure through me. Exhausted, our breaths became quickened and unsteady.
“…Did you take a shower before you came over?”
Out of nowhere, Lee Jihoon asked. He had been busy devouring me at my collarbone, and suddenly he raised his head, locking onto my gaze. The moment I met his dark eyes, I felt a pang in my stomach. I began to understand what he had meant when he said he could get off just by looking at my inflamed reaction. Lee Jihoon’s eyes ignited with vibrant colors like an excited flame.
“You took a shower because you wanted to have sex with me, didn’t you?”
In that brief moment, he couldn’t help it; he buried his head back to my collarbone again. He sucked so hard it felt like he might draw blood, almost painfully so. I imagined there would be traces of his lips around that area. Lee Jihoon was fiercely determined, his tenacity making him seemingly unrelenting. I half feared he might lick up any drops of blood that appeared.