FBF chapter 15 part 3

In the moment when Lee Jihoon mirrored me, and I mirrored Lee Jihoon, I was drawn to the mirror as if by an invisible force. Like someone realizing for the first time that the figure in the mirror, with its trembling eyes and distorted face, resembled themselves.

Our breaths grew close, and I met the red-tinged eyes just inches away. I walked towards the person to whom I wanted to share my breath closest. Lee Jihoon took a step as well. We stopped at the same spot and kissed in a way we had never done before. Between our pressed lips, between the exploding breaths, the stories we hadn’t dared to utter scattered.

Only when we had no more breaths to share did we pull away, panting. Lee Jihoon’s hands, firmly gripping my waist, were trembling. So were his eyes. Lee Jihoon’s Adam’s apple bobbed. As if bewitched, unable to take his eyes off me, he moved his lips.

“I think I need to sleep with you.”

Looking at his reddened eyes, I remembered what I had said about stopping him one day.

‘But once we have sex, our relationship ends.’

‘I don’t know about you, but I don’t sleep with people I’m friends with.’

I now know that Lee Jihoon couldn’t have forgotten that moment that I can’t forget. That’s why this is closer to a declaration.

Instead of answering, I cupped Lee Jihoon’s cheek. Responding to him, though my hand trembled like someone holding something they had never craved, I made a light sound and our lips met and parted. At the same time, I answered him.

“I know. I want to sleep with you too.”

Tonight, our relationship ends. Because that’s the only way it can start again.

First, I pulled away from Lee Jihoon. Even considering that we were in a secluded spot, it wasn’t a place where we could continue anything beyond a kiss. The moment I thought someone might pass by, or they might recognize Lee Jihoon’s face, I looked around urgently. As if he couldn’t bear even that short separation, Lee Jihoon tried to pull me close again. Pushing against his chest, I said, making an effort to stay calm.

“Let’s move first. To a hotel or something.”

Only then did he seem to understand the meaning of my words, as he briefly looked around and then fixed his gaze back on me. As if he had made his decision, Lee Jihoon pulled me back by the waist.

“No. Let’s go home.”

The moment I realized that the place Lee Jihoon called ‘home’ was my house, I felt an odd prickling sensation at the back of my neck. The space that we had previously referred to as either your house or my house might become blurred after today. A space that could just be called ‘home’ without qualifiers.

I wondered if Lee Jihoon, staring intently down at me, was thinking the same thing. Maybe he didn’t mean it that way, but the fact that I was getting ahead of myself made me feel a bit foolish. Absorbed in my thoughts, I realized a beat late that his cold fingertips had touched my ear. With his thumb and index finger, he gently rubbed my earlobe and whispered into my ear, leaning his head close.

“I want to wake up somewhere that smells like you.”

His voice was tender and wet. From a distance, it looked like he had buried his head into my shoulder. The scent of perfume he had put on after a good wash, mixed with the raw, earthy scent that proved the time he had spent in the air, emanated from the man who had just finished a long flight. Just inhaling it, I could feel how aroused he was. A signal that was shared by animals rubbing their heated bodies without having to think.

Lee Jihoon, his hand still on my earlobe, pulled me closer with his other hand, firmly around my waist. Like a gentle pull, or a plea. I let my body give into his grasp, only tilting my head slightly. Just doing that, I met his feverish eyes that seemed to be devouring me. As if knowing that I wouldn’t refuse, Lee Jihoon gently pressed his cheek against mine this time. He didn’t seem to care if anyone passed by anymore. His lips brushed dangerously against my ear.

“Let’s take a cab. I think I’ll cause an accident if I drive in this state.”

As if proving his dwindling sanity, even his voice that slipped into my ear was hot and moist. It felt like his breath, slowly exhaled near my cheek and ear, was being absorbed by my skin. I nodded at him, as he slowly exhaled, as if savoring the scent he had been inhaling. I couldn’t drive either. Just the fact that Lee Jihoon was so excited because of me sent heat rushing below.

I expected Lee Jihoon to sit in the front seat, but instead, he opened the back door and pushed me inside first, then sat next to me, rattling off my home address to the taxi driver through the open passenger window. The car squeezed out from the line of taxis at the station, and smoothly sped onto the dawn road. Without slowing down, the cars flying over the Yeongjong Bridge shone an unusually red glow. I stopped looking at the passing scenery when my fingers were suddenly caught.

“…….”

Unlike me, who immediately turned my head, Lee Jihoon was looking ahead. The middle seat of the back row, which could easily fit three adult men, was, of course, empty. Our hands intertwined on the smooth leather surface. As if correcting my awkward stiffness, Lee Jihoon laced his fingers with mine, pushing his finger joints deep into the spaces between mine, giving them an almost painful amount of pressure. Lee Jihoon’s hands fit snugly into the gaps between my fingers. His long, straight fingers, positioned in the indentations between my fingers, tilted up and down as if testing their location. I couldn’t take my eyes off his middle finger which seemed to be moving particularly slowly, and swallowed hard. Though different in size and thickness, the way it was squirming and wiggling reminded me of an erect dick.

“Will it take about an hour?”

Considering how impatiently he was rubbing his fingers, his voice was quite calm. The taxi driver, who had glanced at Lee Jihoon in the rearview mirror, didn’t seem to notice anything unusual about the handsome man asking the question, and turned his gaze back to the road.

“Yes, yes… I guess it’ll take about that long. There are not many cars on the road, so we might arrive ten minutes earlier.”

“You’re a good driver, right? Looking at your license issue date, you seem like a veteran.”

I glanced at the passenger seat that Lee Jihoon’s gaze had just briefly touched. On the passenger seat, there was a ‘Taxi Driver Qualification Certificate’ attached. A detail that most people would have casually ignored had become something worth examining meticulously for Lee Jihoon, who had a goal. Unlike the taxi driver who wore an equally flustered expression, Lee Jihoon smiled and said,

“Every ten minutes you cut off the time, I’ll pay you double.”

His provocative words made my fingertips tremble. As if he felt that I was trying to pull away, Lee Jihoon held on even more tightly than before as if he couldn’t allow it. As he rubbed his damp fingers, soaked with sweat, Lee Jihoon added brightly,

“Oh, as long as you don’t break any traffic laws, that is. I think I’ll get scolded if you do.”

The taxi driver, chuckling and asking if we were in a rush, adjusted the seat as if pulling it forward. The end of the Yeongjong Bridge was visible in the distance. Only after confirming that the taxi driver was staring ahead, as if anticipating the signals after the long bridge, did Lee Jihoon pull away. The wind rushing in through the open window tousled Lee Jihoon’s hair. It was a scene I felt like I had seen before. When Kang Youngsoo was between us and our little fingers were briefly connected.

Unlike back then, Lee Jihoon didn’t let go of my hand. Instead, he met my eyes and moved his lips as if to say,

Don’t let go.

We arrived twenty minutes earlier than the estimated arrival time on the navigation screen that the taxi driver had put up. After handing the taxi driver four crisp fifty-thousand won bills, Lee Jihoon finally let go of my hand, which he had been holding so tightly it was soaked with sweat. As we got out of the taxi, he walked ahead, keeping a distance just far enough that we wouldn’t brush against each other. He did the same as we took the elevator and walked down the hallway. His footsteps, hurried more than usual, echoed in my ears. It was only when we stopped, tripping over our own feet, and exchanged a glance that we both realized that we were both testing the limits of our patience.

Lee Jihoon only turned around at the door. It was the moment that all the lights that had been turning on behind us in the hallway went out. Pulling me by the nape of my neck, he brought his lips to mine with force. Even in that moment, he made sure that our teeth didn’t clash, angling his head to push his tongue deep inside. My inner mouth tightened in response, as if startled. He pushed me back. My moan, which had exploded the moment my back hit the hard door, was swallowed by my lips.

The sound of the door lock being pressed was heard. After entering the last digit, Lee Jihoon paused briefly, then pulled me roughly through the doorway that had just been unlocked with a ‘beep beep’ sound.

“…Kuh!”

Without even thinking of taking off our shoes, we stepped over the neatly placed shoes as he sucked on my lips hurriedly. Pulling my waist tight against his, Lee Jihoon slipped his hand inside my jacket. His hands, groping hurriedly at my sweater, were hasty, yet the way he lingered along my waistline showed that he knew how to get familiar with someone’s skin. His hands moved gently, persistently as if unraveling the threads of the sweater, then finally slipped inside without any resistance.

“Ugh…”

I swallowed a moan inside my mouth. His hands, which had felt warm enough to feel just in the taxi, had turned icy cold in the short five-minute walk. Even though it was only for a brief moment that the skin his hand touched twitched, Lee Jihoon, who had somehow sensed that, pulled his lips back and apologized.

“Sorry. I’ll warm them up quickly?”

Lee Jihoon rubbed his hands together, and then rubbed them on his thigh as if trying to create heat. I was about to say that there was no need to do that when his lips consumed mine once more. It was a kiss that made it feel as if his tongue was curling all the way to the back of my throat. He knew how to immobilize the other person while kissing without even using his hands. I felt like the taste buds on my tongue were being crushed. Even though I was leaning against the hard shoe rack, I kept being pushed back, and it started rattling loudly as if it was warning us, unable to handle the weight of two adult men.

Only after a loud crash, as if something might fall off the shoe rack, did we hurry to take off our shoes. Lee Jihoon, after kicking his shoes off into the air as if they were in the way, pulled me closer. Our lower bodies still pressed together. The texture of his well-pressed suit pants, so crisp that it seemed to have its own life, was vivid.

“Ugh…”

“…Ha.”

It was a kiss where moans that would have been appropriate only if we had bumped into something kept leaking out whenever our lips parted briefly. Even though it was hard to catch my breath, I opened my mouth a little wider to let his tongue in deeper so his tongue that had entered me could find its way in. While doing so, I hugged his back and neck tightly. I reached inside his coat and ran my palms over his broad shoulders. It was as if Lee Jihoon was getting more excited every time I did that. The tensed muscles quivered as if reacting to my touch. He willingly surrendered his head to me and, the next moment, let out a low moan as he wildly explored my mouth.

The moment I felt that our lips were smeared with the saliva we had shared, I realized that Lee Jihoon’s lukewarm hands were gently caressing my skin without any resistance. His large hands, gently kneading my waist, were slowly moving up my stomach as if tracing a path. I had just finished taking off Lee Jihoon’s coat at that moment. Lee Jihoon, who had lifted one of his arms to help me take it off easily, pushed me lightly in the small gap that had opened. The moment my thighs hit the edge of the bed, Lee Jihoon nudged me once again with his knee. As I was trying to lift my upper body using the momentum, he leaned over me and licked my lips for a long time.

“Ha… haaa…”

Saliva stretched out like a thread between our lips after that long and tenacious kiss. After staring down at it for a moment, Lee Jihoon briefly touched our lips together. Soft and sticky sounds followed in succession. My lips, which had been tightening whenever Lee Jihoon approached me as if it was a sign of tension, were making sounds that I would never have thought I could make. After hearing it five times in a row, I pulled my head back, unable to take it anymore, and Lee Jihoon, grabbing me so I wouldn’t, brought his lips to mine again with a quick motion. He made a sucking sound, as he mumbled between kisses.

“Because you’re cute. Because the way you’re swollen is cute.”

It seemed like he was giving an explanation, but his expression, which lacked any hint of a smile, made me twice as embarrassed. I felt like I’ve never heard the word cute before. I couldn’t look the man who said those words in the eyes. My head, which had tilted diagonally, turned back towards him. Lee Jihoon, who held my cheeks gently and made me look at him, smiled.

“They aren’t cold anymore now. Right?”

His hands, touching my cheeks as if asking for my judgment, were warm. At the same time as I slowly nodded at him, who was looking at me as if wanting a reply, his lips approached mine. It was an intimate kiss, one where I could trace the shape of our lips. While he showered me with kisses, Lee Jihoon was gently raising the sweater I was wearing, with his hand having a similar warmth to my body. In the brief moment our lips were separated, my sweater was off.

I was so focused on the kiss that I kept getting pushed back. It was only when my back hit something hard that my movement stopped. Lee Jihoon slowly lowered his body as he looked into my eyes, while I was panting, leaning against the bed’s headboard. The moment his lips touched my neck, my shoulders shivered. I had been letting myself be swept away by his actions, but now I finally stopped and reached out to stop Lee Jihoon.

“Ah, wait a minute….”

In the heat of the moment, I had almost forgotten that I hadn’t showered yet. I was able to accept even Lee Jihoon’s body odor without any aversion, but I wasn’t sure how Lee Jihoon would feel. I didn’t want him to smell the sweat that must have soaked into my body as I ran around today when he had his first experience with another man.

I quickly opened my mouth, seeing Lee Jihoon who was looking at me with a confused expression after being pushed back obediently.

“Let’s shower. Let’s do it after showering.”

“…….”

“I came straight from work, so I haven’t had a chance to….”

Before I could finish my sentence, my mouth was shut. I had to clench my eyes shut to hold back a groan of pain. Lee Jihoon, who had lowered his head, was kissing along my jawline. The kisses, so light that I couldn’t even feel their weight, tickled me. But then he would stop at certain spots and press his lips deeply against my skin, making my breath catch in my throat. Lee Jihoon, whose head was buried between my neck and collarbone, was licking me there. Because his nose was pressed so close to my skin, his nose and cheeks looked squashed. Lee Jihoon was enjoying it. His sharp nose, half-buried in my skin, twitched and moved. He took in a slow and deep breath as if savoring something, then lifted his head. He had a satisfied expression.

“I like it, though. It makes me feel like, ‘So this is how an aroused Ji Seon-uk smells.'”

The moment I saw that he was thinking the same thing that I had thought in the parking lot, my mouth went dry. It might be because of Lee Jihoon’s expression. His tongue was licking my skin with no sign of any aversion. He licked gently as if tasting something sweet and then suddenly bit down so hard on the same spot that a cracking sound was heard. Ah… a faint moan slipped out. Lee Jihoon glanced up, then grabbed my back, pushing me down. With my hands pressed down on the bed, Lee Jihoon looked down at me from right above.

“I think that you think that I’m fine because I’ve been holding myself back so well in front of you.”

In his black eyes, an amorousness that I had never properly encountered was flickering. I felt like I couldn’t avoid it for some reason. With his gaze still locked on mine, Lee Jihoon grabbed my wrist and brought it down to his lower body. The moment my fingertips brushed against his belt, I bit my lip. It wasn’t easy to control my expression because of the way he was observing my every reaction. The front of Lee Jihoon’s suit pants was bulging noticeably. I thought it might not be, but he did bring my hand up to the top of it, and pressed down on it as if making sure I felt it. His dick, which had been stored on his left thigh, was now throbbing with heat, as if it was about to pop out.

“You’re a man, so you know. When a dick gets this hard, what it needs is sex. Not a shower.”

I looked at him. He looked at me with an unconcerned expression, even though he had given his dick to someone else to hold. Then I finally applied some pressure to the tips of my fingers. I slowly moved my hand along his well-formed shaft. I hadn’t done anything other than hug his back and touch his muscles since we had entered the house, yet it was surprising that he had gotten this hard. I took a quick breath without breaking eye contact.

“Should I suck it?”

“…What?”

Ignoring his surprised expression, I raised my upper body. Even with a bewildered look, Lee Jihoon didn’t stop me from reaching down. I grabbed the end of his belt and pulled it out. The black leather belt slid out like a snake. I threw the belt under the bed and grabbed his zipper and pulled it down.

The end of the dark-colored boxer briefs was slightly lifted. It was probably because of Lee Jihoon’s dick inside, which had grown in size. I slipped my hand inside the waistband as if sliding it in. I traced my hand along his well-developed gluteal muscles, and then pulled down the waistband a bit at the point where the outline was more prominent. As if waiting, Lee Jihoon’s dick popped out of the briefs.

The last time I had seen Lee Jihoon’s dick was in middle school, when we had thought nothing of showering together. The feeling of sizing up its size now, knowing that it would soon enter my mouth, was different.

It had seemed big when I had seen it without thinking anything, but I didn’t know that it could get even bigger than that. Can dicks keep growing? Then again, he had been a guy who kept growing more than 5cm every year during high school, so I guess it’s possible. And it even seemed like it hadn’t fully hardened since no precum had leaked out yet.

“…….”

I stared blankly for a moment but, obviously, I couldn’t just stay like that. I placed my hand on Lee Jihoon’s thigh and brought my lips down. Before I could fully close my mouth around it, I glanced up and met the eyes of Lee Jihoon, who was looking down at me with a slightly furrowed brow. He made a blank expression for a moment, then chuckled as he covered his face with his hands as if doing a dry wash.

“…Fuck, seriously.”

But he quickly erased his expression. He just stared down at me as if he had already figured out what I was about to do, waiting for my next move. Even though his face was expressionless, as if saying ‘do everything that you can’, his eyes were still filled with barely concealed heat.

“What are you doing? You said you’d suck it.”

Without breaking eye contact, Lee Jihoon put strength into his knees and stood. As if trying to help make it easier for me to suck. I accepted his help without refusing. I took my position between his legs, and slowly put Lee Jihoon’s dick in my mouth.

Because of its size, I knew that I wouldn’t be able to fit it all in from the beginning. I only bit the very tip, then took my lips off it. I brushed my lips lightly against the round tip of his glans, then kissed my way down the shaft before sucking in the tip. Lee Jihoon’s dick was like a thick ice cream bar that wouldn’t shrink no matter how much you sucked it. It was similar, except it was too big to fit it all in my mouth, and that you couldn’t bite into it. I tried to keep my gums loose and used my inner mouth to gently suck it in as if adhering to it, in order to prevent myself from biting down. As soon as I had fully taken the tip into my mouth, I caught a whiff of Lee Jihoon’s body wash. I moved my tongue as if chasing the remnants of the scent. I traced the path that the foam had made while showering, and used the tip of my tongue to poke at the spots and deeply sucked down on the shaft with the broad side of my tongue.