FBF chapter 15 part 1

I was faintly awakened by a touch that tickled my cheek. My head felt fuzzy. I remembered that I had a dream, but I couldn’t recall what it was about. The boundary between reality and fantasy felt blurred, to the point where I thought that perhaps this moment was a dream as well. Gathering my focus, I managed to push my heavy eyelids open, and saw Lee Jihoon sitting not too far from me, looking down at me. When our eyes met, he first showed a hint of surprise before breaking into a gentle smile.

“Finally awake, huh?”

After making sure I was awake, Jihoon’s finger playfully poked my cheek once more, his motion light and refreshing like a soft breeze. It made me wonder if it was the touch of Jihoon’s hand that helped me open my eyes.

Slowly, my senses began to sharpen.

“…When…”

I hurriedly sat up while asking, only to grab my neck – it felt completely stiff. I blinked repeatedly and leaned against the headboard of the bed, feeling embarrassed that I had been so deeply asleep without even sensing Jihoon sitting on the bed.

Without any fuss, Jihoon withdrew the hand that had been floating in the air due to me sitting up and responded with a chuckle.

“You were talking in your sleep like crazy.”

“Ah…”

“Why do you keep answering when your eyes aren’t even open? If I hadn’t come into the room, I wouldn’t have known you were still sleeping.”

Jihoon’s teasing was familiar. It wasn’t the first time I had talked in my sleep nor was it the first time Jihoon had mentioned waking me up. It always made me a bit embarrassed.

I had never thought of myself as someone who wouldn’t wake up without an alarm or someone who needed to be woken up by another. However, since Jihoon started coming to my place, the instances of needing him to wake me up had increased significantly. He probably treated my morning schedule as if it were his own, making sure I always had a meal before heading off to work.

I had collapsed from exhaustion last night, not even remembering how I fell asleep before Jihoon told me to wash up. Since then, my memories were sporadic. Knowing that he had come to wake me up this morning added to my sense of awkwardness. I looked toward the clock on the side table, then turned my head back to Jihoon.

“…You’re going to work?”

Now that I looked closely, Jihoon was dressed perfectly in his uniform, save for the hat. His sharply polished and tidy appearance reminded me of the nature of his work, an employee that had an exceptionally neat look. I lifted my gaze from his neatly styled hair that had no strands out of place to his well-pressed uniform. Only when our eyes met did Jihoon nod.

“Yeah. I woke you up to say goodbye before I leave.”

This was the first time since Jihoon had stayed at my place that he was going to work. It was also the first time he was making an effort to say goodbye beforehand. Realizing this, Jihoon had a brief expression that indicated he felt the situation was somewhat awkward. After staring silently at the bed sheets for a moment, he finally spoke.

“And…”

“I remember we said we wouldn’t talk until I come back, and I know this might confuse you.”

“……”

“But I think I need to say this before I go.”

Jihoon lifted his head. The gaze we shared felt steady enough to displace the brief hesitation in his eyes.

“About the kiss I gave you yesterday.”

Those words brought back last night’s memories vividly. Jihoon seemed to swear that he was equally affected. In his eyes, I could see emotions swirling that I was unfamiliar with.

“I’m worried you might think it was a careless act.”

“……”

“I wasn’t trying to prove anything, nor was I trying to belittle your feelings.”

Jihoon bit his lower lip. The serene surface of his demeanor started to show signs of disturbance, which felt tangible. After several moments of swirling emotions, Jihoon cautiously reclaimed my attention. I noticed his throat move as he swallowed. Despite the tension in his body, he remained focused on me.

“I kissed you because I wanted to. I wanted to kiss you… and I couldn’t think of anything else.”

I was left speechless. Just looking at Jihoon made my heart race with pain.

“I think I understand a bit now. Why we were lost and how we can avoid getting lost again.”

Why do such words without a declaration of love feel like a confession?

“I don’t want to be lost anymore.”

“……”

“To do that, I think we both need to be honest.”

Keeping his gaze locked onto mine, Jihoon concluded with determination.

“I’m ready.”

No sooner had he spoken those words than my phone vibrated. I recognized it as a notification from Jihoon’s phone next to him. He always set alarms for important things. I figured he had set reminders for the job he was starting after a long break today. As expected, Jihoon picked up his phone, briefly glanced at the screen, then turned toward me with a heavy sigh.

“I have to go.”

Despite that, he didn’t immediately leave. Looking back at me with lingering regret in his expression, he spoke.

“I remembered the time I arrive in four days is in the evening. It’s like I’m being punished for having a long break. After I arrive, I have a flight schedule again three days later.”

“……”

“I feel like I’m running out of time, but I know it’s not like there’s any good in that.”

Jihoon raised his hand to rub his chin and sadly sighed. He turned his head but then smiled faintly. His gaze was fixed on my face. I couldn’t pull away from Jihoon’s approaching hand as he lightly massaged the back of my neck.

“I don’t know what I’m saying when I’m leaving you behind while you’re still half-asleep. You’re not going to forget this, are you?”

With a chuckle, Jihoon let his hand drop down and lightly grasped my shoulder. My body, which wasn’t applying any strength, easily slumped down. In an instant, Jihoon pushed me back down onto the bed and covered me with the partially slid-down blanket.

“Sleep more. I’m sorry for waking you up.”

Where Jihoon’s weight had been on my thigh became light. He stood up. I barely managed to speak before his footsteps could leave the room completely.

“…Lee Jihoon.”

Just as Jihoon had said, I was still half-asleep, with my head still foggy. The words he had spoken also hadn’t fully registered in my understanding yet. But I did know that I wouldn’t see him for several days after he left. I also knew that the things Jihoon just said were sincere. I decided to say what felt like the most coherent thing I could manage right now.

“Be careful and take care.”

Just when I thought his footsteps would fade away, they came closer instead.

“I’ll be back. I’ll make sure there’s food ready, so eat when you wake up.”

Only then did I realize that I had opened my eyes a beat too late. Jihoon’s lips had pressed against my cheek and then withdrawn.

The door closed. Jihoon’s footsteps retreated outside. I hesitated but lifted my hand to place it on my cheek. I couldn’t even muster the courage to twitch my fingers, leaving my hand resting there for a long time. I was afraid the warmth might still linger if I touched it, and afraid it might vanish in an instant if I rubbed it.

* * *

– Wow, finally reached you. Why has it been so hard to contact you?

“I’ve been on a field assignment, so I just saw your message. Sorry.”

– Have you been that busy recently? It’s not like you’ve been busy for just a day or two, but I think I’ve called you five times since yesterday evening. Since there hasn’t been even one message until now, I was about to file a police report, but then I remembered you’re the police.

Knowing that I had not only called five times but also sent over twenty messages, I couldn’t cut him off. Two days ago, I had received a tip that drugs were being dealt at a club on the outskirts of the capital, and I had been working down there since then. Since my seniors were still busy wrapping up the Hongcheon case, I had to go out with just the newbies to handle the situation. Thankfully, we managed to resolve the incident by catching a specific person who was trying to sell something that could hardly be called drugs – a trickster of sorts. However, there were still reports and follow-up tasks to handle. I returned home early in the morning after sleep-deprived and wrote the case reports before finally collapsing into bed.

By the time I woke up, it was already 3 PM. I rushed to wash up, taking a short moment to glance at all the piled-up messages while getting on the elevator. The messages from my seniors urged me to rest more and to come in slowly around dinner time, remembering that today was the day our team leader was returning after a long time out. Acknowledging our team’s culture of not having fixed working hours, I hopped into my car.

I needed to report to the team leader about issues related to Choi Hyuk-jun. According to information from a junior who was monitoring things, there had been a related incident even that morning. This one had come up an hour later than the last news article, and it had been deleted twenty minutes later. The share button had also been blocked, just like before. The publication this time was from a more reputable newspaper than the last. The articles were being released gradually, like untying shackles one by one. Things that were happening in a stair-step fashion indicated that the next step was to come.

The next article would be from a famous daily newspaper, labeled [Exclusive], and it wouldn’t disappear.

– This happens so often, it’s amazing. How come every time I get a bit free, you get busy, or Jihoon gets busy? We haven’t even been able to go on a trip together like this.

Kang Youngsoo’s words, reflecting the truth behind me being busy, kept dragging on. As I confirmed my view of the Police Agency, I understood it was time to cut him off. The chaos from the recent events had forced me to collaborate with local police and detectives wearing civilian clothes, and I finally spotted a name I had been searching for amid the missed calls.

“So.”

– Huh?

“What was the initial reason for your call? I need to head into work again.”

– Oh, um, okay. I’ll get to the point. It’s not that big a deal; you know Jihoon’s house password, right? Please send that to me via text.

The unexpected request made my body stiffen. Luckily, I was able to stop at the transformed signal. I lowered my hand, which had been rubbing my forehead, and responded with confusion.

“…Why do you need Jihoon’s password?”

– My mom sent over some side dishes, and it seems like my dad mixed in some stuff to send to Jihoon with that. I heard he’s on a flight today, right? I wanted to stop by Jihoon’s house while I’m down there since it’s close to our company.

“But the construction is still ongoing, right? It wouldn’t make sense to go in…”

– I thought so too, but according to my mom, it finished last week! Apparently, it went better than expected, and my dad said that he was surprised I had heard Jihoon was still living at your place. He wondered why he was still there even though the construction was over.

That information contradicted what I knew. Just last week, while having breakfast, I had subtly asked Jihoon about the construction schedule. He had only given me a brief reply that it was still ongoing. I also remembered the fleeting moment when he raised his head and asked, “You’re going to tell me to go home again if I say it’s done, right?”

Seeing his expression told me I already knew the answer, and I had not pushed the matter any further. When I had visited Jihoon’s house a week prior in search of him when he had vanished, I had seen workers coming and going, so I hadn’t suspected anything and just let it be, thinking we still had time until our agreed two months were up.

The construction work was done by a longtime acquaintance of Jihoon’s dad. That was also why I found it hard to believe that the information he knew could be incorrect. Jihoon should know what his father knew, which meant something was off.

– Hello? Young-a?

I snapped out of my thoughts upon hearing Kang Youngsoo calling my name after realizing he thought the call had dropped.

“…Ah, sorry. What did you say? You asked for the password?”

– Yes. That sneaky bastard wouldn’t give me the password for fear I’d dirty his house. But I thought he’d probably give it to you.

“……”

– I know you’re busy, but please look for it and send it to me before I get off work, all right? It seems like you’re busy, so I’ll hang up? Don’t overdo it, and make sure to eat well. I’ll bring delicious food to share soon!

As soon as the call ended, a horn blared loudly behind me. I snapped back to reality upon seeing the new signal and moved my car.

Before stepping out of the car, I picked up my phone and accessed the messaging app. After scrolling down a bit, I found the personal message thread with Jihoon. He had not reached out to me at all in the last four days, as if to give me time to prepare for his return. I hadn’t done so either. Since we started living together, things got somewhat better, but we weren’t the type to exchange messages frequently. When we had the time to message, we often would just call, and sometimes, when we did message, it would be in group chats with Kang Youngsoo. To prove my point, despite endlessly scrolling, the only content I found was filled with his flight schedules. After skimming through the conversation, I happened upon Jihoon’s house password that he had sent over two years ago.

321516. Staring at the six digits that held no meaning for me, I copied it and sent it to Kang Youngsoo. Just as I was about to exit the chat window, my gaze lingered on the last message Jihoon had sent.

Lee Jihoon

Departing Incheon at 11:00 on November 29, arriving in New York on flight KE082 /

Departing New York at 17:25 on December 2, arriving in Incheon at 11:02 on flight KE091.

My heart felt like it was being trapped in a tightening net. According to the clock on my phone, it was now Tuesday, December 2nd, 4:23 PM. Jihoon was currently in the sky. He had just left New York and would be landing at the airport in a matter of hours, and soon enough, he would meet me again.

The team leader, who had been down south spearheading overnight operations since last week, finally returned to the Police Agency after a week. As soon as the team members saw him enter wearing his khaki-colored jacket, they busily went about their tasks.

“Welcome back, Team Leader.”

“If you haven’t eaten yet, let’s eat together. I’ve got something to talk about.”

“Team Leader. I sent you a brief summary via message earlier…”

The seniors, who had a backlog of reports, stood up one after another to ask about his well-being. Upon seeing the team leader return, I nodded toward the newbie who had called for me and stood up too, holding the documents handed to me by the new recruit.

This week had been particularly eventful, and I figured the seniors would take priority in reporting, but to my surprise, the team leader, having tossed his bag down carelessly, disrupted my expectations.

“I know you all have a lot to say. But let’s eat first and tackle the urgent matters afterward. Ji, you have something to tell me, right? Come with me.”

He pointed directly at me and briskly exited the office. The senior members left behind exchanged bewildered glances in my direction. Still feeling dazed, I hurriedly grabbed the documents and followed after him.

Today, the team leader’s personal office looked dusty, likely because he hadn’t visited for a while. He stepped in ahead of me and, just like last time, opened the window wide. It was only six o’clock, yet the outside world appeared to be shrouded in darkness. Cold winter air blew in through the screens, causing his unkempt hair to flutter around. I waited for him to sit down before presenting the documents I was holding.

“Since last week, there have been news articles mentioning Choi Hyuk-jun’s name at two-day intervals. From what I’ve gathered through sources, it doesn’t seem like these came from the agency…”

“I know.”

“…Excuse me?”

The team leader, showing a nonchalant attitude, shuffled through the documents briefly before pushing them aside. As he fumbled through his jacket pocket for a pack of cigarettes, he turned to me and asked, “Do you want one?” When I shook my head, he took one for himself and lit it. Seeing him looking around, I grabbed the ashtray next to the sofa and handed it to him. He took a deep drag off the cigarette and leaned back into the chair.

A new set of wrinkles seemed to have formed on his previously untouched face. As if suddenly conscious of that fact, he tapped on the wrinkles on his forehead and opened his mouth.

“It seems like Choi Jeong-ho has caught wind of something.”

His statement answered my curiosity about why I had been singled out to report first. I pondered briefly before responding.

“I haven’t noticed any significant movements. It’s been quiet on both Choi Jeong-ho’s and Choi Hyuk-jun’s sides.”

Even amidst our busyness, we had kept tabs on Choi Jeong-ho’s activities, including monitoring visits from acquaintances of his who had been taken into custody last time. There were still undercover police around Choi Hyuk-jun’s house, who had not yet been detained, but no signs of suspicious activity had been discovered in any of those locations.

The team leader crushed an unsmoked cigarette in the ashtray, continuing with a tone of conviction.

“It’s not from their side.”

“What do you mean…?”

“Not the body but the limbs. It seems like the law office is acting on their behalf. Given the way information is leaking, it looks like they’ve established a defense team already, and judging by how things are going, it seems like they want to protect Choi Jeong-ho rather than Choi Hyuk-jun.”

A small sound of disbelief escaped my lips. I hadn’t seen it coming. Given the lack of counterattacks, I had assumed that Choi Jeong-ho was unable to sever ties with the leech that was Choi Hyuk-jun and was stuck carrying him along. I didn’t realize that even that was part of a greater plan.

The team leader, likely thinking along the same lines, continued to speak without hiding the complexity in his expression.

“It seems they’ll pin all the charges on Choi Hyuk-jun first before cutting off the leech. During that process, they aim to drag him down to a point of no return.”

“……”

“Perhaps this is why they’ve been quiet. Buying time. Now that everything’s ready, they feel there’s nothing to fear.”

With a sigh, the team leader rummaged through his jacket’s front pocket. From there, he retrieved a rectangular business card. He held it out for me to see and said, “Here. This is the law office representing Choi Jeong-ho.”

I looked down at the card. It was an ordinary white background with black text that I scanned over.

JI & YOU Partners.

(G&U Law Office)

Having developed the habit of checking affiliations when exchanging business cards, I knew I needed to grasp the person’s origin in order to understand their intentions. In this field of work, I occasionally found myself in the company of lawyers. The clients were typically a smaller group of privileged individuals with shallow morals and deep pockets who would bring their lawyers to the stage from the investigation phase.

Convinced that this new law office would involve someone with a shallow criminal conscience and ample resources, I raised my gaze after confirming the office name. As soon as I spotted the name written in print, I inhaled sharply. I had not expected to find a name here that belonged to someone I knew.

[Ji Seong-geun, Representative]

* * *

I stood at the entrance of the building, wondering why I had come this far. Despite this, I momentarily glanced at the building directory. Though it showed its age, it stood tall in the heart of Gangnam. Ji & You Partners occupied floors 13 through 17 exclusively.

Next to the Ji & You Partners logo, there was a barely noticeable mark that could only be seen with attention. It was a remnant of a former company logo, indicating that another entity once occupied this space. Only upon seeing that trace did I realize I was thinking of a place I had known before.

I had been here before, long ago. As a child, I had held my father’s hand and entered this building when he got a sudden call during an outing. I think it was during Children’s Day. He was never the type to make time to take me out unless it was on a special occasion. While waiting for him to return shortly, I spent my time alone in the lobby’s café.

This was my father’s workplace. The logo I remembered from the last visit was Jeong & You Partners. When I hadn’t visited for a while, one letter had changed in the name. My dad always pushed for greater heights, willing to risk everything just to attach his name to a logo. After pushing away his wife and son, he might have found it easier to soar.

But that was just nostalgia. I took a step forward.

The office lobby was uncrowded past regular working hours. The in-house café on the first floor remained in the same familiar spot. Although the café’s name had changed, I found familiarity in the layout of the few tables and chairs near the counter. The counter, evidencing the late hour, was closed.

Inside the darkened café sat a man. Wearing glasses, he was staring intently at some documents in his hand with his legs crossed. His focus was so intense that he seemed unmindful of anyone watching him. Without intending to, I found myself drifting closer to the café, almost murmuring his name softly despite the distance.