FBF chapter 10 part 8

“Wow. This bastard’s ego has really inflated since I last saw him, hasn’t it?”

“…….”

“What do you think I’m curious about your insignificant opinions for? Isn’t it too positive, even if you’re being positive?”

Choi Hyuk-jun’s expression hardened. Even while looking straight at him, Lee Ji-hoon casually scooped his rice with a spoon. Meanwhile, Hyuk-jun let out a scoff, as if he couldn’t believe it either.

“Then again, living with such a big head must be comfortable. It’s better than hanging around with Park Cheol-seung and bullying kids, so just keep on living like that. But maybe learn to shut your mouth when the older guys are having a serious conversation?”

Lee Ji-hoon, throwing out comments devoid of enthusiasm, turned to look at me.

“Looks like you’re still pondering it, considering you haven’t answered. But you still have plenty of time. Take it slow to think it over. Don’t feel pressured just because the homeroom teacher says something.”

Recalling a previous question, Ji-hoon directed his words not at Hyuk-jun but at me. It was a perfect dismissal of Hyuk-jun, a clear line drawn between us, signaling me not to interfere any longer. Even in that moment, I couldn’t take my eyes off Hyuk-jun. I was too scared to respond to Ji-hoon’s words, fearing something might happen if I did. All I managed to grasp was the brief twitch of Hyuk-jun’s lips, but surprisingly, I realized something else.

“The optimistic one isn’t me; it’s you. You’re the one torturing a poor kid by telling him he can choose between law school, medical school, or police academy.”

Hyuk-jun’s original target was never me.

“That kid’s poor. He’s got no parents and lives with his grandfather who works as a security guard. And you call yourself a friend and don’t even know that?”

Lee Ji-hoon stopped eating with his chopsticks. Hyuk-jun smiled again, as if to say he knew that would happen. Yet his gaze was fixed on me, as if he were curious what kind of expression I was making in that moment.

“The grades he gets here are nothing to write home about. He’s competing against kids who have parents with money to spend on tutoring. It’d be lucky if he doesn’t have to rely on his grandfather’s back.”

Hyuk-jun laughed once more. He did so in a way that mimicked Ji-hoon’s earlier reaction to his own face, twisting his features as if mocking the most innocent illusions held by those he knew.

Time seemed to slow down and settle. The space with the three of us felt as if it was disappearing somewhere. I was staring at the ragged memories bobbing up in that emptiness.

There was a time when I lent Hyuk-jun a pen. It had been one of the pens lying around at home. Hyuk-jun tilted his head as he gazed at the small writing along the side of the pen. When I mentioned my grandfather was a security guard, he nodded in understanding, but the following day he casually brought it up. He said his dad had recently acquired a factory. ‘Is that place paying a lot? It doesn’t look very big.’ His face, which frowned as he asked that, looked much like the one when he panicked over my MP3 player just a moment earlier.

It was just a mild rudeness from someone oblivious to the harm it could cause; nothing to fix in particular. But the purposeful Hyuk-jun held the knife backward, prodding at the straw that had been set aside. He didn’t care what could be inside, as long as it could provoke Ji-hoon.

Even while looking straight ahead, I sensed Ji-hoon’s head turning towards me. I couldn’t bear to face him. The moment we locked eyes, I felt like I would spill everything. I stood there frozen, desperately trying to deny that ominous feeling.

Because if I didn’t, everything would turn into an irreparable mess.

“How long has it been?”

His voice was surprisingly calm for someone who was being provoked. Though I didn’t turn to look, he didn’t take his eyes off me. Rather, he stared intensely for a prolonged moment.

“That bastard is talking nonsense like this….”

“…….”

“And you’re just pretending you didn’t hear anything, sitting there quietly.”

“…….”

“Since when?”

The longer I stayed silent, the lower Ji-hoon’s voice grew. But soon he adjusted his tone.

“Are you holding back for some kind of reason?”

With a much softer tone than before, as if to comfort me.

“Making a fuss won’t do you any good, will it? Letting it escalate will only mess up your record.”

Ji-hoon seemed to want to convince himself, trying to speak on my behalf. When Ji-hoon kept interrogating him, seeking to understand the situation, Hyuk-jun twisted his lips once again, this time with an even more distorted expression, mocking Ji-hoon with renewed vigor.

“Can’t stand watching that wannabe model student act like that.”

Without even hiding the knife anymore, Hyuk-jun openly jabbed at Ji-hoon. It felt like a test to see if he’d just sit there peacefully.

“If you’re going to act, at least do it properly. You’re right behind the teachers who are too busy sucking up to you. Go tell them. Wasn’t that why you were sitting here?”

“…….”

“Tell them to come down hard on me, damn it. Is there any other way to get me out without sullying my record? What? Are you too scared to do that too?”

Once again, Ji-hoon didn’t react. Instead, he turned his body completely towards me, away from Hyuk-jun.

“Seon-uk-a.”

Just those three syllables made my eyes blink in surprise. It felt like I exhaled the breath I had been holding and turned my head. My vision cleared as if the fog had lifted.

“Did the words you shouldn’t be naive sound like I told you to just bear with it?”

“…….”

“I didn’t mean it that way.”

Finally, I could see Ji-hoon. When our eyes met, he smiled, as if to reassure me that everything was alright.

“There’s no end to the kind of trash that decides to do this on purpose. How long do you plan to put up with it?”

With a faint sigh, Ji-hoon glanced down. He fidgeted with his electronic wristwatch and, as he unbuckled it, he tossed it onto the table in frustration.

“Isn’t it lucky that it’s not worse?”

It was only then that I noticed Ji-hoon was gripping his food tray tightly with his hand that had nothing clinging to it. The tension in his hand had raised the veins on the back of it, and the moment I saw that, I felt sick to my stomach. My heart was racing as if it might burst out of my chest any moment. I quickly opened my mouth, as if begging Hyuk-jun like before. No, maybe with even more urgency than that.

“I’m the kind of romantic who worries about my friend’s record.”

But before I could reach out, Ji-hoon threw the food tray across the table. It flew directly at Hyuk-jun’s face, creating a loud clatter as it skidded across the cafeteria floor.

“…What the hell?”

A group of boys returning their trays froze and turned their heads towards us. Then the kids from across the table followed suit. Next were the teachers seated at their table. Amidst the steadily accumulating gazes, the cafeteria, which had been filled with the noise of over a hundred people, turned silent in an instant.

I could see Hyuk-jun’s face trembling. His eyelids slowly lifted. Before the veins standing out from his face were visible behind the various dressings, Ji-hoon lunged at Hyuk-jun.

“Say that again, you goddamn bastard. What do you mean by calling someone a beggar?”

Every time Ji-hoon forced those syllables out with his clenched teeth, his fist slammed down at Hyuk-jun. The sound of flesh and bone twisting filled the air, even when Hyuk-jun struck Ji-hoon’s head with the food tray he was holding.

The tussle between the two of them, rolling around on the cafeteria floor, instantly transformed the quiet space into chaos. I quickly spotted the gym teacher hastily getting up from his seat, recovering from having his mouth agape as if he’d just realized what was happening. Ji-hoon’s homeroom teacher, who had been seated next to him, and our class’s homeroom teacher, who was seated across from him, were also racing to intervene.

“Ji-hoon!”

The moment someone yelled Ji-hoon’s name, I realized there were several people trying to stop Ji-hoon, who was on top of Hyuk-jun, throwing punches at him. A growing circle formed to separate the two fighters, pushing tables and chairs aside as they moved closer. The gym teacher was elbowing students out of the way in order to get to the center of it. In the process, a clock that had been precariously perched at the edge of a table tumbled down. The logo of the falling clock was familiar. It was the watch I had given to Ji-hoon last year for his birthday.

Once the clock shattered, time resumed. The overwhelming sensory experience of reality I had sought to ignore crashed down on me like a painful wave. There was no way that everything I was witnessing was a dream, and therefore I stood in the midst of Ji-hoon dismantling everything he had built since entering school.

“…No. No, Ji-hoon.”

The moment I stammered out that last remark, I realized that nothing could be taken back now.

All because of me. Just for that trivial reason alone.

After a fight that erupted a day before exams, the faculty office was thrown into disarray. Like a bunch of boys who clustered together, it was clear to the teachers that this wouldn’t be just another fight they could dismiss as something to forget by the next day. There were too many eyes witnessing the brawl, and even after dragging the two apart and isolating them in the office, there was no way to proceed with plans for reconciliation.

In an instant, a childish fight escalated into an adult confrontation.

Ji-hoon’s father entered the faculty office wearing work clothes. He looked like he had been called directly from the factory. Upon seeing him, I froze in shock, but he regarded me without any visible surprise. Instead, he seemed perplexed and turned to look at the teachers surrounding him.

“Seon-uk, you’re still here? Teacher, he’s not the one who fought; what’s your reason for holding him here?”

Seeing the teachers simply exchanging glances with one another, Ji-hoon’s father pressed them, which eventually led to him getting permission for me to return to class. As he pushed me aside, as if to hurry me along, he locked eyes with me.

“Seon-uk, since I’m here, you don’t need to worry. Just go back and study, okay?”

I noticed how he looked at me worriedly, much like Ji-hoon had just a moment ago, on those stairs, or earlier in the cafeteria. Just that alone caused everything I had been holding back to collapse. Tears streamed down my face, which had been frozen in fear and tension.

“Mr. Ji-hoon’s fighting was all because of me… It was my fault. I thought he was being bullied… It’s all my fault. I… I told the teachers, but they didn’t believe me. Still, I can fix this, Mr. Ji-hoon. I’ll do whatever it takes. I’m so sorry. I’m really sorry.”

Ji-hoon’s father frowned and shook his head at my confession, looking as if he couldn’t believe it. His large hands patted my shoulder in a comforting manner.

“Why would this be your fault? It was Kim’s fists that swung. And, you know, my son is a bit selfish, more than he should be. There must have been a reason for him to act like that.”

“…….”

“I didn’t mention anything to Yi-jangnim, so you don’t need to say anything either. He’ll just worry for nothing.”

As he urged me to leave, he pushed me away and shut the door of the faculty office. Still, I remained frozen, unable to leave, when I was suddenly jolted by the sound of footsteps approaching.

“They say they’re classmates. Different classes, though.”

Two men were walking toward the faculty office. One, a younger man, spoke quickly, almost as if he were rushing to keep up with someone else. The other, a middle-aged man, walked faster, taking cautious steps as if unsure of himself. The man who had walked ahead turned slightly, spotting the sign for the faculty office, and asked,

“What time is the next appointment?”

“At two o’clock, we have an appointment with the president of Han Young Shipping. Should we postpone?”

“Leave it. It’s not something that will take long.”

The older man clicked his tongue and raked a hand through his hair. He was short but looked quite sturdy overall. Even without an overtly threatening demeanor, anyone with eyes would recognize he wasn’t someone to be trifled with. I instinctively knew he was Choi Hyuk-jun’s father. The moment he brushed past me to take the doorknob, that became my reason for speaking up.

“I went to that house.”

The man slowly turned his head toward me. His eyes glinted sharply for a brief moment. That stare subsided quickly, but I didn’t stop.

“I know why that house was built where no one lives, and what lies behind that small door on the first floor.”

“…….”

“I haven’t told anyone, but depending on how today’s incident is resolved, I might be willing to talk.”

“Student. What are you saying out of nowhere? Talk to me.”

As the young man approached me with an intimidating tone, the older man raised one hand. It was a signal to back off. The young man stepped back with an annoyed expression, allowing his father to take his place.

“You’re that top student, aren’t you?”

The closer he stepped, the stronger the overwhelming scent of cologne wafted from him. Just standing nearby made me frown, yet I felt like I shouldn’t show a trace of fear. I didn’t back down.

“After spending money like you have, it seems your kid couldn’t even make a friend to side with him.”

“My kid.” “Failure.” Those words slipped from him easily. He frowned as though expressing pity for someone else’s misfortune and then patted my shoulder.

“That’s a pity. It wouldn’t hurt to have a smart kid by your side.”

He gestured toward his son, and the secretary by the doorway opened the faculty office door, stepping aside with a perfectly executed stance to announce his arrival as he clapped his hands.

“I am Choi Jeong-ho, father of Choi Hyuk-jun. I need to leave in ten minutes, but I was wondering if anyone could let me know how I could efficiently use the little time that’s left?”

With the final sight of him speaking like a shrewd businessman, the faculty office door closed. After that, I couldn’t hear another sound.

Our school didn’t hold night study sessions the day before exams. It was meant to encourage students to manage their own condition before tests, as well as give homeroom teachers a final chance to breathe amid the exam preparations they needed to undertake for their subjects. The teachers must have been particularly grateful for the break this day.

Even after lunchtime had passed, the atmosphere remained unsettled. A general feeling of chaos filled the place. Everyone across the classes was gossiping about Choi Hyuk-jun and Lee Ji-hoon. Discussions filled the air about how the two boys had fought, why they fought, and who had won or lost, even several hours after they had been dragged out of the cafeteria during lunch.

Alone in a vacant classroom after everyone had gone home, I sat still, just like I had all afternoon.

The sound of the door creaking open reassured me that I should have been doing this. After a brief pause, the footsteps resumed. Only after the steps drew close did I finally speak.

“Do you even remember the names of those who bullied you?”

Hyuk-jun didn’t answer. I couldn’t tell if it was because he genuinely didn’t remember or simply didn’t want to respond. I’d been aware he wouldn’t budge easily, so I wasn’t surprised. Instead, I probed further, attempting to provoke him with other words.

“You look just like your dad.”

Hyuk-jun flinched and stood still. The marks from Ji-hoon’s punches remained on his cheeks and lips. However, the signs of food and blood were no longer visible; it meant he had received first aid. I rose from my seat, keeping my gaze fixed on the sizable bruise that covered his cheek.

I lifted my foot to kick the leg of Hyuk-jun’s desk. The desk tumbled sideways. The sound was loud, yet it was a trivial action that anyone could have done with just a single kick. Yet no one did, and thus Hyuk-jun went about his business without a worry, while he nonchalantly subjected others to similar acts.

“Still, today I noticed one difference.”

“…….”

“At least your dad understands more than you do.”

Hyuk-jun stared down, responding without a word. It was unclear whether he was gazing at the fallen desk or the bag that had been knocked to the floor beneath it; his expression didn’t betray even a hint of regret. It felt surprising that he chose to return here rather than going straight home.

But I instinctively knew Hyuk-jun would end up here. Maybe he felt the same way.

This would be our final act.

“What you should be wary of isn’t your dad. It’s not even drugs.”

According to my homeroom teacher, who sighed after seeing me stubbornly waiting outside the faculty office during every break, Hyuk-jun had announced he was transferring. While the teacher hesitated to attach the word “forced” to that announcement, I predicted some sort of compromise had taken place concerning Ji-hoon’s punishment. I had no doubt that Hyuk-jun’s father had taken care of it within that ten-minute window. He looked like someone who would do just that.

What would have made me hesitate in the past couldn’t even stop me now.

“Those who you continually look down upon and think are beneath you will someday strike you from behind.”

“…….”

“Keep on living like that.”

Finally, Hyuk-jun lifted his head. I envisioned him menacingly staring at Ji-hoon like a predator eyeing its quarry. I should have been the one standing there, not Ji-hoon. That moment would be burned in my memory for a lifetime.

“Spending your whole life blaming others. Thinking none of it is your fault, running away, and leeching off the people you despise to survive. And then….”

Blood trickled down Hyuk-jun’s chin, dripping from his lips that he had been biting. I found myself staring intently at what could be a remnant of his conscience.

“When the time comes you can’t even blame anyone anymore and want to kill yourself, that’s when I’ll help you.”

I threw the object I had been holding at Hyuk-jun’s feet. The new MP3 player I had never once used bounced off Hyuk-jun’s leg and rolled to the backseat. As I glanced back at it, I walked away without hesitation. It was only when I opened the back door that Hyuk-jun finally spoke.

“Lee Ji-hoon.”

Just as I knew that mentioning his father would provoke him, Hyuk-jun also realized that saying Ji-hoon’s name would provoke me. Without even looking at me, he uttered his words.

“I don’t think I’ll ever forget that name.”

In that moment, I knew the answer to the question I had thrown at him when he entered the class. I turned my head back.

“So you’d better take that bastard’s words to heart. Whether you become a doctor, a lawyer, or no matter how difficult it is due to tuition, go ahead and try.”

“…….”

“Then you can save your spineless friend, just like you do now.”

Hyuk-jun wasn’t looking at me. He kept his gaze fixed on the MP3 lying on the ground, and he delivered his words almost as if he were whispering them to himself.

“Just remember that not everyone can pick a fight with a gangster’s kid. Maybe in a way, that kid’s worse than I am.”

I didn’t answer and continued walking. The moment I closed the door behind me and left Hyuk-jun alone, I realized I had never truly done anything like that before.

Lee Ji-hoon sat by himself in the academic counseling room, which lacked even a teacher to consult with. Holding Ji-hoon’s backpack, I waited outside the faculty office much like the gym teacher had told me he couldn’t resist saying. Rather than writing a letter of reflection, he was staging a silent protest with his arms crossed, looking utterly puzzled about why he even had to do so. Despite having no significant injury, his face looked serious because of the bruised eyes and the bandages tightly wrapped around his cheeks. I looked away from Ji-hoon’s split lip. Our eyes met for a moment, and even though only a few hours had passed since that moment when he had panicked, striking out and making everyone else uncomfortable, Ji-hoon now seemed to be in a situation where he needed to justify himself.