FBF chapter 25 part 4
by Volare“I was wondering when you’d say that.”
Jihoon opened the ring case. Two rings of similar size were nestled close together. I couldn’t believe it even though I was looking at it. It was astonishing that he had prepared this, and that he hadn’t mentioned it even once during the ten months we had lived together. One of the countless questions swirling in my mind managed to slip out.
“When did you…?”
“A while ago.”
“Why not just say it as soon as you bought it…?”
“You wouldn’t wear it anyway unless you felt you needed it, even if I forced it on you.”
A hollow laugh escaped me at his expression that seemed to be asking if I wasn’t right. I realized once again that defeating someone who knows me better than I know myself is nearly impossible.
“Give me your hand.”
Following Jihoon’s request, I raised my left hand. The ring slid on smoothly, not pausing even at my knuckle. It fit so well that it was as if he had measured my size secretly. I immediately placed the same ring onto Jihoon’s hand. I absentmindedly squeezed and released my hand; perhaps because I wasn’t used to the sensation, it felt endlessly awkward. I stared at the sparkling rings until I was entranced, and when I sensed him watching me, I lifted my gaze. Only then did I realize it was time to greet him regarding the long wait. Before I could break eye contact with Jihoon, I quietly moved my lips.
“Thank you.”
He leaned in for a quick kiss, and Jihoon laughed brightly, realizing how rare it was for me to initiate a kiss without being asked. I leaned back against him, who was hugging me from behind. As he pressed his lips along my shoulder, he suddenly spoke as if he had just remembered something.
“This situation is a bit more exposed than what I’d imagined when buying the rings.”
As I turned my head, I found myself facing his playful expression. I held onto Jihoon’s cheek and pressed my lips against his. Even if I thought we might not be able to have sex again, I felt like we could share the most romantic kiss two people in this state could have instead.
“Seon-uk, I need the car keys!”
Before I could process the sound of the front door, my body struggled to rise. It had barely been five minutes since Jihoon had said he was popping out for a quick errand. It felt strange that he would leave the keys behind.
Jihoon’s car keys were indeed on the drawer in front of the TV. As I picked up the keys and turned my body, Jihoon was standing at the front door, waiting for me without even taking off his shoes. His hand on the doorknob indicated that he intended to leave again right after receiving the keys. As I handed them to him, he smiled apologetically.
“Sorry. I just remembered when I got to the parking lot.”
It was unlike Jihoon to forget such a thing, but I could see how that might happen. He grabbed my waist gently as if it was obvious I would nod. I wobbled a little as my balance faltered, nearly letting out a moan that I managed to suppress. The whole reason Jihoon had let me go shopping alone was because my body was still sore from a long night.
“You should give me a kiss to wish me well, right?”
As he presented his cheek to me, I almost pushed him away, but feeling his tightening grip around my waist made me reconsider. He was definitely someone who would get a kiss in one way or another, and resisting would only prolong the teasing. It would only tire me out even more.
I pecked Jihoon’s other cheek, which he turned eagerly towards me. I had a strong urge to head back into the room and sleep. Jihoon had three days off starting today. With the weekend ahead filled with us being together, I needed to recharge my energy to keep up with his playfulness.
“Is that enough? Go, hurry.”
After one last brief kiss, I waved my hand as he encouraged me to go quickly, but my gaze froze in the gap of the open door. While we had kissed right outside the entrance, it was a small enough gap that I didn’t really need to worry about being seen. After all, the nearest house could only be reached by walking at least twenty steps away. However, the person visible through the gap disproved my relaxed thoughts.
Thump.
I thought it was my heart dropping, but it wasn’t. Jihoon had also turned his head towards the dull sound. Jihoon, who had also checked the door, froze for a moment. We both found ourselves caught in the gaze of Kang Youngsoo.
Specifically, it was Kang Youngsoo, staring at us with his mouth agape, alternating between looking at me and Jihoon. I could see a Lock&Lock container among the crumpled shopping bags Youngsoo dropped in shock.
“……”
“……”
“……”
The first to move was Jihoon. With a click, the sound of the door lock engaging was heard. The dazed expression on Kang Youngsoo’s face disappeared, leaving only Jihoon’s face directed toward me.
“How far did we go?”
It was only when I saw Jihoon’s nonchalant question that I snapped back to my senses. I shoved Jihoon away and grabbed the doorknob.
Kang Youngsoo remained frozen in place, caught in a shock that widened his eyes. I swallowed hard before managing to speak to him.
“…Youngsoo.”
Only after I called out his name did he blink. His expression seemed to regain a sense of reality, albeit belatedly. The first thing he did was rub his eyes vigorously with his hands, as if he couldn’t believe the scene he had just witnessed.
“Ah… is my eye… wrong? No, I really saw something strange just now. So….”
“……”
“……”
“Seon-uk, you kissed Jihoon first….”
“……”
“……”
“A kiss?!”
The way he repeated the same words as if he couldn’t let the glaring error go was frantic. Kang Youngsoo raised his head in urgency, and the whites of his eyes were clearly bloodshot from how hard he had rubbed them. With a serious expression, he asked, “Could it be that… was it mouth-to-mouth resuscitation or something?”
It was a question that left me speechless, wanting to explain but finding myself unable to speak. Without answering, I turned to check Jihoon first. Leaning against the door with his arms crossed, Jihoon bore a disinterested expression as if Kang Youngsoo’s confusion had nothing to do with him.
“Did Jihoon get electrocuted… or did he temporarily lose consciousness… Basically, there was no other way except for that, right? Isn’t that so?”
Kang Youngsoo’s questions gradually morphed into a frenzied insistence. When he grabbed my arm, I instinctively pulled my shirt down.
“…Hey, let go. I get it. Just let go of this.”
His grip was so tight that my t-shirt was stretched down. I couldn’t help but think that the marks left by Jihoon last night might get revealed between my clothes. It wouldn’t be good to be caught up in such rumors about kissing in front of Kang Youngsoo. Just then, when I was about to comfort Kang Youngsoo, who looked half-awake, Jihoon suddenly snapped, “Hey. Kang Youngsoo.”
For the first time, Kang Youngsoo’s gaze shifted from me. At that moment, Jihoon shook off the hold Youngsoo had on my arm. I anxiously stared at Jihoon’s back, hoping that he would calm Kang Youngsoo down. But now that I was watching him this closely, I worried about what he was going to say.
Jihoon placed both hands firmly on Kang Youngsoo’s shoulders, as if he were a coach giving advice to a fighter before a match.
“I’ll say this only once, so listen carefully.”
Kang Youngsoo’s blank stare focused sharply on Jihoon.
“Seon-uk and I….”
“……”
“……”
“We’re in love. Not electric shock, but love shock. Okay?”
Kang Youngsoo’s jaw dropped. Even though Jihoon was speaking with a seriousness that was inappropriate for the situation, he looked at his childhood friend, who seemed half out of it. As he tightened his grip on Youngsoo’s shoulders, he said firmly with a serious expression.
“What you witnessed was just a fraction of it. We kiss about a hundred times a day. Including kisses done in secret, that’s a hundred fifty times. It’s fundamentally and quantitatively different from when you just brush Seon-uk’s cheek once in a while. Understand? Are you hearing this?”
It took my breath away, and I pressed my forehead as I squeezed my eyes shut. When we had discussed telling Kang Youngsoo about us before his marriage, I never imagined a situation like this would arise. No, in truth, no one could have imagined such a chaotic scene.
“To think I wasted a golden day off on something like this….”
“Shut up.”
After giving him one last warning glance, Jihoon silenced himself. This had been the dynamic between us from the moment Youngsoo came to visit. It was a verbal tug of war created by Jihoon insisting it wasn’t necessary to go this far while I questioned whether we should let it slide like this.
How did we end up like this? A day that I thought would just involve eating Jihoon’s cooking and lounging around was unfolding in ways I never predicted. With a short sigh, I shook off my thoughts and stared intently at the keypad. So… was their house 708?
“709.”
As I turned around, I locked eyes with Jihoon, who stood with his hands stuffed deep in his pants pockets. He nodded towards the keypad to confirm it.
“Yeah, it’s 709. Go ahead and press it.”
Regardless of Jihoon’s attitude, I was grateful he was the one accompanying me. Since he had a good memory, the chance of him misremembering was nearly zero. I punched in 709 on the keypad and pressed the call button. A mechanical voice signaled that someone had responded.
“Is that you, Kang Youngsoo? Are you there?”
The urgency in my voice was as if I were attempting to catch a criminal, related to how Kang Youngsoo had bolted out earlier. He literally ran out of the place.
“So… you two are dating?”
“Yeah.”
“Both of you…?”
“Yeah.”
“You and… you and…?”
“Yeah, you jerk.”
“…Is it true? You’re not joking, right?”
The last question came directed at me, as Kang Youngsoo’s gaze was fixed on me rather than Jihoon. When I hesitated to deny it, he looked pale. His face, which had been going back and forth between us with his mouth open, now wore a dumbfounded expression.
“Then what about me?”
I remained silent.
“…You crazy bastard. Are the three of us going to kiss?”
Jihoon swore.
That was only for a moment. As Youngsoo raised his fists to the sky in exasperation, he started to pound his head with his fists.
“Ahhhhh-!!!!”
Making a sound akin to Saoh, he ran off, seemingly without the thought to take the elevator. The sound of his hurried footsteps and shouts echoed in turns.
Neither of us could process the absurdity of what was happening to the point where it didn’t even occur to us to follow him. By the time we snapped back to reality and made it down to the parking lot, Kang Youngsoo’s car had already vanished. I called him immediately, but each time my call was rejected. It wasn’t until an hour later that I received a message from him.
Kang Youngsoo
I… need some time to sort things out… 3:05 PM
Don’t contact me until I reach out… 3:07 PM
He said he needed time, but I didn’t have the confidence to just sit around and wait. Especially considering that the only explanation he had heard about our relationship was Jihoon’s odd rambling about the qualitative differences of kisses.
I pressed my throbbing head and tried to speak as gently as possible.
“What you saw earlier… I came to explain it properly. Jihoon won’t tease anymore, so just come down for a bit…”
-Okay.
I thought I’d have to persuade him for a while since he hadn’t answered calls or texts, but to my surprise, a prompt reply came back. I exchanged glances with Jihoon. Youngsoo’s voice sounded calm enough to reassure me that he wouldn’t bolt out again.
“I’ll get ready and come down, so wait for me at the bar nearby. I’ll go directly there.”
Before I could respond, the line went silent, likely because Youngsoo had hung up. Jihoon shrugged and took the lead, seeming to know the direction to the bar Youngsoo had mentioned, as if he had been there before.
Even though it was November, the weather still leaned towards autumn. The bar Youngsoo mentioned was located at the very end of the commercial area beneath an officetel. It was a local dive, so there weren’t many patrons. Watching Jihoon nonchalantly order without even glancing at the menu indicated that he had been there with Youngsoo before. Jihoon and I settled on an outdoor table. Perhaps due to the cold wind that sometimes brushed against us, the outdoor tables in front of the bar weren’t very popular. The only thing to see was a monitor that the owner had placed for customers sitting outside, displaying videos of random people passing by. Occasionally, an ad popped up before a video played, suggesting it was a chaotic mix of various clips from a video platform.
“Ugh, it’s cold… damn.”
Jihoon shivered, bringing his hoodie over his head. I had seen him shiver from the cold many times before, but today I felt particularly guilty. I tried to take off my outerwear to offer it to him, but he refused and insisted we go inside. Just as I was about to stand to go inside, he grabbed me.
“Forget it. If you go inside, we won’t be able to talk properly. You’d be worried about others.”
I realized he had wanted to sit outside for that reason after all the stubbornness he had exhibited on the way to Youngsoo’s house. Knowing that he had thought of me in an unexpected way made me feel a bit awkward. Jihoon glanced at me and offered me a piece of squid. Before I knew it, I moved my jaw to take a bite from it. The squid was tough, and I understood why Jihoon needed to chew it multiple times.
We sat side by side for a while, just munching on squid. With our sights set on the monitor, Jihoon casually threw out a comment.
“Don’t worry too much.”
“How can I not worry?”
“What’s worrying you so much?”
“Well… what I saw today was so shocking that he might say he doesn’t want to see us again.”
“Who? Youngsoo?”
He looked at me with a bemused expression, as if he couldn’t fathom what I was saying. After a brief chuckle, Jihoon made a straightforward declaration.
“Yeah, right. That brat always starts with our story no matter who he meets.”
Even if it had played out like this, I didn’t actually think that Youngsoo would avoid us. We had known each other for fifteen years now. I understood that the affection he held for us wouldn’t waver because of something like this. Jihoon, who had known Youngsoo since birth, was likely more aware of that than I was and perhaps this was all just an overreaction.
“What you should be worried about is not that he decides not to see us, but how to fend him off when he inevitably asks us for a double date later.”
I lowered my gaze from Jihoon’s and looked at my watch. We had been waiting for Youngsoo for nearly thirty minutes now.
That’s right… if he didn’t want to see us, he wouldn’t have asked us to wait here.
Thinking that made my heart feel a little lighter. I stopped tapping my forehead with my fingers and shifted my gaze to the screen Jihoon was watching.
An ad for a dishwasher was playing. Without a remote, we were forced to watch the ad since there was no way to skip it. As I watched a male celebrity in a white shirt flash a bright smile and walk into the kitchen, I suddenly recognized his face and glanced sideways. Jihoon’s brow furrowed as his gaze followed the man on the screen. Focusing hard, I noticed his jaw was moving more slowly.
I sighed and poked at Jihoon’s arm.
“Hey.”
Just yesterday, I thought it was a coincidence; but when I really thought about it, it was obvious. Especially since I was already aware of who Jihoon’s ex was, and that this ex was becoming increasingly more popular, appearing on television and in movies.
“Jihoon.”
When I called him again, his head turned towards me. Taking a deep breath, I quickly spat it out.
“I haven’t contacted Hyunwoo even once since we broke up.”
This was the first time I had openly mentioned Hyunwoo’s name in front of Jihoon. As if he already knew, Jihoon subtly raised his eyebrows. His arms crossed, he seemed inclined to listen.
I maintained eye contact with him as I continued. It had been difficult to speak about it, but once I started, it flowed out easily.
“That time he stopped me at the mart was to give me a heads-up about the drug scandal in the industry.”
“……”
“He’s doing fine living his life, and he’s no longer interested in me. Nor am I in him.”
“……”
“I could understand being jealous, but there’s no need to be on alert every time you see him. I don’t want to fight with you over the past. It doesn’t mean anything. That’s why I don’t feel the need to ask you about it either.”
While expressing this, I truly understood why Jihoon was acting this way. I still remembered the feeling I experienced when I saw Jihoon casually mention his girlfriend while we were sitting across from each other at the tteokbokki restaurant. Of course, back then I was hesitant to call it jealousy, but I eventually acknowledged that the sense of loss I felt could also be a form of jealousy. However, even if I felt envious of the people Jihoon had been with, nothing would change. They were merely fleeting shadows, and we had chosen not to see each other for a reason. Continuously dragging those people into our conversation like this was an action that disrespected them. In simple terms, Hyunwoo wouldn’t even know we were discussing him.
Jihoon remained silent for a while, seemingly mulling over my words. When he finally set the squid he had been holding down onto the tray, I quietly stared at him. As our eyes met, he stretched out his words.
“So you’re saying… to put aside any trivial jealousy and move forward with gusto?”
“…In gusto, I suppose.”
“The essence of it is that, right?”
“Yeah. I wanted to clear things up once and for all.”
“Ugh…”
Leaning his back against the blue plastic chair, Jihoon threw his head back. The hoodie he was wearing slipped a bit, revealing his nicely styled hair. Looking up at the sky, he let out a deep sigh.
“It must be nice to be really cool like you, Seon-uk….”
“What do you mean…?”
“I’m just a sulking, jellyfish of a person so it takes me a while to process things. You have to understand that.”
“……”
“No, just endure it. If you, my lover, can’t endure it, then who will?”
His tone sounded like a complaint, yet the content was a shameless demand. Our eyes met, and the complicated expression Jihoon had moments ago instantly switched. He leaned forward towards me.
“Hey, let’s do this.”
I felt uneasy before even hearing the rest. It wasn’t the first time I had dug my own grave by giving in to that kind of expression from him. As I slipped my arm out from his grasp, I cautiously asked.
“…What is it?”
“Everything else is fine, but…”
“……”
“Let’s swap out our wine cellar.”
It was a sudden request. Seeing my confusion, Jihoon explained concisely.
“That brand’s been advertised by your ex. It’s even the same model, and that annoys me.”
My mouth involuntarily shut. Although I wanted to say fine, the fact that Jihoon was paying attention to something I hadn’t, especially such a familiar item, left me with no choice but to question it.
“…Didn’t you just buy that a month ago?”
Jihoon raised his eyebrows sharply.
“Exactly. So what?”
His tone was snarky. In that moment, I lost the will to rebut upon meeting his challenging gaze. I sighed and scratched my forehead.
“…Fine. Then just give it to Kang Youngsoo.”
Thinking back, it was something Kang Youngsoo had often coveted when he came over. I’d heard that it was the only appliance that didn’t get picked up when their company faced a recall of early products.
Since Jihoon didn’t voice any objections, it was quickly decided without questioning Youngsoo’s opinion. I watched as he peeled peanuts with a relieved expression, but then suddenly felt anxious and asked.
“Hey, could it be…?”
After coming home, I wondered if this sudden inclination to replace furniture had anything to do with some ridiculous juvenile jealousy. It reminded me of how he had systematically replaced the TV, air purifiers, and even the air conditioner. The thought of all those appliances, not a single one from the brand that Hyunwoo had just advertised, gave me hope that my assumption might be right. However, if I confirmed it with Jihoon, I felt like I’d lose my mind; thus, I simply kept silent.