TFOD Chapter 135

When Lan Wangji returned, Wei Wuxian had already counted to over one thousand three hundred.

“One thousand three hundred and sixty-nine, one thousand three hundred and seventy, one thousand three hundred and seventy-one…”

He lifted his leg rhythmically, the colorful shuttlecock fluttering between his feet, soaring into the sky, steadily falling, then flying even higher, drifting down slowly, as if an invisible thread connected it, making it never leave a certain part of Wei Wuxian’s body.

At the same time, an invisible thread also tightly pulled the gazes of many children nearby.

Then he heard Wei Wuxian say: “One thousand three hundred and seventy-two, one thousand three hundred and eighty-one…”

Lan Wangji: “…”

Amidst the admiring gazes of the children, Wei Wuxian blatantly cheated like this. And this overly large number had already made the snotty-nosed children lose their ability to judge; not a single one of them realized it was wrong. Lan Wangji just watched as Wei Wuxian jumped from seventy-two to eighty-one, and from eighty-one to ninety. Just as he was about to take another leap, Wei Wuxian happened to see him. His eyes lit up, and just as he seemed about to call out to him, he didn’t exert enough force, and the brightly colored shuttlecock flew over his head, falling behind Wei Wuxian.

He saw that the shuttlecock was about to be lost, so he hurriedly kicked backwards, his heel saving it. This last kick was the highest, accompanied by a loud “One thousand six hundred!” which caused the children nearby to gasp in surprise and clap their hands enthusiastically.

The situation was settled, a little girl squealed: “One thousand six hundred! He won, you lost!”

Wei Wuxian was not ashamed at all, accepting it calmly and full of vigor. Lan Wangji also raised his hand and clapped a few times, “Clap, clap, clap.”

At this time, a little boy bit his finger, his brow furrowed into a knot, and said, “I think… something’s not right.”

Wei Wuxian said, “What’s not right?”

The boy said, “How could it suddenly become a hundred after ninety? That’s definitely not right.”

A group of children seemed to have split into two groups, one group was obviously completely poisoned by Wei Wuxian, and they shouted, “How could that be, you just don’t want to admit you lost.”

Wei Wuxian also argued: “Why can’t it be a hundred after ninety? Count for yourself, what comes after nine?”

The boy counted painstakingly on his fingers for a long time, saying, “…seven, eight, nine, ten…”

Wei Wuxian immediately said, “See, ten comes after nine, so a hundred must come after ninety.”

The boy was half-convinced, saying, “…Really? Is it not so??”

Wei Wuxian said, “Why not? If you don’t believe me, we can just ask a passerby.”

He looked around and clapped his thigh, saying, “Oh, I found one. This young master looks very reliable, please hold on!”

“…”

Lan Wangji stopped: “What is it?”

Wei Wuxian said, “I wonder if I can ask you a question?”

Lan Wangji said, “It doesn’t matter.”

So Wei Wuxian said, “Excuse me, what comes after ninety?”

Lan Wangji said, “One hundred.”

Wei Wuxian cupped his fist in his palm, “Thank you for your trouble.”

Lan Wangji nodded: “You’re welcome.”

Wei Wuxian nodded with a smile, then turned to the little boy and said, “Look.”

The little boy didn’t quite trust the smiling Wei Wuxian, but when he saw Lan Wangji, this young master with his snow-white clothing, jade ornaments on his sword, his handsome face seemingly unreal, like a celestial being, he could not help but feel a sense of awe, and his wavering heart was immediately persuaded, muttering, “So that’s how you count…”

The children chirped, “One thousand six hundred against three hundred, you lost!”

The little boy refused to accept it, “If I lost, I lost.” He handed a skewer of candied hawthorns to Wei Wuxian and said loudly, “You won! Here, for you!”

After the group of children walked away, Wei Wuxian, with a candied hawthorn in his mouth, said, “Hanguang-Jun, you really gave me face.”

Only then did Lan Wangji walk to his side, saying, “I kept you waiting.”

Wei Wuxian shook his head, “Not long, not long, you were only gone for a while. I only kicked the shuttlecock about three hundred times.”

Lan Wangji said, “One thousand six hundred.”

Wei Wuxian laughed out loud, biting off a hawthorn. Lan Wangji was about to speak when suddenly a coolness on his lips, and a sweetness on his tongue; it was Wei Wuxian who had stuffed the skewer of candied hawthorns into his mouth.

Seeing that his expression was not right, Wei Wuxian asked, “Do you like sweet things?”

Lan Wangji held the skewer of candied hawthorns in his mouth, neither swallowing nor spitting it out, unable to speak. Wei Wuxian said, “If you don’t like sweet things, then give it to me.” He grabbed the thin stick of the candied hawthorn, wanting to take it back. He tried several times, but could not pull it out. It seemed that Lan Wangji had bitten it with his teeth. Wei Wuxian smiled and said, “So are you eating it, or not?”

Lan Wangji also bit off a hawthorn and said, “Eating.”

Wei Wuxian said, “That’s right, if you want to eat, just say it. You’ve always been like this since you were a kid, you want something, you keep it in your heart, and you just won’t say it.”

After laughing at him for a while, the two strolled into town.

Wei Wuxian was someone who, since childhood, loved to play and was greedy when strolling around. He walked fast and wanted everything. When he saw a small toy, he had to touch it to see, when he smelled the fragrant smoke coming from the roadside, he also had to try a bit. Under his encouragement, Lan Wangji also tried some small foods he would never have touched before. Every time Wei Wuxian watched him finish eating, he would ask, “How is it? How is it?” Sometimes Lan Wangji would answer “Acceptable,” sometimes “Very good,” and more often he would answer “Strange.” Whenever this happened, Wei Wuxian would laugh and snatch it back, not letting him try any more.

Originally, they wanted to find a place to have lunch, but Wei Wuxian ate his way from west to east, filling his stomach completely. By the end, he was too lazy to walk, so the two found a clean and presentable soup house and sat down for some soup.

Wei Wuxian ate and played with a radish slice between his chopsticks. While waiting for his lotus root and pork rib soup, he saw Lan Wangji get up and asked strangely, “Where are you going?”

Lan Wangji said, “Wait a moment, I’ll be right back.” After a while, he really did come back. Just as the lotus root and pork rib soup was brought over, Wei Wuxian took a sip. After the waiter left, he whispered to Lan Wangji, “It’s not good.”

Lan Wangji scooped up a small spoonful, taking a light taste, then asked, “What’s bad about it?”

Wei Wuxian stirred the soup with his spoon and said, “You can’t choose hard lotus roots, they should be a bit powdery. This place isn’t bold enough with the seasonings; it’s cooked too lightly and doesn’t have enough flavor. Anyway, it’s not as good as what my shijie made.”

He was just saying it casually, thinking that Lan Wangji would at most “En” and listen seriously. Who knew that he not only listened seriously, but also asked, “How to choose the right ingredients, how to make it flavorful?”

Wei Wuxian finally realized something and said, surprised, “Hanguang-Jun, you don’t want to make lotus root and pork rib soup for me, do you? Did you go to observe the process just now?”

Before Lan Wangji could answer, he began to tease him: “Haha, Hanguang-Jun, it’s not that I look down on you, but with your family’s never-lifting-a-finger attitude and the tastes you’ve grown up with, what you make is definitely something you wouldn’t even look at.”

Lan Wangji took another sip of the soup, noncommittal. Wei Wuxian was waiting for him to respond, but who knew he was as steady as Mount Tai, not responding at all. Finally, he could not wait any longer.

He shamelessly said, “Lan Zhan, were you really going to cook for me just now?”

Lan Wangji was very composed, not saying “yes” nor “no.”

Wei Wuxian was a little anxious. He stood up abruptly, his hands braced on the corner of the table, and said, “Just ‘En’ once!”

Lan Wangji said, “En.”

Wei Wuxian said, “So, is it or isn’t it? Good Lan Zhan, what I said just now was just to tease you. If you really want to cook for me, even if you burn a hole through the bottom of the pot, I dare to eat the pot to show you.”

“…”

Lan Wangji said, “It won’t be that bad.”

Wei Wuxian was practically about to jump onto him and beg: “So are you going to do it or not? Do it, do it, Hanguang-Jun, I’ll eat it!”

Lan Wangji calmly steadied his waist, and said, “Posture.”

Wei Wuxian warned: “Second brother, you can’t treat me like this.”

Lan Wangji, unable to withstand his entanglement, finally grabbed his hand and said, “It’s already been done.”

“Ah?” Wei Wuxian was stunned. “It’s already been done? When? What was made? How come I don’t remember?”

Lan Wangji said, “At the family banquet.”

“…” Wei Wuxian said, “That night, I thought you bought that whole table from that Hunan restaurant in Caiyi Town. You made it yourself?”

Lan Wangji said, “En.”

Wei Wuxian was shocked.

He said, “You made that? Cloud Recesses has such a thing as a kitchen?”

“…Of course there is.”

“You washed and chopped the vegetables? You added the oil and put it in the pot? You seasoned it?”

“En.”

“You… you…”

Wei Wuxian was so shocked that he didn’t know what to say. Finally, he grabbed Lan Wangji’s collar with one hand, and scooped his neck with the other, giving him a hard kiss.

Fortunately, the two always chose the most inconspicuous and quiet places, sitting against the wall. Lan Wangji hugged him and turned him around, so from the outside, only his back could be seen, as well as an arm that Wei Wuxian had wrapped around his neck.

Seeing that his face was not red and that he was not breathing hard, Wei Wuxian reached out to touch it. As expected, it was burning hot. Lan Wangji grasped his restless hand and warned, “Wei Ying.”

Wei Wuxian said, “Isn’t it on your lap? What are you yelling for?”

“…”

Wei Wuxian solemnly said, “I’m sorry, I was too happy just now. Lan Zhan, how can you be so good at everything? Even cooking is so good!”

His praise was sincere. Lan Wangji had heard countless praises and compliments since he was a child, but none of them had made him feel this way now. He had to work so hard to suppress the corners of his mouth from rising, only saying faintly, “It’s not difficult.”

Wei Wuxian said, “No. It’s very difficult, you don’t know how many times I’ve been kicked out of the kitchen since I was little.”

“…” Lan Wangji asked, “Have you ever burned a hole through the bottom of a pot?”

Wei Wuxian said, “Just once. I forgot to add water, who knew the pot would catch fire. Don’t look at me like that, it was really just once.”

Lan Wangji said, “What did you put in the pot?”

Wei Wuxian thought for a while and smiled, “It was so many years ago, how can I still remember so clearly, don’t mention it again.”

Lan Wangji was noncommittal, but seemed to slightly raise an eyebrow. Wei Wuxian pretended not to notice his subtle expression. Suddenly remembering something, he slapped his hand in regret, “But why didn’t you tell me earlier that you made it? I was so stupid, I barely touched a mouthful of the food that night.”

Lan Wangji said, “It’s okay. I’ll make it again when we go back.”

Wei Wuxian had pestered him for so long, just for this one sentence. His eyebrows instantly danced, and even the soup didn’t feel so bad anymore.

After leaving the restaurant, the two strolled around for a while. Ahead, a commotion arose. Many people were gathered around an area filled with small objects, tossing small rings one by one onto the ground.

Wei Wuxian said, “This is good.” He pulled Lan Wangji and took three rings from a stall owner, saying, “Lan Zhan, have you ever played ring toss?”

Lan Wangji shook his head. Wei Wuxian said, “You haven’t even played this. I’ll tell you, it’s very simple. You take this ring, step back a little, and toss it onto the things on the ground. If you get it, it’s yours.”

Lan Wangji repeated, “If you get it, it’s mine.”

Wei Wuxian said, “That’s it. Which one do you want? I’ll get you whichever one you want.”

Lan Wangji said, “Anything.”

Wei Wuxian put his elbow on his shoulder and pulled on the end of his forehead ribbon, saying, “Hanguang-Jun is being so perfunctory with me, a bit disrespectful.”

Lan Wangji seriously said, “Whatever you get, I will take.”

Wei Wuxian was startled and said, “You, in public, how can you be like this?”

Lan Wangji was confused, “Like what?”

Wei Wuxian: “You’re flirting with me.”

Lan Wangji’s expression was calm and collected, “I’m not.”

Wei Wuxian: “You are! Okay, then I’ll toss it for you…that one, just that one!”

He was pointing at a large white ceramic turtle placed far away. He then stepped back a few paces. When he was about a zhang away, the stall owner called out, waving his hands, “Okay, okay!”

Wei Wuxian said, “No, no.”

The stall owner yelled, “Young master, you’re standing too far away. You won’t be able to get it like that, don’t try to blame me for swindling money!”

Wei Wuxian said, “If I don’t stand far away, you should be careful of losing everything!”

Everyone laughed, saying, “This young master is very confident!”

This little game, which seemed simple, was not easy for ordinary people to control because of the distance between the objects on the ground. But for cultivators, it was not worth mentioning at all. If he didn’t step back further, what fun would it be? Wei Wuxian stepped back a long way, and even turned his back to the stall, making the others laugh even louder. Who knew that in the next moment, Wei Wuxian would swing the ring in his hand, and with a flick of his wrist, it would land on the turtle’s shell, perfectly encircling its head.

The stall owner and everyone else were amazed. When Wei Wuxian looked back, he smiled broadly, and waved the remaining two rings in his hand to Lan Wangji, asking, “Want to try?”

Lan Wangji said, “Okay.”

He walked to Wei Wuxian’s side and said, “What do you want?”

There wouldn’t be any top-quality items at these roadside businesses; they were all small toys that were put together and looked decent from afar. The large ceramic turtle that Wei Wuxian just got was already the best-looking thing there. Wei Wuxian looked around, and the more he looked, the more he felt that they were all ugly, and that he didn’t want any of them. It was difficult to choose. Suddenly, he caught sight of an extremely ugly donkey cloth doll that was so ugly that it was impossible to ignore it at first glance. He happily said, “That one’s not bad, like Little Apple, come on, come on, just that one.”

Lan Wangji nodded and stepped back even further than Wei Wuxian, also turning around. The ring hit the target accurately.

The crowd cheered and clapped their hands wildly. Lan Wangji looked back at Wei Wuxian, who jumped into the stall laughing heartily, grabbed the donkey from the ground, tucked it under his arm, and clapped the loudest, saying, “Again, again!”

Lan Wangji still had one ring in his hand. He held it in his hand, lightly and steadily tossing it twice. This time, he took a long time before throwing it backward, and immediately turned around to check.

As soon as he threw it, there were “Oh no” sounds all around. It turned out that the ring had flown so far off that it didn’t even touch the side of the stall, yet it landed accurately on Wei Wuxian’s body, encircling him.

Wei Wuxian was first stunned, then couldn’t help but laugh. Although everyone thought it was a pity, they all started to comfort him: “Not bad!” “Yes, you got a few!” “Very impressive!”

The stall owner was very happy. He rolled his eyes, breathed a sigh of relief, jumped up and gave a thumbs up, “Yes, you are amazing. What the young master said is the truth; if I let you play a few more times, I would lose everything!”

Wei Wuxian smiled, “Alright, I know you don’t dare let us play anymore, and we’ve had enough fun too, haven’t we? Lan Zhan, let’s go, let’s go.”

The stall owner happily said, “Take care.”

It wasn’t until the two were walking side-by-side and had disappeared into the bustling crowd that he suddenly remembered: “The third ring! They didn’t give it back to me!!”

Wei Wuxian, with the turtle in his left arm and the donkey in his right, walked for a while and said, “Lan Zhan, why didn’t I realize before that you had so many little thoughts?”

Lan Wangji took the heavy ceramic turtle from his hand. Wei Wuxian took the ring off his own neck and put it on his head, saying, “Don’t pretend you don’t understand what I’m saying. I know you did it on purpose.”

Lan Wangji supported the large ceramic turtle with one hand, saying, “Where should this be placed when we go back?”

Wei Wuxian was actually stumped by his question.

This turtle was big and heavy, and the craftsmanship was really not good; it had a head like it had been born stupid, barely coming across as simple and honest. But when Wei Wuxian looked closely, he found that the craftsman was very careless. The pair of green bean eyes looked like they were crossed. In short, no matter how you looked at it, it was out of place with Cloud Recesses. Where to put it was really a problem.

Wei Wuxian thought for a while and said, “The Jingshi?”

As soon as he said it, he immediately shook his head, denying himself, “The Jingshi is only suitable for playing the zither and burning incense, a place for calm and peace where the sandalwood smoke curls up. Putting such a big turtle there is too ugly.”

Lan Wangji, hearing him say that the Jingshi was a “place for calm and peace suitable for only playing the zither and burning incense”, looked at him, seeming as if he wanted to say something but stopped himself.

Wei Wuxian continued, “But if we don’t put it in the Jingshi, and put it somewhere else in Cloud Recesses, it will definitely be thrown out immediately, right?”

Lan Wangji nodded silently.

Wei Wuxian struggled for a long time, and was too embarrassed to say, “Let’s secretly put it in your uncle’s room and don’t say that we did it.” He then slapped his thigh, saying, “I’ve got it! Let’s put it in the Lan Sect’s study room.”

Lan Wangji thought for a moment and asked, “Why the Lan Sect study room?”

Wei Wuxian said, “You wouldn’t understand this. If you put it there, when you teach Sizhui and Jingyi, if they ask, you can tell them that this big turtle was specially made to commemorate when you slayed the Tortoise of Slaughter. It was custom-made by an unrestrained craftsman who is only seen when the dragon does not. It contains a great and profound meaning, which aims to encourage the disciples of your Gusu Lan Sect to look up to their predecessors, learn from their heroic spirit, and strive to do even better. Although the Tortoise of Slaughter is no more, there must be something like the Vermillion Bird of Slaughter, the White Tiger of Slaughter, and the Azure Dragon of Slaughter waiting for them in the future. They must do something that surpasses their predecessors and is earth-shattering.”

“…”

“How about it?”

After a long while, Lan Wangji said, “Very good.”

Therefore, after a few days, when Lan Sizhui, Lan Jingyi, and others were receiving guidance from Hanguang-Jun, they would look up and see a large ceramic turtle, crudely crafted and with a vacant gaze, lying on the desk behind Lan Wangji.

And because of some inexplicable deterrence, no one dared to ask why it was there. This is a story for later, and we won’t mention it now…

Putting the spoils of their victory into their Qiankun sleeves, the two successfully retired.

Before coming, Wei Wuxian had described the beauty of the vast lotus lakes of Yunmeng for a long time to Lan Wangji, so naturally he had to drag him to travel on the lake. He wanted to get a pleasure boat to indulge a little, but after looking for a long time, only an extremely small wooden boat was moored by the lake, floating on the water, looking as if someone could lightly step on it and it would sink into the water, seemingly not stable. It seemed a bit difficult to fit two big men, but there was no other choice.

Wei Wuxian said, “You sit on this end, and I’ll sit on that end, sit firmly and don’t move around, if you’re not careful, the boat will capsize.”

Lan Wangji said, “It doesn’t matter, if you fall into the water, I’ll save you.”

Wei Wuxian said, “The way you say it makes it sound like I can’t swim.”

The small boat brushed past the large, plump lotus flowers, each one a full pink. Wei Wuxian lay on the boat, using his arms as a pillow. Because the boat was too small, his legs were almost on Lan Wangji. Lan Wangji said nothing about this kind of unrestrained and impolite behavior.

The lake breeze was gentle, and the water flowed silently. Wei Wuxian said, “This is the season when lotus flowers bloom. It’s a pity that the lotus pods aren’t ripe yet, otherwise I could take you to pick some lotus pods.”

Lan Wangji said, “We can come again.”

Wei Wuxian said, “Yes! We can come again.”

After casually shaking the paddle a few times, Wei Wuxian stared blankly at one place for a while and said, “There used to be an old man who grew lotus pods around here, but he seems to be gone now.”

Lan Wangji said, “En.”

Wei Wuxian said, “He was very old when I was little. Now, more than ten years have passed. If he hasn’t passed away, I’m afraid he would be too old to walk and come out on the boat.”

He turned his face to Lan Wangji and said, “Back then, when I was persuading you to go to Lotus Pier in Cloud Recesses, I really wanted to ask you to go and steal lotus pods with me. Do you know why?”

To Wei Wuxian, Lan Wangji always answered all questions and fulfilled all requests. He seriously said, “I don’t know. Why?”

Wei Wuxian blinked his left eye at him, and smiled, saying, “Because that old man was really good at hitting people with his bamboo pole, and getting hit with it was more painful than your family’s discipline ruler. Back then, I wanted to trick Lan Zhan into coming over and make him get hit a few times too.”

Hearing this, Lan Wangji smiled slightly. The cold moonlight of the lake seemed to melt into his smile.

In that instant, Wei Wuxian felt a dizzying sensation. Involuntarily, the smile also spread to his face.

He said, “Okay, I admit…”

Amidst the spinning sky and earth, there was a loud splash. Water splashed several feet high, and the boat, capsized.

Wei Wuxian came up from the water, wiped his face, and said, “I told you to sit still and don’t move around; if you’re not careful, the boat will capsize!”

Lan Wangji swam over. Wei Wuxian, seeing that he was still so calm even after falling into the water, laughed so hard that he almost gulped down a few mouthfuls of water, “Who was it that moved over first? How did it end up like this!”

Lan Wangji said, “I don’t know. Maybe it was me.”

Wei Wuxian said, “Okay, maybe it was me too!”

The two of them laughed in the water, grabbing each other, forcefully pulling each other closer, and kissing each other.

After their lips parted, Wei Wuxian raised his hand, continuing from where he left off, saying, “I admit that I was talking nonsense just now. At that time, I just wanted to play with you.”

Lan Wangji supported him from behind, and Wei Wuxian got back on the boat. He turned around and reached out a hand to grab him, saying, “So, you should also honestly confess too, Lan Zhan.”

Lan Wangji also got on the boat and handed him a section of red rope, asking, “Confess what?”

Wei Wuxian bit the section of red rope, and used both hands to tie his loose black hair back up again. He said, “Confess whether you thought the same as me.” He said sternly, “Do you know that every time you coldly refused me back then, I really lost a lot of face?”

Lan Wangji said, “You can try it now and see if I will refuse you anything.”

His unexpected words struck Wei Wuxian’s heart. He was speechless. Lan Wangji, however, remained calm and natural, as if he had not realized what he had just said. Wei Wuxian rubbed his forehead, and said, “You…Hanguang-Jun, let’s talk about this; could you please give me a heads-up before you say sweet words, otherwise I won’t be able to handle it.”

Lan Wangji nodded, saying, “Okay.”

Wei Wuxian said, “Lan Zhan, you are!”

There were thousands of words unspoken; there were only laughter and hugs.

The author has something to say: Due to some well-known reasons, I put the side stories on JJ first. I’ll explain a little bit.

The two chapters “Seizing the Door” and “Iron Hook” were originally short stories that I conceived in college. Their original names were “Fierce Ghost Enters the Door” and “Tongue Pulling” (.). I had a rough idea for the ghost stories, but no matter how much I revised them, I was never satisfied and felt they were strange, so I shelved them. But I felt it was a pity not to use the ideas that I had, so I wouldn’t give up and brought them out again. After a drastic reorganization, I finally made good use of them.

“Seizing the Door” is a short night hunt note written after Wangxian had gone into seclusion. It’s a relaxing and pleasant daily life of fighting little monsters, earning retirement money, and raising a child on the side.

“Iron Hook” is a night hunt lesson taught by the Yiling Patriarch, bringing along the child. The writing process was even more difficult, and the ghost part was revised more than ten times. But I have a problem: I always have places that I want to revise when I look back at my own writing. I’m still itching to do it, but time waits for no one, so everyone just has to put up with it.

I still quite like these 10,000 to 20,000 word short ghost stories.

“Lotus Pod” was originally intended to be a cool summer ghost-catching story for the children of Cloud Recesses and Lotus Pier, but it ended up being a warm rural daily life (?). In short, although the younger WiFi failed to successfully trick Second Brother into returning to Lotus Pier to eat, drink, and have fun, the two young boys, Wangxian, still completed a spiritual exchange through their intentional or unintentional mutual recollection!

The original intention of “Yunmeng” was this: After WiFi was sent back to Lotus Pier after causing trouble in Cloud Recesses, Second Young Master Lan had a dream. He dreamt that he and WiFi were in Yunmeng together, where WiFi treated him to all kinds of snacks and lotus pods. Of course, he did not go at the time, but he finally ended up going after growing up.

Therefore, the meaning of this title is actually “A Dream in Cloud Recesses, a Beautiful Dream Come True.”

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