MCDWTBS Chapter 52
by VolareIn the following days, Edwin spent almost all his time in a drowsy stupor. Occasionally, fleeting flashbacks would send him into uncontrollable spasms, but ample male insectoid pheromones and mental energy slightly alleviated the pain.
It was cruel to say, but the female insectoid body was like an instrument controlled by pheromones and mental energy. His pain and reshaping were real, and the male insectoid’s pheromones broke the original balance, damaging his body to some extent. However, his mind and body craved more.
Serra’s pheromones could not cure Edwin’s pain, nor could they instantly heal his injured body. Instead, they clouded Edwin’s senses, giving his female insectoid instincts great satisfaction, thereby ignoring the body’s pain.
In extreme self-loathing, Edwin occasionally fell into a nihilistic mood. He wasn’t sure if he could be considered alive if his body and spirit, his likes and dislikes, and his senses were all controlled by the male insectoid. Did his life still have meaning? In his long future days, could he recreate the glory on the battlefield? That was almost the only thing he was proud of.
These thoughts gnawed at Edwin’s heart for a long time. During many long pains, in sleepless nights where he couldn’t stay awake, he was curled up next to the medical bay, holding a hand by the distressed male insectoid, his gaze blankly falling on the starry dome—the faint and hazy starlight came from the starry sky lamp that the male insectoid made for him, placed on the bedside of the medical bay. The light yellow dots were embellished on the light purple background. The reddish-pink nebula swirled like a fish’s tail, swaying and shining. It was the battlefield of Edwin’s countless midnight dreams, and also the place where his biological male parent spent his youth.
The male insectoid’s hand was warm and dry, circling Edwin’s fingers just right, without any blasphemy or transgression, only restraint and love, warming Edwin’s stiff and cold fingers.
Edwin sighed silently, emerging from the repressed pool of nihilism.
Serra—after everything, Edwin actually knew in his heart that his young one might never return to his side, but his soul was too stubborn to compromise.
He knew that if he had any self-respect, he should leave Serra immediately after being marked, and never face this male insectoid who marked him, so as to preserve all the beautiful memories he had of that chubby, soft, curly-haired young one, ensuring that those memories would last forever and never be covered by obscure and difficult-to-understand regrets.
How much he needed that young one, even if it could only remain in his memory, it would be enough for him to face every moment of dawn and dusk in the future.
He could do it. His newly created body was completely marked, his lifespan was extended, and his abilities would return to their peak. Perhaps in the future, his mental sea would be depleted due to his desire for the caress of the male insectoid who marked him, but Edwin knew himself. He knew that with this mark alone, he could last long enough, long enough to face his life that was too long for a high-level female insectoid.
But… the male insectoid in front of him made everything incomparably complicated and difficult.
The male insectoid’s breathing was very shallow. His dark tentacles lurked in the darkness, densely filling the void, creating a soft and obedient safe space around Edwin, as if building a warm nest.
The male insectoid’s body was slender. His body was still not completely relaxed during his short slumber. He leaned against the furniture next to the medical bay, one hand on his refined lower abdomen, and the other stretched into the blanket, loosely holding Edwin’s fingers. One of his long legs was bent to support his balance, and his back was straight even in his sleep, like a young leopard lurking in a tree branch, his refined and firm muscle groups slowly rising and falling with his breath, ready to be startled into action at any time.
His complexion was a little darker than when he was a young one. His slender and dense dark brown eyelashes piled up under his eyes, adding an innocent quality to his handsome and immature face, and also awakening Edwin’s memory of the young one.
Edwin was no longer confused about the identity of the male insectoid in front of him. He knew that was his young one. When he opened his eyes, those caramel-colored, slightly drooping pupils would instantly crush all of Edwin’s defenses. That gaze was a shackle more difficult to get rid of than the control of the male insectoid pheromones.
Sighing lightly again, the dark-haired female insectoid closed his eyes silently. His senses were still very slow and primitive, and his body control was better than nothing, but he ridiculously believed that he was in the safest nest.
Serra was by his side, and he couldn’t let go of his hand. Perhaps this was the end, regardless of Edwin’s original life, Serra… and the “love” that was difficult for him to understand, became something new that continued Edwin’s life.
He had to recover as soon as possible to ensure that his young one was safe and sound. He must never experience the feeling of his young one dying in front of him again. He didn’t think he could bear it.
*
Serra could feel that Edwin’s condition was slowly improving. In contrast, the female insectoid became as taciturn as when they first met, seeming to still feel uncomfortable with Serra’s presence.
Serra could understand, he really could. No one would want to be in the same room with a creature that had forced and hurt them, still without any grudges. But being distanced by his beloved female insectoid inevitably made him feel sad.
He hid his sadness well with gentle words and smiles, thinking that the cold reception he received was deserved. After Edwin’s condition stabilized, he and Clisson, who had just arrived at Duke Noah’s resource planet, analyzed the body data during Edwin’s marking and recovery process, trying to get some inspiration for insectoid gender research in the case of a single sample.
Because Edwin’s situation was very special, and Serra’s male insectoid development and his abilities were not considered mediocre, their research was not representative, but it was also a milestone starting point for related research. Many of Edwin’s emotional reactions and physical recovery processes were still connected to those of female insectoids and sub-males, and he was the first female insectoid to have his emotions monitored during the “period of shame.”
Serra had been recording his observation reports on Edwin’s recovery process, which were more like a diary of him and Edwin than scientific research. There were countless times when he shed tears while writing these records, wishing he could share the pain Edwin was suffering. But he still insisted on writing it down and, with Edwin’s permission, posted it on the hand-ring network, distributed by the system for female insectoids and sub-males to watch, so that they could spread even one-sided and sporadic experiences.
[Day 1 of being marked: Severe pain leads to somatization symptoms, impaired senses, memory loss, and severe panic response when approached.]
[Day 2 of being marked: Consumed food, senses still impaired, memory slightly recovered, emotions fluctuate greatly, unable to perform analytical thinking, instinctive reactions to past experiences still exist.]
[…]
[Day * of being marked: Normal diet, energy circulation has not yet recovered, limb pain has decreased, emotions tend to be stable. (Confirmed: Appropriate exposure to specific male insectoid pheromones is beneficial for relieving emotions)]
…
Serra posted these observation records using his original account. This account had once triggered the first phenomenal discussion among female insectoids and sub-males. He, as a young one, described the predicament of his male parent falling into pheromone deficiency, which triggered countless responses of agreement or criticism.
All the insectoids who swiped that post assumed that Serra was a young female insectoid or sub-male who was overly dependent on his male parent, and the pain of his male parent gave rise to rebellious and authority-challenging thoughts. Most of the replies advised him to behave properly, warned him not to have illusions about things he could not resist, and not to challenge the arrangements of the Mother Goddess and the rule of the male insectoids.
Only a few replies agreed with the rebellion of the young one, and most of the agreement and understanding came from female insectoids and sub-males who refused to bow to fate, as well as young insectoids.
Now, female insectoids and sub-males swiped this [Observation Record of the Recovery Process of Female Insectoid after being Marked]. Many of them recognized that the poster was the rebellious young one, and immediately associated it with the fact that the young one’s male parent was probably fortunate enough to be given a mark by his male master before his death.
Some of them breathed a sigh of relief for the young one’s male parent and sincerely replied with blessings:
[The young one’s male parent has been saved? Thank the Mother Goddess, thank the generous male insectoid! He must have a kind male master who is willing to touch a military female who has lost her charm due to illness! Seriously, any male master who takes in a military female is extremely kind, knowing that they lack delicate and exquisite beauty. Not all male insectoids are willing to suffer such grievances.]
[This military female is so lucky! I don’t know what his male master saw in him. He’s so sick and has such a disobedient burden young one! I really want his male master to see what terrible remarks his young one is posting. I think that male insectoid will be very angry!]
[This is a good thing. I hope the poster will not continue to do any research that violates the gods! Pheromone deficiency has existed since the birth of female insectoids and sub-males. Can we still go against the heavens? This is the fate of female insectoids and sub-males. Although you are young, you must accept it! Your male parent accepted it, and then waited for the generous gift from the male insectoid, didn’t he? For the sake of your male parent, you should not make trouble anymore. It’s all his fault for not teaching you well.]
[The above is right. Why is the poster still posting this post? The period of shame after a female insectoid is marked is an inelegant period, which our male parents avoid talking about. How can you post your male parent’s reaction on the hand-ring network? This is something to be ashamed of, even if it is proof of being favored by the male insectoid. Female insectoids and sub-males must be careful in their words and deeds in order to obtain the key to the Hall of Glory.]
[…]
Countless follow-up posts were filled with envy for Edwin’s marked situation, admonishing Serra to be careful in his words and deeds, or showing understanding for the male insectoid. Almost no female insectoids or sub-males really understood the significance of Serra’s posting these observation records, only blindly envying Edwin’s situation. They thought that Edwin must have an extremely tolerant and kind male master, and he could even eat food during the period of shame, which was a treatment that only male insectoids and extremely favored female insectoids and sub-males could enjoy!
Before long, a few sporadic replies appeared under the post, expressing blessings to the young one and his male parent, instead of paying attention to the male insectoid who marked the male parent. One of the replies even asked:
[Bless you, poster. Your male parent probably doesn’t need to be troubled by pheromone deficiency anymore. He is luckier than most female insectoids and sub-males. Will the poster give up his research?]
This reply was quickly covered by endless posts, and many devout female insectoids and sub-males even argued fiercely with him for his inappropriate remarks of “instigating female insectoid young ones to embark on a path of no return.”
When Serra had time to update his observation records and read these replies, more than a day had passed.
To be honest, Serra was not surprised that these outdated replies were nurtured in the insectoid’s long-standing training and social environment. To put it a step back, being saved from a near-death state by a male insectoid’s mark could be considered a miracle of resurrection even in ancient Earth. The inequality between female insectoids, sub-males, and male insectoids was engraved in their DNA, and it was normal for most female insectoids and sub-males to be unable to change their views.
It was understandable in reason, but it didn’t mean that Serra wouldn’t stand on Edwin’s side and feel unworthy and unfair for his male parent.
Why? Edwin did everything he could, dedicating his life and honor to the insectoid race and the empire. He resisted until his death, refusing to give up his dignity and wag his tail and beg for mercy. His courage and persistence were not respected. The mark that was conceived in his pain was praised by his compatriots.
Almost all insectoids would only think that Edwin was lucky, and that his male master was kind. But the suffering Edwin suffered, his shame, and his shattered dignity were ignored and devalued.
Serra felt the angry fire of grief slowly flowing under his skin. He felt unworthy for Edwin, and he felt unworthy for those female insectoids and sub-males who were still living and dying for a bit of dignity. It took him a while to calm down, so as not to cause the sleeping female insectoid beside him to feel uneasy due to the influence of his pheromones.
He waved his hand to summon the hand-ring network page and replied to the only post that asked him if he would give up his research:
[re [Bless you, poster. Your male parent probably doesn’t need to be troubled by pheromone deficiency anymore. He is luckier than most female insectoids and sub-males. Will the poster give up his research?]:
Thank you for the blessing. Yes, my male parent is not disturbed by pheromone deficiency, but this does not mean that my research will end. There are hundreds of millions of female insectoids and sub-males who are still threatened by pheromone deficiency, and my male parent once served to death in the army, protecting his compatriots and this civilization. I will follow in his footsteps and never give up the lives of my compatriots or despise the suffering of my compatriots.
And everything my male parent is suffering now has also made me realize how powerful the male insectoid’s control over female insectoids and sub-males is. This is an injustice that violates the laws of life. I will do everything I can to break the male insectoid’s absolute control during my lifetime, and on the premise of ensuring my male parent’s life and health, help him get rid of the male insectoid’s influence and return him to freedom and to himself.
I will never give up.]