MCDWTBS Chapter 50
by VolareSerra instantly woke up, slowly retreating and distancing himself from the dark-haired female insectoid, trying to restore some control and sense of security for her. He felt her attention following his every move, as if wary of potential harm.
This made Serra’s heart ache. Edwin’s breathing was quiet; the male insectoid’s power had repaired most of his wounds, but that didn’t mean the pain and fear of invasion had lessened in the slightest. The male insectoid’s genes, pheromones, and energy were still coursing through his body, leaving him lost and helpless without autonomy.
“Don’t be afraid, Edwin… Male Parent, you—”
“Male Master.”
Edwin suddenly spoke, his expression losing some of its confusion, but his gaze was still scattered, clearly still affected by the reshaping of his body. He seemed to finally realize the source of his physical pain; he remembered the fact that he had been marked by a male insectoid, and he also knew that the unfamiliar male insectoid in front of him, who was washing over his body with pheromones, could only be the “Male Master” of this body.
“Thank you for your generous marking,” the dark-haired female insectoid said, but his flawless yet pale face, like plaster, expressed the complete opposite:
“If you don’t mind, my condition isn’t stable, and I might hurt you. Please allow me to leave.”
The female insectoid’s voice was very calm, and he had successfully suppressed all emotions in it. If Serra didn’t know him better, he might have been deceived by his calm and composed appearance, unable to see his barely restrained painful reaction and the slight trembling of his fingers.
Serra choked back tears and said softly, “Male Parent, it’s Serra, don’t you remember me? I finished my cocooning and transformation. You protected me, remember? I—I did something wrong. I marked you, made you feel uneasy and in pain, it’s all my fault… But don’t be afraid, okay? It’s always been me, it’s always only been me, Male Parent.”
Edwin’s face was blank, his pupils trembling slightly. Serra didn’t know how much he had understood, only feeling the female insectoid’s body starting to spasm in front of him. Serra’s heart ached. His mental tendrils rolled anxiously and worriedly, piling up carefully and pitifully around the female insectoid, but not daring to touch or restrain her body. Serra gently took one of her hands, wanting to guide her to caress his face and curly hair, hoping that there was still something familiar to Edwin in his current youthful appearance.
“Male Parent, look, my hair is still curly, brown, just like when I was a baby.”
He pulled at the female insectoid’s trembling fingers, using all his skills to try to help her find a trace of peace of mind. However, the female insectoid’s trembling didn’t stop. With a gasp that intensified, Edwin pulled his hand away, his body curling up slightly in spasms, his fingers groping toward the almost-healed wound on his abdomen:
“No… impossible,” Edwin murmured to himself, the suppressed fear and pain piercing through his calm facade and breaking free. His face still maintained an almost peaceful expression, seemingly unmoved by what he feared, but Serra knew that it was just a disguise etched into his bones, his unyielding pride as a military female insectoid, which never allowed him to show fear in front of the enemy, to increase the enemy’s pleasure in abuse.
“Not… not a baby,” the dark-haired female insectoid stubbornly said, his pale face almost numb with calmness. His fingers once again stabbed into the newly healed pink flesh of his abdomen, seemingly wanting to use pain to gain more clarity, but Serra couldn’t care about anything else, grabbing his hand in horror.
“Male Parent! I beg you, I hurt you. Don’t hurt yourself anymore! It’s all my fault, I’m really sorry, I beg you…”
Serra almost helplessly hugged Edwin’s body, his tendrils enveloping both of them, and Serra’s trembling tears finally fell. He understood what was happening. Edwin had regained a little consciousness, and he knew that he had been marked by a male insectoid.
A female insectoid being marked by a male insectoid represented many changes. Besides the continuation of life for advanced female insectoids, it also meant complete and utter submission to the will of another male insectoid.
Edwin couldn’t possibly like such a change, but he accepted the reality. The fate of female insectoids and Sub-male insectoids was mostly out of their control. They were gifted with unspeakable suffering and misfortune, and all they could do was deal with it in the most dignified way. So even though Edwin knew that his wishes had been violated and his body had been violated, he chose to hide the pain with calmness, hiding his fear of the male insectoid who had marked him and his own pain.
In a state of clouded consciousness, depleted will, and physical pain, Edwin still carefully maintained what little dignity he had left.
But he could endure being invaded and controlled by a strange male insectoid, but he couldn’t bear the one who did all this to him was his Male Chong cub.
He couldn’t bear the blade that stabbed him in the back from his closest Chong cub.
“I’m sorry… I’m sorry…” Serra didn’t know what else he could say, and he didn’t really have anything to explain. His marking, his unspeakable satisfaction, even if hidden behind the high-sounding name of salvation, was an unforgivable original sin. He knew this very well. He should have known more, should have done more, but he still hurt his beloved female insectoid:
“It was me, I made a mistake. Male Parent, punish me. You hate me, it’s all I deserve! There’s never been another male insectoid, there’s never been any Male Master, it’s just me, Male Parent… don’t hurt yourself anymore, please.”
Serra panicked, and the arms that hugged Edwin began to tremble, while Edwin remained stiff in his arms. As if written in the genes of the insectoid race as a curse, after being marked by Serra, Edwin would never be able to harm or resist his male insectoid, nor would he ever be able to leave Serra’s pheromones, until death gave him freedom again.
The dark-haired female insectoid stared blankly at the ceiling, darkness eroding his vision, and strange and bizarre images flashed before his eyes.
He knew that he had been marked. There was no part of his body that felt whole. Everything was unfamiliar, as if his soul had been put into a doll that was incompatible with him. He vaguely remembered what had happened before, but he preferred not to think about it.
He wanted to be alone for a while, to let the pain and the awareness of being tainted fully immerse his soul, to let him learn to bear the new cage, to continue breathing and enduring the pain. He needed some time to get through his humiliation period, to deal with his endless self-loathing and his undisguised true emotions.
He needed these, but he couldn’t get this kind of leniency from the male insectoid beside him.
What he couldn’t bear even more was that he felt his body melting in the male insectoid’s arms, as if he was born to fit into the male insectoid’s chest, tasting the love given by the male insectoid. The pain, the chaotic thoughts, and his endless self-flagellation all seemed to fall apart in the male insectoid’s arms. He felt a false sense of comfort and security, which was his body and spirit betraying his soul.
He felt disgusted.
This male insectoid… could never be his Chong cub, never.
His Chong cub couldn’t mark him, couldn’t treat him this way. Serra called him Male Parent, didn’t he? Could it be… could it be that Serra’s affection for him and the love he spoke of were not real?
Edwin’s pupils trembled slightly, and the heartache hidden beneath his calm face didn’t stop. A bloody taste filled his mouth.
He couldn’t bear to lose the affection of his Chong cub, just as he couldn’t bear to lose his Chong cub. Edwin had always known that he had pitifully little, and because of his uselessness, he had barely kept anything. The fates of female insectoids and Sub-male insectoids were mostly similar, starting with his male father, then Marshal Ax, who guided him and helped him, and then one or two friends arranged by fate, and then the military exploits and medals that he relied on to survive and that he was proud of.
Later, he had almost nothing, and naturally he lost any motivation to live. His choice at the time to provoke the male master’s authority for the sake of Sison’s son Ilia was not only out of his gratitude to Sison and his pity for Ilia, but also because he didn’t care whether he could survive that night. He didn’t care.
But fate always loved to joke around. Young Male Master suddenly broke into his life and almost became the entire meaning of his survival.
Losing his Chong cub… was his deepest nightmare, the consequence he couldn’t bear. Being marked by a male insectoid had ruined everything, and he could no longer hug that soft, cute male insectoid cub. And if what that voice said was true, the Chong cub had marked him… he would forever lose that pure emotion that the Chong cub had for him, lose his identity as Male Parent, and perhaps in the near future, become a stumbling block that the Chong cub would be criticized for.
Death was no worse than this.
A crystal tear slipped from the corner of Edwin’s eye, and Serra stopped breathing in almost horror, slowly releasing his arms.
He realized that his behavior, to a female insectoid who couldn’t resist him, was no different from coercion. His cheap hugs and unrepentant nonsense were just cruel mockery of the female insectoid’s already-destined fate, so vulgar and shameful.
His ears burned with shame, almost making him feel a stinging pain. He gently stepped back, giving the female insectoid more room to breathe and more autonomy, but still held the female insectoid’s fingers without letting go.
He couldn’t bear for Edwin to continue hurting himself, and his selfishness simply couldn’t let go of Edwin’s hand. His eyes welled with tears, barely blinking away the tears that stung his eyes, and he gently knelt in front of the female insectoid who was lying on his back in the medical bay, gently pressing his forehead against the female insectoid’s cold knuckles.
“Male Parent, I’m sorry, but it really was me who did it… You know I can never bear for another male insectoid—any male insectoid—to do this to you, including myself. I’m really, really sorry. I’ve never been a good Chong cub. I… I’m not as innocent as I look. I have a lot of dirty little thoughts that even you wouldn’t forgive, which led me to do something irreversible. I’m not qualified to say that I regret it, but Male Parent, give me another chance, okay? I’ll only be your Chong cub. I’m not anything else, I beg you, Male Parent, don’t hurt yourself because of my mistakes…”
“You still want a Chong cub, right, Male Parent? I’ll always be there, I’ll always only be your Chong cub, okay? I know you feel terrible right now, and the male insectoid pheromones make you confused, but these feelings will pass. Whatever you need, I’ll do it all. I’ll still call you Male Parent like before, as long as you… as long as you’re okay, okay?”
Serra finished speaking softly, not expecting any response, but every promise he made came from his heart. He knew that he had to stop his selfish behavior and give Edwin more space. Edwin only treated him as a Chong cub, which was understandable. No adult female insectoid or Sub-male insectoid would have thoughts beyond “cute” for a four-headed fat cub, and he had also used his physical appearance to induce Edwin to have maternal love for him, which was unfair.
He didn’t know if Edwin’s feelings for “Serra” would undergo a qualitative change. Obviously, this forced marking had cast a shadow over everything. Edwin had no reason to have any good feelings for an aggressor, for someone who controlled his body and spirit, and everything Serra was doing now, even a simple hug, was creating an exploitative relationship because of their unequal status.
Perhaps Edwin would never truly accept Serra as his male insectoid, but that was what Serra deserved. He wouldn’t make forced moves. He accepted all the consequences and his belated judgment.
—As long as Edwin was well.
The male insectoid took a deep breath, calming his trembling breathing, but his sobbing still faintly pierced through his voice, almost breaking apart. It was half heartache and half shame that he actually had the face to sound so painful, when Edwin was the one who had suffered the harm.
The fingers of Edwin, lightly gathered in his hands, curled up slightly, which was almost the only reaction of the female insectoid. The room was empty and quiet, except for the female insectoid’s intermittent breathing, enduring the pain, and Serra’s sobbing trembling was clearly audible. His damned newly created body was no better than that tearful Chong cub body. He was still tearful enough to be laughable. The teenager, who almost had the outline of an adult male insectoid, looked both pitiful and ridiculous when he cried, completely lacking the small appearance that made adult insectoids couldn’t help but feel heartbroken when a young cub cried.
However, after an unknown amount of time, the dark-haired female insectoid lying in the medical bay still opened his mouth softly, his voice hoarse and vague.
“…Young Male Master, don’t cry.”
The male insectoid trembled at this sudden voice, almost falling over. The female insectoid’s hand was withdrawn from his hand, and after a long while, it hesitated and slowly landed on the curly hair on his head.
“…Just be Young Male Master, okay?”
The female insectoid’s voice was very weak, almost inaudible. His fingers that fell on the top of the male insectoid’s head were trembling and stiff, but they were very light and slow, carrying his unique clean aura of metallic copper.
Serra was stunned for a moment, then suddenly swallowed a “woof”-like cry back into his stomach. He almost piously held the female insectoid’s hand back, cherishingly clenching it in his palm, knowing that he had been granted the most precious forgiveness.
His soft-hearted Edwin… his blindly tolerant Male Parent.
He carefully placed small and pious kisses on Edwin’s fingertips, as light as the fluff under a bird’s wing.
“Don’t cry, I’ll listen to Male Parent in everything, I’m the most obedient,” he said haltingly, and more tears fell on the back of Edwin’s hand, and he knew that this made Edwin’s heart soften. The dark-haired female insectoid might never learn to calmly face the crying of a young cub.
“I… Male Parent must be hungry, I’ll go prepare food for Male Parent, I’ll go… I’ll go get energy fluid for Male Parent, I—”
The young male insectoid stood up, almost blindly rampaging through the suite, like a golden retriever who had finally been patted on the head by his master, eagerly showing his love and loyalty to his master. His group of black tendrils danced wildly, as hot and restless as boiling water, carefully and eagerly sticking to the female insectoid’s skin, fighting each other, vying for the female insectoid’s possible caress.
Serra put everything he could find that could be used—energy fluid, water, medicinal spray, and nutrient injection—on the cabinet next to the medical bay, then rushed into the small kitchen on the opposite side of the suite, wielding knives and pots with more than a dozen tendrils, and began to prepare meals. He was so excited that he almost forgot himself, until the mental tendrils he left beside the female insectoid conveyed the female insectoid’s soft groans of pain.