MCDWTBS Chapter 48
by VolareThis was all wrong.
Serra raised a hand to cover the lower half of his face, swallowing back his bitter breath. Looking at Edwin’s confused and gentle face, guilt and heartbreak tore at his chest.
What Edwin wanted was that curly-haired male insectoid pup. Even if that pup was incompetent and obese, even if that pup had forever lost the chance to save Edwin from Pheromone Deficiency Syndrome, in Edwin’s heart, nothing was more important than that curly-haired pup.
He thought of that pup until his death, even in the most painful times, still baring his soft chest to the pup, drawing warmth from his whole body, and offering protection he fundamentally couldn’t provide.
And as much as Edwin loved the former pup, he would hate the adult male insectoid who had replaced the pup, captured him, invaded him, ignored his cries, and completely tainted him.
Serra didn’t dare to touch Edwin. He vaguely remembered that when he had tried to hold Edwin’s hand earlier, it had caused the two insects’ pheromones to merge again, causing Edwin to scream and shake him off. Edwin’s current body was a huge furnace. The powerful energy and pheromones poured in by the male insectoid wandered in his shell, and his genes were being reshaped. This process was extremely painful, shattering his consciousness into a chaotic mess.
Serra wanted to help. He was willing to do anything to take Edwin’s pain. His male insectoid instincts clamored for him to get closer to Edwin, to further paralyze Edwin’s body and mind with male insectoid pheromones, to make Edwin quickly surrender to his new, irresistible master, to make him stop his futile resistance and escape, and to bow down to the invading power.
But he could see the fear in Edwin’s eyes, could see the lingering terror that, even hidden behind the tenderness instinctively shown to the pup, still couldn’t escape. He knew that the forces in Edwin’s body were at odds with each other. Edwin was too tenacious, so much so that even under the overwhelming power of the male insectoid who had marked him, his broken and remaining will was still unwilling to show the slightest weakness.
Edwin was still resisting, even though it would ultimately lead to nothing, even if it was just his changing body and mind fighting against it, which would only make the process more painful and lengthy, a part of him was still stubbornly refusing to accept the fate of being marked and tainted.
“Male parent…” The male insectoid swallowed painfully, his Adam’s apple bobbing as the lump in his throat, formed by pain and crying, throbbed:
“Male parent, I’m right here, we’re safe, okay? I… I hurt you just now. I know you’re angry, and it hurts a lot. I’m afraid that if I hug you, it will make you uncomfortable.”
He said almost cautiously, his caramel-colored eyes stained with a layer of thin tears. Insect Mother above, how much he wanted to hug Edwin, how much he wanted to protect Edwin under his body, away from all pain and humiliation. How much he wanted…
But he didn’t deserve these things. Edwin regarded him as a pup, which was the only reason Edwin treated him gently. Once he lost this false identity, he would no longer be qualified… He couldn’t continue to parade around as a pup when Edwin was at his most vulnerable, even… even if this might be his only chance to get close to Edwin.
He didn’t know if Edwin had really heard his words, he didn’t even know if Edwin’s current state could hear any complete sentences. He could only see that Edwin’s arms, reaching out to the “pup,” began to tremble slightly after not receiving a response. The bloodless, gentle face also began to tremble, and in the pair of watery blue eyes that had lost focus, fear gradually pierced through his feigned certainty and spread out.
“…Young Male Master…?” His bloodless lips trembled, his voice almost muffled and broken: “Did I do something wrong… why…”
His clear pupils began to tremble finely, seemingly swayed by the surging tears. A wave of pain struck him, shattering his calm expression, but he didn’t utter a single sound of pain, as if endurance had become an instinct.
“…I’m sorry…” he muttered, his broken and scattered gaze still fixed on the “pup” who refused to respond to his embrace. His arms slowly lowered, as if accepting the fact that he wouldn’t get a response, but he was still tracing the pup’s appearance with his gaze.
He was confused, disoriented, dazed, and in great pain, but he still loved the male insectoid pup selflessly, even if he didn’t get a hug in return, and this almost tore Serra’s heart to pieces.
Serra vaguely remembered the eve of his marking Edwin. His emotions had been so intense, the overwhelming sense of satisfaction seeping out of every cell in his body, and filthy desires had crawled all over every inch of his skin—he had been beside himself. Edwin had trembled incessantly beneath him, like a herbivore forced into a corner, its fur torn, its limbs broken, and its clear, crystalline eyes filled with the purest, most primitive fear.
At that time, Edwin had said a lot of nonsense. He had mentioned Marshal Ax, who was like a pillar of support to him, mentioned former colleagues who had sacrificed themselves in the military, and begged for mercy and tried to escape vaguely. Then, he mentioned Serra.
On the verge of mental collapse, he had still tried to protect his pup, murmuring apologies, and saying what a terrible male parent he was, a useless thing incapable of protecting his own pup. His body spasmed uncontrollably, almost endlessly worsening his own wounds, using pain to cover up his loss of control under the invasion of the male insectoid pheromones—and Serra refused to think about whether, for Edwin, death was more acceptable than being forcibly marked.
Edwin struggled, resisted painfully, and refused to give the slightest concession to the filthy invader, until finally, Serra, while doing the most cruel thing to him, softly called him “male parent” in his ear.
Because of these two words, Edwin compromised. He stared blankly with his unfocused blue eyes, completely surrendering his body to the source that was destroying him and causing him pain.
This was his love for Serra. The deep and rare emotion was like a barbed blade, finally cutting out Serra’s heart at this moment. He was completely unworthy of Edwin’s love. His deception, shameless desires, attitude of mocking fate, and glib cleverness seemed so hypocritical and ridiculous in the face of Edwin’s pure love.
Serra couldn’t bear Edwin’s disappointment. He slowly approached and carefully cupped Edwin’s hands:
“Male parent,” Serra forced the corners of his lips up into a smile, “I’m here, I’m always with you, we’re both safe.”
He felt Edwin tremble at his touch. Driven by instinct, the male insectoid pheromones clamored towards the female insectoid he cared about and had completely marked, wandering through the female insectoid’s body, brazenly declaring ownership, almost plunging Edwin into an even deeper spasm.
But, unexpectedly, Edwin didn’t let go. Even in this strange sensation, he still seemed to stubbornly believe that the large, adolescent male insectoid in front of him was the soft, chubby pup he remembered. He opened his arms almost blindly, wanting to wrap up the “pup” and protect it.
Serra could barely maintain his false smile, tears stinging his dry eyelids. Like the male insectoid pup he once was, he gently buried half of his face in Edwin’s chest, listening to the female insectoid’s chaotic heartbeat. The dazed female insectoid immediately hugged the male insectoid’s head and broad back lovingly, like a female beast trying to protect her pup, leaving her soft chest and abdomen for the pup to rest.
“…Young Male Master.” The pheromones overflowing from the male insectoid’s body repeatedly washed over the female insectoid’s body, echoing the overflowing, disordered energy within him. The female insectoid trembled constantly in this energy, and Serra could almost feel Edwin’s chest vibrating because of it. However, he didn’t make any more physical contact with the female insectoid, for fear of disturbing the female insectoid and bringing about more flashbacks of being violated. Serra gently closed his eyes and responded gently:
“It’s me, male parent, I’ll always be with male parent.”
This time, his words seemed to have really been captured by the female insectoid. The female insectoid’s hands crossed over his broad back muscles, seeming to measure the huge “pup” with confusion, but the female insectoid was too tired and painful to think. He hugged the pup he had lost and regained tightly, no longer rejecting its embrace. Even though his body was enduring more pheromonal flushing because of this “embrace,” he allowed his body to present a protective posture, trembling in the face of the pheromonal impact, and occasionally revealing a slightly heavy or restrained gasp.
Serra could feel that Edwin was still very uneasy and in pain, and he deeply hated that he couldn’t bear even a fraction of it for Edwin. He slowly drove his mental tendrils to restore their most primitive, fat-headed snake form, wrapping him and Edwin in a safe space, carefully soothing Edwin’s violently fluctuating mental sea, and healing Edwin’s fine, scattered wounds all over his body.
Holding back tears, he gently rubbed Edwin’s chest and said softly to Edwin:
“Male parent, let me tell you a bedtime story, okay? Once upon a time, there was a wild rose in the flower garden of the manor…”
He used his mental tendrils to slowly pour the energy fluid, nutrient injection, and the medicine that Sison had found into Edwin’s lips. With the companionship of the “pup,” everything became much easier, because no matter how resistant Edwin was to the male insectoid’s harm and taint, he could never erect a defense against his pup. Serra knew this in his heart. He listened to Edwin’s heartbeat, and the last tear slid from his half-open eyelid.
In any case, Edwin was still alive. So, no matter what consequences and atonement Serra was going to face, he accepted it all and was infinitely grateful for the world’s gift.
“Beep… Beep… The system is rebooting, reconnecting to the host signal, countdown 3—2—1…”
“System?”
Serra suddenly opened his eyes, and the system responded in his mind:
“Host, I’m glad you’re still alive.” The girl’s voice didn’t sound very happy, obviously the pure system had lost all its patience with the cunning human in the previous interactions:
“Next, please use your new body to help Edwin successfully awaken and embark on the destiny of overthrowing the male insectoid empire and rebuilding the insectoid civilization. Do you have any, ob-jec-tions, to the system’s mission?”
The system’s girlish voice was mixed with a “beeping” static, and even carried a hint of threat, which had never happened before. Obviously, Serra’s previous mess had caused the system to completely lose the patience to listen to his sophistry.
“No, system,” Serra said softly in his mind, “I’m very happy to have met you.”
“Beep… Beep…” The system made a brief static sound, seeming very at a loss at this, and after a long time, the huffy girl’s voice popped out again:
“Host, trying to please the system is useless! Look at what you’ve done? You almost let Edwin sacrifice himself needlessly, and you even put your own life on the line! The system’s mission is for you to mistreat Edwin. Do you think there’s no reason for all of this? The Life Tribunal has to follow certain rules, because messing with the timeline without permission will cause the timeline to collapse. No life can afford that!”
“Mistreating Edwin is the most appropriate way to make him awaken early, but without drastically tampering with other events and disrupting the timeline! And what about you? You outwardly agree but inwardly oppose, thinking you know better than everyone else! You almost caused this timeline to collapse. Even if you don’t care about the billions of lives, you should know that Edwin almost died because of you! Before his mission was even completed! You don’t consider your own life, you don’t consider the Life Tribunal’s mission, at least consider Edwin, right? He’s the spark of civilization, bearing a mission. He can’t die silently and unknown!”
“Out of the several hosts I’ve led, you’re the worst!”
After the system finished speaking, the girl’s voice was almost completely covered by static, becoming sharp, obviously having lost its mind from anger.