MCDWTBS Chapter 47
by VolareSerra’s tendrils completely filled the medical bay, many hanging upside down from the void, just to get closer to Edwin’s body. These tendrils had completely lost their original, innocent form, growing thorns and ominous flowers and leaves. The seemingly bottomless flower stamens were soaked with venom, appearing sinister and terrifying to anyone who saw them.
But near Edwin, these dark tendrils spontaneously regressed to their original fat-headed snake form, cautiously touching the *Cí chóng* with their harmless, rounded tips, as timid and careful as their host, the male insectoid, afraid of leaving marks on Edwin’s injured body.
At this moment, Edwin struggled incoherently, trying to find a trace of strength to survive from his weak body. But his muscles were still spasming uncontrollably, his fingers curled up helplessly, tearing the blanket that Serra had carefully placed over him.
“Cub… mine…” Edwin’s voice was interrupted by a burst of severe pain from the inside out. He felt strange, as if the bones in his body were being crushed inch by inch, then placed on a fire to be roasted. His flesh and blood were being churned inside his skin, and he didn’t even know the source of the pain. Everything seemed so unreal, as if… his body no longer belonged to him.
As a military *Cí chóng*, his body was Edwin’s greatest asset. He knew the fate of military *Cí chóng* who lost control of their bodies and their ability to fight. He wasn’t afraid of death, but some consequences were far worse than death.
He was the commander of the First Army… he was the only hope for many military *Cí chóng* to return to the command ship after the battle. He had to protect those comrades, just as Marshal Ax had done.
His battle wasn’t over yet. In a daze, Edwin seemed to return to the battlefield. The abilities of high-level *Cí chóng* were powerful, their short lifespans exchanged for invincibility on the battlefield and a fleeting moment of glory. Their powerful regenerative systems could even withstand the invasion of enemy biochemical weapons, able to regenerate severed limbs. Edwin didn’t know why he was so badly injured, as if his consciousness had awakened in a strange body. He only knew that if he couldn’t recover his condition, the consequences would be unbearable.
Edwin opened his eyes in confusion, his pupils covered with a layer of watery light, as fragile and illusory as glass. Serra’s heart ached as he watched. He couldn’t bear to watch Edwin struggling wildly in his tendrils any longer. He reached out to gently hold Edwin, to prevent him from further tearing open his wounds that hadn’t fully healed.
“Edwin, shhh… listen to me, okay? You’re safe, we’re all safe. Listen, I’ve successfully developed, remember? I caught you. I’m sorry, I know it’s all too late, I did some wrong things—”
“—Don’t touch me!!”
Edwin felt as if Serra’s touch was burning him. Male insectoid pheromones flowed through the skin they touched, like scalding water, flowing to every inch of Edwin’s body. Some chaotic memories suddenly surged up, causing Edwin to fall back into the dark tendrils, his hands and feet trembling, his eyes wide open, staring at the dark dome covered by the tendrils.
He remembered—blood, pain, the feeling of suffocation on the verge of death. He remembered that his cub was still alive, but his cub wasn’t by his side. Instead, there was a huge, irresistible monster. The monster pierced his skin with its sharp beak, injecting venom that burned his organs. He was trapped in a dark, sunless web, allowing his skin to be pierced, invaded, melted, and completely—changed.
And he lost his cub, he lost everything, unable to see anything, unable to do anything. He was like the most pathetic prey, vivisected alive.
He remembered that he begged for mercy. Even though Marshal Ax told them never to beg for mercy, and the military rule of never surrendering was the unshakable iron law of the First Army, Edwin didn’t even keep this last bit of dignity. He used his broken voice to beg to stop this torment, but all he got was more and deeper intrusion.
Edwin didn’t understand, where did things go wrong? He thought he was fearless of all pain, his body made pain feel at home, his body had become a perfect sword, his destiny was to pierce the enemy’s throat or break. He was never afraid of pain, nor did he avoid death.
But being destroyed was a consequence he couldn’t bear. It wasn’t a clean, complete, and pure eternal silence, but the loss of his last persistence and dignity, the loss of his ability to control and the energy he relied on to survive. After being destroyed, he was nothing more than a lump of dead flesh. Pain could fade with death, but after being destroyed, the pure soul couldn’t return to peace.
He didn’t want this, he couldn’t bear this… where was his insectoid cub? Where was his Serra? How… how could he face his cub, face his pure eyes? He didn’t protect his cub, he was the most derelict *Cí fù*. He didn’t even… he didn’t deserve to be a *Cí fù*, didn’t deserve to be a warrior. He had no face to face Marshal Ax, to face those comrades he had lost.
He felt very… very disgusting, very dirty. Edwin’s scattered eyes slowly fell on the wound on his lower abdomen. A layer of medical spray had been applied there. Under the flushing of male insectoid genes and energy, the internal injury had almost healed, and the pinkish-white new skin was trying to wrap the exposed muscles, but—
Edwin’s body was shivering in a strange fever. He remembered the feeling of his abdomen being pierced. He remembered the cavity in his body, something that should have been destroyed in battle, but was forced to endure new transformations and defilement. He remembered—
He remembered the pain of being torn apart from the inside out, causing him to spasm as if he had been electrocuted. He remembered a bizarre, irresistible force suddenly pouring into his cavity, beginning to divide and transform every inch of his flesh and blood. Darkness stained his blood, defiling his scent.
So disgusting… so dirty.
Edwin propped himself up on his elbows, his dark hair cascading over his scarred shoulders, his fair face covered in cold sweat, but his cheeks had a faint flush from the fever. He raised his face again, his distracted eyes looking at the dark dome, a sob escaping his throat uncontrollably as his Adam’s apple bobbed.
One of his hands touched his waist and abdomen, suddenly plunging his entire knuckle into his unhealed wound.
Blood spurted out like a fountain, a drop of fragrant blood falling on Serra’s bloodless lips, making the young male insectoid’s handsome face as pale as a ghost. His hands trembled, but he didn’t dare to touch Edwin again, he could only clench his fists, using his mental tendrils to fix the *Cí chóng*’s wrists in his hysterical struggles and roars, preventing him from harming himself again.
“I’m sorry… Edwin, I’m so sorry. It’s my fault, I did things that hurt you. I beg you, Edwin, punish me, hate me, I deserve it all. I beg you not to do this, don’t hurt yourself anymore, okay? I know it hurts, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry…”
Serra’s fingers were deeply embedded in his palms. His tall body knelt down, huddled on the bed in the medical bay, tears streaming from his caramel-colored eyes.
His mental tendrils carefully wrapped Edwin’s wound, blocking the gushing blood, but Serra didn’t dare to inject more energy and pheromones into Edwin’s body to help him recover, for fear of arousing more panic in Edwin. Edwin’s incoherent over-breathing and his struggles broke Serra’s heart. He raised his hand to cover his lips, only hoping that his sobbing wouldn’t disturb Edwin.
Look at what he had done to Edwin… what qualifications did he have to feel pain? This was all his original sin. He had bewitched Edwin as a cub, and then used the body of an adult male insectoid that Edwin feared to shatter Edwin’s trust and love. He deserved to rot in this sin, he deserved to be tortured forever for it, he deserved to lose any kindness from Edwin.
He deserved Edwin’s hatred.
The male insectoid’s suppressed sobs sounded pitiful and painful, soaked in fear and helplessness. Edwin endured a burst of severe pain, and his body slowly regained a trace of warmth in the embrace of the dark tendrils. His chaotic, self-loathing brain processed the fragmented images that came into his eyes. He recognized the black tendrils trembling slightly in pain beside him, like they had been wronged but dared not complain. He recognized their smooth and warm appearance, the satisfied look of curling up on Edwin’s chest in the dark of night.
Edwin blinked gently, his thoughts slowly stroking the trembling tendrils beside him, allowing them to quietly climb onto his chest, gently licking his wounds, like a young animal comforting a frightened mother.
After an unknown amount of time, Edwin’s empty and distant gaze fell on Serra, who was curled up at his feet. The male insectoid’s aggressive and tensile broad shoulders and narrow waist were reflected in his eyes, as well as the familiar and sought-after brown curly hair and those caramel-colored eyes soaked in tears, filled with grievance but not daring to approach, also made his breathing slightly rapid.
Serra felt Edwin’s gaze. No matter how his instincts and heart screamed to approach his beloved *Cí chóng*, his body shrank back, afraid that his presence would cause Edwin to overreact again. He carefully and quickly wiped away his tears, revealing a slight and ugly smile, and used his tendrils to pass the medicine and energy fluid to Edwin.
“Edwin, can you… drink some energy fluid?” He gently placed the energy fluid and medicine by Edwin’s hand, and his body shrank back into the darkness: “You need to heal. I know you don’t want to see me, I can disappear, Edwin, I beg you, as long as you get better, I can do anything…”
The magnetic and slightly hoarse voice of the young male insectoid was unfamiliar, and should have made Edwin feel disgusted or afraid, but he opened his distracted blue eyes, gently tilted his head, his gaze gradually focused on Serra’s eyes, which revealed timidity and desire, and the tears hanging from the corners of his eyes.
A suffocating familiarity suddenly invaded him, and a gentle force surged in his chest, suppressing his pain and disgust, suppressing the hostility towards everything around him in his highly sensitive state, suppressing the panic and self-loathing caused by his uncontrollable body.
He trembled as he calmed his breathing, and asked in a hoarse voice:
“Young Male Master?”
Serra’s eyes widened. He wasn’t sure if Edwin really recognized him, or if it was some illusion that broke his heart. He didn’t dare to move, and stammered in response:
“It’s me, Edwin… what, what do you need me to do?”
“Young Male Master… is it Young Male Master?”
Edwin interrupted his incoherence, his blue eyes staring at him wearily, his eyes filled with too much empty pain, but also a trace of clear light, called expectation and desire, making Serra’s heart ache with bitterness. Hot tears fell again, and he suddenly understood, trembling uncontrollably:
“It’s me… it’s me! *Cí fù*, I’m sorry… I’m sorry, I made *Cí fù* worry.”
He was inspired and called Edwin “*Cí fù*” again. With just two simple words, even though his appearance had changed, his voice had changed, even though everything he had done was far beyond what could be forgiven, the pale face of the black-haired *Cí chóng* suddenly softened.
Just because of the words “*Cí fù*.”
The *Cí chóng*’s spasming fingers slowly relaxed, and he raised his hands, spreading his arms towards the male insectoid not far away, as if making an invitation.
“Young Male Master, let… let *cishi* hug you, okay?”