MCDWTBS Chapter 46

Chapter 46 “My cub…”

“This is refreshing, Duke Serra. Even though I can’t agree with your otherworldly feelings, I have to admit that your ability to disguise yourself is excellent. I think Edwin really treated you as his own cub. No matter what your original purpose was, you won his heart.”

Serra’s face burned with shame. He had a pair of caramel-colored eyes, naturally clear and bright, revealing innocence and purity that could easily capture the hearts of adult Chong when he was a cub. Now his face had already become that of a teenager, tall and long-legged, with a slender waist and broad shoulders, a high nose bridge, and deep eyebrows, implicitly amorous, revealing the immature and full of tension pheromone aura of a young male insectoid everywhere, but his caramel-colored eyes were still as fiery and sincere as before.

“I know this is wrong. Thank you, Your Highness Ilia, you are perhaps the only female insectoid I know who would point out my mistakes.”

Serra said softly: “I shouldn’t have had a marking relationship with Edwin without permission, and besides—my feelings for him are based on deception. Yes, I know he thinks I am his cub. I used my past behavior, my appearance, and words to lure him, even though at the time I never thought that one day I would be able to have him in this way.”

“I may have valid reasons to persuade you to easily understand and forgive my crimes. But whether I was trying to save his life or not, it cannot change the fact that in the process, my desires were satisfied, and he will bear many consequences that he cannot accept. I didn’t get his permission, and that itself is wrong.”

The young male insectoid’s voice grew lower and lower, and the shame and guilt on his face became more and more obvious, but Ilia finally realized what the source of those emotions that tore at him and made him feel injustice for Edwin was.

As a female insectoid living in an extremely oppressive environment, he didn’t really know why he felt sad and angry at the same time as he was celebrating Edwin’s survival. After all, in this absurd world, a male insectoid’s abuse can be packaged as a gift to female and sub-male insectoids, because of the decreasing number of male insectoids and their privileges. Some female and sub-male insectoids don’t even have the chance to be touched by a male insectoid. Being deeply marked by a male insectoid and rescued from a near-death state, such an experience is even like a miracle for a female insectoid, a romantic experience.

No female or sub-male insectoid would comment on such a thing. All Chong would only secretly envy Edwin’s good luck.

No Chong would care what Edwin’s wishes were, let alone how he felt when he experienced all this.

Because female and sub-male insectoids are not important, their thoughts are not important, their will is not important, and their feelings are not important. This is the “truth” that this society instills in them, and in Ilia’s heart, there has always been a flame that has been suppressed for a long time, slowly burning in the fuel of pain and injustice, unable to find an outlet and source, only burning his flesh and blood, until Serra’s words awakened him, and he realized what the root of his unease was.

The instinctive pursuit of fairness is an accessory that every life brings with it from birth. Even if it is crushed, ground down, and disciplined, it will be passed down through the bloodline.

“…No Chong has ever said such a thing, Duke Serra, I think I should thank you for that. If Edwin knew that his wishes were also seen by you, perhaps all this would not be so difficult for him.”

The sharpness in Ilia’s voice dissipated, and his eyebrows and eyes became gentle and moist again: “He has always regarded you as his own cub. Perhaps this is absurd, but he is a single-minded female insectoid, both on the battlefield and in private. His intentions and motivations have always been pure. He may not be able to accept the new relationship you have established with him. Will you understand him?”

Serra nodded slightly, with some understanding, his voice still revealing shame:

“No matter what he wants, Your Highness Ilia, there is nothing I cannot accept. I only hope… I only hope he can survive and be happy and carefree. That is all I can hope for. If he—still regards me as a cub, then I will still be his cub. None of this is important.”

Hearing this, Ilia was rarely silent. He thought about Edwin’s age, just over 25, and then looked at the 17 or 18-year-old young male insectoid in front of him, whose appearance had only increased immaturity and decreased stability compared to adult male insectoids. After a long time, he sighed and said:

“Since things have come to this, although I don’t know if Duke Serra’s ideas can be realized, I sincerely wish you and General Edwin all the best.”

After he finished speaking, he politely bid farewell to Serra. Serra was afraid that he would be punished by Colean for his actions in the Duke’s Mansion today, so he revealed some news about the Church to him, the strangeness of Bishop Sandersfi and the rumors of discord between the Pope and the Holy Son. He hoped that this news could temporarily spare Ilia from trouble until Serra personally faced Colean, the ambitious, insidious, and ruthless future emperor of the empire.

After Ilia left, Serra quickly changed out of his disheveled clothes, leaving a few mental tendrils for the female and sub-male insectoids in the Duke’s Mansion to help them reorganize their mental seas after the war. He also mobilized all the medical bays in the Duke’s Mansion and had them settled in the still intact east wing of the manor.

After that, Serra, amidst Sison’s hesitant expression, curled up his tall body and stuffed himself into the head of Edwin’s medical bay. His overly wide shoulders were pitifully shrunken, as if wanting to reduce his excessively strong aura as a high-level male insectoid and the pheromones of leather and bourbon that were pouring out madly towards Edwin.

“Young Male Master…” Sison hesitated for a moment, and seeing that Serra’s tail hook was about to quietly climb onto the medical bay, he turned his eyes away and said:

“Edwin has just been deeply marked, and his condition is not very stable. In the following period, his body will endure some pain, and his emotions and spirit will also produce… a certain degree of regression. Perhaps it would be better if you gave him some space alone. Most female insectoids who are marked by a male master and are loved will have three days to a week to be alone, to sort out their bodies and emotions.”

Serra struggled to move his gaze away from Edwin’s face, blinked at Sison with some confusion, and then asked:

“Sison, I’m sorry, I forgot you were marked. Being marked… is it very painful?” The male insectoid’s caramel-colored eyes immediately revealed an unmistakable worry, and his newly formed slender and powerful hands couldn’t help but gently hold Edwin’s cold hand.

“…Yes, Young Male Master.” Sison fell into a brief silence. Obviously, that was not a good experience for him, even though he had never complained, and that was why his female insectoid son, Ilia, was born:

“Most female and sub-male insectoids will be unconscious for a period of time after being marked, and their bodies will be painful and fragile. Some male insectoids… will take this opportunity to abuse the newly marked female and sub-male insectoids because they cannot suppress their pain as usual. Female and sub-male insectoids with strong personalities and noble backgrounds are treated brutally during this period, so privately, they call this period the ‘period of shame’.”

“Before being marked by you, Edwin’s body was already on the verge of collapse, and your energy is too vast and powerful. Perhaps his period of shame will be longer. He may develop some dependence on your pheromones and your presence. If he offends you, I hope you know that this is not his intention.”

Hearing this, Serra’s eyes trembled slightly. He held Edwin’s hand tightly, lowered his head and gently kissed his fingers, concealing the heartache and remorse in his eyes:

“Sison, I will not give up studying the genetic defects of female and sub-male insectoids, nor will I stop my work. I just… I only regret that because of my incompetence, Edwin, and you, have to endure all this.”

“This is wrong, Sison, this shouldn’t happen to any intelligent being. This is… wrong.”

Sison’s face, which was trying to maintain a calm expression, trembled slightly. He even took a step back, completely disarmed by Serra’s words. Looking at Serra’s apology, many confused and uncertain thoughts arose in his heart.

Serra and Edwin’s emotions were too special. Sison couldn’t imagine how far they would go, a male insectoid with strange ideas and a military female insectoid who was too stubborn and had his own unique pride and adherence. Sison didn’t know if they could get the right feedback on a seemingly wrong path.

But no matter what the future holds, at this moment, he is still full of blessings and care for Serra. Not only because everything he and his compatriots had suffered during the period of shame was finally considered a crime, even if it was only said by a young male insectoid, it was better than all Chong taking it as normal, but also because he was different from the past.

At some point, Sison experienced many unfamiliar things filling his heart in the interaction between Serra and Edwin. He knew that it was the spark of hope.

He relearned hope and expectation, even though he knew this was a very dangerous signal. Overturning all previous beliefs and knowledge would make him embrace danger and uncertainty, and would make him face the disappointment that comes with hope time and time again.

But Sison was still very glad that he opened that window and let hope shine in.

“Yes, Young Male Master, this is wrong.” Sison revealed his rebellious and sharp side in front of Serra for the first time, tearing apart his usual pretense of eternal submission and eternal propriety:

“Eren and I have discussed it. We need to rebuild the Duke’s Mansion and the protective system of the territory. At the beginning of the founding of Golden Feather, the four families each had their own territories and private armies. Even though they were later deposed by the royal family and crushed by the Church, the imperial law stipulates that noble male insectoids have the right to establish their own armed forces when their lives and property are threatened. Young Male Master, I am willing to undertake this task in the name of the Duke’s Mansion, to be responsible for the safety of the territory and the safety of your project.”

“I need your permission, if that is also what you need.”

Serra raised his eyes and said almost in surprise: “Of course, I… Sison, you will always have the decision-making power of the Duke’s Mansion. I… just thought you wouldn’t want to do these things in the name of the Duke’s Mansion or a male insectoid. This is very dangerous. I actually want to send you, and your pheromone production machines—I mean my male father—to a safe recuperation planet. I have dragged you down too much. Many of my brothers are still young. They shouldn’t be put at risk of confrontation with the Church and the Empire because of my decisions…”

“Young Male Master, I understand your kindness.” Sison showed some impatience to Serra on his delicate face for the first time, which almost made Serra shrink his neck—he remembered that Sison was also his male parent in name, so there was some bloodline suppression:

“But you should know that we have all chosen to stay, chosen to fight the Church, and chosen to unite with Edwin and you. If any of us wanted stability and wanted to repeat the lifestyle of our predecessors, we would not be standing here. We need to do these things, to explore the new path you have developed, to complete Marshal Ax’s unfinished business, to do—anything, even if we face death and serious consequences.”

“And you need to know that any consequences will not be more unacceptable to us than going back to the old life and repeating the same mistakes. If we have to bleed and sacrifice, then so be it, just like you said in the textbooks for female and sub-male insectoids, revolution—what we want is a revolution, even if it is unsuccessful, it is a thousand times better than doing nothing.”

Sison’s words left Serra speechless. For the first time, he directly felt that the ideas he had been spreading since he crossed over to the insectoid race were igniting a fire in those ignorant female and sub-male insectoids with the momentum of a prairie fire. For the first time, he directly realized that he was making changes, and this world was making changes. Even if only a small number of female and sub-male insectoids were awakened at present, it was still an unprecedented huge progress.

“I understand, I’m… I’m sorry, Sison, I’ve always… I haven’t done well enough. I haven’t asked you what you want. I haven’t provided you with a safer environment… I’m always too taken for granted. I probably… I don’t even have the determination to bear sacrifice and loss that you have.”

He lowered his head and looked at Edwin. The panic of almost losing him made him start to experience the feeling of drowning again. The mere thought of losing Edwin made him unable to breathe. How could he—he was the most unqualified one, only talking about revolution in a pretentious way, but being afraid of this and that, and being timid.

“Young Male Master, you don’t have to blame yourself too much.”

Sison’s gaze softened, and even a bit of loving expression similar to Edwin’s was revealed. Even though he wasn’t as blindly single-minded as Edwin, the curly-haired male insectoid cub had left an indelible impression in his heart. Part of his heart regarded Serra as a cub in the family.

“You’ve done very well, and you don’t need to apologize to us. Take care of yourself and take care of Edwin, okay? I look forward to fighting alongside my juniors on the future battlefield.”

He looked at Edwin gently, and said softly to Serra: “I’ve seen the data feedback from the medical bay. Edwin’s body is healing quickly, but your pheromones and gene contamination are too strong. He will experience a very long and fluctuating period of shame. If you are prepared to face it with him, I hope… you will be more tolerant and patient with him. He will get better, as long as he gets through this period, his combat effectiveness may be restored to his peak on the battlefield. At that time, Edwin…”

Sison showed a bit of nostalgia: “He was very dazzling. When his dark night gilded wings and Marshal Ax’s pure white wings of judgment were spread together, the entire universe would surrender to them. We were invincible.”

A layer of tears appeared in Serra’s eyes. He had never seen Edwin so brilliant. He… he came too late. He could hardly imagine how Edwin, from that invincible military female insectoid general, had become a prey that he had forcibly marked, and had experienced so much unspeakable torture. He just felt heartache for Edwin.

“I won’t leave him, Sison… I can’t stop loving him.”

The curly-haired male insectoid said softly. Sison didn’t quite understand what he meant by “love”, but he still left softly, leaving the space to Serra.

Serra was incredibly grateful for his trust, even though he didn’t know if he deserved it.

At night, Edwin suddenly woke up in the embrace of Serra’s tendrils. He was breathing in fear, and uncontrollable tears streamed down his eyes.

“My cub… my cub, cub… cub.” His limbs were convulsing, and the pain made the veins on his fair neck bulge. His gaze was scattered and unfocused, and cold sweat slid down his collarbone. He muttered almost neurotically, his gaze passing through layers of tendrils, through Serra in front of him, who was showing a painful and helpless expression, searching for his curly-haired cub everywhere.

“My cub… where are you, male parent… male parent can’t find you…”