TLDMDTBS Chapter 53

Chapter 53

Ji Ruan turned over and curled up, cold sweat pouring out, soaking the pillow.

He always thought that as long as he didn’t like Gu Xiuyi, as long as he was strong enough, he could avoid the bad plot points in the book.

But how did it end up like this?

Was it that the plot would happen no matter what, or was it because… he had started to like Gu Xiuyi?

Ji Ruan’s heart raced again, little by little, the bits and pieces of these days unfolded in front of him like a comic strip.

—He snuggled in Gu Xiuyi’s arms; he wanted Gu Xiuyi to hold him wherever he went; to hear him better, he asked Gu Xiuyi to get closer; even when sleeping, he liked to be held by Gu Xiuyi because he was afraid of the cold.

Everything was initiated by him; he was the one who clung to Gu Xiuyi. It seemed like… he really relied heavily on Gu Xiuyi.

The more Ji Ruan thought about it, the more frightened he became. How could he have not noticed this after so many days, and even immersed himself in it feeling incredibly happy?

Who else would hug and sleep together like this, other than a couple?

Even the best of friends wouldn’t be like them, with hands and legs pressed together in an embrace.

No matter how one explained it, for their current relationship, it was too exaggerated.

But did Gu Xiuyi like him?

Many times, Ji Ruan felt that Gu Xiuyi probably had some feelings for him.

If he didn’t like him, why would he be willing to hold him while sleeping? If he didn’t like him, why would he treat him so well?

But Ji Ruan didn’t dare to test this; he was well aware that the protagonist in the original book suffered greatly because he could never understand Gu Xiuyi’s feelings, always worried about gain and loss.

According to the development of the plot, no matter how good Gu Xiuyi was to the protagonist at first, once the “white moonlight” returned, he would become cold and indifferent, even watching as the white moonlight bullied the protagonist without intervening, standing aside silently.

It wouldn’t be until he truly faced the possibility of loss that he would realize his love for the protagonist and offer some futile affection as consolation.

But Ji Ruan truly couldn’t understand. He couldn’t imagine that the Gu Xiuyi who treated him so well could suddenly become indifferent and hesitant.

He had always felt that Gu Xiuyi wouldn’t be like that; he wouldn’t lose his judgment just because of someone else’s coaxing. Even if influenced by the plot, his personality seemed exaggerated.

But Ji Ruan still dared not gamble. After all, the few plot points he knew matched perfectly; how could he guarantee that what happened next wouldn’t unfold as usual simply because of him?

Ji Ruan’s heart was still racing. He tried to take several deep breaths, then propped himself up in bed, leaning against the headboard and waiting for the dizziness to pass.

The pink sheer curtains by the window were drawn, and the sunlight passed through, bathing the entire room in a soft pink hue, calm and dreamy.

Just like the life he had been living recently, beautiful to the point of feeling unreal.

Ji Ruan’s gaze fell back on his leg, straightening up to slowly roll up his pant leg until his injured skin was fully exposed. He quietly stared for a moment, then gently ripped off the dressing.

The gruesome wound was presented before him.

When he was first injured, it had been dark buried among the stones, and Ji Ruan hadn’t seen it clearly. Later, in the hospital, every time he needed a dressing change, Gu Xiuyi would cover his eyes and prevent him from looking. This was the first time Ji Ruan was seriously examining the scar.

It was indeed quite ugly.

About ten centimeters long, the stitches had yet to be removed, crookedly lacing across his calf, still faintly seeping blood.

No wonder Gu Xiuyi didn’t let him see it. Anyone with a slight tendency toward obsessive-compulsiveness would feel especially uncomfortable upon seeing it, wishing to flatten it immediately with a shovel and cover it with white paint, forcing the leg to return to its original state.

Ji Ruan felt disheartened after looking at it for a while.

His wound was healing too slowly; had it been someone else, the stitches would have been removed by now, but he still had at least three or four days to wait.

Even after the stitches were taken out, he couldn’t walk too much until the wound completely healed. Adding it all up, he’d be in a state of lost mobility for two to three months.

But could he really wait that long?

He had initially decided to run away before the white moonlight returned, but now that seemed completely impossible.

Even if he stayed in the hospital every day, he had to be very careful to avoid inflammation; if he ran away to escape the plot, he might not even survive until the white moonlight returned and would die on the street first.

Ji Ruan had thought that everything would pile up during the period three years later when the contract was about to end. At that time, he would be a senior in college, completely capable of applying for an internship to escape for a while and return with a diploma.

But why was it happening recently?

He had just started to adapt to life in this world, had good friends, a good sister, and a teacher who reminded him of his mother. He wanted to continue doing Han embroidery and pursue what he loved.

Why should he leave the place he was familiar with and give up everything to escape just because of a legendary white moonlight?

There’s no reason in the world for that.

Ji Ruan didn’t want to feel this way, but he absolutely didn’t want to just sit there, knowing he was going to be tormented while being helpless.

But if he determined that the facts couldn’t be changed, how would he be tormented?

In the old-fashioned stories, eye-gouging, heart-excising, and kidney-slicing seemed like standard fare… Would there be bone marrow matching too… Right, right, right! How about car accidents and kidnappings that can’t be cured?

Rationality told Ji Ruan he was thinking increasingly outlandishly, but this was an old-fashioned tormenting story! The plots inside were illogical! Who knew if it would actually happen? If it did, could he even escape?

Ji Ruan had successfully scared himself into a cold sweat with his mental gymnastics, bewildered and sitting on the bed not knowing what to do.

He hugged his knees, curling into a small ball, burying his face in the crook of his arm, his brain seemingly unable to think at all, utterly chaotic.

Ugh… It feels so sad…

Gu Xiuyi had only left the ward for a short while; Ji Ruan had become someone who couldn’t be without company lately. Gu Xiuyi practically moved his office into the hospital, staying by Ji Ruan’s side.

But just in that short while, Ji Ruan, who should have been obediently taking a nap under the covers, had sat up, hair all messy, hugging his knees tightly.

He hadn’t even put on a jacket, wearing a little floral hospital gown, shivering. His pant legs were even rolled up, and the dressing had been partially torn off, leaving the wound exposed. Even without seeing his face, one could feel his panic.

Gu Xiuyi was nearly choked up in shock, quickly stepping forward to place the paper bag in his hand onto the small table, sitting down beside Ji Ruan, momentarily at a loss about what to do first.

He calmed himself, putting his arm around Ji Ruan’s shoulders to prevent him from moving and accidentally brushing against the wound, then carefully replaced the dressing, covering that terrifying wound that nearly cost Ji Ruan his life, and slowly lowered the pant leg.

These actions generally wouldn’t take more than a few seconds, but Gu Xiuyi was very careful and focused with every movement, and the temperature in Ji Ruan’s room was a bit higher than outside, causing Gu Xiuyi to start sweating at his temples after finishing all of this.

During this time, Ji Ruan lifted his head, resting his chin on his forearm, being particularly silent.

Gu Xiuyi wrapped Ji Ruan in a small blanket, pulling him slightly towards his embrace, observing his complexion closely—it was very poor; his eyes were red, his lips pale, and the back of his neck was coated in cold sweat.

“What’s wrong, Ji Ruan?” Gu Xiuyi brushed back his hair from his forehead for an unobstructed view of his expression. “Are you feeling unwell?”

Ji Ruan didn’t speak, slowly lifting his eyes to meet Gu Xiuyi’s gaze, his delicate brows furrowed. His eyebrows, among boys, were uniquely delicate and beautiful, easily causing one to feel pain when they held worries.

Gu Xiuyi felt a tug at his heart and gently rubbed the center of Ji Ruan’s brows with his fingertip: “What’s wrong, baby?”

Ji Ruan seemed to have let out a light sigh, opened his mouth to speak but stopped, turning his head as if searching for something.

Gu Xiuyi immediately understood, pressing down on Ji Ruan’s shoulder to prevent him from moving around, leaning over to grab the external machine from the small table at the foot of the bed and putting it behind Ji Ruan’s ear.

With Ji Ruan nestled in his arm, Gu Xiuyi’s hand slowly caressed Ji Ruan’s back, providing a reassuring comfort with a sense of solid safety.

“Take your time, baby. Where do you feel uncomfortable?”

Ji Ruan indeed felt uncomfortable, but he was very clear that it wasn’t a physical discomfort, but rather a chaotic swirl of thoughts, wanting to explain but finding no way to articulate.

He couldn’t tell Gu Xiuyi that not long from now, the white moonlight would return, and he would launch a series of retaliations against him, including eye-gouging, heart-excising, and kidney-slicing, while Gu Xiuyi stood there dumbly watching without intervening, right?

Ji Ruan was certain that once he shared this, Gu Xiuyi would undoubtedly hug him and take him to see a psychiatrist.

He lowered his head, unsure of how to dodge the topic, only managing to clumsily squeeze out four words: “I’m a bit scared…”

Scared?

Gu Xiuyi was taken aback, his gaze falling on Ji Ruan’s calf.

He recalled the scene he had seen upon entering the ward and began to form an idea.

Ji Ruan must have been frightened upon seeing that wound; after all, the scar was indeed large, and the possibility of it completely healing to normal was almost non-existent.

That smooth, fair calf would now bear such a terrifying scar; Ji Ruan had always been someone who loved beauty, so one can imagine how difficult it would be for him to accept that.

Gu Xiuyi felt even more distressed, hugging Ji Ruan and earnestly comforting him:

“Okay, okay, it’s fine, baby. The wound looks like this because it hasn’t healed yet.”

“When the stitches are removed and it scabs over, it will improve a lot.”

“And if you don’t like it, we can consider plastic surgery to remove the scar; minimally invasive procedures won’t affect your body either.”

…

“Forget about it, baby. Have something to eat. Aunt Zhao just baked some cupcakes…”

He picked up the paper bag from the table, inside was a beautiful cupcake, and the light pink cream was topped with a luscious cherry.

Since Ji Ruan was hospitalized, Gu Xiuyi wanted to feed him food as much as possible, with afternoon tea being an indispensable part of it.

Ji Ruan saw that Gu Xiuyi thought he was only concerned about that scar, and while he felt relieved, he also felt an inexplicable sadness.

But he couldn’t fully understand why he felt sad. This was the strangest emotion he had felt in these past few days.

Gu Xiuyi had already brought the little cherry to Ji Ruan’s mouth. Ji Ruan instinctively opened his mouth to take it in; the sweet and sour flavor burst in his mouth, soothing his troubled heart to some extent.

He happily squinted his eyes a little, savoring the delicious cherry, not opening them until the last bit of sweetness disappeared.

Then he realized that at some point, he had nestled back into Gu Xiuyi’s embrace, naturally adopting a posture of heavy reliance seeking comfort.

Ji Ruan was suddenly startled, instinctively sitting up straight, moving back slightly to create some distance between them.

Feeling the sudden loosening in his arms, Gu Xiuyi paused for a moment, then slowly lowered his hands, noticing Ji Ruan turn his head away to avoid eye contact.

Very strange.

Gu Xiuyi understood Ji Ruan very well; he was a child who loved to be embraced. Sometimes he could nestle in Gu Xiuyi’s arms watching movies for the entire afternoon.

But he had never escaped from his arms so suddenly as he did now.

Indeed, escaped.

Gu Xiuyi pondered for two seconds but didn’t immediately pursue it. Instead, he scooped out a spoonful of cake and fed it to Ji Ruan, pretending not to notice: “Come on, have another bite.”

As expected, Ji Ruan didn’t open his mouth as usual to wait for feeding but instead reached out to take the whole cupcake, softly saying, “I can do it myself…”

Gu Xiuyi’s expression darkened, yet he didn’t press further, patiently waiting for Ji Ruan to finish eating. He took the empty paper cup from his hand and naturally pulled out a napkin to help him wipe his mouth.

Ji Ruan slightly turned his head, once again interrupting Gu Xiuyi’s action, taking the napkin to wipe his mouth clean before folding it and tossing it into the trash.

So strange.

Even if Gu Xiuyi was slow, he understood by now that something was seriously off. There was no way it could be explained just by “feeling sad about seeing the wound.”

Ji Ruan’s resistance to physical contact was the most apparent signal.

“What’s going on, Ji Ruan?” Gu Xiuyi said heavily.

Fearing he would startle Ji Ruan, he forced himself to soften his tone, gently holding Ji Ruan’s hand and pulling them closer, softly saying, “Can you tell me?”

Once he started caring, Ji Ruan could clearly feel that Gu Xiuyi was genuinely gentle with him. One could even imagine that throughout his thirty years of life, there wouldn’t be a moment more tender than this one.

But the more he showed this side, the more confused Ji Ruan became.

How could someone who treated him so well change on a whim?

Gu Xiuyi was careful even when touching his wound, and when he replaced the dressing again, he didn’t dare to press too forcefully around the edges, fearing he would hurt him.

Such a person, how could he stand by and watch someone bully him while remaining indifferent?

Ji Ruan couldn’t imagine that.

Gu Xiuyi’s gaze was too easy to get lost in, and Ji Ruan felt his blood ignite as they locked eyes, hastily looking down.

But even with his rationality intact, he couldn’t resist that gentleness; the fear and timidity that had been suppressed in his heart scrambled to bubble up from his throat.

Finally, he mustered the courage to lift his head and met Gu Xiuyi’s fervent gaze: “…I had a nightmare.”

If it was just a dream, even if it was outrageous, it wouldn’t be considered madness, right? He could also gauge Gu Xiuyi’s attitude through this.

“Um, what did you dream about?” Gu Xiuyi remained gentle.

He embraced Ji Ruan again, unceremoniously pulling him close before saying, “Don’t be afraid, just tell me slowly.”

Ji Ruan bit his lip, his fingers tightening unconsciously, as if he had made a great determination, he opened his mouth:

“I dreamed that you… wanted to gouge my heart, scoop out my kidneys, and didn’t even spare my corneas.”

Once he said this, the air trapped in Ji Ruan’s throat seemed to smooth out; he closed his eyes, tightly gripping his fists and taking a breath: “Later, you will meet someone very important to you, and he bullies me!”

“He wants my heart, liver, spleen, lungs, and kidneys. Not only do you not help me, but you also tacitly approve of his actions. It’s so bad!”

“…In short, he’s terribly wicked!”

The resentment that had been bottled up for so long poured out at that moment, Ji Ruan’s long speech echoed poignantly in the spacious ward.

“…”

Ji Ruan hung his head low, waiting for a long time without receiving a response; he had to gather courage again to lift his head.

Only to see Gu Xiuyi’s calm and collected expression gradually fracturing.

“Ji… Baby…” Gu Xiuyi rarely stumbled over his words.

He seemed quite shocked, his Adam’s apple rolling up and down as he struggled to adjust his state of mind, attempting to bring his thoughts into alignment with Ji Ruan’s, but failing disastrously.

“Why… would you have such a dream?” Gu Xiuyi tried hard to make his expression appear relaxed, pretending to understand Ji Ruan’s feelings very well: “I wouldn’t do that.”

Ji Ruan’s momentum rose, boldly meeting Gu Xiuyi’s gaze:

“How do you know you wouldn’t? Who knows what the future holds?”

“There’s no possibility of that.”

“How can you guarantee that?”

Gu Xiuyi paused, suddenly falling silent. He let Ji Ruan out of his embrace and had him sit facing him, leaning slightly forward to grasp Ji Ruan’s shoulders.

Ji Ruan clearly sensed that Gu Xiuyi’s expression had turned incredibly serious at this moment.

His heart skipped a beat, feeling that the other party was about to say something immensely important.

Thump, thump—

Ji Ruan’s heart began to race, as if his blood was boiling, his ears burning hot.

What was he going to say?

What words could match such a serious expression?

Would he confess that he liked me?

Impossible, impossible. In the story, Gu Xiuyi only confessed when the protagonist was on the verge of dying; how could it happen so soon?

…If he really said it, how should he respond?

Even if he confessed didn’t mean he wouldn’t still help the white moonlight torment him afterwards. The most unreliable thing in the world was a man’s words!

But his heart was still racing.

For a fleeting moment, all Ji Ruan could hear was the pounding of his own heartbeat, fearful he wouldn’t be able to hear Gu Xiuyi’s words. He covered his heart, suppressing for so long before finally calming slightly.

The incredibly long entanglement that burst through the dam was actually just a fleeting moment.

Gu Xiuyi swallowed, his lips parted slightly, and at that moment, Ji Ruan’s heart hit its peak.

“—That’s illegal.”

Gu Xiuyi spoke in an exceptionally serious and rigorous tone: “Any organ trade challenges the legal bottom line. I am a law-abiding citizen, have never had any bad records, and pay taxes on time every year.”

“If you’re worried, you can check the company’s tax records at any time.”

“I won’t break the law, nor will I tacitly allow others to break the law.”

“What you dreamed of earlier has not the slightest chance of happening.”

After Gu Xiuyi finished his defense, he looked at Ji Ruan, who appeared somewhat stunned.

His eyes wide, wet eyelashes, his mouth slightly ajar as they locked gazes, but his focus was a bit unfocused.

Ji Ruan had been well cared for these days, and his lips, which usually cracked easily, were now moisturized, radiating a natural rosy hue, and even appeared somewhat translucent after having just eaten the cupcake.

Gu Xiuyi felt a stir in his heart, his fingertips tingling, and he said the deepest thought buried within him:

“Of course, there is no one more important than you.”

After saying this, he looked at Ji Ruan with a hint of trepidation.

Ji Ruan: “………”

After this extended speech on civic principles, Ji Ruan’s attention could no longer focus on any other thing.

Even if Gu Xiuyi finished with, “You’re the most important,” to Ji Ruan, it seemed no more than a pale justification of Gu Xiuyi’s emotional intelligence as he tumbled down the abyss.

Just like a skydiver suddenly realizing he forgot to pack a parachute, in a critical moment discovering there was a backup, only to find that it had a gaping hole!

Somehow useful, but not enough, and couldn’t save much.

Ji Ruan was utterly dazed, completely unable to process it.

The unforeseen path opened up so abruptly that Ji Ruan’s brain crashed.

So the world of old-fashioned tormenting stories also had laws!

But why did it feel even worse?

Ji Ruan didn’t understand what was going on with him, but he knew he didn’t want to look at Gu Xiuyi’s company’s tax records at all!

·

That day, Gu Xiuyi never received a response from Ji Ruan until the end.

He watched helplessly as Ji Ruan’s eyes regained their sparkle, as if he had come to his senses.

Yet his slightly parted lips gradually closed, slowly pressing into a straight line, swallowing even the beautiful lip pearl.

Two seconds later, Ji Ruan’s mouth corners began to pull down evenly, slowly forming a very aggrieved half-parenthesis, and then his eyes began to redden, his whole face crumpling in an instant.

“Wah—!”

In less than a second, beads of tears as big as beans rushed out from the slits of Ji Ruan’s closed eyes, relentlessly hitting Gu Xiuyi’s hand.

???!!!

Gu Xiuyi nearly jumped out of his bed, reacting faster than his thoughts as he hastily pulled out the napkin with a crinkling sound.

“What… why are you crying?!”

“I was wrong!”

“Don’t cry, baby…”