TLDMDTBS Chapter 43

Chapter 43 Publication

The lights flickered, and the room was quiet, with only the sound of ice cubes clinking in Li Sui’an’s wine glass.

Ji Ruan sat beside him, propping his chin up as he watched Duan Zeping, who was sound asleep across from them.

Lao Duan’s drinking wasn’t too terrible; he would cry and then pass out, occasionally calling out Lin Qing’s name and pretending to sob for a while without shedding any tears.

“What’s wrong with him…” Ji Ruan hesitated, “Did he break up?”

Li Sui’an took a slow sip of his drink, “Isn’t it obvious? He was howling all night. I wanted to invite you over for some fun, but it got a bit late. Now it’s all quiet down.”

“Fun?” Ji Ruan raised an eyebrow, catching one of Li Sui’an’s words: “Some?”

“Otherwise, why do you think Lao Gu came over?” Li Sui’an chuckled. “He hasn’t shown up for any of Lao Duan’s gatherings before, but today he showed up. I suspect he’s just curious to see what a thirty-something man looks like after a breakup, so he won’t follow in Duan Zeping’s footsteps. Hahaha—”

Ji Ruan’s brows furrowed, and the corners of his mouth twitched in a barely suppressed smile. After a pause, he said, “Then you could just tell me directly.”

“I definitely have to say it’s the fun you want to see,” Li Sui’an said, “As soon as I mentioned Lao Gu got drunk, you hurried over, right?”

He glanced at Ji Ruan’s face: “What’s this? Want to keep some dark history to yourself?”

“…” Ji Ruan didn’t expect Li Sui’an to see through him so easily, feeling a bit embarrassed as he scratched his nose.

Clearing his throat, he stammered, “Well, please don’t tell him…”

He spoke in a hushed tone, his eyes large. Under the flickering lights at the bar, his pupils sparkled clear and bright, making it easy for others to feel soft-hearted.

It was as if, long under the oppression of Gu Xiuyi, he wanted to resist but didn’t know how, only able to ease his pressure through the not-so-smart act of secretly capturing dark histories.

Li Sui’an had seen that kind of gaze in Song Ling’s eyes too.

“Ah,” Li Sui’an sighed, showing some sympathy. “Am I that kind of person? Don’t worry…”

He trailed off, as if feeling something: “Besides, Lao Gu is probably just too happy right now, he’s probably flying high up there—”

“Hmm?” Ji Ruan didn’t quite understand. “What’s so happy—”

“Qingqing!” Duan Zeping suddenly jolted awake, shouting Lin Qing’s name, startling Ji Ruan.

“Holy moly!” Li Sui’an was also taken aback, not by the sudden noise but because Duan Zeping almost knocked over the wine bottle beside him when he moved. He quickly reached out to steady it.

Although there was carpet on the floor, the bottles and jars could break if they hit a chair or the table’s corner. If Ji Ruan got scratched, Gu Xiuyi would probably be furious.

Imagining the expression on Gu Xiuyi’s face made Li Sui’an feel a bit creeped out, so he quickly gathered all the fragile items Duan Zeping could reach within half a meter.

He then casually grabbed a clean cup to pour Ji Ruan some water, knowing how precious this “treasure” of Lao Gu’s body was. He didn’t add any ice, just plain water.

“You must be thirsty. Drink some.”

Ji Ruan thanked him as he took the cup. Still feeling a bit cold and not wanting to drink the cold water, he absentmindedly traced the rim of the cup with his finger, pondering Li Sui’an’s earlier words.

Li Sui’an seemed to have brought it up casually, turning his head to forget about it, casting a glance at the drunk man again and sighing, “See? This is what happens when you fall in love for the first time at thirty-something.”

“First love?” This was a turn Ji Ruan didn’t expect.

“How can someone be single for over thirty years with all that money? Ridiculous, right?” Li Sui’an shook his head and clucked his tongue. “So, it’s a reminder for us to fall in love early. Otherwise, if you suddenly pour all your repressed feelings from so many years onto one person, the risks are too high.”

“Meeting the right person is a one in a million chance,” he tapped on the table. “Most people are just deceived out of both heart and money.”

“—But in this regard, Lao Gu is much luckier than him.” Li Sui’an took a sip of his drink and said softly.

Ji Ruan’s eyes curved in a smile. Gu Xiuyi’s first love, huh?

Speaking of which, Gu Xiuyi was already thirty. Would he fare better in his first love than Duan Zeping?

Ji Ruan’s thoughts drifted, and suddenly a notion popped into his mind.

His expression changed abruptly.

This thought struck him like a lightning bolt, shattering the slightly intoxicated illusion he had been wrapped in.

He suddenly realized that when he imagined Gu Xiuyi falling into first love, he had unconsciously projected himself into that image.

This thought was terrifying.

The temperature in his fingertips dropped.

He should always remind himself that this was an old-school, tragic story. No matter how Gu Xiuyi treated him now, everything about the future was filled with variables that couldn’t be measured by common sense.

Yet this book was merely something his cousin had roughly described while he was hospitalized. He had never read it himself and knew nothing of the details in the story, nor could he anticipate when a crisis would strike.

So the only way to protect himself was to keep his heart as solid as rock.

Yet, for that brief moment, he had slipped into the fantasy of being a real couple with Gu Xiuyi, even a first love.

This clear idea made Ji Ruan’s scalp tingle.

Moreover, according to the book’s portrayal of the “white moonlight,” Gu Xiuyi’s first love must have been long gone by now, back when he was seventeen or eighteen, those feelings would certainly be much more innocent and passionate.

So, it was only natural that the current Gu Xiuyi could handle all kinds of feelings with such ease.

Ji Ruan suddenly felt a bit uncomfortable.

He couldn’t quite pinpoint what was wrong, but his heart felt stuffy, and the abrupt emotional turmoil made him feel slightly nauseated.

He pressed against his stomach, his fingers were cold from touching the icy cup for too long, pressing down on his stomach didn’t help.

However, feeling physically unwell surprisingly sharpened his mind, and Ji Ruan suddenly had a feeling of surviving a disaster.

He was glad he caught the warning in time and didn’t continue to indulge in the current cozy illusion.

He definitely didn’t want to be tormented.

If things went south later, he could always run away. Even if he did have some feelings for Gu Xiuyi, what was that worth compared to his life?

If Gu Xiuyi wanted to be nice to him, he’d accept it; if Gu Xiuyi didn’t want to anymore, he could run away. After all, he would leave when the contract expired anyway; it didn’t matter if it was sooner or later.

So what if it was a tragic tale? Only a fool would stay and wait for misery.

Ji Ruan silently cheered himself on, trying hard to ignore the lingering discomfort in his heart.

“What’s wrong with you?” Li Sui’an asked when he noticed Ji Ruan hadn’t spoken for a long time.

Ji Ruan came back to his senses, adjusted his emotions, gently pressing his stomach and pausing for a moment before saying, “I also heard that Lin Qing dropped out of school.”

He didn’t want to bring up Gu Xiuyi anymore and shifted the topic to Lin Qing and Duan Zeping.

Li Sui’an picked up on his meaning and understood he thought Lin Qing had run away after dropping out and left Lao Duan. He shook his head: “No, it was Lao Duan who ended it with Lin Qing first. After they broke up, Lin Qing disappeared a day or two later.”

Ji Ruan was a bit surprised. Duan Zeping seemed to like Lin Qing so much; how did he muster the courage to break up with her?

His expression was too obvious, mirroring how Li Sui’an and the others had looked when they first learned of the situation. Li Sui’an laughed, “At first glance, this seems strange, but upon closer inspection, it makes sense.”

The temperature in the bar was low, and although Ji Ruan was wearing a fleece-lined jacket, he still felt a bit cold. His chest and stomach were chilled, making his already discomforting stomach hurt even more, causing occasional spasms.

He zipped up his jacket all the way to cover his chin, tucked his hands into his pockets to carefully protect his stomach while listening to Li Sui’an continue.

“The main reason Lao Duan hasn’t dated is that his preferences are too fixed. He only likes those pure and lofty, fairy-like women. He fell in love with Lin Qing at first sight, and Lin Qing’s image has indeed had that kind of vibe in front of him.”

Li Sui’an took small sips of his drink: “But Lao Duan isn’t entirely foolish; he could sense Lin Qing’s half-hearted approach. Sometimes it’s just self-deceit; one wants to play, while the other is willing to take the hit.”

“Then something happened between you guys; they had some kind of argument, anyway, Lin Qing’s image in his heart was completely shattered. So sometimes it feels like Lao Duan didn’t truly love Lin Qing but rather the fantasy he had in his mind, which just happened to be projected onto Lin Qing.”

“…Now that the time has come, he wakes up to it, but he hasn’t completely gotten past it.”

He smiled faintly: “People, when they’re awake, that’s often the hardest time.”

Ji Ruan suddenly shook; Li Sui’an’s casual words seemed to prick at something in his heart.

So, the inexplicable discomfort in his heart was also because he had just detached from the fantasy, a kind of withdrawal reaction?

Ji Ruan pressed down harder on his stomach.

Hmm… It seems to be true; his stomach was hurting more fiercely.

The heavy door not far away was pushed open, and the ruckus of Song Ling’s chatter entered, restoring some lively air to the once quiet room.

Ji Ruan clenched his fist, pressing hard against his stomach, and barely straightened up.

“Plop.”

A glass of milk appeared beside him, the sound of the glass colliding with the marble tabletop crisp and clear.

Ji Ruan looked at the cup of steaming milk, his thoughts drifting aimlessly once again.

“Ji Ruan.” A large hand covered the back of his neck, the warm temperature making Ji Ruan shiver slightly.

Gu Xiuyi leaned down to meet his gaze, a slight frown between his brows, his features deep in the flickering light:

“Where does it hurt?”

Ji Ruan stared blankly into his eyes, seeing the unmasked concern within. He felt somehow burned by this emotion, instinctively pushing Gu Xiuyi’s hand away.

“N-no, it’s fine…” He avoided Gu Xiuyi’s gaze and, as if to cover it up, lifted the milk cup to his lips. Before he could take a sip, the pain in his stomach suddenly intensified: “Ugh!”

In that moment, Ji Ruan’s chilly stomach felt as if it had been forcefully hammered by an ice mallet, freezing all his insides, and cold sweat streamed down his back.

He slammed the cup back onto the table, the milk splashing onto the back of his hand unnoticed, as he pressed hard against his upper abdomen.

“Ji Ruan?”

Gu Xiuyi only saw Ji Ruan tremble violently, then bend over deeply as if unable to endure the pain, his back trembling in waves.

He steadied Ji Ruan with one hand, placing his palm over Ji Ruan’s tightly clenched fist resting on his stomach, feeling how cold his hand was like ice:

“Is it stomach pain? Is your stomach uncomfortable?”

The sudden turn of events startled both Song Ling and Li Sui’an.

Song Ling peered closely at Ji Ruan’s face beside Gu Xiuyi, which was pale to the point of being terrifying, and awkwardly asked, “What’s going on? Has he eaten something bad?”

“Bullshit!” Li Sui’an interrupted, “I swear he hasn’t eaten anything since getting here!”

Li Sui’an was frightened; Ji Ruan had been entrusted to him by Gu Xiuyi, and since that kid was in such fragile health, if anything happened, Lao Gu would definitely kill him.

He locked eyes with Gu Xiuyi and felt a chilly shiver run down his spine.

Alright, no need to wait for “what if” anymore; Lao Gu looked ready to kill him right now.

Gu Xiuyi held Ji Ruan in his arms, patiently coaxing him for a while before Ji Ruan finally relaxed a bit, resting his chin on Gu Xiuyi’s shoulder and giving a weak “mm”.

Gu Xiuyi wiped Ji Ruan’s sweat, scanning the table and spotting a regular glass filled with plain water. He tapped the cup with the back of his hand, which felt ice-cold.

Li Sui’an knew what Gu Xiuyi was thinking just by seeing his actions and immediately waved his hands: “He didn’t drink it!”

He didn’t know when he had already retreated behind Song Ling, as if fearing Gu Xiuyi might throw a punch at him, speaking at lightning speed:

“The water was poured by me, but there was not a single ice cube. It’s just plain mineral water, and he really hasn’t taken even a sip. It’s definitely not because of that!”

Gu Xiuyi calmly withdrew his hand, realizing it had nothing to do with the water. Although Ji Ruan’s stomach wasn’t ideal, it shouldn’t get hurt just from drinking some cold water; it had to be another issue.

He bent down to carefully observe Ji Ruan’s condition, and while it seemed he was improving a bit, he still looked weak, his lips pale.

He didn’t waste any more time and pulled Ji Ruan close, lifting him up around the waist:

“Let’s go.”

“Oh right,” Li Sui’an wiped his sweat: “Quick, let’s go to the hospital. It must be nothing serious!”

At such a time, Song Ling demonstrated his professionalism, staying calm beside Gu Xiuyi: “I just called the driver; he should be arriving soon.”

Gu Xiuyi gave him an appreciative look.

Song Ling maintained a steady expression, and internally he felt delighted, as if he heard the sound of coins dropping, knowing that his bonus for this month would probably increase a little.

Gu Xiuyi rushed Ji Ruan to the hospital, itching to conduct a full-body examination from head to toe on him.

Ji Ruan nestled in the treatment room chair while awaiting the results, aware that he didn’t have major issues. It was probably just the stomach pain caused by heightened emotions; didn’t people say that the stomach is the organ most easily affected by emotions?

Even before the examination, he felt somewhat resistant, as he guessed nothing serious would come up, and the doctor would deduce that he was suffering from too much psychological pressure.

Maybe Gu Xiuyi would then question him about what he was worried about.

Is that something he could say?

He definitely couldn’t mention that he had almost thought he might be tormented by the “white moonlight” in the future.

Nor could he say he felt a bit like he was falling for Gu Xiuyi, which scared him into stomach pains, right?

Saying either would be very strange.

“Ah…” Ji Ruan let out a light sigh, pressing his forehead.

In the next second, his hand was held. Gu Xiuyi’s warm body heat transmitted to him.

Gu Xiuyi squatted down in front of Ji Ruan, placing his palm on Ji Ruan’s stomach: “Does it still hurt? Any nausea? Should I call the doctor over?”

Earlier, while in the car, Ji Ruan had felt cold all over, especially his palms and chest, which were icy, making him shiver and hug himself; Gu Xiuyi had warmed him for quite a while before he felt slightly better.

Because of that, Ji Ruan now felt a bit jittery; when he heard Gu Xiuyi sigh, he sensed his own discomfort.

There was no helping it; after all, this kid just looked too intimidating when sick.

“Um, no…”

Ji Ruan scratched his nose, not even realizing he had spoken. Gu Xiuyi took it as him being overwhelmed and started asking all sorts of questions, making Ji Ruan feel a bit embarrassed.

Moreover, now that his body had warmed up and his stomach felt much better, only a lingering discomfort remained.

Ji Ruan felt he could be discharged from the hospital right now, he didn’t want to occupy the medical resources any longer.

“Yo,” the door to the treatment room wasn’t closed, and when the doctor walked in and saw this scene, he looked a bit surprised: “Still not feeling well?”

Gu Xiuyi’s brows furrowed tightly, preemptively saying before Ji Ruan could speak: “Yes, he was just in pain and cried out.”

Ji Ruan pressed his lips together: “I didn’t!”

“Is that so?” The doctor immediately lowered his head to look at the report, showing puzzlement: “That shouldn’t be…”

Both of their opinions were simultaneously overlooked.

Ji Ruan: “…”

He felt so embarrassed that his face was turning red.

“It’s fine.” Gu Xiuyi wrapped his arms around his shoulders and gently patted him: “If you’re sick, we’ll just treat it properly. It’s okay.”

Ji Ruan’s face was now very red, his eyes almost glowing with blush. His lashes were long and straight, distinct from each other, glimmering with moisture, making him look quite pitiful and easily elicit sympathy.

He tugged at Gu Xiuyi’s sleeve and whispered, “I really feel fine now. Let’s go back…”

But Gu Xiuyi seemed to think he was being tough and lightly brushed the corner of his eye: “Be good.”

The doctor walked over to assess Ji Ruan’s condition: “It should be fine now; it’s just a matter of having your stomach cool down, which would cause discomfort. You drank some warm water and took medicine. If it were other young people his age, they’d have been running around by now.”

Ji Ruan was startled: “Cold stomach? …Is it really just that?”

Gu Xiuyi’s big hand still occasionally felt along Ji Ruan’s belly. Ji Ruan swatted it away, but it wasn’t long before Gu Xiuyi was poking again.

The doctor caught sight of their little interactions, shook his head, and took a sip of coffee.

“Yep, that’s it. The weather has been so fickle lately; you should go check the pediatrics next door,” he waved his arm grandly. “There’s a whole row of these symptoms, nothing serious about it. The cold has caught them, their stomachs are just a bit weak.”

…

Just this?

How could that be possible?

Ji Ruan couldn’t believe it.

Wasn’t he overthinking everything due to excessive sentimentality? He had genuinely felt melancholic back at the bar!

Though now he wasn’t feeling that down anymore…

But how could it possibly be because of a childish ailment from the pediatrics next door?

Ji Ruan couldn’t accept it and would even prefer if it were psychological factors.

Gu Xiuyi didn’t find it strange at all for Ji Ruan to be sick like a kid. He relaxed his expression, though still maintained some seriousness.

He squeezed Ji Ruan’s palm: “Then let’s arrange for a hospitalization.”

?!

What is he saying?!

Ji Ruan quickly grabbed Gu Xiuyi’s clothing, embarrassment flooding his face: “I’m fine!”

The doctor, holding the thermos cup, paused in mid-air, his lips slightly parted. Ji Ruan could feel the doctor’s speechlessness through the air.

“Um, this relative…” The doctor hesitated: “There’s really no need for hospitalization. If the patient has a weaker constitution, just go home, get a good night’s sleep, keep warm, and take the medicine again in the morning. That will be absolutely fine.”

He took a couple of steps forward, gesturing outside, exasperated: “Just look at how tight our hospital beds are. That row of pediatrics next door? With children throwing up and having diarrhea, we can only fit them in the hallway. How are we going to make room for more patients here?”

Ji Ruan shut his eyes, not wanting to hear the words “pediatrics next door” anymore.

The doctor looked at the two before him as if they were crazy, their expressions quite odd.

This relative and his patient were just a bit peculiar, one not wanting to believe he was sick, the other thinking his illness was severe enough to require hospitalization.

In this day and age, who wouldn’t go out of their way to avoid the hospital? He had never seen a family member so eager to be admitted.

Ji Ruan couldn’t hold back any longer, gripping Gu Xiuyi’s sleeve: “Let’s just go home. This hospital isn’t your family’s…”

Then he saw Gu Xiuyi turn around, a difficult-to-describe emotion hidden beneath his calm expression.

“Sorry,” he said.

“?”

“I forgot.”

He forgot this was a public hospital.

Indeed it wasn’t his family’s hospital.

“…?!”

Ji Ruan pressed his forehead deeply.