HISO Chapter 81
by VolareChapter 81: The Hurt of Being Ignored
Recalling last night, in the middle of the night, he used his ability to make flowers bloom all over the first floor, and then went back to take another look.
He saw the youth on the bed with cheeks flushed for some reason.
Sensing his approach, the youth became disoriented and burrowed straight into his arms, even trying to hook him with a long leg, wet red lips constantly muttering, “No more…”
No more what?
Was he having a nightmare?
His thoughts were in a mess. He subconsciously thought the youth was sick and quickly held him in his arms to check his temperature.
Before long, the youth seemed to have fallen into some dream and quieted down considerably.
Only then did Xie Jinsheng recover and try to put him down.
But who knew, the Omega was unusually proactive, grabbing him and refusing to let him go. Even in his sleep, he still used his soft, warm little face to gently rub against his chest.
Extremely dependent.
Of course, he didn’t leave in the end.
Instead, he held the fragrant, soft, and utterly helpless little Omega in his arms, sleeping face-to-face.
The Omega didn’t know if he was having a terrible dream. His waist and legs were constantly trembling, and he clung to him tightly, occasionally letting out a few whimpers that made his throat dry.
When leaving this morning.
Even his fair, straight long legs tangled around him haphazardly.
Almost making him lose control.
He thought that Yu An was still somewhat concerned about him subconsciously; otherwise, how could he have been so proactive after falling asleep? They still had a chance to reconcile along the way.
But looking at him now, the youth was huddled in a ball, barely daring to breathe, wishing he could be five meters away from him.
A far cry from the tenderness of last night.
Xie Jinsheng’s eyes darkened.
The more he looked, the more of an impulse he felt.
–He wanted to grab this frail Omega into his arms and take a bite.
No way, did someone really think that by painting his face like a little cat with freckles, he wouldn’t recognize him?
Even if he turned into white bones, died and became ashes.
He would never forget the faint fragrance on his body, haunting his dreams, making him lose control every time.
Not only did he want to smell it every night, but even in his dreams, he wanted to smell it, wanting to be closer and closer to him like crazy, wishing he could do something bad to him on the spot…
But when his gaze fell on the reflection in the glass, staring at the youth’s trembling, slender figure, Xie Jinsheng paused again.
…Since when had he become so timid?
Even wanting to touch this gentle youth made him overthink.
Tentacled monsters have always been unrestrained creatures, liking something, they would plunder it, not caring if they ruined it.
Because they were inherently destructive creatures, their blood flowing with malicious factors, extremely enjoying the pleasure of unilaterally possessing their prey, not caring about their prey’s life or death.
But facing Yu An.
His addiction to him had long exceeded the boundaries of a monster treating prey. Even, Xie Jinsheng felt that sometimes he was the prey.
Because he wouldn’t care about his own life or death, only willing to let Yu An enjoy himself.
His heart would also follow his beating uncontrollably.
It was as if the reason he could feel that he was still alive at this moment was all because of Yu An’s existence.
But this youth actually… refused to even get close to him?
A slight sourness spread through his heart.
The snow was falling again, the car windows automatically closed tightly, and the heating was turned up a bit.
Omega’s instincts made Yu An sense a certain danger. His back trembled slightly, and he wanted to turn tail and run.
But reason told him that there was nothing dangerous here.
All that was here was Xie Jinsheng.
He didn’t dare to twist his neck and look around, staying quietly still.
The tapping gradually stopped.
Immediately afterward, the car window made a sound.
He was stunned and then quietly moved his eyes, only to see the man leaning against the car window, his eyes closed, not knowing when he had fallen asleep.
Was he tired?
Or was he sick?
Yu An was stunned for a few seconds and quickly asked, “System 089, what’s wrong with Xie Jinsheng?”
His words carried a bit of unconscious concern.
The System immediately checked: [Eh, his ability seems to have leaked a lot. He’s currently in hibernation to recover.]
Was it because he fought too many people in the arena before?
Actually, after Utopia, Yu An vaguely guessed that the top-ranked mercenary on the new list that caused a group of Omegas to discuss in the tea room should be Xie Jinsheng.
He didn’t expect this man to be so desperate to regain his memory, even willing to come into the crowd now, enduring the noise.
So, even if those pasts were painful, he still wanted to remember them?
Were they that important?
If life had hurt you, should you remember everything and take revenge, or treat it as if a fire had burned everything past and start over?
Yu An wasn’t sure what he felt in his heart. He only knew that he wasn’t Xie Jinsheng and was destined to not be able to empathize with certain things.
But there was some heartache constantly spreading in his heart.
If he could have met him earlier, would there have been a different possibility for Xie Jinsheng’s life?
Or perhaps, if he wasn’t a host of the Space-Time Bureau, didn’t need to do tasks, and didn’t need to carry burdens, just came to this world as an ordinary transmigrator.
He probably wouldn’t have so many scruples.
Unfortunately, for the past hundred years since becoming a host, the rules of transmigrating into books had taught him to be callous, cold, unattached, and unconcerned.
Having been to too many worlds and seen too many people, he experienced the cycle of the mortal world like a passerby, with its rights and wrongs. He couldn’t possibly leave a trace in anyone’s life, and he wouldn’t be remembered once he left.
In fact, even System 089 didn’t know the reason why he always chose to be a villainous cannon fodder.
It was that the role had little enough screen time.
He didn’t have to build feelings with others.
Because he never liked parting, nor did he like death and forgetting.
In his childhood, his parents were in a car accident and left him.
He became an unwanted wild child, going to and from school alone, learning to take care of himself. Classmates laughed at him for being an orphan, asking why no one came to parent-teacher conferences, how he lost his parents at the age of ten, and threw stones at him.
The most profound night in his memory was when someone blocked him at the back door. He didn’t dare to go home, so he huddled in the corner of the school wall all night without coming out.
At that time, looking at the empty stars, the dark night as black as mud, he thought he would spend his whole life like this.
Later, one day, the director of an orphanage took him in, pulled him out of the mud, and taught him to look forward.
He naively thought that would be eternal, until the old director also left him.
At the age of eighteen, he was alone again.
Probably in this life, nothing can be eternal. What you think you can hold, what you once had, is nothing more than quicksand in your palm, destined to dissipate with time.
He was always without a home.
Without a fixed residence, without a place to return to.
Therefore, seeing Xie Jinsheng, who also had no home, alone, he felt so touched.
If there was a chance, when he had collected the keys and destroyed them, when the world was at peace and he was about to leave here.
In any case, he would go to the Main City to beg, so that others could accept Xie Jinsheng, so that this man… could have a place to stay in this era.
No longer be ridiculed and rejected, nor be trapped by the suffering in his memory, could have a future with blossoming flowers.
The System 089 next to him was constantly scanning Xie Jinsheng, secretly muttering strangely.
Why was this man unconscious again?
Last time in Utopia, he also fainted particularly strangely, without any major illness all over his body, just unable to wake up next to its host.
Even if a tentacled monster was hibernating, it couldn’t have such a weak sense of vigilance, right?
System 089’s CPU was burning a bit from thinking, wondering what disease this man had. When it looked back, it was surprised: [Host, what’s wrong with you?]
Why were you crying?
“…Nothing.” Yu An came back to his senses, quickly wiped the corners of his eyes, and suppressed his past thoughts.
Seeing that Xie Jinsheng had fallen into hibernation and there was nothing else wrong.
He wasn’t so nervous, so he began to think about business.
The goal of this mission was to mix into Chasing Shadow Squad 1 for three days, protect his gender identity and his little life.
This time the fake Alpha was made at a great cost, so he shouldn’t be discovered by others.
As for Xie Jinsheng…
Yu An hadn’t figured it out yet.
Suddenly, he saw a tentacle probing out from behind Xie Jinsheng’s waist.
Yu An: “…”
He wanted to ignore it forcefully.
However, this dark tentacle seemed to recognize him and quickly crawled over, affectionately rubbing against his soft fingertips.
Seeing that he wasn’t repulsed, it slowly approached.
Yu An paused for a few seconds.
Because he inexplicably saw a bit of… the hurt of being ignored and sadness from this cautious action.
They had missed him especially during these days of separation.