GB Chapter 42

The fall of the Western Liang Dynasty began with the disappearance of the new emperor. The royal family fought endlessly for the throne. In the end, the head of the Xuan Sect intervened and wiped out all the participating royals, and the Zhao family of Western Liang fell into decline, leading to the current Li Dynasty. Zhao Huai’an and Zhao Jicheng were the only descendants of the Zhao family left after the change of dynasties.

Zhao Huai’an’s father, Prince Liang, was the eldest prince of Western Liang. Because he was not the legitimate son, he was enfeoffed as a prince and withdrew from the struggle for the throne. After the sudden disappearance of the third prince who succeeded to the throne, he launched a rebellion, ultimately dying under the sword of the Xuan Sect’s leader.

That year, Zhao Huai’an was only twelve years old. Before the war, his world consisted only of ink and books. All the teachers he had were convinced that he would become a master of painting. However, in just a few days, the once-intimate imperial uncle became a mortal enemy, and the gentle and reliable father turned into a cold corpse in the palace. They were also transformed from the honorable Prince Liang’s heir into refugees fleeing for their lives.

Once a war begins, it does not end easily. Even though the Xuan Sect intervened to suppress further turmoil, small-scale conflicts never stopped. In such a turbulent environment, Zhao Huai’an knew that Chang’an, the center of the power struggle, was not safe. The servants at home had long fled when his father died, and the family’s wealth was also looted. He could not distinguish who was an enemy and who was a friend, so he could only take his younger brother and escape.

Zhao Huai’an was born disliking conflict and only loved calligraphy and painting. But at that time, in order to conceal his identity and support his brother, he had worked as a handyman, served as a slave, and even killed many people. They hid in the countryside, and Zhao Huai’an’s hands, which were praised by the Confucian scholars as being born to hold a brush, slowly became calloused by life. Until one day, a group of cultivators claiming to be friends of his father found them and brought them into the Tian Shu Pavilion.

The Tian Shu Pavilion and Prince Liang did indeed have a connection, and Prince Liang had given them a lot of financial support in the past. However, they were not looking for Prince Liang’s heir out of old friendship, but for the Book of Heaven Without Words that Prince Liang had snatched from the palace before his death.

In this era where cultivators are everywhere, the reason why the court can stand firm is the imperial destiny contract that the emperor has as the Son of Heaven. Even if they were just ordinary people without the power to restrain a chicken, as long as the enthronement ceremony was completed, the emperor would immediately be possessed by a true dragon, having power comparable to a cultivator transcending tribulation. The royal family never disclosed the process, and even the major sects of the martial world only knew that to conclude the contract, one must first obtain the Book of Heaven Without Words passed down by the Western Liang royal family.

Such a treasure that could lead to a meteoric rise was extremely tempting to any cultivator. When the Tian Shu Pavilion appeared, Zhao Huai’an knew that he and his brother could not escape, so he took the initiative to hand over the Book of Heaven Without Words and exchanged it for an elder position in the pavilion with the condition of cooperating with the Tian Shu Pavilion’s research. As a descendant of the imperial family, he had to compromise with the martial world cultivators and even give up the royal treasure. Zhao Huai’an did not want his younger brother to endure such humiliation and only told him that his father’s friends had come to save them, and they would no longer have to live a life of displacement.

Looking back now, perhaps everything went wrong from this point. If they could have died at that moment when the two brothers relied on each other and trusted each other, in order to protect the dignity of the royal family, they would definitely be much happier than they are now.

The enemies of Western Liang were the Xuan Sect and the newly established court, which coincided with the Tian Shu Pavilion’s interests. Therefore, while using them to research the usage of the Book of Heaven Without Words, the Tian Shu Pavilion also gave them the best cultivation techniques and allowed them to find good teachers to learn from. Zhao Huai’an knew that this was to maximize the use of them, but in Zhao Jicheng’s eyes, the Tian Shu Pavilion were saviors who had rescued them from a miserable life.

Zhao Jicheng did not understand why his elder brother could endure the insults of those commoners and even allow others to order him around at will. He only thought that this elder brother, who only knew how to bury himself in books and paintings at home, was born without any backbone. He could not become such a person, so he had to work hard to cultivate in order to avenge their father.

At that time, Zhao Jicheng did not know that after the demise of Western Liang, they were just two children who did not understand the ways of the world. Their ability to survive was even worse than the common people of the same age because they had been raised in luxury. Zhao Huai’an chose to face the cruel world himself because he was the elder brother and it was his responsibility to protect his younger brother.

When Zhao Jicheng was crying in his bed because of the poor living conditions, Zhao Huai’an was staying up all night working to prepare for their next day’s meals; when Zhao Jicheng was beaten until he could not get out of bed because he resisted the bullying of thugs, Zhao Huai’an found the thugs’ residence alone and killed them all; later, when Zhao Jicheng finally became a core disciple of the Tian Shu Pavilion and was able to hold his head high in the martial world, it was also Zhao Huai’an who single-handedly endured Yu Qing’s bloodline experiments in exchange for his younger brother’s peaceful life.

Zhao Huai’an did not tell his younger brother any of this. He understood that in this world where the strong are respected, without power, everything is original sin. Therefore, he never rested, working hard to cultivate, to learn how to control people’s hearts, to improve his status in the Tian Shu Pavilion, and to maintain the beautiful world in Zhao Jicheng’s eyes.

At that time, whenever he was about to collapse, Zhao Huai’an would tell himself that he must become useful to the Tian Shu Pavilion. Only in this way could his younger brother grow up carefree. Then, he could go on with a gentle smile, as if he were very happy, as he had in the past.

Fortunately, the moment of change finally came. After various demonic experiments, Yu Qing finally concluded that the Book of Heaven Without Words could only be used by the Zhao family’s bloodline. The Tian Shu Pavilion was in urgent need of a cultivator who had transcended tribulation to fight against the Xuan Sect, so they became important secret weapons. Soon after, Yu Qing suddenly disappeared, and Zhao Huai’an took the opportunity to take over all of his forces and quickly became the new person in power in the Tian Shu Pavilion. The torment had finally come to an end.

How he endured Yu Qing’s madness, how he schemed and won over people, and how he dealt with his opponents’ calculations, Zhao Huai’an did not want to recall. He only knew that he had finally done it. He became the head of the Tian Shu Pavilion, and from then on, no one in the world could bully them anymore. But when the wish he had been enduring for many years was finally achieved, he could not find anything to be happy about. Zhao Jicheng had also been busy and had not spoken to him for a long time. After thinking for a long time, he finally found some paper and brushes and, for the first time in a long time, painted a landscape again.

His painting skills had not deteriorated, but the mood he had when holding the brush could no longer return to the joy and happiness he had in his youth. However, being able to do something he once liked again was something to be happy about.

But he did not know that in Zhao Jicheng’s eyes, his elder brother had only been busy writing and painting since he entered the Tian Shu Pavilion, neither mentioning revenge nor interfering in the disputes of the world. He was simply useless, but even so, he had become the new leader of the Tian Shu Pavilion by relying on the Book of Heaven Without Words. His luck was simply too good. Such a weak person could not shoulder the responsibility of unifying the world, so he chose to betray him.

Zhao Jicheng’s actions could not be hidden from Zhao Huai’an, who had already taken control of the Tian Shu Pavilion. But he did nothing. From the day he escaped from Chang’an at the age of twelve, he had given up everything just to let this younger brother live well.

The aloof arrogance of being Prince Liang’s heir had long been eroded by reality during his exile. This body, which had had its bone marrow extracted and its kidneys taken by Yu Qing, had also become accustomed to all kinds of pain. If his younger brother wanted the position of leader, he did not mind giving it up. However, he still wanted to take a gamble. If the younger brother he had loved with all his life did not have even a trace of brotherly affection for him, then his life would be too meaningless.

When the formation surrounded the study, he was still holding a brush and painting at his desk. Although the strokes he drew were all beautiful scenery, the reality was a mess.

At that time, the man, who was still young-looking, raised his eyes to look at the younger brother who was approaching with a sword. His ink-washed clothes were lifted by the cool breeze, and a chill spread throughout his body, but his face still carried that indifferent smile, as if nothing could faze him. He only said softly, “You are my own brother. I thought you wouldn’t kill me.”

“It is precisely because you are a person who is easily swayed by emotions that I cannot entrust the great task of restoring Western Liang to you.”

Even until the end, there was no hesitation in Zhao Jicheng’s eyes. He knew that his elder brother could not shoulder the responsibility of the world and had no intention of restoring Western Liang. This person had always been a failure, afraid to fight, unwilling to struggle, and able to live his entire life with just those books and paintings.

The Tian Shu Pavilion did not need such a leader. Only he could fulfill the ambitions of everyone in the pavilion, and only he still remembered to avenge his father. Zhao Huai’an, who had forgotten all this, was not qualified to inherit the Book of Heaven Without Words. Therefore, he would replace his elder brother and become the best leader of the Tian Shu Pavilion.

He cut off his elder brother’s head, used a technique to change his face with Zhao Huai’an’s, and proudly left a vow to the headless corpse that was buried under the fallen painting, “Brother, I will use your appearance to lead the Tian Shu Pavilion to unify the world and complete everything you could not do. You, rest peacefully in the underworld and watch carefully.”

Zhao Jicheng had never understood why Zhao Huai’an had remained young. At that time, facing his younger brother’s complaints, Zhao Huai’an only smiled silently. He had encountered misfortune at too young an age. If he could, he still wanted to try to rely on another person again, still wanted to try to be loved by someone again, and still wanted to be able to cry about the past years without any reservations. Even if it was only in appearance, he wanted to keep himself as a young man and wait for that person to arrive.

This was his greatest mistake, wasn’t it? He had always longed to be loved, but he never learned how to love another person in the right way. The only thing he knew how to do was to do his best to give the other person the best things, but such one-sided giving was not enough. Therefore, Zhao Jicheng, who had once leaned on him and treated him as his whole world, had finally disappeared.

Was it because he had never mentioned his pain to his younger brother? But was it wrong to not want his most important family member to worry about him, to want to solve everything and let his younger brother live without any worries?

Zhao Huai’an had endured the hardship of having nothing and had also overcome the many hidden dangers of the Tian Shu Pavilion. He thought he had the ability to face all the difficulties in the world, but in the end, he lost completely in front of human hearts.

Until the last moment, the man’s head that fell was still smiling faintly, just like the countless times he had hidden his wounds and walked in front of Zhao Jicheng. If he did not smile, he would definitely cry. Therefore, he could only smile.

This was the memory of the ghost god Zhao Huai’an. Faced with the butcher’s knife of his younger brother, he did not put up any resistance. This was Zhao Huai’an’s final act of love for Zhao Jicheng, but until his death, he did not receive even the slightest response.

The obsessions of ghost gods are the love and hatred that are difficult to resolve in this world. Fang Suihan is obsessed with the Xi Shang Kingdom that will never return, and what Zhao Huai’an cannot let go of is the desire to be loved by Zhao Jicheng. But, it was impossible to go back. From the day he died, they could never be the close brothers they once were.

He wandered in the world for a long time, and finally met Zhu Ge Qingtian, who no longer wanted to exist in the world. Zhao Huai’an fulfilled his wish as a young man, swallowed his soul, and became a new ghost god. Then, he sealed this past and from then on, wandered in the remote mountains with the memory of Zhu Ge Qingtian.

This was the origin of the God of Joy and Mourning, Zhuge Qingtian. He was formed from the fusion of two souls who yearned to be loved, only to fulfill their common wish—to hope to be loved properly once, to hope that the heart that was given would not be let down, and to hope that this time they could meet the right person.

Master, I have also experienced the martial world you speak of, but I would rather I had never come. It’s only because the people around me are different, so why is there such a big difference?

Even now, I still sincerely hope that if you had been the one who first appeared in front of Zhao Huai’an, how much better it would have been.

Author’s note: Zhuge Qingtian: My face is gone, I’m going to cry.

Qian Ren: It’s just a face pinch, I’ll give you a new account to level up to max.

Zhuge Qingtian: But I’ve turned into an old man like Grand Master!

He Huan: Shut up, two hundred years old is still a young man in the world of cultivators!

Qian Ren: Your mental age can’t be more than three.

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