ASSHKHME Chapter 85

Chapter 85: Psychological Counseling Room

Perhaps out of a doctor’s professional ethics, or perhaps out of respect for others’ sexual orientation, Ling Xu didn’t react in any special way to his “boyfriend” comment.

He simply opened the patient record book, uncapped his pen, and asked gently, “Would you mind telling me about your boyfriend’s traumatic experiences? Rest assured, I will keep patient confidentiality.”

Xie Yu took a sip of warm water, and under Ling Xu’s gentle gaze, slowly recounted what he knew of Chen Zhuo’s past.

Perhaps there is no true empathy in the world, but every word, every statement that came out of his mouth felt like a needle piercing his heart, densely packed with aching pain.

“From the time I met him until now, I haven’t seen him take any medication. I can confirm that he’s off his medication. Except for being frightened on stormy days, his studies and life are usually normal. But today, when we went to my house for dinner, he suddenly seemed very anxious and panicked…”

Xie Yu nervously gripped his water glass and asked tentatively, “Doctor, is his condition relapsing?”

Ling Xu scribbled in the record book with his pen. “Is this the first time he’s visited your home?”

Xie Yu denied, “No, he’s been there once before. He chatted well with my parents and spoke eloquently.”

Ling Xu nodded and asked, “The last time he went to your house, were you two officially together?”

Xie Yu shook his head. “No, we were just ordinary roommates at the time, maybe… a little ambiguous.”

Ling Xu wrote “change” in the record book and said, “Based on your description, I can roughly judge that your boyfriend is in a state of insecurity in interpersonal relationships. Before you were together, he could face your parents normally, but after you were together, he felt intense pressure facing your parents again.”

He continued, “You said a key sentence just now, you said that he told you that your mother’s care reminded him of his own mother.”

Xie Yu nodded. “Yes, he felt very guilty, saying that he was destroying my family harmony.”

Ling Xu said, “Having lost his parents at a young age, and experiencing a long-term lack of family affection, he envies you for having a complete and harmonious family, and cherishes the kindness and care from elders. So when facing your mother’s concern for him, he feels a strong sense of guilt.”

He continued to ask, “Is he very afraid of your parents finding out about your relationship? And does he show a high degree of panic?”

Xie Yu nodded. “Yes, he’s very afraid, and he’s putting that pressure on himself. Even if I tell him that this is a problem I should solve, it doesn’t help much.”

Ling Xu adjusted his glasses and looked at him gently. “The essence of his fear of being discovered by your parents is his fear that you will break up with him.”

Xie Yu was stunned. “What? But I’ve said many times that I will always love him.”

Ling Xu smiled slightly. “Your growth environments are different, which leads to different attitudes towards love.”

“You live in a family where your parents love each other, and you instinctively believe in the idea of loving only one person for a lifetime.”

“But he’s different. He has no parents to rely on, and he’s lived a cautious, dependent life for a long time. Therefore, his view of love is more realistic than yours. He considers things much more than you do, such as your age, and your parents’ attitude.”

“He already has post-traumatic stress disorder, and his nerves are more sensitive than others, but the outburst of all emotions is not accidental. It is the result of long-term pressure. You can recall whether he has negative emotions about your relationship.”

Xie Yu frowned slightly, remembering Chen Zhuo crying and asking him after getting drunk that day, “Xie Yu, will you always love me?”

Xie Yu looked down at the glass in his hand and said with difficulty, “It’s my fault for not being good enough, for not giving him enough security, and for not noticing his abnormal emotional fluctuations. Doctor, what should I do? Will his condition relapse?”

Ling Xu looked at the young and immature teenager in front of him who wanted to protect his lover, and felt quite emotional.

When people get older, they become realistic and utilitarian. He probably won’t experience such pure and flawless love in his life.

He said, “Give him emotional feedback, pay more attention to his small emotions in daily life, guide him to express his thoughts and vent his emotions in a timely manner, express your love more, and strengthen his confidence in love.”

“Exercise is a good way to relax. You can find a common hobby together, play ball, run, go out for walks when you have nothing to do, and get in touch with nature.”

“Most importantly, don’t avoid seeing a doctor. If necessary, you can use medication as an aid.”

Xie Yu nodded, and was about to speak when his phone vibrated. It was a message from Chen Zhuo: 【I’m up, the cattle and horses have to work for Party A, I’m so bitter, grumbling.jpg.】

Xie Yu chuckled softly.

Realizing that Ling Xu was still there, he glanced at the time. Today’s consultation was about to end, so he cleared his throat, “Doctor, I’ve written down everything you said today. Thank you.”

Ling Xu took a sip of water. “You’re welcome. You’re Xiao Qi’s best friend. Outside of work, you can call me Uncle Ling.”

Xie Yu stood up, preparing to leave. “Okay, thank you, Uncle Ling, for today. I’ll go back now.”

Ling Xu also stood up. “Okay, I’ll see you out. Contact me anytime if you need anything.”

Ling Xu saw Xie Yu out the door and said with emotion, “It’s good to be young, everything is fiery and sincere.”

The secretary came over to remind him, “Dr. Ling, Mr. Xu’s appointment is in twenty minutes.”

Ling Xu responded, “Okay, I know.”

This Mr. Xu is very interesting.

Ling Xu has been a psychologist for many years and has seen too many people who hurt themselves and others for love, but he has never seen someone like him who makes things difficult for himself.

He wants to fight for it but is afraid of disturbing the other person’s happiness, he wants to give up but is unwilling, living too twisted a life.

——Thoughts returned to last Thursday, in the psychological counseling room.

Ling Xu asked, “Do you want to possess him?”

Mr. Xu said, “I’m afraid of hurting him.”

Ling Xu closed the record book and made a judgment: “Mr. Xu, your psychology is very healthy. I don’t think liking someone who doesn’t like you needs treatment.”

Mr. Xu leaned back in the therapy chair and said calmly, “I know, I just want to find someone to confide in. Psychologists are very discreet, aren’t they?”

Ling Xu closed his pen and put it in his chest pocket with a “click”. “Okay, but my consultation fee is a thousand yuan an hour.”

Mr. Xu was expressionless. “Well, not much.”