ASSHKHME Chapter 115

Chapter 115: Making the Puppy Mad

When Xie Yu’s barrage of phone calls came, Yang Fan was happily scrolling through Twitter, appreciating some “art.” The sudden ringing of his phone startled him so badly he almost dropped it on his face.

Yang Fan quickly answered, but before he could even say “Hello,” Xie Yu’s anxious and fiery voice burst out: “Fanzi, where are you guys right now? Why isn’t Chen Zhuo replying to my messages! What’s he doing?!”

Yang Fan rubbed his ear and peeked at Chen Zhuo, who was lying in bed, sleeping soundly. Confused, he replied, “What’s wrong, Yu-ge? We’re in the dorm. Zhuo’er had a bit to drink, and he’s already asleep.”

Hearing that Chen Zhuo was safe, Xie Yu finally relaxed a little, his tone becoming heavy: “Tell Chen Zhuo to call me back when he wakes up! Hanging up.”

“…Huh?” Yang Fan stared at the disconnected phone, scratching his head in confusion.

He couldn’t understand why Xie Yu was so anxious. Could a grown man really get lost at a gathering of international students? Was he afraid of a Gatling gun going “da-da-da-da-da?”

Yang Fan always felt that Chen Zhuo and Xie Yu’s relationship was a bit strange. He had a younger brother who was only two years younger than him, and they had grown up together, bickering and fighting, but their relationship wasn’t as… intimate as these two.

He’d been in New York for over two months, and he and his brother barely exchanged three sentences a week. But Chen Zhuo and Xie Yu chatted and video-called each other every day!

It wasn’t an exaggeration to say that whenever Yang Fan saw Chen Zhuo holding his phone and chatting, if he asked casually, the answer would definitely be Xie Yu.

Yang Fan, being a straight man, had been exposed to the “free and open” atmosphere for two months, and coupled with the fact that he often saw gay couples holding hands on campus, and even kissing in the street in bolder cases, his brain had become a little more flexible.

Yang Fan slapped his forehead, a complicated expression on his face as he looked at Chen Zhuo’s bed.

He remembered that on the plane to New York, Chen Zhuo had told him that he had a boyfriend. But he hadn’t seen him video call any girls in all this time. Could his boyfriend be…

Yang Fan’s face was filled with shock as he muttered to himself, “No way… could it be Yu-ge?”

He sat up, feeling a little regretful, and scratched his hair, not because he was repulsed by or discriminated against gay people.

It was because, during his first week sharing a dorm with Chen Zhuo, he had been walking around the dorm naked after showering, until he was naturally dry before putting on his underwear.

“Oh, my dear god!” Yang Fan cried silently.

No wonder Chen Zhuo always looked at him with such a disgusted and incredulous expression, and always urged him to put on clothes.

He had thought that Chen Zhuo was just shy, and even invited Chen Zhuo to scrub each other’s backs to liberate their nature and return to nature, only to be scolded harshly without a single word being repeated before reluctantly putting on clothes.

Thinking of this, Yang Fan desperately hit his head against the pillow a few times.

His movements were too loud, and Chen Zhuo was awakened. He opened his eyes groggily and glared at him, muttering a long string of words. He didn’t hear clearly what he said, but it was probably cursing.

Yang Fan knew that Chen Zhuo was grumpy when he woke up, but he couldn’t resist the curiosity in his heart. Eager to know the answer, he called out softly, “Zhuo’er, your boyfriend is angry and wants you to call him back when you wake up.”

Hearing the sound, Chen Zhuo subconsciously covered his head in annoyance. After maybe three seconds, maybe five, he suddenly flipped over and sat up. “Crap! I forgot to report to Xie Yu! Where’s my phone? My phone…”

He threw back the blanket and got out of bed, shuffling around the dorm in his slippers, searching everywhere. Finally, he found his phone in the coat he had thrown on the desk. It was out of battery and turned off. He quickly found the charger and plugged it in.

While waiting for his phone to turn on, Chen Zhuo suddenly realized what Yang Fan had just said… boyfriend.

Chen Zhuo’s mind buzzed, and his spine tingled.

Although he got along well with Yang Fan, he wasn’t sure if this hardcore straight man could accept that his roommate was gay.

Chen Zhuo looked at Yang Fan, feigning composure. He saw that Yang Fan was staring at him with a resentful look. “You kept me in the dark.”

Chen Zhuo gripped his phone slightly tighter and said in a low voice, “If you mind, I can move out.”

“No, that’s not what I meant,” Yang Fan sat cross-legged on the bed, his pajamas neatly buttoned up. He didn’t know when he had put them on so properly. “I’m just surprised. I never thought that a gay person would be right next to me!”

He picked up the water glass on the table next to him and took a sip, smiling. “Hey, that’s pretty good too. It’s best if all the handsome guys in the world are gay! I’ll be the one to protect the goddesses!”

“What? Do you have someone you like?” Chen Zhuo asked casually, looking down at his phone, which was already turning on.

Yang Fan rubbed the tip of his nose shyly, bashfully. “Yeah, actually, the girl I like is in your class. The one with the round face who’s really cute, Zhang Jiajing, the cutest girl in your class. Ah, we’re actually being ambiguous right now. When we go back from studying abroad, I’ll confess to her.”

A dozen missed calls and 99+ WeChat messages were displayed on the phone screen.

The latest message was: [You dare to drink alcohol! You’re dead, Chen Zhuo!]

Chen Zhuo’s eyes went dark, and he cried out in his heart. It was over, Xie Yu was really angry.

He looked at Yang Fan, who was cupping his face and blushing shyly. “Oh, round face, cute, okay, good luck with your confession. Let me borrow your power bank for a bit.”

Yang Fan, who wanted to share his secret love history with him, paused in his emotions. “Ah? Power bank? It’s in my bag, you…”

Before Yang Fan could finish speaking, Chen Zhuo rummaged through his bag, found the power bank, and quickly connected it to his phone. “Well, I’m going out to make a phone call, okay? I’ll listen to you talk about Round Face when I get back.”

Yang Fan watched Chen Zhuo’s back as he strode out of the dorm, speechless. “What Round Face! It’s Jingjing! Go appease your Xie Yu!”

The October night in New York had a bit of a chill. Chen Zhuo sat on a long chair outside the student apartment and dialed Xie Yu’s cell phone number.

The other end was silent, only Xie Yu’s heavy breathing could be heard, indicating that he was still in an extremely angry mood.

Chen Zhuo asked guiltily, “You should be eating lunch right now, right?”

Xie Yu ultimately couldn’t hold back his temper and shouted, “I’m eating a fart for lunch! Do I have the mood to eat lunch?! Chen Zhuo, I originally didn’t like you going to random gatherings and meeting random people. Do you think that being abroad is like old friends meeting and shedding tears? It’s not! The people who lie to you are all your own people, do you understand? And you dared to get drunk!”

Chen Zhuo silently moved the phone a little further away and only brought his ear closer to the phone again after he had finished yelling.

He said gently and patiently, “Baby, I didn’t tell you in time after the party ended and I got back to the dorm, and I made you worry, it was my fault. This kind of thing won’t happen again in the future. But, I’m an adult with the ability to make judgments and I also have the ability to protect myself. Yang Fan and the others are also there. I didn’t drink much wine, I just didn’t expect that wine to be so strong…”

Xie Yu didn’t have any classes this morning and was outside following up on the project progress. He was so angry that he ran his hands through his hair, “You dare to drink blindly without knowing the alcohol content! Do you know how wild those rich second-generation foreign students play?! Do you know what you’re like when you’re drunk?! You…”

This time, before he could finish yelling, Chen Zhuo’s anger also flared up. “What are you yelling about! I’m asking you what you’re yelling about! What’s wrong with me drinking a little wine with my friends! Am I blind or stupid?! Can’t I tell whether people are good or bad?! What are you yelling at me for! What am I like when I’m drunk?! I have great drinking manners!”

Xie Yu’s temples throbbed from his yelling. “When you’re drunk, you’re either trying to give me a handy! Or you’re forcing me to go celibate! You call that having good drinking manners?!”

Chen Zhuo’s fire was extinguished, and his face was red, then white, then black. After a long while, he cursed, “You’re farting! Impossible! Not me! I didn’t! You’re lying!”

Xie Yu snorted angrily and sent a video of only ten seconds to Chen Zhuo’s phone.