MNL Chapter 102

Chapter 102: Ailment Until Death.

Chapter 102: Ailment Until Death.

The first time Cha Fei’ang met Xu Jing, he thought this guy had a terrible temper, always wearing a cold face, giving off a “don’t know you, get lost” vibe, making him hard to get along with. But after knowing him for a while, he found that Xu Jing wasn’t like that at all. He was a loyal friend; whenever his friends asked him for help, even if he cursed them out, he would still help in the end.

Linhe No.1 High School’s summer uniforms were a bit see-through. Before, some boys in the class openly discussed girls’ underwear near them. When Xu Jing heard it, he immediately threw a few books at them. If they hadn’t stopped him, those guys would definitely have been laid up at home for days after Xu Jing beat them. But since then, no boys dared to make such jokes in class again.

Based on these two points alone, Cha Fei’ang was sure that Xu Jing was not a cold-blooded person. Moreover, Xu Jing would also smile, although not often. But when he smiled, he always curled up one side of his mouth first, and the smile naturally spread, making him seem gentle. Sometimes, when something really hit his funny bone, his eyes would squint into crescent shapes.

But since the start of this semester, Cha Fei’ang felt that Xu Jing had completely changed.

He started to become extremely isolated, doing everything alone, not talking to others, not caring about the things around him. Usually, he was either buried in solving problems or staring out the window in a daze. He would only occasionally flip through Shen Yan’s textbooks, but he would put them back after a while. He also stopped playing basketball. During PE class, he would disappear into thin air. Cha Fei’ang happened to bump into him once. At that time, Xu Jing was sitting under a big tree, facing the sun, his whole being looking like he had lost his soul. His eyes were empty and confused, not knowing what he was thinking.

Since then, Cha Fei’ang noticed that Xu Jing’s reactions had also become very slow. When people spoke to him, they had to say it three or four times before he would focus his eyes on them, and after listening, he would hardly respond.

Cha Fei’ang and Liang Ge both thought that Xu Jing was probably not used to Shen Yan’s withdrawal from school since the two of them used to be inseparable. They thought this state wouldn’t last long until that lunch. Cha Fei’ang truly realized that Xu Jing was now much worse than they had imagined.

At that time, the cafeteria was particularly crowded. A boy slipped and accidentally spilled soup on Xu Jing’s uniform. Everyone who saw it held their breath, and the boy was so scared that his face turned pale, and he couldn’t say a word for a long time.

Cha Fei’ang thought, “It’s over.”

However, Xu Jing only glanced at the boy, didn’t say anything, took off his jacket, got up, poured away all the food he had barely touched, and left the cafeteria just like that.

Whether they were sitting and eating or standing in line, everyone looked at each other in shock. After all, Xu Jing, not long ago, was someone whose fighting frequency was so high that even the school’s disciplinary notices couldn’t keep up.

Liang Ge also watched Xu Jing leave with a question mark over his head. Turning his head, he found Cha Fei’ang motionless, as if he had been frozen, so he asked, “Is Brother Jing better now? Why do I feel like something’s off?”

Cha Fei’ang’s expression was serious, and he didn’t answer.

But he knew that was definitely not the case, and it was probably even more serious.

Because just now, when Xu Jing took off his jacket, he inadvertently revealed a small section of his arm, and he saw that it was full of scars, dense and numerous. Some had already scabbed over, and some were probably recently added, still bleeding.

The questions in his heart grew bigger and bigger. Cha Fei’ang wanted to ask several times but finally gave up. It wasn’t until someone posted a photo on the forum that everything was explained.

It started with an anonymous account posting a thread on the Linhe No.1 High School’s “Please Let Me Go” forum: “Does anyone want to hear some gossip about our school?”

Such gossip posts naturally attract a lot of attention, and they always cause a bunch of students to comment and complain below. Many people have posted before, so this was not uncommon. However, on Sunday night, another anonymous account posted a photo in the comments section, along with the caption: “Your school god is actually a dead gay. [Dog head][Dog head]”

The photo was obviously taken secretly, and it even had a double image because it was taken in a hurry. However, the protagonist’s outline was clear, and the features were obvious. Anyone who had seen their figures or appearance would recognize them. It was two boys standing at the entrance of an alley kissing. The back that wasn’t showing their face was broad, and the figure was slender and upright, while the other figure was thin and was slightly raising his head. His cold profile was reflected in the dim streetlights, revealing a hint of a smile.

The post went viral overnight, and the photo was wildly forwarded. There were also polarized comments. A small portion was attacking the anonymous poster, but those voices were quickly drowned out by more vicious insults.

[185 Innocent High School Boy]: “Isn’t that the two from Class 1 in the second grade? No wonder that one was fighting every day a while ago. Turns out he’s gay, damn it.”

[So Handsome I Got Stabbed]: “People really can’t be judged by appearances. Brothers, it’s so disgusting. The photo makes me feel physically uncomfortable.”

[Eat Fast Run Fast] replies to [So Handsome I Got Stabbed]: “Don’t even mention it. I’m extremely homophobic. I threw up my dinner last night. The school should expel these people to prevent them from influencing the atmosphere.”

[Sorry Everyone]: “Ugh, this is so hard to watch. Can gays just die, ahhh.”

…

That night, Xu Jing sat in front of his computer desk, watching the curses pile up one after another below the photo, until dawn.

On the day he returned to school, whispers followed Xu Jing wherever he went. When he entered the classroom, the whole class quieted down. Those boys who were originally talking to Cha Fei’ang all returned to their seats after seeing Xu Jing come in, as if they were avoiding a plague.

Listening to the movements behind him, Cha Fei’ang and Liang Ge also stiffened a bit. After exchanging glances for a few seconds, neither of them turned around and spoke to Xu Jing as usual. Cha Fei’ang hesitated for a long time, but finally lowered his head and continued to do his homework.

Today was the weekly exam. When passing out the test papers, Cha Fei’ang accidentally touched Xu Jing’s hand while he was clearing his desk because he was moving too quickly. He jumped up instantly like a spring, and a curse blurted out, “Fuck!”

The noise was so loud that it startled everyone.

Liang Yin, who was writing the exam arrangements on the blackboard, turned her head after hearing the sound and asked, “What’s wrong?”

Cha Fei’ang waved his hand awkwardly and said, “It’s nothing, it’s nothing. I accidentally spilled my water just now.”

Liang Yin signaled him to sit down and continue the exam. Cha Fei’ang cautiously glanced at the person behind him and found that Xu Jing was looking down, already writing the answers to two questions. His face still didn’t have much expression, except that his left hand, which had just touched him, was clenched a little tightly and moved down from the desk.

After finishing the day’s test absentmindedly, Xu Jing slung his bag and walked out. Cha Fei’ang thought for a while and still caught up, until he got out of the teaching building did he muster enough courage to stand in front of Xu Jing, stammering, “Brother Jing, I didn’t mean that today, please don’t take it to heart.”

Xu Jing’s eyes fell on Cha Fei’ang without a trace, and he didn’t say anything.

“Don’t take what those idiots said to heart either! This…this is nothing. No matter what, you are my friend, Cha Fei’ang’s friend.”

Cha Fei’ang spoke righteously, but half a minute passed, and his heartfelt words didn’t seem to have even entered Xu Jing’s ears, let alone his heart.

Because Xu Jing just retracted his gaze, turned around, and left without saying a word.

His disappearing figure at the school gate was lonely, and eventually merged into the night.

Cha Fei’ang stood there, the more he thought about it, the worse he felt, and finally couldn’t help but raise his hand and slap himself.

Seeing Liang Ge almost bumped into a tree while walking, Gu Qianqian reached out and grabbed the corner of his clothes, while shouting, “Liang Ge?”

Liang Ge came back to his senses and said, “Ah, sorry.”

“Something on your mind?”

Liang Ge shook his head subconsciously, then nodded again.

“Because of Xu Jing’s matter?”

“Yeah…” Liang Ge knew he couldn’t hide it, so he admitted directly, “I really can’t figure out how this happened. I thought they were just good bros, who would have thought they were that kind of relationship, damn it.”

After a moment of silence, Gu Qianqian turned her head to look at Liang Ge again and asked, “So, do you also think, like those people said, that homosexuals deserve to die and that homosexuals don’t deserve to live?”

Liang Ge quickly denied, “No! I never thought that!”

“Then why can’t you accept it?”

Liang Ge was stumped by this question. He frowned subconsciously, finding it hard to accept and said, “How can two men be together?”

Gu Qianqian stopped and retorted, “Why can’t they be together?”

Liang Ge became a little anxious, “This is completely unreasonable!”

“Reasonable for what?” Gu Qianqian stared into Liang Ge’s eyes and asked, “Who defined the reason? Was it you, or the self-righteous idiots standing on the moral high ground below that post?”

Liang Ge was stunned and suddenly became speechless.

Gu Qianqian asked again, “What do you think of Xu Jing as a person?”

Liang Ge’s mind couldn’t turn around, but his tone was much weaker than before, stuttering, “He’s, he’s pretty good.”

“What about Shen Yan?”

“He’s pretty good too.”

“Then did their being together affect you?”

“How could it? I’m not—”

His voice stopped abruptly, and Liang Ge was stunned again. So why was he so averse to this matter? Did he inherently dislike such things? But as Gu Qianqian said, Shen Yan and Xu Jing being together did not affect him. His reaction was entirely because this was not an emotion in the traditional sense. Everyone around him was opposing and despising with prejudice, so he followed the crowd.

“Liang Ge, I want you to remember.” Gu Qianqian’s calm voice echoed on the deserted street, “Love is a person’s right, regardless of gender and age. If two people like each other, they can be together. No one can deprive them of this, and no one has the right to judge them. You don’t have to bless them, but you must respect them.”

Obviously, such words were beyond Liang Ge’s comprehension, but he still listened to them all, so he nodded and said in a deep voice, “I understand.”

·

Grandpa Jiang Pei’s health was not as good as before this year. In just one winter, most of the originally vibrant flowers had withered.

The sea of flowers was no more, neither were the things nor the people.

That time, Xu Jing happened to run into the old man walking out of the alley when he went to that alley.

Grandpa Jiang Pei recognized him at a glance and said, “You must be Xu Jing.”

But Xu Jing had never seen this strange face, so he ignored him.

“I am Jiang Pei’s grandfather. I recognize you. Xiao Yan showed me your photo.”

As soon as he finished speaking, a trace of emotion finally flashed across Xu Jing’s long-silent eyes, and he nodded slightly.

“I’ve heard about Xiao Yan’s matter from my granddaughter. Such an excellent child, how could this happen? It’s really pitiful.” The old man sighed, his voice becoming a little sad, “My body is not doing well, and I don’t know how long I can last. I’ll give you this key. I can only trouble you to take care of those flowers.”

The old man walked away unsteadily. Xu Jing lowered his eyes, staring at the key in his palm, and after a long time, he clenched it tightly.

Xu Jing came to the alley leading to the sea of flowers again tonight.

The night was dark and heavy, without even a single star. Xu Jing clenched his fists and walked inside as usual. Before he had walked a few meters, darkness had enveloped his eyes.

His brain began to spin and faint reflexively. Unescapable fear attacked Xu Jing’s nerves. He began to tremble all over, panting heavily, while pinching his arm hard, and stumbling inside. He tried desperately to overcome this fear, but in the end, he couldn’t do it.

Xu Jing groped, crawled, and fell back to the entrance of the alley. It was as if a snake was walking in his abdomen. As soon as he went out, he couldn’t help but vomit, until he vomited upside down while holding the wall, the stomach acid rushing straight to his throat, and the unbearable smell kept churning in his mouth.

At this moment, Xu Jing felt an intense pleasure from self-torture in his heart.

Since he didn’t know when, he tortured himself again and again through the fear of darkness. Sometimes he turned off all the lights in the room. He curled up in the corner, trembling all over, grabbing his hair like a monster, hurting himself, and then roaring hoarsely, until he was completely surrounded by uncontrollable dizziness and almost desperate pain, he could briefly escape from the prison of longing.

If even this method doesn’t work, Xu Jing thought, then he would be completely trapped in this prison until death.