A Doll Made By One’S Own Hands—— Chapter 37

Chi Qing had originally thought that day was the most hateful and shameful day of his life, until now—

He sat in the movie theater, almost humiliated, his back incredibly stiff against the soft seat of the auditorium, forced to go through the motions of the date proposed by Chi Xianyu, trapped here.

Chi Qing was accustomed to being isolated, and the recent string of incidents meant he couldn’t fully adapt to places where humans gathered. As a result, his back was rigid, and he dared not move his head, staring fixedly at the screen in front of him.

He and Chi Xianyu were seated in a front row. The faint light reflecting off the screen during the movie made Chi Qing the focus of attention for everyone in the back rows, the landing spot for their gazes.

Gaze gaze gaze gaze—

The uniform row of stares made Chi Qing’s scalp tighten and tingle. He didn’t absorb any of the movie content, and the hot cocoa and popcorn beside him remained untouched.

They must be looking at me… They must be looking at us…

Chi Qing anxiously bit the dead skin on his lips. He didn’t even notice the faint streaks of blood seeping out from his soft, broken lips. His dark eyes moved restlessly from side to side, constantly wary of the surrounding activity.

Just as Chi Qing’s nerves were stretched taut, a small, pale shadow suddenly fell over him.

Chi Xianyu, who had been sitting quietly beside the young man, suddenly leaned closer. This extremely intimate distance startled Chi Qing into a short gasp.

His body instinctively recoiled, and he frowned, scolding in a low voice, “What exactly are you trying to do to me now?”

Chi Qing was highly vigilant against Chi Xianyu. He hadn’t forgotten how Chi Xianyu had done this and that to his body these past few days, and he was terrified that the other party would engage in overly intimate or ambiguous behavior in such a public setting.

But the other party didn’t act as he feared. Chi Xianyu maintained a slight forward lean, his beautiful fingers pinching a piece of sweet, fluffy popcorn, seemingly intending to feed him.

His refined and concerned demeanor made Chi Qing’s overreaction seem incredibly crude. He vaguely felt the gazes from the neighboring rows subtly settling on him again.

Damn it.

What exactly does Chi Xianyu want? This is utterly disgusting.

The arch of Chi Qing’s brows showed a subtle resistance. He intensely disliked this kind of intimate gesture, typical of couples, from Chi Xianyu. He turned his face away dismissively, rejecting the offer in a very blunt manner.

Chi Xianyu suddenly smiled, his somewhat aggressive eyebrows casually lifting. His long, beautiful eyes gazed at him quietly, and he spoke in a half-smile, half-not tone: “Not eating?”

He looked as if he was waiting for Chi Qing to lean in and obediently swallow the food from Chi Xianyu’s fingertips.

This pretense of inquiry was truly irritating, especially since Chi Qing didn’t like anything sweet right now. Just as he was about to refuse, he suddenly met Chi Xianyu’s bottomless eyes.

Those eyes still held a smile, but they contained a thread of coldness. Chi Qing then keenly noticed Chi Xianyu’s dark eyes shifting around, as if reminding Chi Qing to pay attention to something.

Sure enough, the next second, the illusion of being the center of attention rushed back. Chi Qing’s previous, not-so-small movements in the unusually quiet cinema had already drawn some displeasure, and judgmental stares rigidly and directly clung to Chi Qing’s face.

“It seems you truly… don’t like anything sweet at all?” Chi Xianyu chuckled softly, casually lowering his eyelids and slowly retracting his fingers—

A warm dampness touched his fingertip.

Under the coercion of all those stares, Chi Qing stiffly and obediently opened his mouth. Perhaps because he was too flustered, Chi Qing actually bit Chi Xianyu’s finger.

Disgusting.

Chi Qing struggled to swallow the cloyingly sweet, cheap, nauseating sugary taste. But the urge to vomit kept surging up his throat, even reflecting in the pure white of the young man’s earlobes. The usually sensitive soft flesh began to flush pink out of loathing, taking on a delicate peach color.

This ripe peach color seemed scalding, transmitting its heat to Chi Xianyu’s cold fingertip. Chi Xianyu subtly twitched his finger, and then his inorganic eyes flickered slightly. He withdrew his hand, satisfied and content.

Although the oppressive feeling of being watched was gradually receding, Chi Qing remained restless in the cinema seat. He began to hear low whispers, coming from the rows behind him.

Because the voices were so low, Chi Qing struggled to hear the specific content, but a few key phrases—”two boys,” “intimate actions,” “homosexuality”—were acutely caught by him.

Chi Qing’s already fair complexion instantly turned sickly pale, and his ears began to buzz loudly.

Sure enough, Chi Xianyu’s close actions toward him had been seen by everyone, and they were now openly criticizing him. The probing stares darted over like thieves. When they met Chi Qing’s trembling peripheral vision, the person’s lips were still moving, whispering.

“Two homosexuals being intimate in a public place like a cinema, how shameless.”

“That’s just disgusting.”

“It really ruins the movie experience.”

They must be saying things that look down on him.

After all, the expressions of them covering their mouths and snickering were no different from the sneering looks of Li Nan and his group. Thinking of this, Chi Qing developed a strange illusion, as if the faces of the people behind him were subtly transforming into Li Nan’s features.

Chi Qing had underestimated the influence these people had on him. Unconsciously, his palms were dug with crescent-shaped bruises. He endured the rest of the movie in this stiff, agonizing state.

When he walked out of the cinema, cold sweat was trickling down his back. In contrast, Chi Xianyu looked cheerful, comfortable, and utterly satisfied.

The young man seemed dazed and unwell. He didn’t even realize when Chi Xianyu led him to a high-end restaurant. Only when Chi Xianyu pulled out the dining chair in front of him and prompted him to sit down did Chi Qing snap back to reality.

A smiling waiter opened the menu and presented it to Chi Qing. He glanced down and realized he couldn’t understand the foreign text printed on it, and even the Chinese characters were so ornate that he couldn’t tell what the dishes were.

Chi Qing subconsciously looked toward Chi Xianyu, who was resting his chin on his hands, smiling warmly and meeting his gaze. Chi Xianyu keenly sensed Chi Qing’s difficulty, signaled the waiter to bring the menu, and skillfully placed the order.

Chi Qing had never taught Chi Xianyu any of this; even his own dining etiquette was severely lacking.

Yet, Chi Xianyu’s movements were elegant and graceful, and his tone and phrasing were so practiced it was as if he had done this thousands of times. Chi Qing vaguely saw the shadow of people like Li Nan in Chi Xianyu.

No, it should be said he was even more proficient.

This only highlighted Chi Qing, who was awkward even when ordering, as an utterly uncouth clown, completely out of place with the luxurious surroundings. The next second, he felt a condescending gaze linger on his face.

When Chi Qing traced the source of the gaze, he met the eyes of the waiter pouring water. The mockery in the waiter’s eyes hadn’t completely faded. This strange familiarity made Chi Qing’s heart skip a beat. He felt the waiter’s unfamiliar face suddenly morph into Li Nan’s features, and then quickly shift into another face that had once mocked Chi Qing.

“Clang—”

Chi Qing accidentally knocked over his water glass. Cold water instantly soaked half of his clothes. Chi Qing stood up in a panic, feeling increasingly disparate from the impeccably dressed, handsome Chi Xianyu in front of him.

His lips were pressed into a thin, straight line. Frowning, he was about to go outside to deal with his wet clothes when he heard the sound of fingers tapping the table from the side. Chi Xianyu lifted his eyelids to look at him, a slight curve on his lips as he called his name: “A-Qing.”

This term of endearment, which sounded intimate to others, came across to Chi Qing as a silent warning, as if reminding him of what he should be doing.

Words of resentment were chewed and swallowed by Chi Qing. In the end, he just forced a slight smile, speaking as if seeking Chi Xianyu’s permission beforehand: “I’m going to the restroom.”

After saying this, Chi Qing didn’t leave immediately. He stood rigidly still, looking back at Chi Xianyu until he received a smiling upturn of the eyes and a soft, “Go ahead.”

Only then did Chi Qing move his numb, heavy steps, slowly shuffling toward the exit.

—

Inside the restroom.

Chi Qing splashed cold water onto his face. The icy droplets ran down his jaw. Instantly, Chi Qing felt much clearer, but the reflection in the mirror showed a haggard young man, with dark circles under his eyes, filled with an indescribable exhaustion.

It seemed he was truly too tired and stressed lately, which was why he occasionally experienced those hallucinations. After all, how could one person’s face suddenly show another person’s features?

He exhaled in frustration. As he was walking out, he suddenly heard voices near the hallway entrance.

“Did you see them just now? That gay couple from the cinema, we ran into them at this restaurant too!”

“Oh my god! What kind of luck is this!”

Chi Qing was abruptly stabbed by these words, feeling sick. It was exactly what he had imagined earlier in the cinema.

Chi Qing truly didn’t want to hide behind the door and listen further. He walked out with a cold face, showing no embarrassment, and abruptly interrupted the two girls’ conversation.

The girls clearly realized they had been caught gossiping by the subject of their discussion. Their words were cut short, and their faces flushed red. They held their breath until Chi Qing walked away before one of them finally sighed and spoke to her companion: “Did you see his expression just now?”

“He’s so cute! He clearly heard everything but pretended to be calm and walked past, just like in the cinema.”

“You know what? When he accidentally licked his boyfriend’s finger back then, both of his ears turned completely red, but he still tried to act nonchalant. He’s absolutely adorable.”

Chi Qing, of course, didn’t hear these words. Preoccupied, he returned to the restaurant where almost all the dishes had been served. Chi Qing didn’t have much appetite, but after Chi Xianyu continuously placed several pieces of food on his plate, Chi Qing forced himself to eat.

However, he was distracted and soon caught the attention of a slightly familiar female voice. When Chi Qing glanced over, his brows unconsciously furrowed. The girls who had been gossiping about him a few minutes ago were now sitting at the neighboring table.

Suddenly, the food tasted like sawdust. He was terrified that the stares from the next table would follow him like a shadow, turning his and Chi Xianyu’s actions into future gossip. Consequently, Chi Qing found himself stealing glances too frequently.

Chi Xianyu suddenly leaned in slightly, maintaining a distance that was neither too far nor too close, but which appeared intimate to outsiders. He casually asked, “Why do you keep looking at them?”

Chi Qing withdrew his searching gaze, shaking his head and brushing it off as nothing. But the next second, as Chi Xianyu was serving him a fresh, tender piece of steak, Chi Qing keenly sensed the probing gaze of the girls next door falling on him again. So, this time, he very reluctantly refused Chi Xianyu’s intimate gesture, “I can do it myself.”

However, Chi Xianyu seemed to see through Chi Qing’s avoidance, or perhaps he genuinely didn’t understand. The subtle, faint smile returned to his lips. He directly held the food on the silver fork to Chi Qing’s mouth in a feeding gesture, exactly like the scene in the cinema.

But those two pairs of eyes next to them hadn’t moved an inch from Chi Qing. Chi Qing felt his back tense up, breaking out in cold sweat, his ears ringing, his body frozen.

He rarely begged, but his first reaction now was to look at Chi Xianyu with pleading eyes, repeating in a tiny voice, “Let me do it myself.”

After speaking, Chi Qing tried to snatch the cutlery from the other’s hand, but Chi Xianyu shifted slightly, perfectly evading his movement.

His handsome features were lofty, as if he didn’t see any request in Chi Qing’s eyes. Even when Chi Qing’s eyes were red, feigning tears, Chi Xianyu remained coldly unmoved and spoke: “A-Qing, why are you so resistant?”

Chi Xianyu tilted his head, his tone steady: “We are a couple. Isn’t this normal?” He paused, his inorganic eyes following the young man’s gaze pointedly toward the neighboring table. His voice became subtle: “Or do you prefer them?”

Chi Qing was stunned by this barrage of questions. “No.”

His thoughts scattered, and before he could react, Chi Xianyu pressured him to open his lips, resorting to the same trick he used in the cinema. His faint eyes revealed a strange, flickering color. “Couples are like this. Good master, you will be obedient, won’t you?”

The cold fingertip was already pressed against Chi Qing’s lips, about to probe inward and pry open his teeth.

Chi Qing suddenly exploded with strength, violently batting Chi Xianyu’s arm away. As he abruptly stood up, the chair scraped against the floor with a sharp, grating sound.

The young man was already frail, and that single movement exhausted most of his strength. His chest heaved as he struggled to catch his breath. Chi Xianyu’s deliberate use of the word “master” had completely distorted his expression. His emotions reached their threshold, and he burst out with the most cutting words to mock him: “Don’t you think this is ridiculous?”

“You’re right, it’s perfectly normal for ordinary couples to go on dates, watch movies, and feed each other during meals.”

Chi Qing bit the soft flesh of his lip, his voice sharp as a knife: “But are you a normal person? You brought me to this restaurant, can you eat this food? Do you understand that movie? Do you understand human emotions? Do you know what liking someone means? Are you even human?!!!!”

It was less of an argument and more of Chi Qing unilaterally belittling and mocking him. Chi Xianyu remained silent throughout, offering no rebuttal, merely watching him with flat, smiling eyes.

This was enough to make Chi Qing’s scalp prickle, generating a chilling sense of dread.

He belatedly realized he had said the wrong thing.