Unmatched Chapter 52
byChapter 52: To My Dearest
January 19th. The long cold snap finally ended, and Fengjing City warmed up.
Rest time was limited. As soon as the workday began, Zhao Shuyi was busy again. He had formally filed a lawsuit against Zhao Huaicheng, submitting evidence to the procuratorate and the court.
With ironclad evidence, Zhao Huaicheng’s conviction was only a matter of time.
Although the litigation process was taxing, Zhao Shuyi did not have to handle every detail personally since the suit was filed in the company’s name. He focused most of his energy on reforming Chaoyang Group’s management system.
No one had anticipated that the struggle between the uncle and nephew would conclude so swiftly and violently. Zhao Huaicheng was struck at his weak point, and his defeat was absolute. Inside the Board of Directors, no dissenting voices against Zhao Shuyi could be heard. When he proposed the restructuring at this time, it passed with near-unanimous approval.
Zhao Shuyi viewed the present as the final, tense moment before dawn. To reorganize personnel and establish new regulations, he spent every day from morning till night in meetings with company executives and legal consultants, completely swamped.
Even with such a demanding schedule, he made sure to find time to visit Qin Zhi in the hospital.
Due to the changing weather and his daily schedule, he sometimes went in the morning and sometimes in the evening. Qin Zhi’s wounds were healing, and her complexion was much better, but she remained depressed and unwilling to communicate with Zhao Shuyi.
Zhao Shuyi could actually sense that his mother seemed somewhat afraid of him—afraid that he might show even a hint of blame, stemming from her deep, irreparable guilt.
Zhao Shuyi could not play the role of a loving mother and filial son, but he also didn’t blame her. Therefore, he never stayed long during his hospital visits. Sometimes he didn’t even enter the room, only sending a unique bouquet of fresh flowers each day to let her know he had visited and hadn’t given up on her.
But what else could he do? Zhao Shuyi didn’t know.
Xie Qi said he was too soft-hearted, still loving his mother so much even after everything. Zhao Shuyi denied this, getting annoyed whenever he was teased. He would put on a cold face and warn Xie Qi with his eyes to stop saying things he didn’t want to hear.
Xie Qi then laughed, “I understand. You used to treat me the same way. Your mouth is harder than stone.”
Zhao Shuyi’s cold face looked frozen. He put on his coat, pretending not to hear. “I’m leaving.”
“I’ll see you off.” Xie Qi followed closely, gave him a kiss, and helped open the car door.
Recently, Young Master Xie had been enthusiastic about playing the role of a chauffeur, showing up conspicuously at Chaoyang Group headquarters every day. Afraid that people wouldn’t notice, he deliberately helped Zhao Shuyi carry his coat, computer bag, deliver coffee, and buy afternoon tea right in front of everyone.
After their public display of affection, he asked, “Did you join the employee group chat? Are people discussing us?”
“?” Zhao Shuyi was helpless. “I didn’t join, but don’t worry. Since it’s already trending on the hot search, people are definitely discussing it.”
Zhao Shuyi even suspected that Xie Qi had paid for the hot search himself.
But when he asked, Xie Qi denied it. “Don’t you know how popular I am? I can sneeze and trend. Why would I need to pay?”
“Right, big star.”
“Seriously,” the big star insisted. “Besides, my wife is drop-dead gorgeous. Just a slight glimpse of his profile is enough to charm a whole crowd. It’s normal for netizens to be surprised.”
Zhao Shuyi was speechless.
Sometimes he had to admit that the thickness of people’s skin varied wildly.
However, ever since the news of Zhao Huaicheng’s involvement in the lawsuit spread, Chaoyang Group was inevitably drawn into public opinion. To protect the company’s and Zhao Shuyi’s personal reputation, the PR department spared no expense. While controlling the narrative, discussions about Zhao Shuyi naturally increased online, and not all of them were related to Xie Qi.
The sensational news naturally reached Qin Zhi’s ears.
On the evening of January 20th, Zhao Shuyi visited her at the hospital as usual. He expected her to still be unwilling to talk, but as Zhao Shuyi set down the flowers and prepared to leave, Qin Zhi suddenly spoke, “Shuyi.”
The faint smell of disinfectant in the ward masked the perfume she used to wear; the scent of his mother was gradually fading. Her long hair was also cut short, making her look less gentle and more capable.
“Sit a little longer. I have something I want to tell you.” Qin Zhi leaned against the hospital bed, looking at her wrist, where the scar had not yet faded.
Zhao Shuyi sat back down.
“The doctor said I can be discharged in a few days. I’ve been following the company news recently. Your Second Uncle’s affairs… I saw everything. I didn’t mention it not because I don’t care, but because I was afraid of putting more pressure on you and affecting your mood.”
“It’s fine,” Zhao Shuyi said flatly. “There’s nothing that can’t be mentioned.”
Qin Zhi sighed. “I know what you want to ask. I might as well tell you directly.”
“…”
“Your Second Uncle’s current predicament is his own doing; he has no one to blame but himself,” she said. “I did try to plead for him that day, but honestly, it wasn’t just for him… Maybe I’m old and my views are outdated, but I always felt that family members shouldn’t fall out completely. If there’s a chance for reconciliation, sit down and talk first; maybe there will be a better outcome. Of course, perhaps the view wasn’t wrong, but my identity was.”
Saying these words touched upon the parts of her heart she didn’t want to face, and her hand trembled slightly. “I haven’t been a good mother to you all these years—material care is secondary. The main thing is that I failed to notice your emotional needs and didn’t give you what you wanted.”
“Why bring this up now?” Zhao Shuyi turned his face away. “Relationships are mutual. I haven’t been particularly good to you either.”
“…That’s my fault.” Qin Zhi offered a pale smile, quickly wiping her eyes with her uninjured hand. “Let’s not dwell on it. Bringing up the past only hurts. Let’s look forward.”
She glanced outside the door. “Xie Qi didn’t come with you?”
“He had something at his company today.”
“Mm. I can tell that if he had time, he would definitely be with you.”
“…”
It was rare for a heart-to-heart conversation between mother and son to be this awkward. But for two emotionally unstable people, it was difficult enough to have an honest chat.
Zhao Shuyi saw that Qin Zhi didn’t want to explain why she attempted suicide, so he didn’t press. The question itself didn’t need a precise answer; ultimately, it was an accumulation of emotions that became unbearable.
“After you are discharged…” Zhao Shuyi paused. “What are your plans?”
“That’s what I was about to say.”
Qin Zhi looked out the window. Rarely was the day clear, without snow or wind; the bright blue sky was silent. “I’ve thought about this for a long time, Shuyi. I don’t know if this will be sudden for you… I want to find a temple and devote myself to Buddhism.”
Zhao Shuyi was stunned.
“Just think of it as becoming a nun. Whether or not I have a formal monastic identity doesn’t matter. I just want to step out of my current life and seek spiritual liberation in an environment I yearn for.”
“…”
She said sadly, “I know you dislike religion, but if I stay, I can’t help, and I only cause you worry, and I feel pressure myself. Why don’t we just… live our separate lives, keeping concern for each other in our hearts. That would be a good ending.”
—An ending.
Biological mother and son, parting while alive, were talking about an “ending.”
“Mom will pray for you every day from now on, wishing Shuyi health and safety.”
Qin Zhi smiled at him, wanting to leave him with the impression of a mother who smiled often.
Zhao Shuyi was silent for a long time before saying, “Alright. If you need it, I will help you make the arrangements.”
When Zhao Shuyi walked out of the hospital, his expression was relatively calm.
But upon returning home and seeing Xie Qi, he suddenly couldn’t control his emotions. An indescribable sense of loneliness overwhelmed his heart, which was unaccustomed to expression. Ignoring the fact that Xie Qi was on the phone, he hugged him tightly.
“What’s wrong? Did you argue with your mom?” Xie Qi was pushed against the wall, hung up the phone, and was held and inhaled by Zhao Shuyi for a minute, completely bewildered.
“No,” Zhao Shuyi’s voice was muffled. He told Xie Qi about Qin Zhi’s decision. “She wants to become a lay Buddhist. The next time we meet, she won’t be my mother, but some lay practitioner.”
“…”
Xie Qi was surprised. After a moment of silence, he said, “Do you want me to be honest? I think it’s good. You two have too many unresolved issues and can’t get along. It’s better not to live together.”
“I know.”
But how should he describe it?
It was as if he was leaving the maternal body for the second time, his umbilical cord cut, thrown into the vast world, looking around, lost and helpless.
“From now on, you are the only family I have, Xie Qi.”
“I’m not family. I’m your husband.”
“…”
There he goes again. Zhao Shuyi laughed through his tears. “Do you know how annoying you are?”
“I don’t know,” Xie Qi kissed him. “I only know that someone is head over heels in love with me and acts spoiled the moment he gets home.”
“Who is it? It’s certainly not me.”
Zhao Shuyi imitated Xie Qi’s usual cheeky tone, and after speaking, he realized how degraded he had become, learning nothing good, only bad habits.
“—Forget it, let’s eat.”
As long as a person still had an appetite, everything wasn’t too bad.
Compared to before, Zhao Shuyi’s condition was much better now. Xie Qi had confiscated his irregular medications, and he used sex to help him sleep soundly every night. The nascent separation anxiety was quickly cured, replaced by the new worry of “Why is Xie Qi so clingy?”
However, occasionally, there would still be a little anxiety—perhaps not anxiety, but longing—when he was in the office, the conference room, or a car outside, he suddenly wanted to hug Xie Qi very much.
Zhao Shuyi also developed a habit of buying flowers. Every day after work, he would go to the florist, choose a beautiful, vibrant bouquet, and arrange it on the dining table to add color to their life.
On the day of the Northern Minor New Year, he and Xie Qi cooked a meal together.
The two inexperienced chefs followed a video tutorial and, after much struggle, managed to make six dishes that actually looked decent.
“We are amazing,” Xie Qi boasted. “New Year’s Eve dinner is sorted.”
Zhao Shuyi reminded him, “Aren’t we going to your house to eat?”
“We can, but we’ll see how things go.”
When mentioning the future, even the near future, Xie Qi felt a spontaneous sense of happiness and wanted to plan a longer life with Zhao Shuyi.
“Let’s get a dog,” he said. “I dreamed about the Samoyed you had when you were little yesterday. It was so cute. How about we get another one?”
“Sure,” Zhao Shuyi agreed. “Wang Deyang’s Samoyed is about to have puppies. We can adopt one.”
Xie Qi refused. “No way. Wang Deyang is so annoying. I’m afraid his dog has bad genes.”
“…”
Could Wang Deyang’s genes be passed on to a dog? What a filthy insult.
Zhao Shuyi didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. “Suit yourself.”
True to his word, the highly proactive Xie Qi brought home a puppy three days later.
At the time, Zhao Shuyi was writing a letter.
To make a long story short, after they reconciled, Zhao Shuyi dug out the love letters Xie Qi had sent him and, continuing from where he left off, read them carefully, one by one.
Initially, he was just curious about what Xie Qi had written, but in the end, the clumsy declarations of love in those letters made his heart ache with sweetness, almost unbearable.
If only he had known earlier how much Xie Qi loved him—
What a pity.
Zhao Shuyi had an idea and decided to write a reply.
To give the idiot, who was obsessed with romantic rituals, a surprise, he wrote secretly when Xie Qi was not home.
“To my dearest,” he wrote. “It’s a pity this letter cannot reach the sixteen-year-old you, but fortunately, the twenty-six-year-old you is by my side…”
Zhao Shuyi finally understood that love needed to be expressed, or it would accumulate and overflow the heart.
Every word he wrote now was unrelated to logic; it was the natural conversion of overflowing love, written spontaneously.
As he wrote, he wondered what Xie Qi would feel when he opened this love letter.
Would he laugh, or cry? Or would he excitedly hug him, expressing his love with clumsy words—like the repeated “I love you so much” in those old letters?
Any reaction was fine; he would love it all.
Finally, what did he want to say to Xie Qi?
“Thank heaven, grateful for you.” It sounded so cliché, but what could he do? Love had turned him into a common person whose joys and sorrows were rich and varied.
Zhao Shuyi finished writing, put the love letter and the ring he hadn’t given him last time into an envelope. Before he could hide it, Xie Qi came home.
He hastily put the letter away, his movements somewhat furtive. Xie Qi, holding the puppy, spotted him with sharp eyes. “What are you doing?”
“Ahem.” Zhao Shuyi cleared his throat, feeling suddenly ten years younger, his heart filled with the childish nervousness and sweetness of a young man.
“Xie Qi, I love you.” He handed over the love letter like a declaration. “Stay with me forever.”
(The End)