SYLM Chapter 63

Chapter 63 “I won’t make things difficult for the teacher.”

Chapter 63 “I won’t make things difficult for the teacher.”

Compared to those students who were restless throughout the entire evening self-study because they hadn’t finished their homework and feared their parents would be called, Chen Lu’s anxiety was even greater.

The bell rang at 10:30, finally marking the end of evening self-study.

Chen Lu, who had packed up her things five minutes early, headed straight for the podium to find Gu Wan Jun as soon as school was over. She thought about finding an opportunity on the way home to tentatively ask Gu Wan Jun what was going on.

“I’m not going home tonight.”

Just as one foot stepped onto the podium, Chen Lu heard Gu Wan Jun’s calm voice, gently tapping against her eardrums:

“My sister is here. I’ll be staying with her for a while, so you can go home by yourself after school from now on.”

Her eyes were gentle, her tone calm, as always.

Apart from that inexplicable sense of detachment, Chen Lu couldn’t find anything wrong with Gu Wan Jun’s face.

The dim and gentle lights at the school gate illuminated the entrance and the parents who were already waiting outside to pick up their children. Under the streetlights, the falling snowflakes shimmered with a hazy glow, so close yet so far, eventually landing on the snow and becoming indistinguishable.

After leaving the school gate, as with every farewell before, Gu Wan Jun smiled and waved goodbye to Chen Lu, only this time the scene of farewell had changed from the familiar front door to the relatively unfamiliar bus stop.

Chen Lu was smart. Seeing the occasional evasiveness in Gu Wan Jun’s eyes, those tentative words she had thought of earlier gradually fell to the bottom of her heart like the snowflakes in the air. Before parting, Chen Lu pursed her cold, dry lips and asked a relatively important question:

“Is Wanrong-jie okay?”

“…”

Seeming to not expect that the little girl, after pondering for so long, would finally ask such a question, Gu Wan Jun blinked and tried hard to maintain the curve of her lips: “She’s fine.”

“Be careful on the road.”

“Okay.”

“Goodbye, Teacher.”

“Goodbye.”

Facing the wind and snow, Chen Lu’s slender figure disappeared from Gu Wan Jun’s sight.

Perhaps it was the work of the cold wind, but the lips that were constantly stretched into a smile were chapped with small cracks, occasionally sending faint stabs of pain. Gu Wan Jun blinked, regretting why she hadn’t worn a scarf today.

The bus arrived.

There were plenty of empty seats on the bus on a Tuesday night, but Gu Wan Jun inexplicably sat on the familiar double seat.

After the bus started, the scenery outside the window changed, and Gu Wan Jun didn’t know where to look.

The fast-moving bus was the culprit, causing Gu Wan Jun to not have time to see the scenery along the way.

It was definitely not because she was preoccupied that her eyes were unfocused.

Her ability to lie seemed to have improved.

But how long can lies last?

What exactly did the little girl want to ask during those few seconds of silence?

The warmth of her breath created a layer of water vapor on the window. Gu Wan Jun stretched out her index finger and wrote stroke by stroke.

The bus arrived at the terminal, and the driver reminded everyone to get off.

Before getting up from her seat, Gu Wan Jun didn’t forget to wipe away the words she had just written on the window.

Even though the “Lu” character had been blurred by the falling water streaks and was completely unrecognizable.

When she moved out back then, Gu Wan Jun never thought that she would have a day to move back in, so much so that when she first entered the unit door, she actually forgot that this was the old residential area where you had to stomp your feet hard for the voice-activated lights in the corridor to turn on.

Renting a house in a small county was a troublesome problem. Gu Wan Jun got up early and ran around all morning without finding a suitable house. She called the original landlord with a try-it attitude, and in the afternoon, the other party happily sent the keys to her.

Probably only this kind of house was not in demand.

Walking to the fourth floor, the faintly floating smell of alcohol in the air was a bit pungent. The fear of the past gradually emerged in her heart. Gu Wan Jun held her breath and quickened her pace to the fifth floor.

At the door of 502, when Gu Wan Jun took out the key to open the door, the sound of a couple arguing and slapping the table faintly came from across the door at 501.

Unconsciously, more than a year had passed.

Everything seemed to be the same.

But everything seemed to have changed again.

Opening the door and entering the house, the room was empty, but it was considered clean and tidy, everything frozen in the appearance when Gu Wan Jun moved out last time.

The minute and hour hands overlapped, both pointing to 12. The person who had been running around outside all day was very tired, but her eyes couldn’t close.

With her coat on, Gu Wan Jun lay on the sofa, staring fixedly at the ceiling that had been soaked with water and had several pieces of peeling paint, her thoughts swirling.

Was the peeling paint always that ugly?

Gu Wan Jun closed her eyes and sighed deeply. She began to resent herself from the bottom of her heart for suggesting to play Xiangqi at Chen Lu’s house last night.

If she hadn’t said she wanted to play Xiangqi last night, if she hadn’t gone to Chen Lu’s house last night, if there hadn’t been fireworks outside at that time, if she hadn’t knocked over that notebook, if she hadn’t discovered Chen Lu’s feelings for her…

Gu Wan Jun selfishly thought.

If none of this had happened, if she didn’t know anything, she could still treat Chen Lu as a little sister and love her as before.

But there was no “if” in this world.

Why did it have to be love?

Besides love, what else couldn’t she give Chen Lu?

The long night stretched on, could this time pass by faster?

The light snow outside the window gradually stopped, but the heavy snow falling in someone’s heart didn’t stop.

The brown diary had been spread out on the table for almost half an hour. Chen Lu stared at that White Rabbit candy wrapper until her eyes were sore, and she couldn’t write a single word.

Gu Wan Jun knew.

Simple words, but Chen Lu couldn’t put pen to paper.

Could it be said that it was the tacit understanding between the two? From the moment she saw that gentle yet detached look in Gu Wan Jun’s eyes, no, perhaps it was from when Gu Wan Jun hurriedly left last night, from when she noticed that the diary was not placed correctly, from when she noticed that the White Rabbit candy wrapper was not clipped in the right place…

Too many things were wrong.

Chen Lu had thought of it long ago.

But she was unwilling to admit it, and didn’t want to admit it.

Perhaps it was really the tacit understanding between the two. From that night on, for the next week, neither Gu Wan Jun nor Chen Lu mentioned any private matters other than studying.

During group discussions in class, apart from Fu Yi Wen complaining in a machine-gun-like manner that a man surnamed Jiang had sent flowers to Tang Ying again, which were signed for by the security guard at the gate, Chen Lu never mentioned Gu Wan Jun at all.

“Hey Lu Lu, how are you and Gu Wan Jun doing lately? Why did I see her taking the bus after evening self-study that day?”

“Her sister is here, she has to go back to accompany her sister.”

“Her sister hasn’t left yet? Has she settled down in Ningcheng? Oh, don’t worry, I’ve already given Jiang Zhen Zhen a heads-up about our matter, so you can just say anything you want, and she’ll understand.”

“Nothing’s wrong, and there’s nothing to say. The questions assigned to our group are quite difficult, so let’s discuss the questions first.”

Chen Lu replied this way, and then picked up the test paper and seriously looked at the long questions.

Nothing’s wrong? You’ve started seriously discussing the long questions and you still say nothing’s wrong!?

Realizing the seriousness of the problem, Fu Yi Wen and Jiang Zhen Zhen exchanged a look, but neither of them could speak.

There was no use asking Chen Lu about something she was determined not to talk about.

Busy coursework, unimaginable academic pressure, Chen Lu put in 100% of her energy to study hard.

Compared to dwelling on Gu Wan Jun’s affairs, the days of studying hard didn’t seem too difficult.

No one knew that every time she went home after evening self-study and faced the diary alone, Chen Lu, who had been tense all day, dared to let her emotions run wild, silently shedding tears and getting through one night after another.

One day, at 2:30 in the latter half of the night.

Chen Lu, who was habitually suffering from insomnia, sat at her desk studying math problems. Faint footsteps came from the corridor outside the door, the movements were very light, but for Chen Lu, who had been suffering from insomnia for a long time and was particularly sensitive, it was not difficult to hear them.

Starting from getting up early on the second day of Chinese New Year to find a house, Gu Wan Jun had prepared to not come back for a long time. She had bought all the things she needed for eating, wearing, living, and traveling this week. If it weren’t for the Lesson Preparation USB Drive being left at home, she wouldn’t have taken this risk today.

Chen Lu didn’t sleep well, Gu Wan Jun had known this for a long time, but she still prayed that her light movements could escape Chen Lu’s sensitive ears.

Or perhaps even if she heard it, Chen Lu might not necessarily open the door and come out.

Gu Wan Jun held this lucky thought.

So when the door of 301 really opened, someone who had just stepped onto the third floor subconsciously turned around to leave, but in the next second, when she caught a glimpse of Chen Lu’s thin and pale face in the open door, Gu Wan Jun’s throat choked, and she suddenly realized how thin this child had become.

Yes, even at school, it had been a while since she had looked at Chen Lu properly like this.

Their eyes met, and the palms of their hands, which were secretly gripping the doorknob, were aching.

How long has this person not had a good night’s sleep, why does she look so terrible.

Chen Lu blamed herself in her heart for desperately trying not to think about or look at Gu Wan Jun these days.

Squeezing out a smile on her beautiful pale face, Gu Wan Jun spoke first: “Still not asleep?”

“Move back and live here.”

Chen Lu went straight to the point. Gu Wan Jun’s expression stiffened, and the surprise in her eyes disappeared in a flash. She took out her house key and walked to the door of 302 while saying:

“Didn’t I tell you, my sister is in Ningcheng, I have to stay with her. I’m just back to get something today, I’ll be leaving in a while—”

“I know you saw that diary.”

Chen Lu said what she wanted to say, her tone calm.

The key in her hand couldn’t be inserted into the lock no matter what. Gu Wan Jun lowered her eyes. The originally gentle expression had a bit more guilt. After a long time, she turned around and looked at Chen Lu:

“I didn’t mean to look at your privacy, I’m sorry.”

“If Teacher is intentionally avoiding me because of the diary incident—”

“Chen Lu.”

Perhaps afraid that the little girl would say something she didn’t want to face, Gu Wan Jun interrupted Chen Lu, her tone firm:

“I said, I sincerely treat you as a younger sister, like a biological younger sister. There shouldn’t be other inappropriate feelings between you and me, that’s not right.”

Gu Wan Jun’s expression was serious. This solemn appearance forcibly changed the words that Chen Lu originally had on the tip of her tongue. The little girl twitched the corners of her mouth, and her crescent eyes were soaked with a little bit of water:

“Does Teacher really only treat me as a younger sister?”

“…”

Gu Wan Jun’s brain went blank for a moment when she was asked, but she still nodded subconsciously: “Of course, to me, you are just a little sister, there are absolutely no other feelings. If some of my actions have caused you to misunderstand, then Teacher apologizes to you.”

“In that case, then there’s no need for Teacher to avoid me.”

Chen Lu replied quickly, as if she had made some kind of determination. She blinked and met Gu Wan Jun’s gaze head-on, her tone calm to the point of being without a trace of waves:

“I won’t make things difficult for the teacher.”

“…”

Chen Lu’s sudden statement, her calmness to the point of being almost abnormal, made Gu Wan Jun a little at a loss.

She thought that the little girl would either question her, complain about her, or directly pierce through this layer of window paper and pester her to the death like before.

But Chen Lu didn’t.

The little girl’s attitude without any emotional fluctuations even made Gu Wan Jun begin to doubt whether the diary she saw that day was just a part of some novel.

Her poor lower lip was about to bleed from being bitten again. Gu Wan Jun, who couldn’t figure out Chen Lu’s attitude, softened her tone. The usually eloquent Literature teacher actually had a day where her words were not smooth:

“Chen Lu, the college entrance examination is coming soon, your most important task now is to study hard—”

“I know.”

Chen Lu interrupted Gu Wan Jun, her tone calm to the point of losing warmth:

“I know what Teacher wants to say. If Teacher has been avoiding me because of that diary, then there’s no need at all. I can distinguish between what’s important and what’s not, and I will definitely not make things difficult for Teacher.”

“…”

This sudden conversation ended with the door of 301 being proactively closed and locked.

Ten minutes later, Chen Lu, sitting on the floor with her knees hugged, heard the sound of Gu Wan Jun going downstairs through the door panel.

Her unfocused eyes were filled with cold and bleakness. Chen Lu twitched the corners of her mouth, and the fist holding her knees slowly unfolded, a row of neat fingernail marks embedded in her palm, radiating a trace of blood.

Gu Wan Jun, are you afraid of facing me, or are you afraid of facing yourself?