Nanke Yifu Chapter 48

Living in the Wind and Staying in the Rain (Twenty)

“Laixi.”

When Feng Su found Yan Laixi, he was stepping on a stool to hang a decorative garland from a high place. He turned his head when he heard the words.

The thin wrists were exposed from the sleeves due to the movement of raising the arms. Even in the winter when he was wearing three layers of clothing, the clothes still looked a little empty hanging on his body.Feng Su thought that it must be due to the dual reasons of being too thin and having too thin clothes. The former needs to be raised slowly, but the latter is easier to handle.

But right now, at this moment, he had something he wanted to do more.

Standing on tiptoes, he used one hand to protect his waist to prevent him from being pulled off, and the other hand to pull Yan Laixi’s collar.

He couldn’t help it, he didn’t want the scene to be so unwarm and even look like a fight was about to start, but Yan Laixi stood a little too high and couldn’t press his head. He couldn’t wait for someone to get down.

Unfortunately, you have to wait if you can’t wait.

Yan Laixi followed his strength and bent down. The distance between the two became shorter and shorter, but there was still no sign of stopping. Finally, at a position that definitely exceeded the limit of safe social distance, Yan Laixi realized what Feng Su wanted to do.

“No!” He suppressed his voice and even stepped back a little. Fortunately, the stool was wide enough so that he didn’t step on it. He looked around to make sure that no one else was there, and then he breathed a sigh of relief.

Feng Su also looked around with him, but didn’t see anything. An idea flashed, and he thought Yan Laixi was thin-skinned and didn’t want others to see them being affectionate.

As a result, Yan Laixi was almost lifted off the stool and taken into an empty room with an open door nearby.

Entering the door, turning around, closing the door, and leaning over, all in one go. It would be great if I didn’t get pushed away or avoided in the end.

“Why?” Feng Su asked.It was okay the day before yesterday, so why not today?He can do it in the dream, but can’t he in reality?This doesn’t make sense, and the reverse is more or less the same.

“That’s it…that…” Yan Lai hesitated, unable to explain why.The person was trapped between Feng Su and the door panel. The other person was not much taller than him, and he had no intention of keeping a distance from him at this moment. The space left for him to move was really small. He could only turn his head to one side and stare at the floor, with his whole body stretched straight against the door panel.

“Don’t you like me?” Feng Su came closer. Yan Laixi had nowhere to hide and shrank his neck. Lin Yuyou didn’t need to say anything now. Even he felt that he was forcing others to do something difficult.

Lin Yuyou…Lin Yuyou…yes, Lin Yuyou said it.

Feng Su asked: “Or is it because of Chi Fu?”

Yan Laixi said nothing, still maintaining a resisting posture, but pursed his lips and curled up his fingers.

It seems that I guessed it right.

Feng Su smiled and said, “That means you like me.”

Still no response, but it can be taken as the default.

The displeasure of being rejected was wiped away. Feng Su put down the hand that was holding on the door, but did not let go of Yan Laixi. He leaned half against him, burying his head on the side of his neck. He lowered his hand, touched the held hand, inserted his fingers between the fingers, and interlocked them.

He could feel the tension between the two bodies. He rubbed his fingers on the interlocked knuckles and asked knowingly: “You like me and I like you too, so why do you refuse?”

“You will feel…” Yan Laixi said, as if he was frozen. He was so tight that his voice was trembling slightly, “You wouldn’t want to.”

Feng Su could sense his state, but still didn’t want to get away from him and asked, “What don’t I want?”

Yan Laixi responded without hesitation this time and said, “I treat you as the person in my dream.”

“Indeed.” Feng Su nodded, rubbed his chin on Yan Laixi’s shoulder, brushed his hair next to his ear, and said, “Then if I wasn’t the me in your dream, wouldn’t you like me?”

“No…”

It’s not that I don’t like them, it’s that I can’t separate them.Feng Su himself knew that without those dreams, Yan Laixi would not have liked him at all, and as Lin Yuyou said, he was useful, but not the only one – because the difference between dreams and reality to Yan Laixi may not be as big as others thought – he, Feng Su, was not as important as it seemed on the surface.

Yan Laixi can now rely on him and rely on him to get over his broken love.But just like if one day he doesn’t like Yan Laixi, Yan Laixi just needs to treat him as one of the same dreams as many others. If one day he does something that Yan Laixi doesn’t like, Yan Laixi can also directly go to the dream to find a more suitable Fengsu.

He wants Yan Laixi to like himself in reality, but also wants not to be regarded as the person in the dream. He wants too much, so he can’t break this delicate balance yet. This balance of gradually making Yan Laixi like himself through the relationship in the dream.We still have to wait, wait until Yan Laixi likes him more, or wait until the factors that threaten him are less, like: “Why is that? Because of Chi Fu?”

“…I’m sorry.”

“Apologise to me.”

He tilted his head and kissed Yan Laixi’s hair. Perhaps it was too light and he couldn’t feel it, but he was not avoided this time.

Yan Laixi said: “I should apologize to you.”

“Because you think I am one of the two boats under your feet?” Feng Su asked, and continued without waiting for an answer, “I heard Lin Yuyou said that you might think so, but I didn’t expect it to be true. But I don’t think so. Let’s not mention that the boat I want you to step on has not yet come true. The other old boat has long drifted away, and you can’t step on it even if you want to. Besides, one of the two boats doesn’t care, and the other has not been considered to be indifferent even if you think about it, so what are you still struggling with?”

It has to be said that in a certain sense, Yin Yuqiu’s judgment of this person he had never met before was quite accurate – a big hooligan.

As the gangster spoke, he put his mouth on the person’s face again.

“So, don’t reject me, okay?”

Obviously, Yan Laixi’s answer is not good.He used force to push Feng Su away and free himself. In panic, he even read out the instructions Zhu Jiu had given eight hundred years ago: “Mom said that no one other than her and her brothers and sisters can kiss me.”

“Ah?” Feng Su laughed, but accepted his kindergarten speech and asked seriously, “Didn’t Chi Fu kiss you?”

Yan Laixi retorted: “We were lovers at that time.”

“Look.” Feng Su seized the opportunity, “You said it yourself, ‘back then’, which means it’s not now. So, we like each other now, and we both know that the other person also likes us, and there is no obstacle in the middle. So what else can I do to become your lover?”

“You, I, you let me think about it, I, I will think about it for a few days.”

Escape is not shameful, but it is not necessarily useful.

Feng Su: “How many days do you need to think about it?”

“Three or four days,” Yan Laixi said casually.

Feng Su: “Then if you don’t reject me in three or four days, I’ll treat it as your promise?”

“Yeah.” Yan Laixiguang refused to agree after hearing something for three or four days, and his brain automatically understood that he would give an answer of rejection or agreement after three or four days, so he nodded in a daze and sold it to himself.

Didn’t you think you were in a dream this time? It’s time to make it count, right?

The emotional war between you and me came to an end for the time being, and the two of them had time to look at the door of the room they pushed open.

There is a row of low cabinets by the window, with some children’s picture books inside. There is a carpet on the side, and there are some paintbrushes in the corner. Inside are rows of bookshelves as high as one person, and a conference table that takes up almost half of the room.

The bookshelf is divided into sections, including literature, comics, and reference books… Feng Su’s eyes swept over the rows of book spines and stopped on a name.

Nanke.

He reached out and took down the book, briefly looking at the cover. Before he could open it, his hand was empty.

“Ah…really, I told you just to see for yourself…” Yan Laixi muttered, squatting down and checking row after row to see if there was any “fish that slipped through the net”.

Feng Su’s interest is not in the books written by Yan Laixi, which are online novels. If you want to read them, you can read them at any time. Even if Yan Laixi really wants to, he can’t stop them. He now has some other questions.

Most of the books on the bookshelf are obviously not suitable for children under the age of ten.

When he arrived, Feng Su noticed that there seemed to be a lot of children in middle school, but the orphanage should only have the obligation to raise them until they were ten years old. He originally thought that he only came back temporarily because of the New Year.

He knew that Lin Yuyou did not move out of the orphanage until he became an adult. He also knew that ten-year-old children still needed care. Most of the children in orphanages had troublesome anomalies, so many orphanages would by default continue to raise or help these children after they were ten years old.

But there seem to be too many children over ten years old, and even fifteen, sixteen, seventeen-year-olds here, and the things specially prepared for them seem to be too complete, such as the various teaching aids on the bookshelf now.

“The children here…” Feng Su thought for a moment, found a more euphemistic wording, and asked, “How long do they usually stay in the courtyard?”

“Ah, didn’t Xiaoyou tell you?” Yan Laixi, still squatting on the ground, looked up at him and said, “We are different from other orphanages. Mother usually forces every child to stay here until they are at least sixteen years old before they are allowed to move out.”

He touched his nose as he spoke, seeming a little embarrassed, and said: “Actually, it wasn’t mandatory before – it’s not actually true now. It’s just a way of saying that if you can take care of yourself, and if you want to move out, you can move out at any time. As for why you say that on the surface… it’s actually because of me.”

Feng Su raised his eyelids and sat cross-legged next to Yan Laixi. He didn’t say a word, but his body language said everything: I’m very curious, please continue and be more detailed.

Yan Laixi also sat on the ground and felt a little embarrassed when he mentioned the stupid things he did when he was a child: “When I was nine years old… I had a small accident.”

“Normally, the hospital would only take care of us until we were ten years old. I was a little cranky at that time,” Yan Laixi said.

“Although the regulations only require children to be under ten years old, under normal circumstances, most orphanages will still take care of children until they have the ability to survive.” Feng Su interjected, “And you were not a little cranky at that time, but you are often cranky now.”

Yan Laixi smiled, did not refute anything, and continued: “I…for a long time, I have been worried about whether I will be kicked out and whether I will be disliked. After thinking about it, I turned into finding a job, making money to support myself, being useful, and not being a trouble.”

Yan Laixi: “Children who are less than nine years old according to their birthdays think about all these messy things in their heads every day. Now that I think about it, they are so stupid that it’s a bit funny.”

“If you mean worrying about a bunch of things that are simply impossible to happen, then that’s true.” Feng Su said, other than that he couldn’t think of anything else that was funny.

“Anyway, that winter, earlier than now, I really took action.” Yan Laixi said, “I don’t know who gave me the courage. I lied to my mother that I wanted to play outside with my classmates and would go back later. Then I went to each family to ask if they needed anyone.”

“I made preparations for a long time before entering the first house. I hid at the door for a long time and pretended to be passing by several times. I finally got in, said hello, stumbled about my purpose of visit, and lied about my age. As a result, they gave me two candies and coaxed me to send me out. Then when I got to the second house, I didn’t dare to go in.”

“I was worried before that I could hide it because I’m not old enough, but it turned out that people don’t care at all whether you are nine or ten years old. For such a young child, let alone working, it’s not enough to cause trouble.”

“But I’m pretty lucky. There’s a new store opened by a young man. It’s almost decorated, but it hasn’t been cleaned yet. Maybe he thought he could help sweep the floor and wipe the tables. Now that I think about it, they were probably just kidding. Anyway, they were willing to take me in.”

“There was a problem on the first day. I wasn’t familiar with the place and couldn’t remember the way home. In fact, my mother was afraid that we would sometimes go out alone and encounter any accidents outside and we would not be able to contact each other, so she prepared communication devices for each of the older children, such as mobile phones and watches. But the conditions were limited after all, and there were many children in the hospital, so they were basically second-hand. Some of them were aging more seriously, and sometimes there would be some problems. For example, the battery of mine was not very good, and the battery dropped like a countdown when it was frozen.”

“I actually went back very early that day. My phone ran out of battery, so I followed my memory to find the way. I didn’t know which intersection I took a wrong turn. The further I walked, the stranger I went, the farther I went, the darker the sky became.”

“It was a coincidence. There was no one passing by around me. I wanted to go back. Maybe I was panicking at that time. I couldn’t go back, and I got even more confused. I couldn’t find the road, I couldn’t find anyone, and I couldn’t contact anyone. I saw the sky getting darker and darker, thinking that my mother and the others were looking for me, so I got anxious. When I was anxious, I felt a little wronged and scared, so I wanted to cry. When I wanted to cry, I wanted to find a place to hide, so I got into a small alley.”

“I hid in an alley and couldn’t find anyone. I squatted by the wall and cried, then fell asleep. In my dream, you found me, took me to a warm place, and then left me alone. When I opened my eyes again, I was already back on the bed at home.”

“My mother lost her temper that time. It was the first and probably the only time I saw her so angry. Even so, she didn’t scold me, she just told me not to think that way and not to do it again.”

Feng Su waited until his voice stopped and the story was finished before he asked: “Who found you in the end?”

“I don’t know.” Yan Laixi shook his head, “Mom said it was a lady who sent me back. She didn’t specify. Maybe it was someone who happened to see me nearby, or a passing police officer.”

“What happens after that?” Feng Su asked, “Although you are a child, I don’t think you are the kind of person who doesn’t feel embarrassed after being told something.”

“It’s not hard on myself.” Yan Laixi smiled and said, “After that, I was forced to report and check my whereabouts for a short period of time, and then… I actually moved out when I was 18 or 19 years old, rented accommodation in the university, found a place to work, and then lied about my salary and refused living expenses.”

“Actually, I have thought about this a long time ago. I feel that since I am so old and a healthy person, I should not always rely on the hospital for support. But maybe it is because of what happened when I was a child. My mother has always disagreed. Even when I was sixteen, I did not agree with me moving out to live alone. And it was not until I became an adult that I hadAfter a little income, I still insisted on giving me living expenses, fearing that I would not be able to live well.Maybe it was because I had lied so much that I had no credibility in this regard.I regretted it at the time. If I had known better, I would not have gone to college. At least it would have been earlier so that I would no longer be a burden or a burden.”

“But the period when I was living alone… was actually a bit hard.”

“Whether it was given by my mother or given by some brothers and sisters, I saved all the money. I didn’t want them to worry and wanted to hide it from them, but I also didn’t want to accept too much that shouldn’t belong to me, so I definitely couldn’t not accept it, but I could not spend it and find an opportunity to pay it back later.”

“Stop for a moment.” Feng Su interrupted him, “What do you mean it shouldn’t belong to you.”

“I was already an adult at that time. Even if the orphanage will continue to take care of children over ten years old, it is usually enough to raise them until they are fifteen or sixteen years old. Besides, I have no health problems and should be independent long ago.” Yan Laixi said, “I have already reached the age where I should repay, but I am still asking for something.”

“Are you the only one here like this?” Feng Su asked.

“Huh?” Yan Laixi didn’t quite understand.

Feng Su asked: “Only if you are the dean or a child older than yourself after you become an adult, will they still care about your life and help you financially?”

Yan Laixi shook his head: “No, the age is not necessarily certain, but my mother will always take care of each child until they graduate from school and have a stable life.”

“Then what shouldn’t be yours?” Feng Su asked, “Are your other brothers and sisters also receiving help that shouldn’t be theirs? It’s also a burden and a drag? And when did you ask for it? Why didn’t I hear you talk about this part?”

“No…I didn’t mean that, I just thought…” Yan Lai opened his mouth sparsely, but couldn’t come up with a suitable explanation, so he had to admit, “Okay, maybe there’s something wrong with my expression.”

He wanted to turn over the question and continue talking, but Feng Su asked relentlessly: “It’s not that there’s something wrong with your expression. It’s that you are only so harsh on yourself, but you can obviously think that this is what you should and normal for others. Why can’t you do it if you were this person?”

“How you demand yourself is your own business. How can you use your own standards to demand others.” Yan Laixi said vaguely, and then asked, “Do you still want to listen?”

This is an avoidance, and I don’t want to continue discussing this issue.

It is neither meaningful nor beneficial to force him to return to unresolved issues now. Some ideas cannot be changed overnight.

“Well, keep talking.”

“In short, during that time, I had to go to class, work part-time, and find time to write novels – I don’t know why I had to write things that were of no ‘use’ to me at the time when I was so tired, but I just didn’t want to put it down. Maybe it was a way to let myself breathe.”

“After all, I’m still in school, and the time I can work is very scattered. The hourly wage is not high. After a month, I don’t actually have much money. I still have to save for tuition fees. So for a while, even the money for food had to be deducted and deducted again and again.”

“It was also during that time that I discovered that some of the things I was picky about and didn’t eat were actually edible. Although I probably didn’t eat most of them, I have to say that I am really used to being picky eaters.”

“You said it yourself and you still don’t eat most things.” Feng Su couldn’t help but interrupt again. If someone else had told him this, he might not have bothered to listen, but if the other person was Yan Laixi, he would want to refute again and again. No, that’s not the case. This is just your misunderstanding of yourself. “And why do you have to eat things you don’t like? You don’t just like delicacies from the mountains and seas, or you have to eat some rare and exotic treasures. If you eat every day, you will lose everything.”

“So now I’m starting to pick things up again. Those things that I discovered I can eat. And even if they are part of it, there are actually not many.” Yan Laixi followed his words with a playful smile, as if he didn’t want the conversation to get serious anymore. “It was an economic problem at the time, and then the things I unexpectedly insisted on became an unexpected source of income. After the problem was solved, I returned to the state of being spoiled to be too picky.”

Feng Su: “Then when will you get used to being a picky eater who makes others guess what you don’t eat?”

Yan Laixi did not struggle needlessly, and there was not a single thing in the meal that he did not eat. If once could be a coincidence, and twice could be luck, then the three times, except for the memory of the amnesiac Chi Fu’s body, could only be due to someone’s off-site guidance.The off-field guidance Feng Su could find was undoubtedly the only person they knew in common and who knew their preferences well – Lin Yuyou.

Since Lin Yuyou would give off-site guidance, he would definitely point out the fact that he still pretends not to be picky about food at certain times until now. Even if he didn’t point it out, Feng Su might not have discovered or guessed it.

“It’s gone now.” Yan Laixi said, “At least I don’t have this problem with you anymore.”