Nanke Yifu Chapter 18

Chapter 18

The last few days of the year were the only time when playing in the water outdoors wouldn’t leave you shivering uncontrollably. Since they were already at the seaside, it was impossible not to seize the opportunity.

The beach and the sea clearly held far more appeal for Yan Laixi and Chi Fu than the sunrise. As soon as the sun was fully up, the two immediately withdrew their attention and focused on digging the sandpit they had casually started while watching the dawn.

A three-year-old child would at least use a bucket to build a castle, but these two were just digging holes.

Seeing Yan Laixi digging in the sand while his eyes kept darting toward the sea, Chi Fu knew that bringing his bag was absolutely the right decision, justifying his willingness to sacrifice some of his image to carry a large satchel.

Originally, Yan Laixi was worried about getting his clothes wet, but when he saw Chi Fu pull out two pairs of shorts and two sun-protection shirts from the bag, he immediately stood up, ready to run into the sea. Fortunately, Chi Fu was quick enough to grab him.

“There’s a place to change over there. Should we go change first?”

The weather wasn’t warm enough yet to feel completely comfortable wearing only shorts. Moreover, for portability, both the tops and bottoms he had dug out were the thinnest ones in his closet. All four items, when rolled up tightly, took up about the same space as a slightly large water bottle.

Since they would inevitably get cold once their clothes got wet while playing, there was no need to stay cold on the way back. After changing, the two went to store their belongings. When they returned, they saw someone walking toward the beach carrying a small bucket and a shovel.

Chi Fu asked Yan Laixi, “How did you sleep yesterday?”

Yan Laixi didn’t understand what prompted the question, but he answered, “Very well.”

Chi Fu: “Then you can stay up a little longer today.”

With that, he didn’t even give Yan Laixi a chance to disagree. He ran over, called out to the person carrying the small bucket, said a few words, and the person pointed him in a direction.

“There’s a small shop a little further ahead. Want to go?” Chi Fu returned and asked Yan Laixi, “We can buy a shovel and a bucket. We can use them to play in the sand, and we can even go tide pooling later when the tide goes out.”

No wonder he asked if he slept well yesterday and if he could stay up today. It looked like he planned to keep playing. What happened to saying that staying up late was bad for your health?

So what if it was bad? It wouldn’t kill him, and between playing and sleeping, he would obviously choose to play.

“Let’s go.” Yan Laixi didn’t even need Chi Fu to tell him where the shop was; he headed straight in the direction the person had pointed.

The low tide was still some time away, and that waiting period was, of course, used to turn themselves and each other into “water-absorbing sponges” freshly pulled from the sea.

Perhaps it had been too long since he’d been to the seaside, but Yan Laixi was unusually excited. He shoved the shovel into Chi Fu’s hand, grabbed the bucket, and ran into the sea. The first thing he did was scoop up a bucket of seawater and splash it toward Chi Fu, who had followed him. The other man only froze for a second before starting to retaliate.

Even a small shovel was still a piece of metal. Fearing it might slip and fly out, causing accidental injury, Chi Fu had to stick his only “weapon” in his pocket, relying on his two hands to fight against one bucket.

However, standing in such a large expanse of water, it was hard to say whether splashing water with two hands or throwing water with a bucket would soak them more, but if it was a contest of speed, using hands was definitely faster.

Yan Laixi quickly realized he had chosen the wrong strategy. Chi Fu could tuck the shovel into his pocket, but Yan Laixi couldn’t tuck the bucket into his. If he threw it aside, the seawater would wash it away, so he could only hold it, where it got in the way.

Just as he was clearly losing ground, Yan Laixi lost his footing and had to focus on maintaining his balance. This was a golden opportunity, so Chi Fu naturally…

Helped Yan Laixi up.

He still remembered that he was trying to woo the other person, after all.

On the battlefield, pitying your enemy is the greatest taboo; it will deliver a fatal blow, even if your enemy is your crush, and even if the battlefield is a water fight.

Seeing Chi Fu reach out to steady him, Yan Laixi stopped trying to maintain his balance. He immediately turned sideways and fell backward, which not only prevented him from falling too hard but also pulled Chi Fu into the sea with him.

It proved that he wouldn’t make the same mistake twice in the same battle.

Chi Fu hadn’t anticipated Yan Laixi’s move at all and was pulled into the seawater. If Yan Laixi hadn’t quickly hauled him up before he kissed the sea floor, he probably would have swallowed a mouthful of sand mixed with small fish and shrimp.

“Little Book!” Chi Fu used the position of falling into the sea to flip over and pin Yan Laixi down. “That’s too sneaky!”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” Yan Laixi was trapped by Chi Fu’s body and arms. He braced himself against the sand at the bottom, only letting his head stick out of the water. “Get up quickly, or people will think we’re drowning in half a meter of water.”

“Oh.” Chi Fu released him, leaned back, and kept only his face above the water, delivering a dramatic, unenthusiastic reading: “Ah, help, I’m drowning. Little Book, save me quickly.”

“Drowning, are you?” Yan Laixi got up and walked toward the shore without looking back. “Then I’ll go find someone to rescue you.”

“You can’t run!” The person who was floating like a corpse suddenly came back to life, grabbing Yan Laixi’s ankle to stop him. “If I wait for you to find someone, I’ll be drowned. The water is so shallow, there’s no danger. Just haul me up.”

Yan Laixi: “If there’s no danger, how can you drown?”

Chi Fu: “I’m useless; I can drown myself, so hurry up and haul me out.”

Yan Laixi still didn’t reach out. He squatted beside him, resting his chin on his hand, and asked, “How about I wait for you to drown and then drag you up and bury you in the sand?”

Chi Fu’s eyes darted around. Being dragged ashore as a corpse—ignoring the unimportant factor of the awkward posture—was just another way of saying Yan Laixi would carry him ashore, right? Hauling him up would at most involve a quick lift, after which he’d have to stand and walk on his own. Was there even a choice to consider?

“I’m dead,” Chi Fu declared, burying his face in the water and blowing a few bubbles.

Yan Laixi laughed. He reached under Chi Fu’s armpits to lift his upper body and asked, “Then, Mr. Corpse, where would you like to be buried?”

The corpse dutifully kept his eyes and mouth shut, only raising a finger to point in a direction before letting his hand flop down again.

“Do you want to be closer to the sea or farther away?” Since pointing might not be clear enough, Yan Laixi added, “Raise your left hand if you want to be closer, your right hand if you want to be farther, and both hands if you want to be somewhere in between.”

Chi Fu raised both hands, but his right hand was higher than his left.

Yan Laixi quickly understood: “So, a little farther away, right? Let’s go, time to dig a hole.”

On the beach, one person dragged the other. Once they reached the shore, they started digging a pit. It was fortunate that it was a weekday and not yet time for tide pooling, so there weren’t many people around.

Thoughtfully lifting Chi Fu’s own clothes to cushion his head, Yan Laixi dumped him onto the dry sand. As he dug the pit, he said, “After you come back to life, you’ll have to roll around in the sea again.”

Lying directly on the sand after coming out of the sea soaking wet wasn’t much better than rolling in the mud.

It was indeed uncomfortable to be covered in sand, so Chi Fu asked, “How about you resuscitate me so I can have a brief moment of lucidity to roll around in the sea?”

Yan Laixi: “We’re about to bury you; don’t bother resuscitating. Besides, you’ll still be covered in sand if you come back and get buried afterward.”

He was clearly having too much fun and was determined to bury him.

If he wanted to bury him, then so be it, as long as he didn’t bury his head too.

To be safe, Yan Laixi ultimately only buried Chi Fu’s legs completely in the sand, symbolically sprinkling only a couple of handfuls of sand on his body. Mission accomplished, Yan Laixi admired his “artwork” and commanded, “Alright, come back to life.”

“Now?” The person who had just wanted a moment of lucidity to wash off the sand in the sea was suddenly in no hurry. Chi Fu lay motionless, blinking at Yan Laixi. “A living corpse that drowned in half a meter of water is a rare sight. Just hauling me up and burying me? Shouldn’t we take a picture?”

“Yes, yes, come on.” Yan Laixi pulled out his phone. He was also wet and didn’t want to sit on the sand. He squatted beside Chi Fu, supporting himself with one hand, and held up his phone, tilting his upper body back. Chi Fu initially maintained his corpse pose, but after Yan Laixi pressed the shutter, he raised his hand and flashed a peace sign. Yan Laixi, who had already put his hand down and was about to stand up, saw this, adjusted his pose to cooperate, and took another picture.

After half a minute, Chi Fu was still lying there, unmoving.

“Aren’t you getting up?” Yan Laixi asked.

Chi Fu: “I’m waiting for you to dig me out, aren’t I?”

He spoke as if he couldn’t get out himself; his legs were covered in sand, not cement.

But Yan Laixi dug him out anyway. Honestly, it really did feel a bit like digging a hole for some other purpose and finding a fresh corpse.

A long time separated sunrise and the suitable time for tide pooling. The one who stayed up late wasn’t hungry, but the one who got up early was. Coupled with their completely unrestrained, shameless, almost primitive game of chase, Chi Fu finally caught a lull in the battle to ask Yan Laixi, “Are you hungry?”

Before Yan Laixi could answer, he added, “I’m hungry.”

Yan Laixi didn’t even hesitate, saying, “Then go eat by yourself. I’m not hungry.”

Cold, ruthless, and decisive. Chi Fu felt like a disfavored puppy, pitifully watching his owner enjoy time with a new favorite.

A good puppy should obediently go eat by itself and not disturb the owner’s fun, but Chi Fu was not a puppy; he was an evil bipedal beast.

The bipedal beast stretched out his arms, wrapped them around the other bipedal beast’s waist, and lifted him off the sand like pulling a radish, walking toward the road.

“Put me down!”

The rebellious evil bipedal beast suddenly became obedient again, putting the person down and letting him walk on his own.

Actually, he hadn’t become obedient; he was just about to drop him. Chi Fu calling himself useless was somewhat true; he really didn’t have much strength. He hadn’t exercised since physical education classes ended after elementary school. If Yan Laixi hadn’t been light, he probably wouldn’t have been able to carry him even those few steps just now.

“What are we eating?” Yan Laixi asked.

Sure enough, appropriate rebellion brought maximum benefits.

“Since we’re at the seaside, how about finding a seafood place?”

Yan Laixi: “If you haven’t woken up yet, you can lie down on the beach and sleep some more.”

Although it was supper for him, for Chi Fu, who kept normal hours, it should be breakfast. Yan Laixi wouldn’t comment on eating seafood for breakfast, but which seafood restaurant would be open at this hour? Was Chi Fu planning to set up a pot on the beach and cook it himself?

“I’m not kidding,” Chi Fu said. “When I went to buy the shovel and bucket just now, I smelled garlic butter. There’s definitely a place nearby.”

Did garlic butter necessarily mean seafood? Well, this was the seaside. Did the smell definitely come from a restaurant? Well, the nearest residential area was probably too far away for the smell to drift from there. If there was a smell, why hadn’t Yan Laixi noticed anything just now? Well, Chi Fu must have a sharper nose than him.

Yan Laixi looked at the raw oysters on the grill and then at the time. In his impression, grilled oysters were something that should appear when the letters before the hour digit “8” were “pm.” Had his reversed day-night cycle finally messed up his common knowledge of dining culture, or was this a regional difference, and one that could arise from the distance between the central and southern parts of a Chaozhi District?

However, this difference was quite nice. He suggested it be promoted throughout the district so he wouldn’t occasionally crave a late-night snack only to find all the shops selling breakfast. A late-night snack should look less healthy and light to truly qualify as one.

The two ordered a non-spicy portion of scallops with vermicelli and garlic butter. They skipped the oysters because Yan Laixi didn’t want them. Chi Fu ordered a small portion of fried rice for himself. Since Yan Laixi wasn’t hungry, he just ordered a bottle of soda.

By now, Yan Laixi’s “pre-meal ritual” not only didn’t avoid Chi Fu but also included him. He poked at the scallops with his chopsticks for a long time, leaving the adductor muscle and clipping the rest of the parts, along with the garlic butter on the surface, over to Chi Fu.

It wasn’t that he didn’t eat the parts of the scallop other than the muscle, he just didn’t like them as much. When eating alone or with others, he would just swallow it all in one bite, but with Chi Fu present, he would pick it out.

“Don’t you not eat garlic?” Chi Fu saw him only pick up the small clump of garlic butter on top and leave the rest, thinking he found it too troublesome to pick out. “Should I help you pick it out?”

“No need, this little bit is fine.”

“Is that so? It seems choosing to eat this meal was the right decision. I’m one step closer to figuring out your mysterious palate.” Chi Fu said, reaching for Yan Laixi’s drink. “Let me have a sip.”

Yan Laixi pushed the glass bottle over, turning the straw toward Chi Fu.

Chi Fu took the drink, sipped through the straw, and pushed it back. Watching Yan Laixi eat, he asked, “Do you like garlic butter vermicelli? Or just the kind inside the scallops?”

“Hmm.” Yan Laixi nodded. “I think I like both. I haven’t tried it with anything else.”

Chi Fu: “Then next time, I’ll make you garlic butter vermicelli with shrimp?”

“Sounds good,” Yan Laixi said without ceremony. “You’ll have to peel the shells for me.”

After eating and resting for a while, they strolled around to digest. When they returned to the seaside, the tide had receded. The damp sand was scattered with various small holes. Yan Laixi and Chi Fu knew nothing about the differences between these holes or what might be inside them. They didn’t bother checking their phones or asking a local for simple tide pooling tips; they just dug purely for fun.

Fortunately, the sea’s bounty for humans was plentiful. Even two idlers who knew nothing wouldn’t fail to dig up some small, unfortunate creatures left on the sand. Since they weren’t doing it for food, the added challenge only made it more exciting.

After half an hour of searching, their bucket contained more shells than marine life that was likely on the human menu. Suddenly, Chi Fu shouted and called Yan Laixi over.

He was standing next to a small corner formed by two pieces of wood. When Yan Laixi approached, he stepped aside.

Inside, there was a crab holding up its claws, about the size of a fist.

“Want to catch it?” Chi Fu asked Yan Laixi.

“Where would we put it after we catch it?” Although they had collected a bucket of miscellaneous fragments, they had planned from the start to only keep a few pretty shells as souvenirs and throw everything else back into the sea. They hadn’t expected to encounter such a large crab, so they had no means of restricting its movement. Small crabs were one thing, but one this size would definitely climb out of their mini bucket. If the crab was vengeful, they might even get pinched.

Chi Fu made a throwing motion toward the sea: “Catch it and throw it straight back into the sea.”

Yan Laixi took the shovel from his hand, bent down toward the crab, but didn’t make a move. He told Chi Fu, “You catch it.”

Not only was he just watching the fun, but he was also stealing the only tool. That was truly unethical.

Chi Fu initially thought about letting the crab pinch him on purpose, then using the opportunity to whine to Yan Laixi, but he quickly decided against it. It would hurt. There were plenty of opportunities to act cute; why suffer that pain unnecessarily?

They backed up a few steps, but the crab still didn’t move. Chi Fu tentatively moved the wood aside. Seeing its fortress dismantled, the crab scurried sideways on its eight legs.

Then, Yan Laixi flipped it over with a shovel.

“Quick!” Yan Laixi told Chi Fu. “Grab it and throw it into the sea!”

So “catch” meant this kind of catch—he just didn’t want to touch it directly with his hand.

Although this was Chi Fu’s first time catching a crab at the seaside, he had caught plenty in the kitchen. There were certainly differences, but also many commonalities.

Pinch, swing, throw—all in one smooth motion. With a “plop,” a splash erupted on the sea surface. Chi Fu wondered if the thrown crab was confused. He rubbed his fingers; he was actually quite afraid of being pinched, too.

“Is there something in there?” Yan Laixi asked.

Chi Fu withdrew his gaze from the sea surface and followed the direction of Yan Laixi’s finger, spotting a small jar.

He picked up the jar. Sunlight shone through, revealing an octopus inside.

It seemed his luck improved when Yan Laixi was nearby. Chi Fu felt that if he had come alone, he definitely wouldn’t have found both a crab and an octopus.

However, Yan Laixi’s good luck wasn’t omnipotent; it couldn’t suppress Chi Fu’s tendency to court disaster.

Chi Fu directly stuck his finger into the jar. Yan Laixi didn’t have time to stop him. Unsurprisingly, the octopus suctioned onto him.

An octopus this small only suctioned onto his hand; it wouldn’t cause any harm or pain. But Chi Fu had never handled a live octopus before and didn’t know what to do. He didn’t dare shake it off and just stood there, flailing his arms and making inarticulate “ah” sounds at Yan Laixi.

He hadn’t handled one, and Yan Laixi had even less experience. Yan Laixi hadn’t even touched raw edible octopus much. He steeled himself and used the small shovel to pry the tentacles suctioned to Chi Fu’s hand. The octopus was cooperative; after one leg was pried loose, it crawled onto the shovel.

Without any discussion, the two acted with perfect, swift synchronization: one placed the jar on the sand, and the other placed the shovel over the mouth of the jar. Only after the small octopus crawled back inside did they both breathe a sigh of relief.

Yan Laixi picked up the shovel and said to Chi Fu, “I didn’t realize you were afraid of that.”

“I am! I’ve never held a live octopus before. Anyone would be scared if it suddenly suctioned onto their hand.” Chi Fu said, launching into his exaggerated, dramatic performance. “My fragile heart has been startled and is in urgent need of comfort.”